Negativity & Criticism
I will get started with this right away and the first thing I'll be talking about this morning is negativity and criticism and that will be about, um negativity and criticism from ourself first and then from others and how to deal with that and why it could be good so negativity and criticism towards ourselves and from others okay so I'll just have it um okay so I've created this too it's like and a new order that I used to go through with myself with this vicious cycle with myself and I still do it now but not as bad but in the beginning in the first few years of my photography career I am I would go through this over and over and over again so I'm just going to talk about this on how we can deal with that so the first thing is I have the best idea have something in mind I'm going to do it oh my god it's going to be amazing I do this I'm going to do that so this is the first thing we usually have right when we have found that inspiration and uh and now we're ready to try to get it goi...
ng the next thing that happens is you're telling yourself I'm excited to get this started the anticipation begins planning prepping so many ideas that you want to try so your mind is going you're still at it right um then this sorry um you're telling yourself it's going to be amazing everyone's going to love it oh my god it's going to just feel like it's gonna be a viral it on the internet whatever you're sure this will be the most amazing shoot and you're looking really forward to it next thing that happens is you did it you did the shoot you think it went well? It's good everything's fine, you can't wait to get home and start going through the photos you see the photos and you're like I hate this oh my god, what the hell happened? This is not what I thought it would be, right? Because once you start picking through, you start seeing things you're like you start tearing it apart in your head you're like this is horrible! I'm maybe not everyone does this this is something I do and I did it a lot before so here's where we sit and analyze rip it apart get angry why didn't I do this? Why did I do that? Why did I pick that model? My goodness and makeup's bad? Why didn't I shoot from this angle? All of that kind of thing and then you start thinking, I think I should just give it up this is horrible, what am I doing? I'm not a photographer, you know and um it's it's bad enough when you know you might have other people coming in and like verbally telling you like you're not even whatever you know maybe criticizing you it's bad enough because internally artists often um we put ourselves down right? We're always attacking herself so this begins a cycle of negative self talk putting our work down and wanting to give up and say forget it I've wanted to give up many, many, many, many, many, many times like I can't even count I've cried myself to sleep I've just I've looked into taking courses again like it was it was pretty heavy it was pretty bad and I think I'm a little bit of a drama queen maybe in that that way like maybe overdo it, but there there was times like in the first few years where I just I was like, what's the point of this, what am I doing like, what am I doing? You know, I just it was just questioned myself constantly and I don't know something just kept me going and I don't know, maybe it was like up and down thing and the time in between where I could just kind of reflect and think about like, do I really want this is this, you know, and I just I was a confusing ride and it was I think now that I look back, it was something that was necessary because if it didn't happen it, I probably wouldn't have been like wouldn't have gotten to where I am right now, I'm not anywhere near where I want to be, but I am amid a point where now that I look back, I realize how far I've come, so how that can be a good thing, it's actually, good to sit back, critique your own work um, think about what you don't like, how you can improve on the next on it the next time, learn from it and move on and using these experiences to grow. So, um, because I'm I was mostly self taught, I did take a little private lessons like howto use the camera like manual, moved things like that I had to, you know, get some one on one with that, but most of what I've done and learnt in the whole thing is is just teaching myself in experimenting and without those failures and without looking at your work and really analyzing and really, you know, with with, you know, a reality check, you know, you should be in the middle, you should be happy with where you've come. And at the same time really look at your work and think like how could I have made this better next time I need to try this light next time I need to remember to do this and you keep mental notes of those things on dh as you go it helps it just helps you to grow and this is a way I mean it's helped me so even now like even now like I'll post the photo everyone loves it and you in awe but then I'm like uh that's not that good and I still do it I still do it so it doesn't matter like you know as you're seeing your own work it is a healthy thing actually tohave that downtime and to really um you know, pay attention to where you can improve and really you know final sings in yourself because if you don't you won't you won't really progress if you think every ethan you're doing is perfect and you don't go any further so there's always that time of up and down up and down so that's that's how that could be a good thing and so now I will go into talking about getting it from others I'm a little different when it comes to that so negativity and criticism from others um just go to the next one here this is how we encounter things and how to deal with that as well, so we can't please everyone um first you should understand that if your work is out there publicly, the reality is not everyone is going to like you or your work and sometimes for no reason just because for no reason there's always a reason but it's just because and when I first started, um I started kind of making progress pretty quickly like my work kind of started taken off within the first year and a half for seoul people were liking my work and I was getting it out there and I will talk about that later how to get your work out there but when that was happening, I would get all these like, you know, all this love and all this attention but there would always be this odd one here and there that would come along and be like you're not here you're just this or that and that's not even that great on the wire one's soul on this photo and you know you'd see these comments and soul I would just be all like traumatized from it would say why I really chris I didn't understand it it was so confusing, so it took me a long time don't just down this like, you know, we can't please everyone and as an artist were such sensitive souls I am most of us are some people aren't as bad, probably, but everything kind of just cuts like a knife when you're dealing with this kind of thing so the other thing is they know nothing about you uh this too I had to remember I had to remember this because um I would just sit there and like lay in bed at night and be like I don't understand like I do something that I say something like what why are these people like you know, I would just I would go through these things and I was so confused all the time so ninety nine percent of the people that they don't know you and they've never met you a lot of this comes from online their best in telling you about yourself and about your work you know, I I would get some rude things sent to me sometimes little bit of hate mail bad comments usually just delete and banned them or whatever it was sometimes fight and argue with them but I realized that was pointless and I realized too that most of this wood come from people who were either not even photographers people who I didn't even like I would I would like click on their name or something and I'd look at their portfolio or their website or whatever I mean like how dare they tell me you know about my work like they should worry about their own work and I that's one thing I never did I would never like, go around telling others anything, you're just mind my business, but so I was a little confused with that kind of thing. And so this here is what I had to really start to understand that they don't know me and, you know, they're just lashing out for whatever they have to, and I'll talk about that a cz well, um, success. Sometimes the more successful you get, the more negativity you will face and this is a common thing and it happens with anybody in the public eye, anybody, the more they progress in life, the more attention they're getting. Then the more the negativity will come along. And no matter how much good feedback you get in love, you get this always out. One person that one thing that comes in like, you know, slaps you in your face. Whether it's true or not, sometimes you khun um, look back and think like, well, is that true? You know, it is good to kind of reflect on some things people say and try to fix it if you if you khun really look into yourself but most the time it's just it's just empty silly things that people want to tell you so um you gotta learn to just go past that I'm going to talk all of these things I'm going through him when a goal through them all over again but I'm gonna talk about how to deal with each one of them so um it hurts it hurts I won't pretend it doesn't I've been told things like I'm full of myself I'm stuck up these air coming from no one who has even met me though these air I mean even people locally in my city that these come from to me and we don't even know each other it's just circling online I have low self esteem I think I'm so great I mean I just know how to photo shop um so many other silly ignorant comments and um they've come from strangers people who just like we don't know each other and have never met me but acted as if they knew me and all about me and it's how you deal with it that matters in the end so I just uh yeah talk about that after I just I want I want you guys to understand that just because I'm amanda doesn't mean anything it doesn't you know they're still those other parts of it that come along so insecurities understand this they usually see something in you or your work that they're locking this makes people in secure it's usually a positive trait in you that makes them behave this way. You might remind them of something they don't have or they don't like about themselves and they use you as a target. So this is something that I had to learn on lee as of late, so I it took me a long time to understand this whole thing is like a lot of times when people do this kind of stuff, whether it's family members, it's your friends that don't want to see you progress because you're becoming getting on a different level than they you guys were out together before or just strangers. Like I said, internet people, you know, they are comfortable with people who are on their level when people start to progress, they don't, uh they don't take too well. So a lot of times it's their own insecurities, so confident people, people who are busy and confident in their own work and lives just do not have the time or energy to do this. So if you guys have ever seen tim walker or any live it's going around and chat form sir on people's pages and typing no, they don't have time, they don't care so it's just something to remember that, um, yeah, so the next one is there there's this term called keyboard warriors, and I'm going to read a definition from the urban dictionary I'm just going to read it out that's good restaurant I can read it out from the urban dictionary ok ah person who being unable to express his anger his or her anger through physical violence owning to their physical weakness, lack of bravery and or conviction in real life instead manifests said emotions through the text based medium of the internet usually in the form of aggressive writing that the keyboard warrior would not be able to give from give form into in real life so they're behind a screen and there you know, tough and big and bad but in a real life there has been times I've had to deal with certain people saying things about me or you know they're all like just teaming up and just saying it's just it sounds so silly what it's happened and then we've ended up at the same event and this person would like take off amount is here good bye I'm leaving and it's just so and that we never even met and it was you have experienced things like that and not that I was going to fight with them or anything but it's just what it is people are brave behind the screen and try not to take that too too much to heart when things ever happened if you guys on your found pages or anybody has something to say about your work just remember that and then critique this is a very touchy subject I believe in critique, but I'll explain why when it's not when it's acceptable when it's not it's important I'm not saying it isn't needed, but I do not believe in critique coming from someone from whom you do not look up to or um if you're not even seeking their advice teachers, for example have the right to critique their student it's why I was taking my graphic design studies of course I needed my teacher's feedback because I was learning at the time and they were teaching me my skills, right? I mean, I'm not a graph of designer, but I mean, I ended up in the photography thing because of it but an example I have this is a little quick story I this is just something I can point out, so I did a photo shoot with a girl, one of my little muse models, she was about fifteen years old, I don't shoot nude, I don't I don't know I don't care about that like I don't think I need to show breasts for fashion it's you know, it's a popular thing, but I don't need to do it this girl had on a see through shirt and it was it was like a tight tank top I don't know it's just see through top and, um I was styling the shoot, it was just one of my little creatives and I didn't want her topless and we had to figure something out, so I let her keep her bra on little beige bra I kept it on and we did the shoot the shot and the pulses and people liked it in all this and then I had another girl, another model she was probably around the same age is this girl. They're both fifteen, sixteen years old on dh, and she went off on the photo telling me how you know, this is good and this is even a photographer it's a little teenager, you know, she's a model, this is good, but, you know, I think you should have took the broth because it's, just hurting the whole look and the photo would have been so much stronger and she's just like this big chunk of advice she was giving me and I didn't really get mad, I just thought, I don't know, I just was like, what is this girl talking about? Like, I even care, you know, like, it sounds so rude that I'm saying it that way, but I wrote responded to her, I'm like where he was stylist I don't understand, like, have you shot this kind of, you know, fashion work before, and I threw it back at her I just questioned her and she got really defensive she just was like oh just because you have sixty thousand fans on your page you know she just went off and I just bounder and this is what it is people they're looking for little hole sometimes just to come at you and even the fact that she was young it doesn't matter I've had older people it does not matter about age gender it doesn't matter so it just comes along and then you know, maybe two years ago I would have probably like started trusting it's where telling her where to go but I just kind of responded differently I'm like I don't understand like you're you you know, do you style or something is and I just let her know like I'm really I wasn't looking for your you know, advice on how to put the shoot together and I'm not gonna have the girl topless and my photo she's a fifteen year old so anyway, so things like that happen and it's just how you deal with it maybe ask you a question about what about professional create negativity like coming from the clients that you're working with or the people you're working for? Do you ever experience that? How is that different from other clients? Yeah yeah well it's if it's paid work um if there's a creative director if if it's like no, sam doing a salon shooting canada. I don't know how you guys have it here, but we have a lot of hair competitions once you're so I work with a lot of salons when it's my client with my salon itself, the hairdressers and they they need something changing stuff that's different because that's a client and they need something in a specific way they have to showcase the hair or if it's a designer and they have tto focus, you know, on something of the clothing that's okay, I don't mind that what the only thing I like what I mean with the critique is just random critiqued coming along and telling me how I should have styled something or I don't I really I don't know, I just think it's very unnecessary. I think people need to really worry more about their own corner when it comes to stuff like that, right? And when you see critique, I do seek it out. I do ask certain photographers who I had look up to when people come I will never, never, never tell anyone anything about their photos unless they really want my opinion and they asked and even then you need to be kind about it and not harsh. The thing with critique is it's not to hurt people, but a lot of people distort that they twist it around and they think they can just tell you whatever they want but critique is not that is to help you improve and point out little things but in a positive way so I love them do you mind if I take it like I just love to ask? Like I kind of feel like we're getting to a point yeah, how do you guys feel about this? Is this something that you do? You feel like you've experienced some or all of these? Do you have any thoughts of our maybe stories of times that you have experienced something like this? Anybody willing to share? You know, I'm fairly new to photography, so I put my work out there and mine was really for kind of showing my students, you know, that if you really put your mind to something that you can work toward a goal with the discipline that we teach him martial arts. So I put my work and I said, I don't know, I mean, you may not like it or not, but this is my progress and your photography, yes, photography and, you know, I've found some great mentors people to help me out, but I find that a lot of photographers always will go and go well, your lights or not right here should be this and that, and I'm gonna get you in view so then I go to someone who's a really good photographer and I go what do you think? And and usually they give him I'll say that there was a spot on, you know like okay, well, you know what I got ignore those comments because I'm working to be in a creative artist anyway, and I'm going to break some of the rules, so I just need to let that go anybody else? Uh, food every once in a while, some people will attack my photoshopping skills and, um, like, I'll post a before and after and some people will be like, I like the one before because it's too hot in this place or you did too much in this place, but what they don't understand also is that I'm not going for realism. I'm a surreal, fine art photographer I want things to look dreaming alien and you know, they're sometimes not in the right place they're thinking of photography and maybe a classical portrait sense, and then they're playing the rigid rules. Yeah, exactly and, you know, I'm not following any rules here no, um that's it something where you need to recognize your intent, I think of what you're trying to do with an image, I want to think angela boarding who is being honest in the chat room she said. I remember when amanda first came into the limelight and being jealous of how she seemed to come out of nowhere and be so successful. And yet, I bet that if we asked her not to know where, we're not in any way, feel that it was coming out of nowhere. It was a lot of hard work. And so I think, that's. What one things that really ads into this is a lot of not having perspective of what that person is doing, and I'm not. I'm not judging, angela. I think that's, something that is very common. A lot of us see that we see when someone makes it, and not what it took to get there.