Introduction to Boudoir on the Edge
Now I know before we get started this class will contain mature imagery and viewer discretion is a bus. My name is ken klosterman and I am your host for boudoir on the edge with you in and brianna failan they are of doom or where less and they are innovators in boudoir education they are hailing all the way from canada and we are so excited to have him here on creative live for the very, very first time so take it away you in and brianna thanks thanks everyone on dh thanks to creative live for having us your support always means so much both sides there it's a pleasure to be here like kenna said were you in m brianna failing of doom or wear less dot com? We are from a small city of about four hundred thousand people, yet we have been able to travel internationally with our company. So the reason we say that as we want you to realize that you don't have to come from somewhere big and very we come from a conservative city so you don't need to come from somewhere somewhere that's very ope...
n we've been able to travel with that induce things outside of our area so the point is that you were able to make that bigger than just your small town so it can be done so why are we here today? We want to show you a little bit about how to look at boudoir differently so we look at boudoir as an art form, we're going to discuss our why and our themes today and a little bit later you is going to do some live posing with you on we'll be talking about why you should incorporate boudoir into your current business as well. I'm going to be talking later about some simple sales skills to help make boudoir a huge revenues part of your business. Um, so our approach when we started in the industry fused to shoot boudoir actually, I first started shooting nudes because I thought it was the most honest thing I could shoot because we thought boudoir, especially at the time this eleven years ago was too cheesy and too soft we still actually kind of feel like that is a bit of the case, and so we really didn't want to have anything to do with that. We did, we don't actually even like the word boudoir especially hate the word dude were way won't use it ever. So we really had to look at boudoir and decide what we want to do with it and we'd really decided that we could do whatever we wanted to do with it with our wedding photography at the time we were shooting stuff that was very different and we just thought, why don't we take that same approach but a lot of photographers feel like when they look at boudoir especially new photographers or wedding photographers that are starting to think about getting into boudoir they think they have to shoot it how it's always been shot the same way with weddings that there's this way that your clients wanted to be shot and you have to shoot it that way but for us we thought we could change the industry by just shooting it our way and even if we could change the industry we could at least change it for ourselves we would never want photos taken of us that were sort of soft and a little bit on the cheesy side so why were we going to shoot that? Um so like I said, our work is very different from the traditional way of looking up boudoir um is a very strong message we know our work is not for everybody we actually like it says their love us or hate us just don't like us we don't mind that people hate our work and we do have a lot of haters on dh that's fine with us it means we're doing something right it means we're pushing it and these were making people feel something and it means that because of that on the other side there are people that love our work and have tohave us and will hire us because of that and it speaks to them and we wanted to speak to them so because of that it really became early on for us this became our bottle and we just stood by I find it my father works for ford and one time I was talking to him about our model and he was telling me how they choose their cars for for it so he's a computer programmer for them he gets a lot of memos on one of the ways when they do car shows is they have that we do surveys and if a car gets all fives like safe set a one out of ten and they get all fives they won't produce that car because everybody just likes that car it's an okay car if the car gets a lot of zeros and a lot of tens they choose that car because the people that love that car will pay anything for that car and the people that I hate that car will still talk about that car so even though like I said we have a lot of haters they're still talking about us they're still talking about our work to man studios actually told us one of their workshops I had recently put up a couple shoot and if you know my couples work it definitely pushes it a little bit further than my other work on dh for the whole dinner after they did their workshop everybody passed around phones showing the couple shoot talking about it and they just said, even if you don't like it, you guys have spent an hour talking about the shoot, so really that's anybody can take a pretty photo, but not everybody can say something with that photo, and people aren't going to pay a lot of money just for something they like that's, okay? They'll pay a lot of money for what they love, what they have to have. Um, so the big thing is that what we're trying to push his well about is senior work as an art form senior self is more than just a service category has become probably one of the most underappreciated our firms out there were inundated with photos everywhere we're all on instagram everybody's, mothers, uncles, sisters is a photographer gears cheap now the time is gone when you know it was a leak class that we're we're all in a dark room, spending hours with that annoying red light on. So what I really want to do is make you think of it as an art. Now I still want you should still run it like a business there's no reason you shouldn't run like a business, otherwise run it like a hobby, because why spend the hours and hours struggling and working to make a business, um but you really should think of his art because it guides you. If you think of it that way and keep it as an art form, it gives you a voice, and it guides everything that you do, and it gives you focus and a vision of what you want to do and that's what people hire you for. People don't hire you for like I said before, a pretty photo. People don't hire you because you, uh, photograph someone famous once people thought hire you for your vision and what you have to say, and if you have a stronger something stronger to say, then that comes through, so you see here it is not just the actions, but the thought behind them that is important. The philosophy behind them is even more important. So for us, it's really about getting our message across about boudoir, that it is empowering, not because women get all dressed up and dolled up another hair makeup done, which is awesome and a lot of fun but that's not the point behind it, because they can do that in any type of shoe. So why is boudoir specifically important for us? Because it allows women to accept their sexuality and express it through our work women were allowed to say yes. Yes, I like sex just as much as a man I'm not ashamed of that I'm comfortable with my body I'm okay showing my body its mind to choose how much I want to show um and it also allows women to take sexuality back and own it we see it as a call to action to help women men gay straight, transgender whatever their sexual orientation is no category we want them to be able to express their own sexuality as exactly as they are exactly how they see it without anybody else imposing those ideas on them. Sexuality is a fundamental powerful part of who we are and we're trying to help women own that sexuality in a safe environment through artwork and show that sexuality is freely chosen not something that should be imposed on us by society and something really important to for us with boudoir is it could be a life changing event we see many of our clients come through the door and this is something that changes them permanently. When we first got into road oir it was mostly demand it was mostly brights we'd have brides come in for their wedding and they say, hey, can you shoot our boudoir my boudoir photos as well and it started to snowball and as we did meetings and viewings with our clients we started to listen to their stories and we would have mothers talk about how they hadn't felt this beautiful in a long time we've had a woman come in who was in a six year abuse of relationship we've had couples who've lost that spark or women who have just never seen that way at all and as we started listening to their stories we could see how much it was empowering in a life changing event for them and I specifically mentioned mother mentioned mothers I'm a mom we have two little girls they're seven and nine and I know when I first became a mom first and foremost that's what I wass I was no longer brianna I was no longer a wife I was a monk I didn't get to brush my hair a lot of days some days I don't even think I got changed out of my pajamas from the day before and so a lot of our clientele are mom's coming in and you really see that moment in them where they go hey, I'm still a beautiful sexual woman still I'm not just a month um and they had either not recognized that self part of themselves anymore. Another part for us is a lot of women come in women or teenager women who as teenagers were sat down with their parents and said you need to stay pure don't have sex until you're married if you show skin something is wrong with you um and it's a double standard with boys, you see a lot of times parents will say here's a condom go out and have some fun, but as a girl where taught that is wrong, it is wrong to like sex it's wrong to want to have sex, it's wrong to wear a skirt, anything like that? So we're trying to question this we're trying to put in people's faces. Why the double standard? Why are women treated differently than men and try and show through our work that they should be seen as equals? Society police is how women feel about sexuality and that's, something that we very adamantly are trying to change, and it could be something as simple as being made to feel bad for wearing heels. Having your hair makeup done when you go to the grocery store quite often, if a guy goes to the grocery store all done up in a suit, do you think he looks awesome? He's just coming from work? I've gone to the grocery store, died out before and been given looks like something was wrong with me, that I had my kids in the kurt and had had time to do my hair, so that is something we're trying to fight against, so combating the archaic view. Of sexuality really became the focus of our work, and there was a study done in brazil, and it said that sixty five point one percent of brazilians either believed partially or wholly than if dressed provocatively, women deserved to be attacked and raped. And then that fifty eight point five percent had a complacency between towards that that if women knew how to behave, then there would be there would be less rape. This blew our minds there's a slut shaming at its worst, it's deplorable tow us, especially in two thousand fifteen. So we want to provide reassurance to our clients when they're coming in to be able to express that sexuality and not be judged for it and instead also, though, for them not to be seen as sexual objects and for women to be seen as sexual beings just like them, and we're working towards having nudity and sexuality not be such a taboo topic. We're very open talking about sexuality was our children that's something we wish more people would do in their households with their families and their kids to make it a more common conversation, and then the sex talk would take place without question, and maybe we wouldn't have such a difficult time addressing rape culture, so for us, we're trying to fight the good fight here and bring our message through in yuen's work so it isn't just the expression of sexuality that we're fighting for a swell we fight for all sorry isn't just female sexuality that we're fighting for repenting for all types of sexuality to be expressed were huge supporters of the lgbtq community, and recently we had articles in huffingtonpost, cosmo, buzzfeed and it just kind of went viral from there, and this is the article here that went around, and if you read the articles, you'll hear us talking about our why about our message about why we shoot the way we do and how we're trying to change the way people approach their sexuality and see sexuality? I'm going to have to read this off my phone because our hotel didn't have a printer, I apologize, but I'm going to show you just how much this is a life changing experience, how much you two are can be a life changing experience for your clients. I'm going to read a letter from kyla she was twenty five when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She came in a few years later to do a shoot with us and had been in remission and she sent us this letter right afterwards right after her shoe and I'm not reading this is ah, look how awesome we are that she loved her photos I'm reading this thinks I really want you to listen to her words about how this isn't just a photo shoot this is helping somebody look inside of themselves helping them find that sexuality and for you to see how much weight is in our hands. So this is kyle's letter being physically sick is one thing still unbelievable at twenty five but I can do that there was no other option in my mind for me, but no one prepared me for the shrapnel mental illness is a whole other battlefield in this battle was like showing up with a bow and arrow to a gunfight I'm talking stereotypes of depression somedays I literally could not get a bit out of bed other days I cried no sobbed uncontrollably I was less than a dream to live with because I was unpredictable and it was unpredictable would make me angry or emotional feelings that are so intense that they could only be understood by someone who's been through it. So when I finally decided to do this boudoir shoot let's just say I was less than mentally committed or maybe I should have been committed excuse me nudity I can hardly scant stand to fix my hair in the morning and I can't even stand to look at myself that long in the mirror and that's with clothes on so boys sure let's go take some nude photos of ourselves later we'll have a bonfire I know that sounds extreme, but it wasn't at the time you see, I have wanted to do but to our shoot for many years, some of those years I was held back by other people's beliefs, part of another life. Now the majority of those years by fear now at the pinnacle of my depression, I took the first step in sandton and corey just a harmless enquiry to see what it's all about for myself, I think I needed to reach the deepest part of my depression in order to conjure up a way to get myself out. I realized that at that point my life was dictated by fear and insecurities, so my thought was if I could tackle one of my biggest fears, I would build the confidence to know that everything else going forward would be peanuts in comparison, it would be my beginning to recovery. Realistically, I knew that there was no downside and no follow. If it didn't go well, I could always opt out, leave and go back home to my norm. But I was sick of that this journey would never have aligned the way it did if I didn't give credit to the love of my life. I am lucky enough to share my life with the most self listen unrelenting person there are very few people in anyone's lives who would put their life on hold voluntarily to be there when you're irrationally upset. Self hating and far too acquainted with the bathroom floor than anyone should be the puffy eyes and henceforth no makeup days the inexplicable meltdowns, the excuses, stubbornness and altogether immature bratty and self absorbed behavior all the stories of massages in the world could not make up for what I put him through but he never asked for a story he simply asked that I not give up on the hope of getting better and try to be just a little bit kinder to myself and I was yesterday not kinder to him but to myself all of this is to say I did it and it wasn't even that bad in fact it wasn't even close to bad it was one of the most empowering things I have ever done and I truly hope to do this again and again it's not that I'm all better and just love everything about myself but this is a large step in getting me there I can applaud myself for doing it and it allowed me to see me see myself from someone else's perspective to be honest when I was looking for my gallery I didn't even recognize myself literally I actually had a moment where I paused on the photo not knowing it was mine and thought huh? That almost looks like me but she's far too pretty and confident to be me that's when I emailed you brianna and said I couldn't find my gallery true story she did, she didn't even recognize yourself in the photo yourself in you and exude a balance of professionalism and relatability, and she just goes on to thank us a little bit more personally so that the reason that I want you to take that lead to take that email, take that message and take its story so close to her is boudoir isn't just a way to make money, obviously it's a lucrative business, but we want you to take and do something so much more with it and see the power that you can give your clients on the message behind what you're doing. Um so this is an eames chair, this my favorite chair of all time pariente so she's going to buy it for my fortieth, but the only way that's happening is if our cats died before then because they ruin everything and I hate our cats. So my favorite designers are ray and charles eames, their american designers there probably one of the most influential designers, it's, hard to go into a home in america and nazi their influence even in the airport. Here in seattle, all the banks of leather seats with metal are designed by teams. S o they were a big they're actually a big influence for me because of the way they approach design they see designed as a problem that needs to be fixed they want to find the simplest solution to do that so they need to design a chair with the simplest way we can do that what how can we do that so for me that's what boudoir became boudoir was a problem for me it was too how do I shoot something sexy without being cheesy um and that was a problem that needed to be solved so that I could actually shoot it and love doing it so the question sort of became the answer but where is the illusion of sexy sexy is the illusion of sex so I just took out the middle man on dh shot raw sexuality now I'm not saying a shoot porn at all I know some people would love to call it that but if you actually break down the posing and everything there is nothing about our work that is pornographic um it's a very different thing we actually refuse clients we have clients that write to us and ask us to do penetration shots we have clients ask and say what happens if we start having secretary in a couple shoot it would actually be impossible for them to have sex during the couple shoots it's like acrobatics the positions I put them in but or they'll even ask, will we leave after so they can have sex after the shoot, which is always weird to me because that's our furniture and like why do we want that stuff all over our furniture? So we do not shoot that none of that will do we turn clients away all the time because of that? But I'm also not trying to just shoot something that looks sexy I want the viewer to think about sex I want the viewer to be invited into it um so what I'm trying to do is constantly push myself and push myself out of my own comfort zone now my comfort zone is very large now, obviously, but when I started it wasn't I can remember the first bridge where should I ever did so myself with sweat very uncomfortable weigh hardly showed any butt shots in the beginning because we thought people would call it porn now if you go look at our work probably every shoot has nudes in it, so for everybody their comfort zone is different when they start but it's always about just pushing yourself a little bit more a little bit more and there's times that I even go over what I think my line is and then say, okay, well, I have a new line, but I'd rather do that than just sort of sit comfortable and get bored and complacent because we do about one hundred troops a year and that's a lot of shoots to dio especially all in the same place um and even for you know like I said our company is very much bigger and you look at our work now and it's much different than when we first started even for this creative clive told me that I had to have uh pg photos for the slide show and it was very difficult to come up with enough photos that I could show there were pg um so yeah, but we're also trying to ask ourselves by pushing myself we're also asking ourselves what are we trying to say in that photo what I was trying to suggest with our hands being there what are we trying to suggest where her eyes were looking what we try to suggest in this position what are we trying to suggest? Um even if they have clothes on with couple shoots it's what am I trying to suggest in the position that there and I'm always just trying to get people to think about sex because woman in launch ray that's sexy on its own but it's also they could just be wearing a bathing suit so you have to go go sort of push yourself be on that mentality of just because she's wearing lingerie that equal sexy because it doesn't always sometimes it could be very cheesy especially depending what the lottery is um we're also trying to invite the viewer in with our work. We want them to feel like they're seeing something they shouldn't they want the fact that we get a lot of requests and questions about being able to have sex during couple shoots makes people wonder, are they seeing something that they can't, that we're not showing, are the shots that only privately they see, and we want that we want our viewers to be sort of borderline uncomfortable with looking at at work. We want them to become confronted with that question that's, part of our theme, talking about our wire, lear before of we want them to be asked, why are you uncomfortable with sexuality and nudity? Um, and like we said before, he love us or hate us, just don't call my work pretty ever.