Bulletproof Sex Lecture
Speaking of getting some question for you, would you all of these have in common napoleon hill? You guys know that is the author of a book called think and grow rich going back fifty years seventy or so years? I think it was, uh, andrew carnegie payed deploying hill to go out and study the most successful people tto find what they did that made them successful in his book think and grow rich is probably the first modern book in a personal development and it's still a book that is well worth reading if you've never read it you owe it to yourself to do it is I believe out of copyright too martial artists do this neuroscientists, entrepreneurs, buddhists and hindus people falling into tantra practices chinese medicine, mystics, eastern practices and gandhi anyone wanna hazard a guess as to what they all have incoming? You know the answer e that is true they also breathe all of these various either people or disciplines or practices have noticed that sex has an impact on their performance ...
out of the bedroom and that's what we're going to talk about here in fact, there's an entire chapter in the first ever a personal development book about especially for men how controlling and harnessing this primal impulse can lead to enormous improvements in amount of energy you have in the amount of power being a bio hacker I decided that it be interesting to understand if these people were all totally nuts, so I tested it, so I looked at the tantric practices. People don't usually know this, but the practice of tantra is not about some kind of sex thing. Specifically, it was about immortality. This was a group of people thousands of thousands of years ago wanted to live forever didn't really have access to all the bio hacking, anti aging hormones and mass spectrometers and things that we play with now. So they thought about what can we do to control this? They looked at it over multiple generations, and they develop practices around conserving energy, so I decided I would track something that the ten trick people write very specifically about that napoleon hill writes about and look at frequency of male ejaculation and frequency of intercourse. This is the equation straight out of old ten trick books. You take your age in years minus seven and you divide by four this is on ly for men. If you're a woman, this lecture is not for you, other than the fact that you may have a man in your life that you want to share this with, because the frequency of your orgasms is different than it should be for men, so for a man to run this equation, that is the minimum number of days that should happen between ejaculation sze so if you're o say nineteen nineteen minus seven is twelve divide by four it's like every two or three days have a good time, but if you're forty that means like once a week every eight days you should ejaculated or go even longer but eight days there that's to conserve your health and your energy at the levels you have now and the teaching here is that you'll deplete your energy if you do it more often than that which sounds like a terrible thing that's won't even write something like that, but I had to test it because hey and then they get worse and they said, oh no really if you want to live a long time you should only ejaculate once every thirty days and wow, that seems a little insane to be proof ganis but I'm a bio hacker you have to test these things to disprove them and then I got over the top this's also in the teachings napoleon hill did not write about this but neuroscientists have studied this in uh m r I machines looking at what happens inside the brain during orgasm in both sexes and the ten trick writings say that I don't have an orgasm for more than thirty minutes then give me three minutes of sex they mean orgasm which is a strange idea so what I did is I decided I would follow the recommended guidance I did not use heart rate variability with us, although I wish I did historically, but I wasn't as into that bio hacking signal as I am now, what I did is exactly the same thing that terry walls talked about, the same thing you heard about from jeff, about observing your wellness, and each day during this experiment, which lasted for quite a while, was I look at my level of satisfaction of my relationship, my job satisfaction, the amount of energy I had, basically a number from one to ten of how my doing one means I'm having a really bad day five means bad average and ten means wow, life is really good, and I would just track this on a daily basis in track, a few other things, get the data and disprove these horrible every thirty days sorts of things. The first test was all right, I'll have a cz much sex as I want, but I'm not going to ejaculated, and I'll tests eight days less than eight days more than eight days, which is my number, and then the other test was, um, limit both, so basically do it less here's kind of what I learned for me eight days was the number and here's the data the red bars are fitted to the curb so you can see whether they're pointing up which means my happiness is getting higher or pointing down which means my happiness is lower that's my daily perceived happiness number the blue is frequency of sex and here's a really important thing for you guys who are looking at this you'll notice that for most of these periods there's less in the morning or write less in the beginning of the week or the period and more towards the end less mohr usually less more finding number one when you have fewer ejaculation sze yu will have more sex and if you're like most guys that makes you happy and it's more likely to make your partner happy too so this is not something that I would have expected but in retrospect it makes sense the other finding is that it's not easy to always stick to those rules number one eight days is a very, very long time. I also found out that my happiness actually does go up when I have more sacks which ought to be relatively obvious except just cause it's obvious doesn't mean it's true there's lots of things that are obvious like oh eat more calories and you'll get fat even though the composition of the calories which is less obvious has a big role to play there, so I can't say absolutely that that was proven but the couple days after ejaculation there is a hangover and it's measurable and it's not something you likely noah's a guy, but the day after you have sex, you're probably getting me more tired and more standoffish and probably if you ask your partner your partner notices that too at least a lot of the people who have seen this talk and seen this day to say, oh yeah, I know about that it's usually women who know about that not the guys I didn't know this existed I'd never heard of it but there is actually a post sex hangover, so then I did the really hard test which was of thirty day test these air not sequential thirty day periods because I don't know how anyone could do that, but the shape of the curve here, the frequency of sex goes up more and more and more the more you go on but my satisfaction with life went from average so like I'm like pretty happy all the time I totally would not have predicted this I would have thought to be the exact opposite, but it was consistent on the three different times when I experimented with that you think you're getting more happy because you know sex is coming, you know that is a great question and we don't know the answer to it could be I'm so happy because I'm like only twenty two more days to go. I'm going to make it right, maybe that's the whole reason I was happy. Uh, the mechanism here, I don't know, but it's interesting that this long list of different practices who didn't know each other at different times in history all said guys live longer and perform better when they practice some sort of limitation of frequency of ejaculation. So this data really did us down because I would not have predicted this. We're using cake, alexis noises, kegel exercises, you know, because this is a family show, I'm not going to go into the details of it. Um, I will tell you that if you don't know how to do yoga breathing, you don't know how to do heart rate variability training, you're gonna have a very hard time achieving this. This was a huge, huge act of will. As a matter of fact, in order to do this, this is only three months of data, but it took six months to get three months of data because the other months I'd start the experiment and experiment would fail. So the funny thing there, too, is that actually taught me something about the power for self deception, because when the experiment would fail, we'll say there's, a little inner dialogue that says there's a really good reason for the experiment to fail right now with extremists out that important, and I would convince myself with absolute certainty at the time that that was the right thing to do, which is why we have a species, because that happens a lot, but what's interesting here, too, is that for one of these experiments, I took that part of the decision process out of the loop. So I figure if my capacity for self deception is so strong that I'm going to decide it's a good idea, even though I know very well that I want to finish the experiment, that I would just say, I'm not going to count days, so I don't exactly know what day it is, and I'll ask my wife to tell me when the day is so I don't know, and then it didn't matter if I tried to self deceive, because then it wasn't in really in my decision anymore, and by taking out of the loop, it was enormously easier to do this. So what I was doing, I was exercising will power for the first two of these where I was using my will power against it, which is on ly finite, you only have so much of it. In the last experiment I took will power out of the equation and I said whenever the day comes but I don't know what day it is so I can't really do anything about it so the willpower effort was gone and it was an easy experiment to complete wouldn't have predicted that either so what I learned is that thirty days is like a year but you can see the upward trend right? I really was happier so then I decided to have a do like a thirty day just like complete abstinence and that is not a actually very much fun to be perfectly honest and there's a gap in the middle because I missed of gathering data on the day I don't remember for what may happen this level was I didn't write it down so I wanted good data um and even hear my numbers were a little bit higher but I don't recommend this when I figured out is that um the tantric equations worked for lack of a better better way of explaining it the every eight days I was one point happier than normal you know, five his average every thirty days was shockingly high and thirty days of no sex really surprised me because that actually my daily happiness even though I didn't like not having sex was higher then it was here which makes me think in answer to your question is it because I wanted to have more sex circus. I knew sex was coming, was that was that? The reason my score was higher? I have no idea what any of this stuff works. I just tested it and thought I would just prove it. And then I was just proven about the mythology methodology here, tripping with yourself when you talk about sex, was this sex without ejaculation or with so sex without ejaculation? The only time that there's ejaculation is if there's a red dot. Okay, thanks for clarifying. Sure, thanks for that. So I'm doing my very best to keep this, you know, family friendly in scientific. The reason that I'm willing to talk about my sex life in front of thousands of people is that, well, gandhi, when he was thirty six, quit having sex entirely because he wanted to save his entry for this, and I was thought that sound, it sounded insane, and I'm certainly not gonna do that. But I did become very aware of the impact of this on my performance, and when I talked with some of the pro athletes that have had a chance to talk with in my work with bulletproof, you talk, especially with coaches it's actually pretty well known, they tell their athletes they're fighters like, don't don't have sex the night before, save your energy, so well, what I found was that, uh, amazing things can happen, including that I don't know about a half hour orgasm for a man that sounds hard to believe I don't even know you a time a half hour orgasm, but you can time in eight and a half minute one uh and I don't recommend it, um because it's not even fun, it's just painful, so we don't number one if you learn howto have less orgasms or to have them that will, you will have more sex, and that generally makes you happy number two, when you do not have, uh, an orgasm all the time or do not exactly all the time. Anyway, it changes your hormones and you become profoundly attractive to members of the opposite sex like head turning attractive way more than normal and it's correlated with frequency of ejaculation. So when I was doing the thirty day things it's, just the weirdest things would happen and literally like people would just come up and approach me in ways that were entirely abnormal for what I'm used to socially. And it was a repeatable thing to the point that one person was like, what are you doing to me? I think, what do you mean, like, you know, stop stalking me kind of thing like, I'm hearing kids here, um but that was it was very noticeable and a few other people when I talked about this first in public, I had a few other people come up after my talk at the quantified self meeting and say that they had experienced the same thing, so this is another interesting bio hacking thing we know so little about our pheromones and how we interact with each other, but something changed it was pretty strange the things to know yoga is pretty good because it makes you aware of these things called the yoga um they're called the gate locks and there's things you can do in your throat and in your stomach muscles and in your pelvis to tighten up muscles and being able to tighten those things gives you phenomenal levels of control, learning how to breathe slowly and actually being able to make this work if you can do hurry variability training, doing an experiment like this becomes much easier, so any questions and then we'll talk about sound waves in the audience too mark it will be now seventy smooth the male side of this, it turns out, and I've asked john gray who's ah weeding relationship author he came and spoke at my aunt aging nonprofit about that specifically and dr sarah gottfried, who just wrote a really good book about hormones and fertility for women she's, a harvard trained gynecologist and a friend um I asked him about this and they both kind of laugh and they said like women shouldn't do this it would cause depression so for women, frequent frequent orgasms equals higher emotional intelligence and general happiness so this actually works nicely in the relationship because you end up having more sex, which means presumably the woman would likely have more orgasms which is going to be a healthy thing for women the way they explain this in the very old writings the tantric writings was that a woman walks away from sex undiminished although the tantric guys have some other word for sex like the flower of carrots I don't even know what they call it but it was not the words next but it was what they meant. So um it's one of those things where do not if your woman try this because it's everyone I know like all the stuff I've read and the research I've done says that you're not goingto end up improving your health or your performance it wouldn't be the right thing to do. I'm not sure it was on monday or another time, but I heard I've heard able james talk about well, I know this is kind of something but he talked about, you know, uh, increasing ejaculation frequency to boost testosterone, so is that something I mean this is this like just something someone can try or I imagine your testosterone would go up from this a cz well yeah uh I have I don't know I don't know that I would recommend the able james method of raising of raising testosterone that way knowing what I know what it does to your mood in your performance like that that hangover I think probably I wouldn't choose that way to raise my hormones I think frequent sex without in fact I know I've seen a study that frequent sex without frequent ejaculation also raises testosterone so there you go valentine online was asking can the reason behind the experiment results be relating to testosterone going down after sexual climax? It's a good theory it absolutely could be I don't know but I also do supplement testosterone on a daily basis ten milligrams of testosterone cream for anti ageing reasons it's bio identical I'd be doing it for ten years I monitor my levels to keep them within normal ranges because I was obese as a kid I don't make a lot of testosterone naturally so I didn't bury my testosterone dosage so I don't think that's true but I couldn't tell you for sure and did you do? Ramona had asked several questions about for women um you just said didn't necessarily recommend this specifically but do you have any research on woman I have a actually I've had to podcasts with nicole daytona scheduled nicole wrote a really good book about women and orgasm and is one of the most experienced researchers. I spent some time with nicole at summit siri's event recently in utah, and I mean, she is read even more of the old text. Then I have about this stuff and is very, very much on top of it. So if essen ery of interest, I refer you to her work it's nicole d e a d o n e spelled like dead one, and she runs a group called one taste, which actually has classes for women about what orgasms do for you and all of that. By the way, this is all, like, in good taste. This has nothing to do with, like, porn or any of that sort of stuff. It's, you know, adults looking at adult, human, adult things, but not in, you know, in a in an unpleasant way, he's picked up on this dave, so apart put it as tactfully as I can, but everyone's basically saying that if you stay sticks, sexually frustrated, that's going to turn them into a start, is that right? I couldn't argue with, uh, pretty much e I've never ever been hit on a cz much as when I did this experiment, it was it was I felt objectified. Way definitely not that so I oh go ahead place so you say you don't do it all the time so do you do it in preparation for something or have you done it since the experiment now that I understand I pretty much stick to about the a d a role and it really took a lot of will power and a lot of work to learn how to do that. And now that I have learned that that part of the nervous system is trainable just like the don't stick your chin out to get it hit if you're a boxer or any of the other types of nervous system training to not freak out so I feel like I have way more control of that part of my wiring and that part of your wiring is there for the reproduction and survival of the species all of the operating system part in your meat is there to keep you alive so it's also keep the species alive. So the thing that made you run away from the tiger and pull away from the hot stove is the same thing that's convincing you now is a really great time to ejaculating she's probably fertile right now in your mind you know, but at the same time that may happen and more than a few children have resulted in fact the continuation of the species is insured by that kind of wiring that doesn't mean you can't be in charge. It just means you have to train the nervous system that you are in charge. This was a struggle, it took like a year, and I learned a lot about myself doing it, and I have mohr power and more energy now than I did before because I have more control. So one thing that correlates with happiness there not only his frequency of sex and things like that, but the amount of control you have over your biology. So instead of being a victim of your nervous system telling you to do something, you can listen to your nervous system telling you to do it, and you can to do the same thing that I do to my dog, merlin, I say, sit, stay, and he'll sit in this day and you can train your nervous system the same way, and that ultimately, is what happened here. They were asking about prostate health and wall street is saying, isn't it? Isn't ejaculation good for your prostate? Is that? Does this have any impact? There are lots of debates online about that there's one group that says yes and there's, another group that says it's not necessary, the where I would fall down is going more than thirty days is probably not good. Probably every two weeks, if you're worried about prostate health, is a good idea. But more frequently than that hasn't been proven in a study that I've seen to to achieve that.