Tabatha Coffey Asks: How Do You Want to Feel?

Do you feel stuck? Miserable? Unable to get what you want?

You are definitely not alone. For most of my career, women would come into my salon, sit in my chair, and tell me things they wouldn’t tell anyone else. They weren’t telling me how they wanted their hair done. They were telling me how they wanted to feel.

How do you want to feel?

It isn’t the question most people think to ask themselves, yet it is the perfect way to get to the root of what it is you are really looking for.

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Maybe you look around your life and you think, “if only I made more money…”, “if only I were more fit…”, and on and on.

We all have those nasty internal dialogues. We’ve taken toxic messages someone else has told us, or we have told ourselves and we play them over and over again in our head until we believe them, but they are wrong. Flat out wrong.

You can change.

The first step is to simply identify the narrative. It might have been playing for so long, you don’t even realize it is there. But with a little reflection you suddenly notice when it is playing and you can push back, catch yourself, and stop it.

So many of the people I’ve “Taken Over,” coached, and counseled over the years are sabotaging themselves – without even realizing it. Why? Because they are secretly afraid. They are afraid of change. Afraid of the responsibility that comes with it. Afraid of being uncomfortable. Afraid of asking for what they want. Afraid of what people will say. Afraid to fail.

Let’s be real: change is uncomfortable, but so is being stuck and unhappy.

Something I hear all of the time is, “I wish I had your confidence.” But they are getting it wrong. It isn’t about confidence, it is about courage.

You think you need confidence, but what you really need is courage.

Confidence is walking into a situation and knowing what the outcome is going to be. Courage is doing it because you believe in it.

If you want to make real changes; start your business, stick to a fitness plan, change your job, you have to find the courage within yourself. It’s there. It is in everyone. You just have to be willing to believe in yourself and take the first step.

Is everything going to go smoothly? No. Are you a total screw up if things don’t go as planned? No. But you can’t let your ego or fear dictate how you respond to roadblocks. It isn’t going to be easy. When things don’t go our way it is often our egos that take the hit. We close down feel defeated and stop trying. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Everyone is free to choose a different way. It is always a choice.

On March 19, we are going to get together and we are going to ask ourselves the hard questions. We aren’t going to judge ourselves, we are going to go deeper and explore what we really want. Then we are going draw a roadmap and figure out how to be bold, resilient and better than ever.

You can do this. We can do it together.

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Tabatha Coffey

Tabatha is a successful business woman, motivational speaker, and global ambassador for world-renowned brands like L'Oreal.