Lessons

Lesson Info

Overview of Course

on the first day, which is today. We're going to start out talking about your relationship with you. This is all gonna be about how do we move away from functional relationships to ones that we actively care about? And we see that we don't have these low standards in these high expectations and in this confusion of what it's all over or frustrating or we don't like or it's just not satisfying both of us. Um, the core tool kit of healthy relationships. This has to do with any sort of relationships romantic with your Children, with your parents, with your business, with your clients. What are the core elements? And this was a surprise to me. I mentioned that I did the research on this. Some of these I kind of assumed, of course, communications important. I get that. But a couple other ones that were actually the clinchers if you have this year, you don't have this. You can dr or go south fast. I hadn't expected and doing this research actually has helped me personally. Quite a lot commun...

ication and actually listening. I have to preface actually listening. When I was back there trying to twitter listen to you guys and Facebook. I was not actually listening. I was half listening. Andan laughter, the magic bullet. Laughter kept coming up in my research, which I loved. I loved the idea that if you go to a funny movie for two hours, you're doing great things for the world. We'll explain that later, and when we have and we're and hopefully this all works out, we're gonna be skyping in. Kyle sees he is a friend of mine. Through Twitter. We have never I actually met, but we became friends by following each other on Twitter. His name's Kyle Cease and I mentioned yesterday at the end of the posing Children's guy. Of course, he's a comedian. He's gotten all kinds of accolades and been Top Top this comedians on Comedy Central. And he was in the movie 10 Things I Hate About You. If you know that movie, you'll recognize him. But he's also, uh, becoming very known in the transformational world in terms of thinking about pulling back and thinking about relationships and who you are in them. And he's currently and the reason I say we're hopefully gonna grab him on Skype. OK, he's currently emceeing an event. Lightning in a bottle. A pretty large event going on, and he's gonna be jumping off stage to talk with us. Andi, join us later this afternoon. Okay? And then on the second day, day to that is what a good relationship spiel about the most common obstacles in modern relationships. These have changed. I'm prepossessing. I want to make a really big point about saying modern relationships because these have changed over the last just a decade, not to mention the last 2030 40 years. What are what a really breaking up relationships today versus not that long ago Because of our new society fighting fair and neutralizing arguments. I love the idea of fighting fair fighting. Sounds like such a bad word when we say fighting fair, it sounds kind of like the gods healthy. One of the things that we're gonna talk about, by the way, when I say most common obstacles and modern relationships, I just want to dio quick shot. Two people will be joining us at two separate times. One of them one of the If any kids are listening, I'll spell it out. One of the topics has to do with the ex word. Um, and one of our guests will be coming on to talk a little bit about that. Do you wanna mention real quick? Interesting tie. And we have to him. Sure. So Mike was in our studio audience for the past three days here in Seattle, in Seattle, and I keep doing that to for Pam Slims Workshop. That was fabulous Workshop and on escape from Cubicle Nation. And he is a coach, and he works with men. Are his clients on relationships from a man's perspective. So we thought, My goodness, we're having a two day course on relationships. You would be a fabulous guest. And so you talked last night, and now we're having a month. I was talking with the dating coach last night. No, we just literally chatted for a few minutes and I said, You know, you want to join for a little bit just to talk on this topic. It was perfect because his whole focus is working with men to get them to better understand a lot of more complex issues that come up in dating and relationships. And the one topic the S E X topic we'll be where he is, because there's a lot of issues from having a major one, and he's gonna talk a little bit about that. I'm still spelling. I think my kids are watching on Ben after that. Towards the end of our most modern obstacles, I'm gonna give you I'm just gonna give it away and do a big teaser as toe one of what? The modern obstacles. Waas. Because I personally had experienced the Stephen I experiences to great extent. It was a major issue in our relationship, and I didn't realize there's a major issue in so many relationships, which is what we're calling shared lifestyle duties, shared lifestyle duties or household duties or anything that I said duties twice or anything that if you are sharing ah, home and especially if you have a family, too, and you have all that stuff to dio every single day just to sustain yourselves on way. When we talk about all the stuff, we're gonna break it down into a spreadsheet form and really talk about it. But what our experience was is that we both had extremely different views on who was doing what on how much of it was getting done percentage wise by each person and how that related to what else we had to do with our own businesses that were running and these kids that we had and all that sort of thing. This apparently has become shockingly common and is one of the top reasons that people have so much friction in the relationship or they don't make it is. It's not about doing the things it's about feeling like you have support, your understood your appreciated and that you're on the same page. It's that gap that is the major barrier on DSO. When I when we did this experience several years ago, I created a spreadsheet pretty rough spreadsheet, and presented it, and we literally filled in all the blanks and we had a number come up and I was like, See, so we didn't do it the right way to do it. Now what we're gonna dio Steve is actually sat down. This meant hours and hours and hours to his credit, building out a pretty tricked out strategy that is gonna be giving away for free with the download that anybody can fill out on. He's got it all calculations and numbers. You hit this and that changes in that changes you putting colors to his parachute. But he's going to come on and present on it in a way that that showcases exactly what we learned on, and he will present it to you in a much healthier way that I presented mind. It's a really, actually a very cool tool, and I think it could be extraordinarily impactful for a lot of people because the way to step through it is in a way that's really supportive and kind and loving. Not like I do that you don't do that. I'm so excited to see this spreadsheet and action because I have heard about it. And to see the look on Sarah's face and the gas in the excitement. I think I mean a big deal. And if you take the time to utilize this and communicate, it's gonna be huge. Yeah, and it's not you. Maybe you're together and you have kids. Maybe you're just roommates. Maybe your whole family, together with adult Children, whatever you share. Ah, life and you share a household and you share a lot of duties. All right, so then we have mentioned fighting fair, neutralizing arguments again. That's also complicated compromise negotiation. We're gonna blend that. That's gonna be a really strong mix of business and personal, because there's techniques that we use every day. And I know a lot of people you successfully to be able to move through friction points that are actually business techniques that work really well in everyday life s. So we're gonna step through that toxic relationships. Some of these we know we're happy and others we don't. We're gonna drill down into understanding what those are and identifying them in your life. Because just because you're with someone and I say with someone, I'm gonna keep couching. This is like this could be your best friend from high school who just have such a different relationship with now than you did then. But you're still friends. This doesn't mean the other person is a jerk other. They're toxic. It means that the connection you share together has become for whatever reason, and being able to better identify that impact on your life relationships with Children, we're gonna have to people joining us for this and relationships with Children is different than parenting Children it's different than being like the best friend with your kids and rolling around the floor and having fun with them and running through a park. Relationships is building that cement that you want in place for the years where they're not gonna talk Teoh or there there's more issues and that the most important thing you have in place is a foundation that has a lot of trust, so that when you really do need to hear things, they know that you're the person they can talk to. So we'll be focusing on relationships with Children. We've got Jenny Solar from the happy family movement she's gonna Skype in. She's actually on extended family trip going through, I think there through the Dakotas. Last time I talked to them, they have, ah, happy family movement. It's a really fun website with a lot of ideas for how to be happy. I wanted her to Skype in and talk to us because I am. I met her at down in a Dominican Republic at the wet If conference, and she spoke on how her why the reason she started This was the juxtaposition of her childhood with what she wanted for her Children, and I'll let her speak on that. I think it's really interesting on Ben. In addition, we're gonna have data from the happy sponge Join us and they say, Happy families find I'm sure it's very happy families Andi. She is known as an expert in this field. She has a lot of background and education with Children. Aziz well as a parent. And she's gonna come here and join us live and talk about relationships with Children as well, which I am very much looking forward to. And then, lastly, but not like emotionally. Lastly, is friendships and social media friendships. I think I really think a lot of friendships. I think friendships have a way of getting swept under the rug or being something that's just supposed to be there when you have time for it. Andi, I would love for a lot of us to re prioritize where we put friendships in our very busy lives on get into a lot of the research that speaks to why that is so significant. From just a longevity perspective. It's very interesting and then, you know, social media. I think there's a lot of confusion about social media in terms of crafting a persona versus who you really are. And are these relationships real or fake? So we're gonna be chatting about that, too.