Optimize Interaction and Design Your Personality
Hello. Welcome Today, 11 today we're talking about optimizing interaction and personality and are the goals today are threefold. First, I'm gonna teach you the free trait theory. And this is gonna help us optimizer interaction and show us how we can design our personality to be exactly what we want it to be. It's the war of today is I want you to think about who in your life. Who in your life do you want to discover their matrix? So who in your life are you like? Gosh, I so want them to fill out the Big Five factor test. I'm dying to see where they fall on that scale. So who is that special person? It could be. Your riser could be an intimate. It could be a colleague or a client. I want to know who it is and why you want to know that about them. So we are in the bonding section of the path to connection. We learned our first impression. We learned how to make emotional deposits more meeting someone. We learned how to crack a little deeper fracking into their emotional needs. And now we...
're in bonding, which is the final and last step on the path to connection. Yesterday I taught you how to read someone's matrix and say We're going to talk about how to optimize it. So this all comes down to the free trait theory. The free trade sear theory says that you can optimize your traits if your goals are high enough. So we if we have a goal about a goal for something, we can change our trait to fit into that gold to help us get to that goal. That is why I made us talk about our personal mission statement, and this leads me to skill Number 16 which is optimized personality. We can optimize natural trades to achieve our goal. This is the free trade theory. Our personalities can be designed to fit our personal mission statement, which we talked about in segment, too. So what is your personal mission statements? Hopefully, in your workbook, you've been going to the personal mission statement questions You've been thinking about why you're here, what your legacy is, what drives you. So let's talk about the positive sides and the negative sides of both ends of each factor. Okay, so extra version people who are high extra version. On the plus side, they're very cast charismatic, and they tend to be popular. On the negative side, they can be seen as rude. They can get bored easily, and sometimes they convey perceived as bossy because they're so direct. On the other side, on low extra version, they're seen as thoughtful and observant. On the low side, they can feel loneliness. They can be seen as passive as if they don't have opinions because they're afraid to share them and they can go unheard. There needs their wants, who they are. We can miss it. Their brilliance. We don't see it. So what? I want to ask us ourselves. Two questions and I have these in your workbook for you to go through one. My personal mission statement requires me to be more or less data, and it could be exactly the same. And second, what's one action step I need for myself to get there? So now we're gonna talk about conscientiousness. So on the high side, people who are high in conscientiousness are extremely dependable and organized. They get it done on the low side. They can be perfectionists. They can fall into a routine prison where they feel like they're so imprisoned by their need for control, an organization that they can't break out of it on the low side there, laid back. They're free spirits. But sometimes they can be difficult to be in a relationship with because it's hard to find them. It's hard to depend on them, and there's a lack of follow through, which can also be a challenge in work environments. So again, we come to this question of Does my personal mission statement required to be to be more or less conscientious, conscientious? What's one Challenger action ship? I can try for myself to push or optimize my personality type, So let's talk about agreeableness. So people who are high in agreeableness they're great team players, as we talked about. They tend to be wonderful leaders. Leaders tend to score high in agreeableness. On the other end, they can be seen as gullible, as pushovers and as naive because they're so agreeable. People who are low on agreeableness, they're seen as steadfast, direct, dependable. On the low end, they can be seen as difficult, a little rigid or stubborn because they don't want to move in their ways. So I want you to think about my personal mission requires me to be more less agreeable. And what's one Challenger action stuff I can try for myself. So neuroticism People were high in neuroticism. They're typically high achievers and their meticulous. They look at every single detail on the low end, they tend to have high anxiety. Hi, depression, and they're seen as hypersensitive. Or they can be higher reactive on the low end. So people who are low neurotic are easy going and carefree. They're very stable. But the problem is, is sometimes they can be seen as care less carefree, turned into care, less there, so detached they could be seen as absent minded or un emotional because they don't necessarily need to have an emotional reaction. Everything. Sometimes he will concede them as detached or un emotional absent minded. So I want us to think about my personal mission requires me to be more or less neurotic in what way and one challenge to try for myself could be close to the last one. Openness to experience and intellect, people who are high in openness, their creative. They're intelligent, they're imaginative on the low end they can be impulsive. They can be seen as a little too liberal, too much rule breaking right. Bosses don't love it or they question authority because they're curious they're open. They want to find out things on the low end people who are low and openness, their unwavering, steady and committed. However, they can be seen as boring, uninterested or stiff because they lack a certain curiosity in their personality. They much prefer what's dependable, what's routine. So the reason why we do this lessons for three reasons. I want to show you how to act on your strengths, the parts of her personality that are working for you. I want you to use them even more, leverage them to their up up teen ability. I also want you to optimize your limits, right? A limit. A weakness is not a limiter. Weakness if you optimize it right. Thinking about OK, this is a part of my personality, and here's how I want to make it work for me. Here's I want to fit it into my goals and also showcasing your strengths. So showing if you're in the interview where you're with a client, you can highlight aspects of your personality that will work for what you're trying out for, right? So if I am working with someone and they tell me you know, I'm really high conscientious, I get it done. I'm very organized. I'm very dependable. I'm like, Awesome. I'm so glad to know that about you. So also showcasing parts of our personality for clients. If you're high agreeable saying to someone you know I'm a team player, I just want to figure out what works for you. I want you to tell me how you feel. I embrace those emotions. U leverages showcase your agreeableness toe work with them and for them we don't often think about talking about her personality that way. Um, I love this quote. Invest really ships. You help each other Be the best version of yourselves. This is from my dad. So my dad always said this test. He said, In relationships, you have to help the other person be their best self. And doing this, I want you to translate it to the people who matter most in your life. Today. We've been talking about our own personalities. I want you to go to your partner, your clients and your friends and figure out how can you help them optimize their personality to meet their personal mission statement? Our challenge today is what areas of your personality do you want to optimize? I want you to go through the workbook, use the promise that I haven't think about What is my personal mission statement? How should I optimize? And I want you to think about action steps. It's one thing to say you want to do it. I want you to think of one skill that we've learned in this course that will help you get there. People kept coming up on stage. We would talk about neuroticism, agreeableness and the rock technique came up and listening came up in the art of silence came up. I wanted to look at the skills that we've learned and see how they can help you in those action steps. And lastly, I want you to think of at least three ways you can help your riser be their best self. That might just be being supported to them with the offer mentality that might be going into master questioner and figuring out how can you ask the right questions to tap into their own needs? Might be going to the personality matrix with them