Empower Yourself and Energize Your Business
When I say this is a conversation I had with my friends this is in one of my highest values seats I didn't realize this until I did my highest value someone to teach you how to do that I feel like the spend or the length of my career has bean the biggest personal growth that I've ever experienced but then I've seen in this industry for twenty four years so I've had time to grow up within it so I'm going to show you the points off where I got stuck of where I see others getting stuck off what makes it incredible to be part of what sucks what you hate, what you have to region right every day, what you have to climb out of struggle against fight with what you run with and what is easy I'm going to take you through that and I'm going to do it and as fast as I can because I've got lots to say I've been a portrait photographer for twenty four years and that means I'd sustained an income for over half of my life I'm doing something now robert green when he wrote mastery he said masters are in...
credibly passionate and emotional people passionate and emotional people just love to do things and when they love to do something they do it all the time I am very passionate and I'm very emotional so I guess part of mastering my add in my skill was the fact that I just loved it so much that even when it died I couldn't stop doing it so I've been in business through to financial crisis that tell old I am I love that synonyms emergency disaster catastrophe in clementi it is but I lend that even when the money goes away it never falls away entirely it just changes power and it shifts in my business survive both times I survived both times and I feel like I learned something really great every time that happened so when people say it's the economy I say you're lying that's alive told yourself so you have the shift but you know I work under that rule that you know who's swimming naked when the tide goes out and both times I wass fully clothed and prepared each time I don't quite know how but I know that my sheer will got me through it every single time I have survived even when my entire genre died so you can't you graham a photography anymore I didn't want to shoot babies I didn't want to shoot with things what was they're going to do? I was going to evolve because I'm still here still shooting glamour even when I was told for teen years that I could do it so I don't believe you if you tell me you're out of fashion, I believe you just need to reinvent herself I've seen every technology change in twenty four and a half years, including film to digital, which was devastating and also including manual retouching too photo shop trial, the first vision of father's shop I went back to a room full of artists I see down where it's never going to take on total crab because I had a lot of foresight, so but I'm still here a kate marketing changes that changes every year social media changes new technology, but I'm still here how is it that I'm still here? And I guess at the end of the day I like and being a glamour photographer to being a cockroach I was going to survive pretty much anything because there's one certainty in my life and that is that there's three billion women on this world and most of them want to have a beautiful photograph of themselves and I did understand one thing that aside from my skill set in my ability to create a business when I'm in a room with a woman and a camera, I'm going to take the best photographs she's ever seen of herself, okay, I got goose bumps when I sit there because my cells believe it okay there is in a cell in my body that doesn't believe it, I know what I do, I know why I do it so today I want you to find yours and I want to just show you why and how business is really it's a science you build a brand and then you create and sustain an income ok in the end your product and service is probably one of the most important things because that's what you do and how much you cost the next thing you work on is your gold sitting you know how much money do you wantto make and how much work do you want? Okay this is the basic principle for creating a business then identify your client base qualify your client in a track people with money I hear this all of the time okay? And the's dips all our fundamental and creating a business communicate this effectively to your target market uh but a diet is science isn't it it's such a basic science twelve hundred calories a day lose this much weight but it's just not that easy is it and if it wass we wouldn't have an obesity epidemic and I wouldn't have spent fifteen years of my life away this is more than race my average and build a client base okay this is so much more and I understand now because every change in every growth that I've experienced in twenty four years has been about me it has have bean about film it hasn't been about the economy it hasn't been about the industry it hasn't been about which camera I use where I'm located where I'm situated or how much my eight by team is every single part of my business my growth in my evolution has come down to super rise just like it's going to come down to you right now but you know that I am not that area theory knowing more tangible than that so I'll tell you why everything you are in this moment in everything you have is because of what you believed about yourself I know the truth of that because I came from nothing I can't say that without feeling it in my body you know? You know I'm not a rich wife yet you know know that you know that and you know, to all the rich wives out there that just went the truth is is it's not about being a rich wife you know how have ahead the wig to become what I've become so you know the truth of it is from my core get your businesses operating in direct proportion to your self belief and your southworth right now I'm going to challenge that in the next hour if you don't believe that to be true, I'll tell you stories that make it true and I'll tell you stories that make it incredibly obvious that you can change it I operate now from the knowledge not from the belief or the idea but from the knowledge that it's not what I say or do but it's how I feel and act it is the fate with which I dwell it is the state with which I work it is a state with which I work that attracts my client base and I'm going to pray that my first insight and to help us works came in the first three months of my business I never became self employed until two thousand three I have been unemployed portrait photographer for that fierce fourteen years you have no responsibility as an employee other than showing up for your bass we're going to talk about that my first insight was to learn how to make goals for work, not money because the first thing you do is a business owner is you try to make money okay? You don't try to get clients you spend more time trying to get paid then you do trying to get work and as soon as you try to get work you then start looking for people not for dollars because when you're looking for dollars it doesn't work you're twenty two tracks something to you for nothing. So this was my first insight into the fact that I could refocus what I wanted and attract this incredible abundance into my business you see an employee can complain still waste time and lie and this is the best part about being an employee for fourteen years I became a boss and then became an employer I found out that my six staff was spending an hour on facebook after lunch they were getting him roughly twenty dollars now time six every day five days a week at that hour and then when you start to resent your employees you start to realize when you were an employee how much you stole wasted time and light because the truth is is there is nobody to blame when you're self employed because you realize that when you are employed you blamed your boss you blamed your workmates and then all of the seven you're a time on your own with a photography business struggling to make it work and you're going to blame everybody but yourself because when you're that employee you know the backstops with the person who pays you it's their fault stever yours right I consider myself a good employee I was employed for fourteen years by the same people I work very hard I was a workaholic for the um I'm a workaholic now but nothing prepared me for being self employed I guess what I had to do was reconnect myself I evolved my brand constantly and reinvent myself and I struggled yes multiple times some days I still struggle now but I never never never quit and I put it down to when I became self employed I took responsibility for how much money I was making I take full responsibility for my income I do not blame anything outside of myself if I'm not making money I'm doing something wrong if I bum in a sale after a shoot I did something wrong ok yes every now and then you'll get a challenging client but I handled it wrong it's my life it's my business it's my income and it directly directly reflects how I just did my work okay I take one hundred percent responsibility for that so when I look over the span of my career comes down to this at first I had a job I was a portrait photographer I went to my job as I grew into my twenties I thought I'm a photographer I could actually have a career and I realized that I could be important in my job I could be called something I could become athena photographer in my studio I could be important I could own my own studio I could have a career of this I then became a business owner and my job went from a job to a career to a business but it was only after I was in business for about four years that I now work through my purpose which is what I want to do it every single day that is my purpose okay that is what I create from now is my purpose so I guess the biggest question you have to ask every single person sitting here is what do you want it's impossible to see the course if you do not know the answer to that question okay, what work do you really want and are you on the right path to get it right now? Because if the answer to that question is no you're not on the right path you're misaligned already but what if I don't know what I want because everybody says the same thing what if I don't know what I want and that is the biggest lie you will ever tell yourself in everybody around you because even four years ago I could not speak to a room of people not little owner thousand people in one room or tens of thousands of people on the internet I could not speak to a room full of people I was that idiot that stood up at a whip shop when they said introduce yourself that went hot red flushed lost my memory inside something stupid like hi my name's sue and I'm an alcoholic I was always that person in the group and yet and yet there was this part of me that used to imagine that I was standing on a stage with a microphone sharing what I knew and sharing what I talked to all of my friends about and yet it was so far removed from what I was doing and how I was doing it that I could not see how I was going to make it happen so you've got two choices here you need to own it, you need to own the path that you're walking on and you need to own it with enthusiasm and say this is what I'm creating right now and this is what I want and you don't need to see outside validation I didn't ask you to go home and ask your partner or your friends or your family what you want I asked you to tell me what you want and then you say it and you stop doing it okay? Because the truth is is until you sit this course you're on a road to nowhere and it's time that you start earning what you really want in an order for you to understand what you really want, you need to be able to answer that question and you know what? The truth is this I think everybody knows what they want they're just too scared to say it I don't believe they can have it or they don't know how to get it. I didn't ask you to be reasonable. I didn't ask you to say it in a way that it was going to make other people comfortable. I didn't ask you to justify how much money you were entitled to make I didn't ask you to feel guilty about what you're going to get in because maybe some of your family members won't be happy about it I didn't ask you to justify or validate yourself. I asked you to tell me what it is you want and it is human nature, tow want and desire something bigger than ourselves now before this is a stand in conquer the truth is there's mice people just want to get paid most people just want to be acknowledged. Most people just want life to be easy for them, but the truth is this you have a dream and you have a goal and you need to create it right now. So I guess my biggest sort of momentous shift came when I built my first business in two thousand four, and all of a sudden I was sustaining nearly twenty thousand dollars a week and income, so I had jumped very quickly from the projection of making four to six thousand dollars a week to now looking for work, not money. So now I was looking for twelve shoots per week and I was getting those twelve shoots and they spinning an average of eight hundred dollars. So all of a seven hour studios gone up to making huge money and in order to sustain it, it was going to kill me. Now I never asked to die in the first two years of my business, so I asked to make money and next minute I'm tuning over called this, making a lot of money and I'm not managing it very well, I'm working fifteen hours a day, I'm not dealing with it and here power, every part of me wanted to just fold it in and kill it because but I couldn't because I built this huge thing, and then I realized the biggest thing to do in that moment is to change a cake was hell when you're making twenty thousand dollars a week that you predicted and work so hard towards do you go home and tell the people who supported you validated jew and told you you could do it, that you don't want to do it anymore, and all of a sudden, everybody in your family and life becomes this huge nay sayer to your success and your new road it once is, we can't do that, and they tell you why, but the problem is, is I never asked you to go home and ask those people for permission to do that. I if I want to change something now, I just change it. I can spend on a penny, I don't need to justify it to these people. Maybe the problem is that you're justifying it to those people because you were the ones that ask them for the permission in the first place. So when you were fledgling and you couldn't create something and you were like, please just tell me I'm good enough to create this, and they said, you can create this and then you build it and then you want to change something, and then they tell you, you can't change because they were the ones that were holding you up, and I realize now I no longer need any of those people to validate me and what I do, okay, I didn't actually need anybody to validate me but me and when you stopped looking for validation, everything in your world changes, I realized in the second year of my business that I hided going toe like I hated what I was doing. Now when you hate what you do, it is the state with which you dwell, you start putting hate into what you do, imagine hating your spouse how many nights you're going to go home hating your spells before that's going to come back at you. Okay, so when you hate your job and you hate your life, how long do you think that's going to take before it starts shooting you? How long do you think it's going to take before it starts to be illness or physical pain? How long before tens into something else and need everybody does it? It won't get stuck in this disease and before we know it, we create a situation that will change us because we just can't do it on their own and sometimes those situations they're so big and the change is so profound in shocking and it will be the greatest blessing that was ever given to you and you didn't need to go through that I believe most people are just uninspired I believe they're uninspired and that simply means board you're completely bored with what you're doing how can you create anything from a state of boredom? This is one of my favorite quotes the top quote has been around for years theocracies it two lovers indifference everybody thinks the opposite to love his hate if somebody loves you and then you break up with them and they hate you they haven't stopped loving you they're angry loving you hate is angry love height is the same power is love it's just angry because when somebody doesn't love you anymore there any different to you they don't even care they hear your name and they get no hurry ction b of a fallen out of love with someone and you see them and you react to them and you still hold something to their energy but when you're indifferent towards them you feel nothing and indifference is far more painful and hate so tim fear is put it in this quote and added the opposite the happiness is boredom and it's so true as a creative if you're passionate and filled with love and inspired to master something how could you possibly operate from a place of boredom? How could you possibly create anything? One of the hardest things to do is acknowledge what you love to do so that you can walk towards it every day. So I always tell people to ride a hate list. The height list is the best list you can write. This is what I wrote in my darkest hour I sat down with a piece of paper and I wrote, I hate doing this I hate selling my own work I hate retouching my images I hate and I wrote everything I hated doing tens out. That was ninety seven percent of my day. How was I ever going to create anything if I highlighted ninety seven percent of my day? I loved going to lunch on I love taking photographs. Okay, so the biggest trip that you'll fall into right in that moment when you look at that hate list is you will find so much of what you're doing you hate and then the answer to your next question is but I cannot afford to outsource it. Then I thought to myself at the time I wrote the hate list, I had about three dollars, fifty in my bank account. I remember thinking what if I only did things on my love list and I just found a way to get the other stuff down. What if I just tried it so I wrote things I love to do and the crazy thing is is within twelve months my whole life shifted into ninety seven percent off the things on my love list was what I was doing I was already at rock bottom so I was losing nothing I was hating my life and my job in my work so I lost nothing what do you honestly think is going to happen to you like really in that moment what do you honestly think is going to happen and really, really changed where I went that hate list how do you stay enthusiastic and when you hate what you do and how do you give service when you hate what you do okay my highest values I follow john demartini he does a free download on his website called what do your highest values it's a free pdf you fill up there and he asked basic questions like when you stand in your lounge what's the first thing you see ok, I have a team c the couch it's a couch that goes all the way around the room has nothing in the center just ten states and then it says now look to your living space what do you say I have a tin seated table in my apartment why would I have a teen seated table? Because I love nothing more than to have people at my table breakfast, lunch and tea I like to eat with people and I love to talk to them the most empowering, inspiring conversations your hair are over breakfast, lunch and dinner over food and I love to eat not gonna lie and I love to dine out don cook uh, when I looked to the right of my living space, I have a backdrop hanging in my lounge, ready to take photographs with a tripod amman a part in all of my camera equipment because my job is in my top five values, so my top five values are communicating, creating anything new marketing ideas, businesses, you know, just new thought self growth, taking photographs of women right? And building my brand those in my top five life priorities I don't have children number six would be husband children don't come upon my belly list. Those are my top values and whatever you do, as long as you're working through your top values, you're going to do successfully one of my girlfriends has had two children she's put on not the weight, she said to me, look off it I am I said, it doesn't matter you just had babies just get back into it his life he says but I can't work out I can't go to the gym I can't I can't walk I try every day to go and work out the kids always need me life needs may bubba blah I'm last time last on last so I thought about her value see it and I said your highest value right now your two babies how much they need you and how much you need them so you're only going to achieve anything in life if you go through that value because what do you mean I said well you are only going to eat the size if it involves your children and she goes oh sorry said instead of trying to leave them to go on exercise why don't you buy everybody bikes when you buy a bike that has two baby carriages or one of those little things she told then you can write up the hill tell your children why don't you buy scooters and make them school where you walk? Why don't you take them to the pack every day whether you buy one of those pushed years that you can man with why don't you and I started to give her all of these options on how she could exercise through her highest value because anything you do that has anything to do with the top five things you love you're going to get down it's that simple so until you learn what those values are and so when you look around in your lounge when you look in your living space when you look at your work space when you look at what at the top five things one of the top five things she spend money on, all right dining out, communicating with people connecting, what with the last five things you bought okay, you need to think about what those things are, those are the things you're doing every day, you cannot create a business, a career, a purpose in a life from something you hope to do. Okay? When I wrote my top five values, I didn't quite understand that they meant what's in your life now, not what do you hope your life to be? Because I wrote going in the gym every day I buy the gym membership don't go tried paying for the personal trainer two hundred bucks a week, you know? I still didn't help me didn't keep me motivated didn't make me enjoy it, but what I enjoy doing is walking. So now I realize that in order to exercise, I have the walk, but I cannot walk for no reason because I would rather be working because walking comes about seventh or my value list, so the only way I can walk is if I'm going to pick something up, so I walked to office depot on a monday I walked to the ups store five blocks that way past the five that I could go to because I can walk for an hour I walked to my favorite cafe I walked to my favorite here dresser and I realized that in order to get anything done, I actually have to push it away to make myself do it the room, what I love to do otherwise it doesn't get done okay, so all of a sudden I'm walking I'm loving what I'm doing I'm creating this life and I billy remember what it used to be like to hate what I was doing every single day I'm very prolific on facebook and on my block I've built a large following on both over the last eighteen months from nothing two teams of thousands I do not need to make myself do that it is in my highest value when you walk out I have an ipad, a twelve inch by meg and a mexican tenant met pro sitting on that table in which is in my lounge it is a matter of where I want to sit to write my blog's okay, so all I'm doing is ham missing what I'm already good at all I'm doing is hamas saying what? But I wasn't doing that I wass not doing any of that until I learn what their wass you know, it seems nebulous, but you're going to go home and look at what you're buying what you're seeing what you're doing every day and it's going to blow your way but one of the most incredible things you're going to be surprised by is what is the conversation you have every single day what conversation repeats in your life every day and you know what it is do you know what conversation repeats in my life every day this one what excites here what he doing what you do with your life what do you want to be where you going what are you building what are you creating are you growing where you stuck who are you what do you want? How you making money what do you creating mixed these are the christians I asked people do you know why they're my highest value I want to have this conversation every single day with every person I made tell me about it I'm so intrigued what do you do what do you do why when do you do it how do you do that oh I could think of fifteen ideas that you could make that bigger you could make that thinking you could make that amazing you could do it like this or you could make money from it so you could do that online or you could create a business out of that this is a conversation I have with random strangers the girl at nordstrom you know that I bought this dress from helen have you been here what do you really do know what do you do that you don't do that anymore? You don't think you can do that you don't want to do that every day you come here oh and you know I want to have that conversation with my hairdresser with random strangers with people who served me with waiters with waitresses I wanna have that what is the conversation you're having every day is it part of your business? Are you making it part of your work because the second you make the things that you do every day part of your business you'll just love what you do okay decide what you want you don't have to tell me you don't have to tell the rest of the world but decide what it is that you want that there is that dream that love list I love doing this and I'm going to find a way to get paid because I tell you what I grew up poor and I never looked at other people and when why do they have that and I don't because I was clever even as a little girl I used to look at people and I think how did they get there how did they learn that and how do I do it? Can I learn that can I do there yeah because I'm cliff I can do anything and and how that they buy that house and how did they build that business and how did they design that logo? But you I can do it because I never ever had the limit off being bitter towards anybody else for having something that I didn't have or like ever head was a desire to go on make it myself when I can't afford that dress make it when I can afford that make it when I can't but make it my parents are builders, they make things, I'm a creator, I grew up like they're I've watched my mother so dresses my whole life my mother made every dress of my life until I was ten years old and I made her buy me a birthday dress for my eighteenth birthday it was fist dress I evil war that she did not make and I was beautifully dressed as a kid because my mother would so and so and so my mother would make when she had nothing if she worked in a fabric store so she'd get cut away should make a skit the day I wore my dress my teeth birthday I remember what it looked like it was ten corduroy with a lace it's I'm frill around the bottom this kid stood on the frill when I was sitting on the met let's go and ripped the thrill off and my mother was like see they would have never happened to one of my you know stop for one minute and just decide that everything you tell yourself you can't have everything you believe you can't have everything that is getting in your way every nay sayer if we know every limit that you put on money on choices on life everything right now in this moment doesn't exist does it because the energy in this room tells me that your possibility it is endless I don't hear anybody saying but she's wrong because I'm not decide what you want go after it your true path is function let me explain this last year in june one of my workshop thirteen days from l a jamie she called me and she said I've broken up with my fiancee I've got nothing to do with myself right now I want to come to australia and I want to work for you fourteen weeks that's a pretty big ask because I was about to start a team week shooting to her where I was doing workshops in shooting my way around australia but I connected with jamie and I really liked her and I said to her okay, if you fly yourself here I will feed you and put you up in accommodation and you can work for may and spent ten weeks with me and she said yes and she did that she flew over so when she landed jamie wass the quintessential almost in business as a photographer but not quite had the almost website had the almost on folio had the almost price list headed quite found her niche was very attracted to my brand and my educating so she came along we started talking and the first night we had dinner I said to her I don't believe you want to be a photographer and she looked at me and just like it's what I do and I was like yeah now it's not you have doing it and it tells me you don't really want to do it so it will be a function of your business but it's not the form of what you do and she was like ok and I said you hit team weeks to do two things one is tell me what you want and the other one is tell me what your highest values are you've got team weeks to wicked out there's the pdf read it write it down work it out and that will tell me where you really want to go team weeks later jamie and I were talking and she said can I deliver this to you now and I thought yep for thine wigs jamie head being putting may on a diet off juicing he made me buy a juicer which we traveled around with this is what she loves to do this girl just wanted to juice the issue is a photographer traveling through australia with me to discover her drew sprained in the last sixteen months since jamie has left, she's probably done one photo shoot she's flowing to costa rica. She studied sustainable living and do thing every day, twelve hours a day for sixteen months, and she opens her first juice bar in vegas in november this year. She is one of the most talented recipe juices that I have ever experienced, and because of her, I've lost a ridiculous man. But what my point here is this, sometimes you're close something you do might be the function of what you do, but maybe not the form with which is growing into what you need to understand is what do you attracted to him? What are you learning? If you go back to what are the conversations? I'm having one of the conversations I'm drawn to? What is the message I'm hearing? What is the money I'm spending? What is the time and spending you will understand what the form you're going towards is sometimes you can be close, but way off the money for jamie's juice bar just tuned up in her life as she started to go towards it that's how it happens when you start to walk towards what you truly love and want to do, it becomes very, very obvious in all the forms of your life, but she doesn't need to try to be a juicer. She doesn't need to talk herself into it she doesn't need to ask for validation she gets up every single day and makes juicing recipes she comes up with ideas, plans and it consumes here and I am so proud of her because she went from being an almost none photographer to being the owner of a juice bar in sixteen months and I hope heard just stand it becomes an international an international brand because it deserves to I can sustain my portrait business so it doesn't mean that I hated being a portrait photographer I just have to make sure that I am creating communicating, teaching, connecting, marketing storytelling and empowering every day if I'm not doing one of those things I start to wither away and die in phyllis incredible streets I have learned now that I make more money doing these things here then I do retouching so I now outsource my retouching and yet for twenty one years I could not give my retouching to anybody else because I was too good at it and could not hand driver all right so that's a lie you tell yourself so as long as I'm doing what I love to do and as long as I'm working through my values I will be successful doing it right? Craig swanson is the founder of creative blind and craig is one of the content builders for his audience for creative life craig has this incredible skill off knowing intuitively what his audience needs to lynn in here, and he said to me last month that creatives do not see themselves as business owners and I don't I never saw myself as a business owner, I would never go and take a business course in order to learn how to make money from photography. I remember going to a business course and remember thinking they don't know anything about my industry, not that I could lin from knowing about people that know about comments in business, but the truth is is most people here are trying to build a business, but you're not really, are you? You're just trying to get paid doing what you love because let's look at building a business. Ninety five percent of businesses fail in the first five years or do they people start up a business to get paid not to build something bigger than yourself? Because if you are self employed and you take photographs in order to get paid and you stop taking photographs, you stop getting paid that's not a business it's a job all right, that is not a business that's a job and you're the boss, but if you build a business, a business makes money when you're not there. And then a business sustains itself for years to come when you're not even in the room. That's a business, so when you tell me you're trying to build up your business, I don't believe that I believe that you are a creative who's just trying to get paid, doing what they love to do. Look at that paradox, and you hate doing most of it, okay? You hate doing most of it, and you can't get through most of it. So what is the purpose of your business if it's not doing what you love and it's not connecting every day to the purpose of what you do? How can you possibly have a purpose in your business? And I'll tell you why everybody wants financial freedom? Is there anybody in this room who does not want financial freedom? Let's, look at what financial freedom is financial freedom would be owning your own property, which you only pay the maintenance on having a subsidiary income that makes some maintenance money so that you can live and sustain a life. Eight drink and maintain your property, maintain your family so you could put a number on that let's say, I need thirty grand a year to exist, so I need to own the property I'm in and then have some form of income that I'm not having anything to do with it's giving me a subsidiary income of thirty grand a year or twelve twenty year whatever it takes to survive for this many years until the day I die and then hopefully for my children as well that is financial freedom. Most people here are not working towards financial freedom. What you want is just more money you want more money to be a bigger consumer off things in list race, about worrying about what you don't have right now, okay? And that is a fact you simply want more money to have more of the things you want so that you stress liss about the things that you don't have right now and that is so transient and conflict so fast. It's not even funny, I believe that your intent with which you work so working from a place of love and enjoyment, the state of one's mind at the time when one carries out an action is the most important part of what you're doing. In fact, right now I challenged myself every day is the joy in what I'm doing and if there is no joy, I'm questioning why I'm doing it. Why would I create anything from a place of stress, resentment, fear, anger, anger or pressure? Why would I do that? Because it's going to fail it's some part it's going to fail no, I believe this is my personal belief I believe in cosmic ordering I have always believed this I think I was given this belief as a child I don't know how or why but I always believed whatever I wanted was going to manifest in turn up in some way and I could be so distinctive that I could say I want a bouquet of flowers in a bouquet of flowers would turn up within the week my friends and marvel at me they say you are a master creator I say I know okay there it occurred to me one day I'm a master creator in a negative sense a swell everything I have not wanted in my life has also shown up right on cue right as I have not asked for it right when I said oh, I don't want that to happen boom I am a master created and so you so I want you to consider this and my twenty fifth year I put on a hundred pounds in one year it was a bad year I had very um hod experience from myself through this year I know what it wass don't insure it and I found myself almost doubled my body weight um for many years after that maybe let's say fifteen years I dieted failed dieted, failed dieted and failed maybe in the last seven years I slowly you lost a bit away but then I sit and around one mark and wait for a long time halfway halfway back and so while I set there I was telling a friend of mine in new york recently about cosmic ordering I think you can cosmically order anything you can do this you can do that, you can do this, you can do there there is nothing stopping you there are no blocks. There is nothing in your way I was giving the speech that I'm giving right now and he said so why you still fed? Ah, I stopped and I was like, oh, you see, I want this and that's when you have to acknowledge that you're in charge you see I must want this because it's what I have so I guess the christian is how does it serve? May and how does it work for me? Because whatever you have right now whether it's wait deet illness it suits you in some way and until he no longer find your identity in that you don't look up but so I had an epiphany I was walking from that meeting and I realized something the whole time since I was twenty five I was putting in the wrong order because I never win on a diet to lose weight I used to go on a diet to get love you know, when somebody rejects you or hurt you, you wake up in the morning and you think what if I go on a diet and then lose this, you know, one hundred pounds and I'll be good and now and then somebody will love me and then I'll be perfect, but I didn't talk, they wanted to be thin or healthy, I just did it cause I wanted to be loved and accepted, and I could have given myself that at any moment, and so of course I was going to fail. I was putting in the wrong order for a different result, so consider that what you're asking for right now could be just misaligned. What you're really asking for could be wrong, marianne williamson said, when you are hurting over somebody, do you want peace of mind? Do you want in a piece for yourself and that person? Or do you want them to call because we think we want in a pace, but mostly we want them to call and it's not the same result the day I made that decision and I realized that both I own it, my intent and my goal was misaligned from that day I've started losing weight, I don't even it doesn't matter it's just falling off me now I no longer find my identity in it I no longer think if only I was slim again because then I would be perfect and then I would be loved I now give myself love every day I am now aligned toe what it is that I really want and it now no longer exists I don't know how that works but it's simply the truth it's the same with work it's the same with love it's the same with money it is the same with everything you feel believe no create weak with every day because whatever you're holding onto whenever that blockers, whatever that pain is you're the one regenerating it you're the one that gets something from it you're the one doing that a goal is very different from your intention because a goal is something you want in the intent is how you do it. Okay, so the goal off making money is like I would like to make six thousand dollars a week but you're in team is how you dwell in that space and how you created every single day that is where you check yourself every day you can rewrite your gold monthly but until you rewrite urine team to every single wake am I happy doing this? Do I love doing this? Do I love it so much that there's no fear in it love is not something that you think about it is a state with which you dwell you don't think about how much you love something you were just in love with it okay it's a feeling and so when you are work you just feel it it's right? You know it's right when it's right? It just starts to happen it is a state with which you work every single day your mission statement is very important okay it's very important telling others know what your mission statement is but the truth is it's urine teens which you will attract because some people have the best mission statement in the world and they can't attract jack right and other people don't even have one and yet they just seem to attract work to them and therefore income because money is just a byproduct you're not trying to create money you're trying to create work doing what you love to do if you're a single day nothing outside of you is to blame get rid of that notion right now consider that you need to listen to what it is that it you're struggling with right now listen to it and then take ownership of it okay take ownership of it and then take responsibility for it in other words change it I made this I held on to this I created this I re energize this this is my power and then release it and no longer find your identity and your struggle in it all right, things that are going to get in your way really, really quickly life business and love a perfect polarities you know it ok, everything in life as much as you love you will grieve when something is taken away. As much as you love your hurt when it's removed from you everything in life is a perfect polarity and yet we try every day just to be happy. I don't mean every day you must be happy in your job you were going to get fifty percent struggle, but you measure your day by how much pain you get and here's a simple truth you will become as successful is the amount of pain that you're willing to enjoy because you do not measure your pain your day by how much joy you get you measure it by how much pain you prepared to put up with and the greater your success in the greater what you build, the greater your pain is going to be. So here it is you can't hide from it because in order to get anything you need to get a certain amount of pain as well. So in order to succeed in anything you need to invite in a certain amount of pain, negativity is your biggest enemy ok? And there are ways to break through negativity so let's talk about what they are it's also a division technic okay, when you get on facebook and you have a negative a negative experience on facebook and you stay on facebook for three hours and then you bring three friends to talk about who's saying one on facebook and who said, what about you on facebook and then you go for it then you get in a private group in the annual rent on that private group and then you go for and you're stuck there in maine while you are addressing amy of the crap that you're bringing into your office in your studio that day it's a good division technic, it's a really good way to avoid anything that you really need to work on. It is also a catalyst for great change because people always create negative situations in order to force change in their life it's a simple fact if I create a negative situation right now, I can change the situation because it's not my fault this is happening to me like I'm struggling right now because somebody in my city is talking crap about me every single day and it's their fault, I'm not getting clients ok? Is it really matter what other people are saying about you? But we do this and we hold onto this negative negativity in order to change something because we know we're failing and we know we have to change something, but we don't know how and we just create create create so many people said to me when they first built their business part of them wanted to have the business taken away from them so then it wasn't their fault that they failed and I said but maybe you didn't fail maybe you were just incredibly uninspired but you don't need to kill something in order to re booth something you can change it any time think about it okay? The catalysts for change is that stack in negativity what is it that you need to change and why do you think you're struggling to do it? I love that that dangerous rial and that fear is imagined and most of what you think is just thought most of the fear that you think you're processing is simply thought but we create all this fear and negativity in our business and it's to distract us from living boyd you know something I read in a sherry have a book the fear book she says that you know you can get afraid of marketing your business because you don't want to walk into this meeting to market your business because those people a more important than you nobody in this world is more or less important and you know everybody is exactly the same and yet how would you deem that somebody else in this world is more important than you and then you want the old therefore afraid to go in and deliver what you love to do can you see how misaligned we're living in out every day business and life? How could you possibly think somebody was more important than you now consider their energy? Because if you project there, everyone is better than you, you're going to have a bit of a problem and business, right? Because that's, what you're going to attract a whole lot of people that are better than you and you're not getting paid because you're with nothing. Do you know how many people work from the cnn g? I know because I did the years years I no longer believe in fear I no longer believe and good enough or validation in my business or myself, and I no longer believe that anything is more important than me or less important than may I now just realize some people will be very attracted to my experience and some people won't care it is not a rejection, it is not a they're not good enough you're either into what I offer or you're not into it it all and that's okay, I don't need to win over the hate is I don't need to, you know there is no there is oh, I love what you do or there's indifference and if they're indifferent about me, why would I pitch my business to them? Why do we try so hard to tune the people that an interested in the service or experience we offer because the service and experience I offer is great and the people that are attracted to it will be ready for it and want it and be excited by it facebook you'll ever rate is there is nothing wrong with you by sherry hubba it removes fear it tended into self hate and it changed it into that voice that tells you you're not good enough after you experience something you know you hear this a lot it's invite in failure you will fail many times most of the fortune five hundred lost their fortune and and read what is failure really can you honestly say you lost a business that you were completely in love with because I've never seen anybody lose a business that they were one hundred percent in love with they were already in a full state of resistance and struggle way before they started to go down and then they were just holding on to their thinking ship you know going it wasn't my fault it was the economy it wasn't my fault and the most beautiful part about that it was kind of year it wascause you hated this years ago because I watched people who are enthusiastic jamie at the moment will do nothing but succeeded all she talked about you know, all she talks about this do thing you think she's going to fail at that? She walking have a complete stranger. She had a complete stranger on a juice diet in half an hour, you know? And we'll be out shopping, just like I will be talking to the girl serving me at nordstrom's, asking the hear what she really wants to do with her life, because I love it so much and it's part of who I am, that it's part of my business it's part of what I do, it's part of what I teach is part of what I hear it's part of my income it's part of what I love to do every single day, and then all of a sudden you realize that what youre infusing is transmitting into everything that you do. Maybe you should invite in and sit ophelia pain and criticism let's have a look at their the trouble with most of us is we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism because this some partners that is still this eight year old child and in school playground that just wants to be liked. Facebook to me is like high school, but adults it's hilarious is met, you know, you post a picture on facebook, I could get a thousand likes on an image in one person hates it and all I can cry about it but the truth is, is being too the day you need to accept all of the truth and criticism and invited in you need to accept that truth and criticism a friend of mine was telling may about this bullying situation where a woman who teaches bullying has a son and he was getting bullied. Its goal here is getting cold on the most horrendous things you know he was getting abused on beaten up for being gained the if wood and all the rest of it was foul and she said him down and she said what what does that mean? And he said, well, I guess it means that I'm girly and a few minute and soft and weak she asked him what the definition of the words he was getting abused with where and he explained them back to here and she said, can you see how they would think that you were those things? And he went, oh yeah because I am kind of a gentle kid and you know, another tough kid or rough kid and she was like so you can see why they would call you that and he was like a year and it stopped happening. If you accept the truth in your criticism you understand immediately that their voice of equilibrium is usually the same voice that you have inside you that's abusing yourself just outside of yourself being attracted back somebody wrote on facebook the other day um it takes you come up the human mind contrast in comm piers okay the contrast in comm piers all of the time it's always contrast ng m I a is pretty is here am I as good as him and my as good of photographer? Am I good enough to end money with contrast? We compare we do it physically, we do it without work, we do it on face but we do it without business we do it constantly contrast ing in comparing and usually were a mixture between the echo off thing I'm fabulous in better health than him and I'm not as good as here, so we're a mixture of trying to over inflate ourselves and put ourselves down and being shocked by that because that's part of having an ego but the defense mechanism is really sit in there and it's designed just to keep you safe let's say you have a situation where you put yourself out there and love you get your heart broken then you don't want to love again because you remember it hits okay said now the fear voices don't do that you get rejected don't do that you can't have that don't do that that hurts you made that up there was a little voice inside that just says, hey, maybe you shouldn't do that because remember the last time it really hurt it's not this big monster that stand over you that is fear it is this little child inside you that says maybe we shouldn't try that again remember because they rejected us last time and it really hurt and I was embarrassing and painful and it made us cry and then you think it's this big monster of fear stopping you from living and it's just this little child inside you that you can say it's ok, we need to try again because we learned something wonderful about ourselves the first time and we're gonna learn something even better this time you know? And that being fear goes I look at it now is iko equilibrium whenever somebody hits me on faith focal seemed to be an email if they attack me or hit me because the bigger my career gets, the more criticism I'm going to invite also, the more love I'm going to get don't worry, I get it unequal abundance um I realized that their equilibrium is healthy because it keeps my feet grounded. It keeps me grounded but nobody has ever said anything to me that I haven't already said to myself somebody wrote on facebook the other day that if I put it I put it in the summer, maybe I went past it that my work or looks the same and I was really hit by their ass like I've been teaching a specific jonah you know the quintessential human desire is denial no, it doesn't the second one is defense difference denial I've been teaching a specific genre for sixteen months and then my food response for us oh, it does because I think really like stuck in my own patton as well and I've been wanting to get out of it but seeing it written on facebook it's like hell and then I was kind of like well does in last month I spent the whole month shooting I didn't write a blawg I was really lazy on facebook as cutting and pasting quotes and somebody was right years span the crap out of everybody else and I I ke first denial I wasn't spanning it's motivational quotes you know I had second reaction is defense oscar year, you know? And then it was oh yes, I have sorry I've been so busy I haven't been putting any time into my social media and second I accepted goes away and I realized that inviting in the criticism and realizing it sexy my truth is one of the first things you do to change it and you're negative mind shifts instantly you must accept it is equilibrium accepted as the truth and if you don't believe it, listen to your own voice you're already saying it I went to an event recently and all the speakers off the event mid met for dinner the night before we were asked to introduce ourselves and what we're going to talk about, and we were asked to do intimidates I realized that everybody sitting at this table, the first thing they did was validated themselves, you know, I'm important enough to be here, and I am an important enough to be a speaker, and I thought to myself, why are they all validating themselves? You know, you're important enough to be here, your speaker, you're here to present and given teach, and then I realized the sort of being judged is stronger than the act of giving and cheering. So when you create a business and you put it out there, you put the marketing out there, the website out there, the blogging out there, you put the facebook out there, the twitter out there, the thought of being judged by your peers is greater than the act of giving and sharing service and it's the giving and cheering that's going to get you paid, not the putting it out there. And yet the biggest problem we have is what I call the I just had problem was putting myself out there, and I go ok, so you don't get paid for putting yourself out there, you get paid for giving in cheering, right, do you understand that? It's a business owner you're not getting paid for putting yourself out there but how can I get clients if I don't put myself out there? What once you've given share the one you attract for more because if you're giving in cheering properly, then you'll keep protecting clients from every person that you work with because that service ok, I had this role about circle back there's something means susan roderick hoist talk about his friends you can bit sheikhoun mine you khun back step just don't do it on facebook seriously ok the circle back is this the worst thing you can say about me holds the truth about you so if you're talking about me in a negative way, you're in that space so when somebody makes you angry, you say santer made me angry you then take the santo away and say I'm angry you're the one that angry so when you circle back you've got to do this do you believe? San said did that they said this? They did this they said this and they did this on facebook you're now the one transmuting that the case so whatever they put out there you grabbed on twitter and now it's part of you and now you're putting that until speech your voice, your energy and your business you're doing it, you're talking about them and you're doing it said the circle bag is when you get to the point where you stop being angry just for enough to say they must be really hooting right now they must be in pain they must be trying to point the finger at somebody else in order to not look at their own behavior they must be coming from a place of resistance in fear they must be struggling right now you circle back and when you circle back you realize it's lift you because you're now in a state of forgiveness and a witness and that transmutes so there's some people you meet that like to bitch and moan but they circled back really well they understand that it's what they're saying they understand that they are being it and then they circle back to a place of peace and love and calm but there's other people that just keep bitching and mining and they don't circle back and you must circle back okay so every time I hear it susan and I telling each other we say what circle back on that is she okay and then she said to me the other day you should circle back on there on my own all right but you can't just circle back and go oh well that's just the way it is isn't it there and I saw no it's just life and are you actually have to come to a place where you understand the pain and suffering and they decide to hit you other people because you're the one doing it if you're missing something you need to give it all right it's that simple so we were both talking about somebody in ally that is just exists but doesn't give anything I said have you ever thought that that person needs your love and we talked about it and I said maybe what you should do is walk up to that person and say, hey, I haven't given you any love today bring it on in instead of thinking they don't like may I don't exist for them they don't talk to me then I speak to may why don't you go and give them some uh and if you want something ask for it you know if you email me I get hundreds of e mails every day if I don't respond here email me again and again and again and cheek it the response that you want but don't sit at home going so bryce didn't even bother to answer my email because you're doing that the cake not may you're doing that you're thinking that your trance feeding that you're being bet most of what we think other people think of us is made up by ourselves you making that up in your business you're making it up every day you're making it out what you're getting now your photos it what you're saying certainly not your fault and what you're being not your fault the victim's story the story you repeat over and I began that you don't even realize you're saying well in two thousand eight I lost two homes in their financial crisis I'm like well you lost two homes but a free home oh no there were mortgages I'll see lost two lines but oh well yeah they you know I had their foreclosure what did you lose? He lost two homes think about it what do you say over there began when I was twenty five years old I put on one hundred pounds how many years was I going to tell that story before I did something about it before somebody said so why use don't fat I mean honestly, how many times were you repeat what? You don't have what you can't have what you lost how many times will you repeat your victim's story before you realized you found your identity in it? And how many times will you tell the story before you realize that you're the one making it your truth? Everybody wants to be seen heard and respective nobody more so than your clients and yet we seem to try and make money instead of giving and sharing I went to this talk and there was this amazing she's actually the sister of arianna huffington who name is I gotta pay says annapolis and she's written a book called um the heart something of a heart on my goodness I didn't write her book, but you can google her name and she police and radical generosity she believes a secret to business in life is radical generosity. Everybody wants to be helped. Everybody needs your generosity. Imagine that in business. Imagine if you looked at somebody and said instead of like, I hope they pay me to book a fellowship I hope she pays me to book a fellowship. Hi, my name's. Bryce and I take these photos, please, like my work place like me. Please pay me twelve hundred dollars, please. All the things you've just asked for her. And have you ever thought to say, how can I help you? Do you need a beautiful photograph? An incredible experience? Do you need to know what it's like to see yourself for the fist time? The most beautiful photography? She you eve ahead of yourself to feel the most beautiful you're ever going to feel in your young life and then experience yourself and learned to love yourself because I can give that here, how would you like to be photographed? How would you like to experience there that that giving and sharing in that moment is far greater than my sales pitch to try and get money out of here, that what I can give her is far greater now she might pay me six hundred dollars or she might pay me six thousand it doesn't matter what matters is that I've given her the experience that I love to give and when you reconnect to that all of the seven it's in by isis I never valued photography but then I never buried myself. Oh, god told me so many years I don't know when you limit I don't know whether you were just born that way and you have some people find out how hot a limb, but at what stage do you think I'm not good enough tells you that why do you believe it? I'm not good enough for what an income a life I've dreamed off to feed my children toe oh no harm to drive the car I want who tells you that and when do you decide it? You know if you don't value yourself I said this that every workshop nobody will if you do not value what you do know but he will pay you to do it. You must learn to value what you giving, but in order to value what you're giving, you must give it not trying to get paid you pay me and then I'll give you something but let me give this to you and then you will pay me for it a fifty fifty services about giving and that energy will transmute into everything you do service with intent is the purest, purest form of connection, so service with intent to enjoy that experience is the answer learned to give from your heart and learned to receive people do not receive money out of guilt and shame I'm not with it, I'm not good enough, I can't in this much money my family don't in this much money, I cannot be rich when others a poor way have world guilt. How can I create wealth when there's so many starving people in this world? How can you feed anybody in this world if you're not feeding yourself first? How can you educate anyone in this world toe abundance if you can't receive it? You were given a left hand in a right hand. I've said it before I'm going to keep saying it lifters for leaving right is for receiving you must give and receive in equal amounts. I don't believe you can just keep giving for nothing and expect that you can survive on nothing because everybody who does that says I don't get anything. I don't get anything and what you're saying is not acknowledging what you can receive for what you do, whether that's business, life, family, love it is a fifty fifty exchange of giving and receiving, and your left and right hand reminds you to do both but most people don't know how to receive I was always an over giver never thought I valued anything that I was with receiving until I learned to receive and that means love that means a fiction that means criticism that means money that means abundance I accept it all as part of the package and I received now with gratitude thank you and I make sure that the giving is in constant alignment with the receiving I read a book written in nineteen teen by wallace de water was called the science of getting rich it's part of the download of this course it changed my life and what it changed was this simple simple saying right here I am here to create not to compete for what has already created because as photographers you get stack on facebook you get stuck on I'm better than her I just have more money than him I'm better than her I'm better than him I'm better than hear blah blah blah why are they successful? I'm not you compete you compete you compete you compete and yet you hear to create and to create is to give service it's to give what you do is to create something for your client is to create marketing is to create ideas to evolve and reinvent yourself and re energize yourself every single day I am here to create I am not going to wake up and spend my day competing with you I don't need to get on your website and compete with you. I need to create something, something that's, going to grow my business and something that's going to grow on me. My wish, my intention for you for this talk, is that you fortune, wealth and prosperity, okay, wealth and prosperity in all forms that you live and walk your true path, whatever that is, and it might change next month. But keep asking yourself what it is. What am I doing here? Why am I doing this? So I love doing this and why we connecting to it, please walk it now you can do this, reconnect, or whatever it is, and find your purpose, because in doing so, you will find your true service not only to yourself, but to all human kind, and then you will be abundant.