Lesson 10 - Creating a Strong First Impression
Now how do we create a strong first impression? Well, whoever interviews you, um this thought alone has diminished any anxiety that I've ever had act as if you already know them think about it it is the one thought that I've pinpointed off the shift in my anxiety getting nervous to being so chilled out and I became myself again after that thought so I always tell myself I have known him for ages I'm only for either we're just hanging out was having a chap don't look in an interview as a formal probing session like being on lauren order what did you design? Why did you design it that it isn't throwing the desks around it's not that it's not like I swear you know I designed it um it's as if you're talking to someone that you've already met because they don't wanna grill you they want to get to know you otherwise you wouldn't be invited through the doors they want you they want someone to step up into their old so it's important tio remind yourself that it's a casual natural conversation ...
it's not an interview remove that out of your mind even if you want I just want to get to know you observe surroundings and use this as a conversation starter okay, so this is what I do I often come into the room um sam here available sit down on the couch, the creative director usually comes and whoever the name is let's say the name is james. Hey, james. Nice to meet you. Hey, uh, I love these are skateboard artworks that you're going on the wall that's, that's. Pretty cool. Um, you know how these, like a local artists or if you did those? Yeah, actually, on one of the local schools has a really amazing a street artist that does all these cool illustrations with with skateboards. True story. Another one had done was hi, sally knows mia. Um hey, ran. Thanks for coming. Hi, sally. This place is absolutely amazing. These wooden pillar is remind me of the the architecture in florence. Yeah, it was actually a renovated old warehouse that we turned into an office and you see what I'm getting at. Why? Because it's it's as if someone I hadn't seen in a long time. You don't go in and be frozen, use your surroundings and use that as a conversation starter. That is a technique that has worked for me. If we're talking about how that say something that is natural, that you would say to a make a friend, another example could be ah, when the architecture wasn't so great, but they were here, there was so many cafes around, so I said, ah you know hey, michelle nationally are so I had to ask their like thirty cafes in the area which one takes your has your tick of approval guys so I'm giving you stuff here that you can use, but you get the idea just start a conversation that's a really good first impression it shows that you're you're down toe doesn't it a human case? So rather than think about what do I say? The first thing I say use the surroundings so moving on to body language and tone now how to use it effectively? Well, if we break it down it's really? In these cool parts the three elements in any face to face communication on the following the words actually account for seven percent the tone of your voice in terms of communication effectiveness counts for thirty eight percent and your body language again, we just demonstrate that now it's hard for me to interpret that you're sad if you're like, smiling and up toll that's very difficult for me like you that's a contradiction or they're like yeah so you have to use your body language to advantage to communicate. The message is that accounts for fifty five percent so if you do the math ninety three percent off communication effectiveness is based on nonverbal cues huge so when we look at nonverbal communication those things tone of voice, body language there are five parts that it's used for the first is repetition so if I'm going yeah yeah I love that and I'm nodding right? I'm repeating what I'm saying so rather than going yeah yeah you're gonna riots we it it's like you'll natural why you naturally drawn to going I can't even say yes without saying it's true exactly you're nodding to me now without saying it yeah yeah so it could also be a contradiction as well so you don't want to say yeah I'm so interested in you're going yeah, I'm I'm really interested in the role reid that's a contradiction right there I don't care what he's saying your body language is saying that you are not interested you said you're energetic but you know in a check with your body language substitution again it can also replace what you're saying you don't have to talk talk, talk all the time you can use your body language to substitute what you say again the example is yes, you can go, we just do it right it's it's true it's like, you know a guy like pulling weird faces, you're gonna use your subtleties in your face and your eyebrows. I can't do that thing with the two thing um right complementing if a manager comes up to you and says, hey good job and taps you on the back that's complementing what they're saying okay, so there's there's also complimenting abusive of nonverbal and then underline if I say I absolutely love your work they could bang the desk they could, you know, point to their hand or that they could do this and the old italian like but their underlying and they're making you understand and you can also do this, you can make them understand a point by doing that. So whatever we want we must first give I thought, is if we want respect, we need to give respect if you want loyalty, we need to give loyalty, and if you're giving off nervousness and uncertainty, chances are you are going to have that reflected back at you and we all know this we have some friends that are very approachable, why? Because they make you feel comfortable tonight so we want that, um, same energy because you have to look at your body as a thirty piece orchestra. The song it creates is the message you're projecting each have different parts to play, and at different times you can choose to use a subtle instrument or at times, it's a group to build anticipation and intrigue. That's what that's, what should be done on your mind? I have all these things I'm gonna do a break dance for you, but you know I've got parts not just my words you've got a beautiful mind that's great and you've got some great design thinking and strategies but what else you know am I looking at you as if I'm looking at you um because I'm scared of you or am I looking at you as if you're a work of art I at school how are you position your hands your face um how the gestures um and again subtlety to I'm not saying to do a magical dance for the um but use that you know, if I do something simple that is this you know, when I was at the beach and I was carrying these balloons and then I let them go and then they flew up and up and up into the sky and exploded and then dogs came out of them what? But did you notice when I went up and up and up you were like on that journey with me subtle thing right? Very subtle thing but now I've communicated something far more powerful than me just saying it tone of voice, high pitched arms extended oz and frequent modernize under some of the vehicles that carry unnecessary tone also try to avoid wig words such as I think when you're starting sentence and I hope to one day be a designer like that isn't going to help your projection of confidence and certainty they want to hire someone that can do the job right so if you're going yeah, I hope that I can do it that's unnecessary time coaster choosing the words some words carry that already so there are words that you should avoid speak with confidence let them know you're capable that's the bottom line with your tyrants how does a capable person talk and act so the key interaction tips if we're to boil down some of these first of all is breathe get the blood flowing so that you can think louis, I swear to you I had a girl that almost passed out she passed out the poor thing because she she wasn't breathing that's because I think I feel a bit sick she has I'm just really notice she's none of this fine, but maybe if you take a breath you won't pass out make it through the interview smile and I don't mean the creepy kind like this and it's like graham told me to do this don't do that think george clooney or julia roberts professional warm pleasants jen's not like george clooney yeah absolutely usually thinking julia roberts all right, but look guys, these people are quite charismatic conway they're just, you know, quite pleasant, warm, easygoing natural ok start thinking about who are these people that I can think about to help my vision relax your shoulders okay simple thing is relaxing his shoulders just a lot of people hunt and I don't even know it just do a little bit of a two year that's it to that never fold your arms of course it's a big one the big one that sometimes which is so nervous that we do it it's crazy it's because you know what about biggest religions is that hot we want to protect that isn't it and that's really closed uh projection of protecting ourselves avoid slouching? Of course um don't slashing the chairman like ram said I could behaves comfortable this is how I am at home um you know within reason hold eye contact again it's not that game don't go winning um hold our contact when they're talking to you don't like wonder off it's true you got the last because you know what I'm talking about? I've done it we would like some was talking and you're like this just so intense or like this so intimidating you like yes so this project here wass um yeah, I worked with that guy it can happen kana that's a big one not when appropriate add depth and character to your tone of voice just fit the part if you're talking about story talked to them as if you know you wanna revisit that story, use the subtleties of facial expression expressions to add to your stories, take advantage of hand gesturing to create emotion especially if you're italian naturally built but it's good if you can try you know make a point of certain things because it shows that you're passionate doesn't it shows that you mean it the difference between someone that uses the instruments of their body number four here is creating an emotional connection so let me ask you something guys when you made an interesting person do you get that idea of them by them being interesting? Ah buy them telling you hey, I'm interesting and then you just automatically believe them you don't get that idea how did you get impression that they were interesting? Well, it was through the interesting stories their thoughts, their ideas, their philosophies on right you didn't get a lot from them just labeling themselves that you're like he's so interesting you don't even have to back it up so we need to transfer that storytelling dynamic to the interview and again these khun b learnt guys I know it can sometimes be uncomfortable but you can learn these things we can so how to create emotional collect connection is simply through telling stories okay so number one please write this down have three stories ready three of your own and wave them into your answers and during the conversation you might leave this in through the first question what could be so tell me about yourself you might put it through there you might back up your your answer midway through the interview ah and insert another story that demonstrates you are a value of you so they should indirectly demonstrate your values and abilities for example if I tell you that I'm really generous that's not cool don't just say I'm really generous you would use I would get the impression that you're generous if you tell me so what else you do outside of design uh I'm really enjoying volunteering myself at the children's hospital that's generosity of your time and a whole other bunch of values I'm like wow that's really cool how often do you do that I try to go when I can but I usually it's been once a month how short was that short story and then remember stories are not lengthy you're taking them through a journey of your life story please do not do that pic case stories and remember what we said about personal analysis who are you and remember all those things I made you list on the credit knockout portfolio and I had all those buzzwords off thought status talking about a grand parents tell about your parents how did you grow up? What activities did you where did you live? What kind of activities did you like all of these things there's a story in all of those pick three bring it to the interview keep it in your back pocket ready to show him so you get what I mean the demonstration of your values isn't spelling it out it's through a story and if we're breaking this down when you are hanging out with your best friend or your mates you're telling stories are you you're hanging out you're like oh my gosh, the funniest thing that happened on the weekend then you go into a story and then that makes me feel like dude, you get off to some really crazy stuff from the way again but that person in go I'm crazy right there's a there's a difference and this is the dynamic because sometimes the connection is difficult to fathom in peace but I'm breaking it down to you in simple terms tell stories get three, let us show and let your values shined through those for example, I'd I'd done some ready tonight when I was a child I sorry the when I was fifteen I visit the philippines for the first time story right there hang gliding in switzerland had a story for that video to back that up. So another one I would say is when I was a child I would use crying on stage or on the walls and my mom would say you can keep drawing but he's a bucket to clean it up and she didn't stop me from creating and that showed me that I had parents that just allowed me teo dream and imagine that's cool you know that's that's part of who I am again it's not something that everyone has if growing up, actually, you know, I'll be honest, if growing up. And there are some people who haven't had that type of lifestyle growing up. You know, some pick. Pick your stories that you feel condemning straight you.