Happy is a Choice, Joy is a Lifestyle
- [Sheri] So we're going to talk about the next principle, which is Happy is a Choice and Joy is a Lifestyle. Happy is a Choice, Joy is a Lifestyle. I love what Oprah said, "Be thankful for what you have and you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never have enough." Yeah. Yes. Guys, joy is the fuel of exponential living. Joy is the fuel. If you want to know how we get up every day and do this, it's rooted in that joy. And it started with what we did in the very first lesson when we focused on that surrender, that gratitude, and celebrating those victories. We really have to focus on the fact that happiness is the vehicle, not the destination. And I love what you're doing, Mark, with the Happy Company. You know this. Happy is the vehicle. Happy is the thing that we can choose. Now, there are some people naturally that there's chemical things that you need help with. I get that. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when we wake up in the m...
orning, and those 95 thoughts, those 60,000 thoughts start hitting us. We can make the choice in that moment. Guess what? I'm healthy, my family is good, I'm excited. This is how I wake up. This is literally... I'm being very vulnerable right now. Today is going to be a great day. I am excited. I am so joyful about the experiences I'm going to have today. I woke up this morning. My husband woke up this morning. My mother woke up this morning. My daughter is a happy, joyful baby and she's going to run in here and hug me any moment. This is how I wake up because I choose to wake up and make myself understand and appreciate why I can be happy, why I can choose to be happy. Because I used to wake up with, "Oh, my God. I did not get that stuff done yesterday. God. And now I'm going to have to get it done today. Oh, my God. I'm so stressed out. How am I going to figure this out? I got to to the gym and then I got to get down..." That's how I used to wake up. Am I the only one? Is that just me? Yeah, I see hands like, "Girl, don't Let the camera show me." And so it's a choice. And then when we dive in to that happiness, we realize that some of us actually just don't choose to be happy. We don't choose to be happy, we fail to control those negative thoughts. Like I said, I wake up easily going, "Oh, my God, what I didn't do," but I choose to wake up and I control my thoughts. I take myself and my clients on a 21-day peace and a positive mind fast all the time. Because when you actually focus in on the thoughts, you realize how many negative thoughts you actually have. And then we have to replace that negative thought with something positive. Because, honestly guys, 90% of the negative thoughts we have aren't real. They just aren't real. And I would go to say that sometimes 100% of the negative thoughts are just not real. They're not factual. Trying to get here today, "Oh, my God, what if I just absolutely forget everything? Everything." I'm not going to forget everything. Why am I having that thought? Why am I having that thought? "Oh, my God, everybody is going to hate this." Everybody's not going to hate it. Ninety percent of the people might hate it, but everybody's not going to hate it. So why am I thinking that? Stop it. "But what if you get up there and break your heel?" Well, you bought gym shoes. Stop it. Right? We have to refrain the thinking, we have to control the negative thinking. I'm a woman of faith. I don't put my faith on anyone else, but we shut God out. And when I mean God, I mean love. I mean the idea of something bigger than us. I mean that there's something in the world that has a bigger plan for us than we could even plan for ourselves. And guess what? It's okay to wake up every day and believe in something bigger than us. And you can call it what you want to call it, but it's okay to believe that there's something bigger than us. And when you do, you can't help but smile. I'm trying not to, but I can't help it. But there's something bigger than me. We confuse our reality with our truth. There's been some broken places in my life that was my reality, but they were not my truth. They were not my truth. One day I had a meeting with the CEO of the John Maxwell Company. And at this time, is when I was homeless. Homeless, not on the street homeless, but I was living in hotels and with my daughter. Me my daughter was living with a friend of ours in her spare bedroom and it was the lowest point of my life. And here I was, nobody knew, I'm having a meeting with this gentleman who is the CEO of five of John Maxwell's companies, literally like a global company. And we're having lunch because he wants my insight, I want his insight and... So it's a very high-level meeting, right? That's my truth. My reality was I had $6.35 in my bank account, I had no place to call my own. That was my reality. But my truth is I'm still the important, powerful, glorious, amazing human being that God created me to be. My truth is that I'm still an innovative thinker with a kind heart and a joyful spirit and I want to see people win. That's my truth. So how we choose to be happy, don't confuse your reality with your truth. You may be in transition, but that doesn't mean that you're stuck. You may not know exactly where you're going, but that doesn't mean you don't bring value into the world. We put a ceiling on our happiness. Sometimes we're just too afraid, because what if it doesn't last? Enjoy it for the moment that it does. Enjoy it for the moment it does and guess what? It'll probably last longer. We fail to accept our new norm. For the last eight years of my dad's life he... His entire life, he was a very, very active man. The last eight years, due to medical issues, he was in a wheelchair. And he just could not accept his new norm. Those last eight years, instead of him seeing himself as a vibrant father who had this beautiful granddaughter. I am an only child, that was his only grandbaby, all he would think about is, "I'm in this wheelchair and I can't play with her the way I played with you." She didn't know that. She didn't know. She loved playing with him. It was so hard for him to accept his new norm. If you're divorced, tough, struggle, hurts. That is a new norm. It doesn't mean that you are over, it means the marriage ended. Your job has transitioned, you now have a different profession. It doesn't mean that you're no longer a powerful executive, it means you've transitioned to something else. Accepting our new norm will so help us in choosing to be happy. We compare ourselves to others, Denise referenced earlier. We compare ourselves to others. And here's the big one. We hold on to anger. Has anybody ever done that? Anybody ever held on to anger? Put them up high for me. Put them up high. Yes. We hold on... This keeps us hostage in so much of our anger. And I want to spend just a little time on this. I want to release this anger because it's so hard to be happy and it's so hard to live a life of joy when this anger is still in you. So I want you guys to accept that releasing the anger does not erase the wrong that was done to you. And I know most of this you already know, this is just a reminder. Because remember, we're going to release some of that here, so we don't take it with us at the end of the day. Because we're going to leave here with what? Peace and courage. Accept that the anger is... That's not your strength. I had a client who told me it's his anger that allows him to be a great businessman. No, anger is not your strength. It's not weakness that... Accept that weakness is not what allows you to be hurt. You weren't weak and that's why you got hurt. Accept that it was not your fault, but someone else's decision to hurt you. Accept that you can be whole and free again. Accept that holding on to the anger does not protect you. Anger has a very valid place in our life, but it's an emotion. It's an emotion. It's an emotion that should not be the driver's seat in our life. The driver's seat, remember, is joy. Joy is the fuel for exponential living. Anger is a valid emotion that is used for the purpose of what it's to be used for, but it's not to be in the driver's seat. And the biggest hindrance, the biggest hindrance of our joy and our happiness... Does anybody want to take a guess? - [Woman 1] (inaudible). - That's close. A what? - [Woman 2] Ourselves. - Ourselves. That's close. That's close. It is a four-letter word. Drum roll, please. Our work. Our work. Our work. And that's so self-explanatory. I don't even have to dive into that one, do I? Guys, I want you to be thinking about this. I'm happy because... And this is one of those... These last two, I want you to just write these down. I'm happy because... I want you to make this a part of your everyday experience. We're not going to share it because it isn't a moment thing. This is a continuation thing. I'm happy because... I need to stop complaining about... I need to stop complaining about... Before we go to the last principal, Laura, do we have anything online? - [Laura] We have got people just resonating with the conversation, having hear people's experiences in the studio, and also the comments that you're working through. Vivian says, "I feel like you're peering into my soul. Thank you for sharing your journey on this philosophy. This gives me more hope than I had yesterday." She's very grateful. And also Lisa Cambridge says, "Sheri knows my story. Please ask her about the role of faith in the middle of transition," which you briefly just touched on before. - Wonderful.