Create Deeper Bonds and Human Motivation
we made it through. Our fear is guys we're on Day 14 which is about creating value, and my three goals for today are to teach you the nine value languages with ease. Air important for is showing us how to create deeper bonds with people, because when we do, we can understand human motivation. We understand where people come from, but first, as always, I have a little warm up to get our juices flowing. So I want to ask you, who do you most admire? And preferably I'd want this to be someone in your own life. You can pick a celebrity or someone like that, but someone in your life who you admire greatly. I don't think too much about this just off the top of your head. And now I want you to think about what is it about that person that you admire most? What quality about that person is that you admire most in your workbook? I want you to write down the person, and what quality is that you admire? So that's a very fast way to tap into your own values is also a fast way if you want to solicit...
other people's values. That's something you can ask others to get, a feeling for what it is that they value most. And that is what we're talking about today. The nine value languages. Now here's where we are At the path to connection were the top guys. Give yourself a round of applause for that at home. Pat yourself on the back, Give yourself a hug because we made it all the way to the top of the path to connection. We started with the hook. The first impression, the deposit, how to get and receive emotional deposits, fracking going a level deeper bonding toe. Learn someone's personality. And now we're finally at connection, and that's about tapping into people's values. We had to cross a lot of fear. To get there today is marked by one quote by Theodore Roosevelt. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Tapping into people's value language is the best way to show someone that you care for them. Not only are you showing interest, are you making them feel validated, but you also get to meet their self actualization need need, which is the highest part of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Let me show you about what I mean. So this is finding their personal mission statement. We've been talking about our own personal mission statement, but value languages finding what motivates someone else and that is called a value language. A value language is what drives someone to make life choices. It's what informs their goals and actions, and it's what gets them up in the morning. Ah, value language is what motivates us. What's it's what drives us and this is skill Number 19. Find their value. We learned 33 people skills in this course. The skills that highly successful people have discover their personal mission statement to speak their value language. Now let me I have to go through them. So to sort of get what I mean by a value language. They're actually nine different ones. Power, money, fame, relationships, image, perfection, uniqueness, experience and knowledge. The interesting thing about value languages, this is the other side of our matrix. So at our core we have our talent and our intelligence, and we have what we hold dear. What motivates us. We value all nine. All of us value all nine of the value languages. But the order is what is important. So how we rank them is what defines our motivations. So I want us to think about what our primary and what are secondary value languages. The top two. But in your workbook, I'm gonna have you go through an exercise where you actually rank all of them. Why do we do this? Why do we care about value language? Why does it help us with our interpersonal skills? First, this helps us predict someone's choices. There's very little about this course that is predictive, right? Mostly, it's reading people for who they are. Connecting, building on top of connection. Predicting someone's behaviors and choices is how you use value language. If you understand what motivates someone, it's much easier to know how they're going to act or behave. It also helps us understand why some people drive you absolutely crazy. So a little special note here before I go into the Value languages, there is no right or wrong. There is no the best value language in the worst value language. There's no grains here. I'm not going to give you a B C on these the way that you rank your value languages, the more authentic you could be by not thinking about right or wrong answers, the more authentic you are. There is no right or wrong here. All right, let's start. So here's how I broken down the night value languages. Money is the first value language. I'm gonna talk about how people find value in it when they feel worthy clues for this value language. The difficulty that people with this value language have and their skill. So when I say people who have money as a value language, I mean that's their primary value language. We all value money to some extent. It's just different on the ranking system. So people who have primary rally their money is private, their primary value language. They find value in salary, net worth and high prices. They like things that cost a lot. They feel worthy when they have a large bank account, when they can afford expensive items and when they're earning potential increases, that's when they feel worthy clues. They have prioritized high financial goals. Their achievement in their success is tied to financial goals. They show off expensive items or spend lavishly. They pick romantic partners based on salary or net worth. The difficulty that we have is that they tend to be seen as greedy or materialistic. But their skill is there typically highly ambitious because they want to achieve those monetary goals. Image is the 2nd 1 They find value in beauty, aesthetics and appearance. They feel worthy when they're complimented on their looks when they're admired in the street. When they get likes comments, approval on their photos and videos, they're clues are they spend extra time and extra money on appearance? It might take a very long time. Getting ready. They place a high value on clothes and makeup, possibly plastic surgery. Valuing youth, they pick romantic partners based on appearance difficulty. They can often be seen as vain, but their skill is there, appreciative of beauty. They love and admire beautiful things. Middle people, and they can take extreme care of their body and their health. Power is the third body is the third value language. People who value power highly, they feel, find value in authority, prestige and earning high titles. Title is very important to them. They feel worthy when they're in charge. When their decision maker and when they outrank people, you know the highest rank in the room. Clues for power language are they enjoy persuading and having dominance over others. They take credit or make power hungry moves. And sometimes it's not where credit is due. They take that credit for themselves. They pick a romantic partners based on rank or title. They casually mentioned title education level or awards Just dropping it. You know, Stroh. No, it's not Mr Doctor. Whatever it is, right, they casually mentioned the title. The difficulties. They could be seen as social climbers or being obsessed with rank. But their skill is there typically highly successful because that's how they feel worth is by getting higher ranks hired higher titles and achievement. That's public knowledge. So the 4th 1 is knowledge. They find value in intelligence, I Q book smarts and education level. They feel worthy when they are in the know when they are right. They love to be right, and when they have high intelligence or high I Q. They're clues. Are they correct and fact? Check those around them. They always Well, that's not right. Let me look it up for you. They share obscure information, right? They love to tell you interesting fax. They asked you to back up your opinion with fact. How do you know that? Tell me the science behind it. That's how you know difficulty. They can be. No, it all's right. They know best. But the skill is they typically have very high intelligence, right, cause they're constantly trying to stem that intellectual curiosity. Five Is fame people who placed a very high value on fame, and this is creeping up, by the way, this wasn't such a big one many years ago, but more and more, we're seeing more people obsessed with fame cause famous much easier to get with YouTube. So they find value in popularity, notoriety and fame. They feel worthy when they're in the spotlight. When they get recognition and when their reputation precedes them. Their reputation is hugely important to them. Clues are they love to be the center of attention, their obsessive about views on post videos and photos constantly checking. I think Selfie is the perfect example. The Selfie song. I will not sing it for you. I'll spare you all. That's the perfect example of the fame value language they drew about being famous. The difficulty is they can be dramatic, and they can think that any attention is good attention. But their skill is they can be very talented, right? They want to showcase their talents. So they want the fame to showcase the talent, Uh, six experience. People who value experience. They find value in adventure, excitement and impressive stories. Love experiences. They feel worthy when they're trying something new when their bucket list is complete or they've checked and item off their bucket list and they have done it all. They feel like they know everything. They have experienced it all. Clues are they try extreme or obscure sports and hobbies. They always say yes to new things. They brag about trips, adventures and travels. They know the local hot spots to cool places in the best things to do that, the best people to ask for recommendations. Difficulty is they can be adrenaline junkie, and they can be bored easily onto the next thing. I've experienced it all but skill. Is there typically well traveled and extremely exciting to be around and exciting to talk? Teoh, uh, seven, is relationships, relationships. They find value in people, friendships and strong relationships. They feel worthy when they can connect with interesting people. They have a lot of Facebook friends. They have a large network when they feel worthy clues are they place a high value on their role. Adex. They always want to meet new people. They could name drop or social climb. They spend time on relationship maintenance, maintaining their relationships. The difficulty is sometimes not always. They can think of quantity over quality, so the amount is friend amount of friends, as opposed to the quality of friends. But the skill is they typically have very high peak you and they might know everyone. Their super connector number eight. This one's a little tricky. It is control slash perfection. People who have control perfection as their primary value language. They find value in being in control, being perfect. And I use quotes in that having everything in check and in line, they feel worthy. When people are pleased with them, they, when they have done everything right, and when everything is under control, the clues are they can be people pleasers. They can hide vulnerabilities because they're afraid that's gonna gonna make them worthy. They rarely ask for help, and they do not like asking for help and support, and they can be high in conscientiousness. Can be. Difficulty is if they're afraid of higher, high showing vulnerabilities, they can hide. They could be very inauthentic, right? They're afraid, authenticity. They can also lack flexibility because they want everything to be perfect and they can be stuck in a perfection prison. But the skill is there, typically very likable and very dependable. The last one is uniqueness, and this is the most rare. So uniqueness is when people feel value in breaking the status quo and being different. They feel worthy when they can have a unique impact. They love to be brazen and stand out, and they feel worthy when breaking their when they can break the rules and go against the status quo clues. They hate rules, right? They hate being told what to dio. They're not traditional. They love shock value and they do not like being told what to do. Difficulty is, they can have a hard time fitting in and dealing with authority, but their skill is there typically incredibly innovative challenge for today. I want you to rank your value languages I also want you to rank your risers, value languages and your intimate value languages. See if you can guess what they value and then, if you can. If you feel comfortable shows in this lesson, go through the workbook with them and see what residents of them see how close you are.