Want To Be More Confident? Give Compliments

how to become a photographerThough I like to think of myself as a confident, self-assured person, I’ve never been immune to te insecurities and worries that plague all of us. I’ve spent a lot of time questioning my own talents and gifts. Am I actually talented at all? Will I ever be as successful as I want to be? Why am I even trying so hard? When is the last time I produced work I was proud of? When is the last time I washed my hair? It’s easy to drive myself crazy with questions and self-doubt.

In recent years though, I’ve seen my confidence soar and those around me have noticed as well. Much of my confidence can be contributed to age and professional successes, but I have a secret weapon: I spend as much time as I can complimenting the people around me.

Human beings naturally need praise. It isn’t a weakness to crave recognition and respect. All of us can admit to the swelling joy we feel when someone truly praises us or our work. A simple, “Great job” from a boss, coworker or friend can help validate all the effort you put into a project. It’s easy to forget that giving a compliment can feel just as powerful as receiving one.

If you work hard to lift up the people around you, you’ll get to reap the rewards. Think about it- If the people around you feel good, you’ll feel good. The energy is contagious!

At the same time, to compliment other people signifies a certain amount of self-assuredness. Insecure, jealous people tend to dedicate their energy to criticizing and bringing people down. Confident people have no issue with recognizing the greatness of others, because their insecurities don’t hold them back. Competition can breed great work, but sometimes it’s more empowering to truly want the best for all of us.

My girlfriends and I have a game called “The Compliment Game,” which is as simple as it sounds. We straight up spend hours just feeding each other compliments and it’s fun as hell. Everyone wins.

You don’t need to schedule a cheesy, lovey-dovey night with your best friends to apply the basic principles of the compliment game to your everyday life. (Though I do highly recommend it!) Dedicate your energy to lifting up the people around you, and see how much better you feel in almost no time at all.


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Rachel Perkins is a writer, editor, event planner, photographer, social media-er and all around creative-ish person. @rachie_claire