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Skype with Kyle Cease

Lesson 12 from: Relationships

Tamara Lackey

Skype with Kyle Cease

Lesson 12 from: Relationships

Tamara Lackey

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Lesson Info

12. Skype with Kyle Cease

Next Lesson: Day 2 Pre-Show

Lesson Info

Skype with Kyle Cease

All right, Kyle. Here, Kyle. Kyle is here. Now, this is really get to practice What I was just talking about because I completely can't see you, so I only can listen. No, it's OK. So, like, are you looking at a screen? Like doing that like, new weather guy thing? Like piles here and I should Should I be positioning my face? You're just I'm looking at you kind of strike. No, no, no. Like that. Yeah, right. No, there there. That's exactly there. Because this would never work. But I remember there was a show called TV's Bloopers and Practical Jokes in the eighties, which Dick Clark and Ed McMahon did, and they would have celebrity guests. Come on and you could go. Hi, everybody. And then he would be facing like this. So it's supposed to look like he's looking at Dick Clark, but he's not looking in the camera. So it was just the weirdest looking thing. He's just like, That's a good point. Think they're tricking? Well, you fact that stress One of the chances you have your laptop on your leg...

s, it's actually 70% 70 But that's on a scale of negative 20 to 30. So 80. And so the numbers are up. I'm not really, but if I were, I would be okay. Well, because when you move, you jiggle. Oh, sorry. Do you want to put it? You want me to move it? I understand. In Canada, it's a little different when you put it. So it wouldn't be weird if I turned it. And like, there was a horrifying bunch of stuff happening behind me when I turned this way and then turn it So it's just totally awful for you. Like when I do that, I shouldn't turn it at all. I won't laugh at all. What you're doing is great. Just trying to let go dead from the waist down. Okay? Okay. I knew that every Thursday. So that way you joining us from, by the way. I'm right now. I'm actually back at my house. I was doing this event that I actually just left. I can't do the rest of it. It's it's just a crazy It is a crazy giant festival. And it, you know, I'm still figuring out what my voices and you keep going to these different places and going out. This will be good and I performed there and I just like, Oh, I'm even clear on what my voice is now Because it's not where I wanted to be, too. So I'm I'm actually now at my house, uh, that I bought in 2007 because I hate my money. Just give it away every month. Really cool. Like I just keep giving like a lot of it, but very good. So, you know, wear like Twitter friends. Yes, it's emotionally riel, but just social media wise. I know it's weird. Teoh talk to you and more than 140 characters I e like, I should re say it to someone tweeting. I think the reason I want you to join us because I love your ideas and your thoughts in kind of the I guess it's called Transformational Space. The idea of being more mindful and aware and how you can marry humor with more emotional engagement. Correct. Well, what I find is it's ironic because I've been a stand up comedian for 23 years. I've had an amazing world in the comedy scene and done Comedy Central had to number one specials that all these amazing things. And then I have also gone through real transformations in my life. Some rial true dramatic transformations where I identified this matrix that we live in an illusion. And so I started hanging out in that world to and they're so serious and the comedy seems so cynical. So I find that you're either this very cynical, uh, funny person warrior, this very positive, serious person. And there's it's so weird because I'll go to the events and we're gonna take six days toe, let go of all the stuff and then six days will be happy. And I'll make a joke like this isn't about that. This is about being happy. And I'd be like, Well, they were just there just laughing at me to go. And why do people stop shaving their armpits? I don't understand why, Right, Cause in the transformational space, they just changed their name to Rainbow Marcus Sunshine and stop shaving the armpits. I'm, like, still be ableto have a shift without having to do that. So, uh, so I find that that's the most effortless thing is if you just are not taking life so seriously, not taking yourself so seriously and having fun with direction that's more profitable. That's more. It's more fascinating. It's more fun. It's more easy. I think we put way too much stress on ourselves, and everything is funny, including transformation. It's hilarious to its Solaris because didn't you have you have a pretty good background with reaching a rather significant place with anxiety? That really kind of helped mark that. Can you share a little of that? Yeah, I've been doing stand up since I was 12 years old, and I ended up it had such a long story, but I know we have, like, a minute, so that anxiety never came in. I start doing stand up when I was a little kid that I booked the movie 10 Things I Hate About You and not another teen movie. When I was 19 and 20 and then I started doing colleges, I ended up getting more. I've been more colleges than any atomic in history of done over 800 colleges in my pointing, and I literally lived on the road and every colleges two flights away from the day before. For some reason, they'll tell these kids they're so far away. Every college is in the middle of nowhere like tell these kids don't drink and don't don't do drugs and don't have sex, and they make it, so they have to. It's like colleges air Every year. It's your choices are palmar Susie. That was a little rated R, but I came out of me. But that's okay. Can I say so? But I did these gigs, and I lived on drive thru, and I didn't get any sleep, and it was absolutely insane. And I believe that if you don't keep creating, I had two challenges. One was my body had been full of drive through and all kinds of stuff for you for a long time, and I was able to do two hours, three hours of standard in my sleep, so I wasn't creating new material. I could just go on stage every night and just perform, and I believe very much if you're not constantly creating your mind will creatively sabotage you that the reason we have anxiety attacks is because we aren't living to the creative potential that we could live. Teoh and our mind is just bored. So it starts coming up with ways things could go wrong because you keep living in the same midlevel thing. You know, maybe you're in a job that you think that you need to have but really your way beyond. Or maybe you're in a relationship that isn't fulfilling you anymore. And there's all these. I believe very much that we have a first voice that always tells you what you need to dio. The first voice is so awesome. It's like, Hey, we should leave this company or we should write a book and it always will feel good but it can't tell you why. And the reason it can't tell you why you should do it is because you've never done it, so it has no specific reference of why it would be a good idea. So there's this first points that shows up, and it's just a feeling like, what if we left this company? Or what if I asked that woman out? What if I But then a second voice will show up and tell you why you shouldn't, because it's the voice of the collective thoughts of all the negative thoughts. So you might have this first places like we should leave this company and the second voices like, Well, if we dio, we won't get to go to the Cheesecake Factory party in two weeks. Voices like, Yeah, but if you listen to me, you comprehend that you'd own all the Cheesecake Factory's like, I'm the voice that, but I can't prove that to you just have to trust me And the second voices like now we really like cheesecake. So let's stay at this company for two more weeks, and then that voice shows up all the time. Like May. Maybe this relationship's not for me. I should leave this relationship. Then the second voices like, If you leave this relationship, we can't go to Cheesecake Factory and tried it and the first ones like we'd listen to me. And so I started realizing we're always scared because we don't have certainty on what we would gain, and we always basically look for what we will lose. And it's a huge mistake. With every decision we make. Our mind can physically always see what you will lose, but you can never measure what you'll gain. It never even looks for that. It doesn't think that so if you're thinking I should leave this job you go well, I lose 40 hours, a week of money and all the stuff that you can't see that you might find the job of your dreams or create your own career suddenly have 40 hours to actually brainstorm on a higher level. And so that's why if you don't live in that voice, if you don't do that, you're going to get an anxiety. And so I don't know much time I have. But I ended up getting that ended up getting an anxiety, and I discovered how that the anxiety was actually a calling to me to actually live Maurin alignment with myself. And I think that we hope I believe that we're like balloons that are always trying to go up. It's full of helium, but we let our balloons get tied up and caught on all these things that don't matter, like checking our Facebook wall 100 times a day or what CNN says, or all the stuff. And I don't believe in motivation. I believe in us just allowing our natural state, which, if you go back to your childhood state, was mad, was massive creativity and my big philosophy and this is what will totally help with relationships is you are what you love, not what loves you are childhood state was we loved being a deejay or a singer comedian, and we were checking how many people that I get on my list. How much money did I make? And as time goes on, society turns you into a consumer. The new scares you and tells you all these bad things that will happen. And so what happens is you go into a place of what will people think of me because that's the only way that could sell us. Stuff that we don't need is to make us feel like we're not complete as is. And the big thing that we make a mistake in a relationship is we suddenly think we need someone and we go into a place of lack because we hear these phrases and movies like you complete me. And if you say you complete me, you're saying I'm incomplete without you and that's what you could be in a store feeling totally good. And then someone gorgeous of the opposite sex walks by and you can't talk. You're just suddenly like I like corn bacon. You can talk because you want that person. And suddenly you put yourself into a massive state of lack. When you say when you say lack went two things one, your legs were just going crazy. I'm excited about what I'm saying. I love what you're saying. I love what you're saying. Clearly, that's why I asked you join us that. But you're saying it. All of this. I understand my content comes in like it's kind of like a universal studios, right? You know, when they shake the chairs, the same kind of thing, you're experience. Yeah, I'm like Transformers. I love it. You said something which I understand very well, but just to clarify, like I get this But these people just to clarify when you said you go into a state of lack, can you better explain what you mean as it relates to when you say you see that super hot person and you're like I love Gore broke record making. We could do it with anything. Let's say you have a presentation that night to give or let's say you have a job interview tomorrow immediately. What do you do? You think? Oh, I really hope I get this job interview, so I have to make it really good. So immediately we start to get nervous because we think that that thing will add to our life when we don't comprehend than our childhood state that we're good to go. Your complete. And so you sit there and you think to yourself stuff like, man, if I got this job, think of what it could do for me. All of a sudden, you're saying I need this job and all of a sudden you literally make yourself incomplete without the job. You're saying I have to do this. So now you start your presentation in front of your audience. You start your YouTube video that you're going to make you start this stuff under a total illusion, which is this has to go well, because then I will be complete. And so that's why old a sudden people go on stage and they get nervous or on a date or a job interview because they're under this illusion that this thing better go well so that I will become something. But you already are something. You were totally good to go. And so people all the time. So what do I dio? My answer is killed a party that thinks that you need to do something. It's you need to be. You need to comprehend that your job is to play. So I could have a gig tonight, for instance, performing in front of Barack Obama. But if I thought I better do well, I wouldn't be good at this interview. But because I'm just playing and I'm in the moment, And to me, all moments are truly equally important. This interview with you is totally fun. Then every moment is equally important. So later. Whatever I do if I'm watching TV, if I'm with a friend, whatever equally important doesn't add to my life I am complete is is then accidentally. I've practiced being in the moment all day, So if I was in front of Barack Obama tonight, I would be just as good because I am what I love, not what he thinks of May people always say, Wow, I wish I could have practice at that and what they don't realize is that's how you are the other 23 hours a day already doing it. Yeah, you people will have all this work and people go well, you must be. You know, you're so experienced as a comedian. I wish I could be that quick on stage like you are. I'm like, if you were, we go to your friend's house, you don't have a set list, you don't go first Alaskan if he has pets, and then nice. If you did, you'd be in your head and you'd be trying and you'd be in the way of the natural flow of how your conversation works. No. One thing that I've said to you have I plan. And that's because And that made it funny when the screens bobbing or all these different things because it's not a problem. It's just it's just the situation. And you can comment on that. And that way a heckler is in an audience is a valid thing. That way, if you're on a date with someone and the place is falling apart, you know you can make a joke about it versus going Oh, the date didn't go well. I blew it, you know, it's just an opportunity, and everything is living in the moment, and that's actual flow. And bizarrely people go. I wish I could do that, but I have to have a day job and all that stuff. You don't realize how much money you're losing by not living in this state. It's the most profitable place you could be because you come up with brilliant ideas and YouTube videos that can go viral, that come from a moment of true inspiration in the moment from playing. And that's our job is to be in that state. That's our only job, because if you have something big later and you're practicing for it, you don't get that. You're actually practicing practicing. You're getting good at worrying. You're getting good at planning and you're not playing it. So when you finally get in that situation, you spent all day being in the past and future monitoring, and that's how you'll be in the on the date or in the stage. You're saying because the the fact is everything you did prepping for it and worrying about it and stressing forward and hoping nothing was okay. Yes, we just trained yourself to keep going on that when you're in the actual experience, right, right, So if I so if I Let's say, you know, I've done comedy forever. If I got a call that I was on Conan tonight, I would just keep playing like this and I'd literally go. And the state, the stage just makes me two feet higher. That's it. But most people, what they do is they practice practicing. So they actually start pacing back and forth, looking down. They think they're reacting to nerves, but they're actually creating nerves. You're looking at all the ways that it could go wrong and you're in the future. You're not enjoying the moment you're in and you're pacing back and forth going. I hope this goes well. What if it goes bad like that one time now you're in the past. I hope this thing in the future doesn't go bad like this thing in the past. And now all of a sudden your mind is not in the moment. You're not playing. And when you finally go on stage or on to the date, you've spent all day getting very good at worrying, and now you're on stage worrying. I hope that joke sounded good while you're saying what jokes next and there's no presence or connection and this is the only thing I believe work here to work on. And the weird byproduct is your finances, your health, your money, your relationships go through the roof. And interestingly enough, as you're talking about, we just finished speaking about listening. That's why I wanted to show the video of you being present with your crinkly kind eyes. You do that very well. Looks like you did it again. Do it again. Didn't do the kind eyes, like do the listening kind eyes. Oh, I think you, by the way, that listening video greatest video to throw any potential girl that I'm going like, I just Oh, you haven't deigned my mom and I sent her that. And I go just so you know, if I'm ever on a plane and I can't listen to you, just watch this. I did it as a joke, but it really worked that start writing. May I really like you because of that video? Like I really felt you were listening. I didn't know you. I was just talking into a camera way. Want Teoh? Check in and see where everybody confined Kyle online. And yes, we'll talk about your vet I can't listen to you anymore. Every present for you. I know it's funny how many rules we have for being in the moment. Larry, that's wonderful. Done. Yeah, but you're gonna be speaking on a lot of this over a three day period. Can you tell us a bit about that next week, July 19th 20th and 21st. I'm doing a three day event in L. A. Massively affordable. It's on this. It's the most profitable thing you can do. It's about the art of getting into a flow and playing, and I also have a special guest. Speakers. Dick Gregory, Who's the first black stand up comedian legend. Civil rights activist Kelly Carlin, who's George Carlin's daughter? The's are people who are talking about living in your purpose, letting go of things that don't fulfill you. And I'm gonna be speaking like crazy and going through a massive transformation work with people. Also, Michael Beck with Ricky Beckwith, is speaking out like its All star cast of people who are truly about creativity over Glenmore Shower, who's the star of 24 is 186. Movies like these people are all amazing creative people and We're all talking about the art of figuring out and being in the now learning how to get into flow and how it can make massive profit. Make your relationships growth through the roof. Everything I just said times a 1,000,000 it's the most. I think it's the most important thing to work on, and the event is major cheap. It's like if you're a college student in the military is $147 for the three day event on everyone else. I think it's like L a way it's in l A. Come, come, hang out. It's a It's an intimate crowd for three days. It's worth the trip. We have total deals for the hotel. If you sign up, you'll get a link for the hotel for like 100 bucks. It's worth the road trip. Bring your family down, come out and meet me. It's the real thing to I don't get in tow arguments about which invisible thing is wetter and I don't want to be a guru. It's me, actually just talking about how to be in that zone and helping people identify things that were the illusion, like putting too much effort into something trying versus allowing. Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. I your natural enthusiasm for it is just your you're not worried about. Am I being too? Except no, I am very, very naturally enthusiastic about it. And that is such a pool. Like I love that. And you can go to Kyle cease dot com. Yeah, it was recommended by Abraham Lincoln, right? Yes. Abraham Lincoln I worked with for years on. He was a huge fan, you know? You know who Jerry and Esther Hicks are? Yes, One time they channeled Abraham. That's a collection of entities they claim they're channeling. And I was on after them. So I told everybody that I was channeling Abraham Lincoln, which was really funny. So I was like, Does anyone have any questions for Abraham Lincoln? Which was for people in the transformation world? If you don't know where they are, that's not funny at all. Thank you very much. And we look forward toa following you on Twitter and all of that. Let's give a big round of applause waiting tomorrow way, just watching them interact with perhaps love it tomorrow we're gonna jump right into would love of cool stuff. We're gonna start with modern obstacles. If you feel like there's something that you are having a hard time getting through, we're gonna be probably covering it. Chuck, where to go through. We've got some great special guests coming, and I think I've got, like, four special guests tomorrow. That's gonna happen through, and that's pretty much all I'm gonna tell you right now other than it's gonna be really, really good. Kind of a different kind of more up format tomorrow.

Class Materials

bonus material with purchase

References.pdf
household-mgmt-excel.xls
household-mgmt-numbers.numbers

bonus material with enrollment

Five Genius Ways to Manage Stress In A Relationship.pdf

Ratings and Reviews

Trudi Butler LSWPP
 

Brilliant insightful course. Extremely helpful advice and practical solutions. I find Tamara a very warm, knowledgeable, fun and understanding instructor and almost everything she said rang true with me and probably everyone would find the same. I hesitate to say it's been a life-changing course for fear it sounds cheesy but it's definitely had a profound effect! Thank you so much Tamara for your honestly!

a Creativelive Student
 

I have read a review that i highly disagree with. I got more out of this course than I have from many overpriced therapy sessions, with so called qualified practitioners. She is honest about her qualifications and I feel lucky that she did not let her lack of formal training stop her from sharing her experiences and strategies she has put in place in her own life. I also thank her for sharing some private stories many people would not have felt comfortable to do so. My husband and I are both very grateful and much happier. THANK YOU!

a Creativelive Student
 

Insightful class. I recommend watching the course more than once.

Student Work

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