Masterclass: Coaching Martez
Hi one more test all right come on theo the audience is a group of professional service providers weaken calling realtors we can call the realtors okay okay that's funny by show of hands how many of you can say that at least one time in your life you've allowed your thoughts or your thinking to stop you from achieving something you knew for a fact you could achieve how many say you've probably done that more than once great now let me ask you this and you don't have to ask you just think about it how did that make you feel what would it be to go back for a second so when you ask the question instead of you don't have to answer don't think about okay don't just think about it it's a command yes that's good one of the things that you have a tendency to do is to run a whole string of ideas to get you know what I'm talking about way s o we need different pacing okay we need a different places so what's this first line you're saying you're saying how many of you what what is it how many of ...
you can say that at least once in your life you've allowed your thoughts or your thinking to stop you from achieving something you knew you could it's okay so you see how your you stop? Do you hear that from the beginning said how many of you? That's what we need this more naturalistic way of communicating okay, so you're just going to say to me like we're hanging out you drink beer I do okay? So let's see what happened no, I don't think they go for that so you say since they were sitting out having a beer and maybe you had a couple of beers and we're like a couple of beers in on and you're like dude to have you ever write how many times and and I'm not really listening so you've got to get me to pay attention okay so you asked me the question how many times have you allowed your thoughts or your thinking to stop you from doing something you knew you could achieve I do that was to see that was the way that that's normal so you've gotta have a few drinks every time we get it ok, but so do you see how that's that's what we were talking about we won't talk to them just like we're having that kind of conversation okay, so let's do that okay by show of hands how many of you have allowed your thoughts or your thinking at least wants to stop you from achieving something that you knew you could achieve stay where you are don't wander around how many of you have done that? Maybe more than once thank you put your hands down let me ask you this what if you could achieve the things you'd like to achieve without facing that block or good go back again is better already, isn't it? Okay, so now just for this one staying the thing you don't need to say let me ask you a question just like you don't need to say let me tell you a story or I'm gonna tell you just tell the story or you ask the questions, okay? It's not a bad thing if you do every once in a while but if you can try toe cut those things that proved them out okay, this has gotta build. All right, you go to church? Yeah, okay. Sina weibo? Yes, because you've been a church. You know the preacher can build bill bill bill? Okay, that that's what we need a little bit more outlets are turning a preacher, but that's the bill that we need we need to go to that next level with each one of these things. So have any of you? All right? How many of you plot? And you see what if that's when we get to what if this could happen? Okay, so there's range let's do it again. All right by show of hands, how many of you have allowed your thinking or your thoughts to stop you from achieving something you knew for a fact you could achieve how many of you have done that? Maybe more than once put your hands on what if you didn't have to face that block or face that setback and you had the knowledge and things that it took to move forward let's go back again better already, isn't it let's do it again now you don't have to tell it put their hands down on that one because you've moved on the automatic to put their hands down they're not going to stay up ok? So then it's the let's move to them the what if what if you see yeah and we didn't we're not goingto rocket turning into we're not going to get artificially big or artificially dramatic but there's more in you this's what? I have to get this out of you ok? I have to get this out of you before we leave here today I don't care if it takes fifty hours we're going to stay creative lives okay? You can leave the building where I was going to keep going I have to get this out of you because you have so much in there you've got it's like you're holding onto you're protecting yourself you're like I'm not gonna get too risky here, okay ugh that's right, isn't it? Yeah it's the truth it is all right so let's let that out this is break free from that okay, give it by show of hands how many of you at least once in your life have allowed your thoughts or your thinking to stop you from achieving something you knew for a fact you could achieve how many of you have done that maybe more than once think what if you could move on without having that block in your life what might you be able to achieve? What are some things you might be able to accomplish good so achieve accomplice not achieve accomplish okay what I might be able to achieve what might you be able to accomplish so do that again okay by show of hands how many of you have at least once or twice in your life allowed your thoughts or your thinking to stop you from achieving something that you knew for a fact you could achieve how many of you have done that maybe more than want smile twice okay what if you didn't have to face that mental roll block where you didn't have to face those negative thoughts and you can move forward identified them and move forward? What might that be help you achieve what might that help you accomplish? Yes going keep going many years ago when it when a person that didn't pay their debt could be thrown in jail a london merchant had the huge misfortune of owing money to a moneylender he was old he was ugly but he really liked the merchants young beautiful daughter so he said to the merchant oh, I know don't go backwards you give me your daughter's hand in marriage and I'll forgive you of your debt while the money the merchant nor his daughter was thrilled about that he said well, I have another proposition all placed two pavel's of white pebble and a black pebble in this money back and she'll have an opportunity to choose a pavel if she chooses the white pebble she doesn't have to marry me and I will forgive you of your debt if she chooses a black pavel she has to marry here's something that that we can all learn from got this story going and you're moving a lot during the story that's it's not intentional movement it's moving to try tio kind of connected the whole audience and what happens is you do half of a concept here and half of a concept here okay, half of the line here half of the line here so it's a little hard to follow okay, you feel that I know e I know it I know so now all we need to do is just change it, okay that's all I mean it's not a hard thing so um for this he's this wild you say wow does it so let's just put you right here in center stage now and let's tell the story and when you're telling one particular dear the merchant had this thing with the white devil, get merchandise is staying with the black power, but but but you don't have to go back and forth. You're not like a tennis match, okay, but when finish the thought where you are, okay, and then you can make a switch over to the other one and try not to wander if you have to move and then continue on, okay? Yeah, yes, but not wandering. Okay? Let's do it from the top of the story. Just a story. Okay, many years ago, when a person that didn't pay their debt could be thrown in jail, a london merchant had the huge of his fortune of owing money to a mean money lender. The money lender was old. He was ugly, but he really liked the merchants young, beautiful daughter. So he said, well, I know you give me your daughter's hand in marriage, and I'll forgive you of your debt. Well, the merchant north daughter was thrilled about that, so he said, well, I have another idea the money lender he said, I'll take two paddles and I'll place him in a bag, a black pebble in a white pebbles so what we need to do is we need more contrast uh vocally okay we need more contrast vocally and we need more contrast pacing lives okay in order for this story to work all right? So let's tell the story to start telling this story again and when I want you to go up in your pacing I'm going like this and when I want you go down and we go like this okay see if I could see if this works many years ago when a person that didn't pay their debt could be thrown in jail a london merchant had the huge misfortune of owing money to a mean money lynn now that won't work okay no my idea for doing that up and down what work I'll try yeah so so look stay with me like tell me the story and you're going to see me move around a little bit when I know okay many years ago when a person that didn't pay their debt could be thrown in jail a london merchant had the huge misfortune of owing money to a mean money lender the money you gotta get mean money lender he was he was old he was ugly us but he really like the merchants young beautiful daughter who's young shows young beautiful saying so he said I have an idea yes so he said I have an idea beat we're waiting for the idea I have an idea you give me your daughter's hand in marriage and I'll forgive you of your debt so now we have to put this on one side and one side so I have an idea you give me your daughter's hand in marriage and I'll give you and I'll forgive you of your day you see? So you give me this and I'll forgive you of this yes yeah you gotta put it I'll give you and forgive you of this that's the first time I really heard that the first time any of you really got that in the story? Yeah. Okay, so let's go back you guys I love you gotta get is me merchant he was old ways, you know let's do it many years ago when a person that didn't pay their debt could be thrown in jail a london merchant had the huge misfortune of owing money to a mean money lender he was old he was ugly but he really liked the merchants young, beautiful daughter. So he said, ok, I have an idea you give me your daughter's hand in marriage and I'll forgive you of your debt night of the merchant nor the daughter was thrilled about that. So so they said, well, I have another idea I'll put two pebbles a white pavel and the black pebble in this money back and your daughter will have an opportunity to choose a pavel if she chooses the white pavel she won't have to marry me and I'll forgive you of your debt however if she chooses the black pebble okay get someone give me a chair in the chairman I need chair the chair over there uh on an actual chair all right let's take that chair I'm going to give it to you marty as you sit in this chair right here on your just gonna tell me this story we're still drinking you were out drinking we're at we're at home whatever you know woods halftime we're just drinking all right so so I'm talking about I got this problem I got I think you have some solution you're goingto you got the story that's going to solve all the problems right here listen to me mike mike no listen here it is here it is many years ago uh okay when when it was illegal when a person that didn't pay is that could be thrown in jail the london merchant had the huge misfortune of own money toe a mean money little joe with the ugly he was old with the ugly way but he really here really like the merchants young beautiful daughter she looked like she was beautiful she was young and beautiful she was smoking may be too young for the old are you that you want so anyway he says well you don't have an idea you give me your daughter's hand in marriage I'll forgive you of your debt on the merchant was thrilled about that either was his daughter so he said, well, I have another idea I'll place these two pebbles in this money back and if your daughter chooses a white pavel, I'll forgive you of your dad she doesn't have to marry me, but if he chooses the black pebble, she'll have to marry me and I'll forgive you of your dad however she chooses to take no paddle, you'll go to jail and she'll star, so they not you know they reluctantly the merchant agreed to that so the conversation took place along the pedal string pad in the back yard when he picked that went down to pick up the two pavel's the daughter who was sharp eyed with fried she notice he picked up too black pebbles and placed them in the money bag and he says, okay, young lady it's time that you choose the pebble that will determine your face on and that of your father's. Now my question is imagine that you were in that yard that imagine that you were that merchant's daughter fellas, I know that's a little bit difficult but play with me what would you have done? What would you have done if you were advised to, uh if you will let me ask you a question guys he's not seem different right what's different about it what's different if you have a mic, use it. Holy himself, he's. Not like now. I'm going to go into some role of a storyteller giving a public speech. Yeah, yeah. You feeling? Yeah. Yeah. What else you say? The role? The role that you were talking about when you adopt the role of a friend at a bar just telling the story it just transformed you that's. Exactly right when you as an actor, when you do a monologue and there's nobody else on stage when you were a young actor, you do monologues to get, you know, summer stock, whatever to get into graduate school over time you didnt do monologues, but you do the model again. You have to talk to somebody that's always your talking to somebody. And you had teo who you're talking to. I'm talking to my buddy. We're having a beer, okay? That's on the top and it was, you know, and then that influences how I talked to him. So when you're telling these stories, you've got to imagine that's who they are you're talking, you decide what's their character. So how you gonna tell the story of that person? Yeah. So then what happens as you get more sophisticated at this, you don't need to predetermine how you're going to tell him the story? So this is why the story changes every time because I might tell you the story if you were sitting right there a little bit differently that I'm gonna tell you, you see, so you start to change it, and the story has all this dinette uh uh, dinette dynamics dynamics, because I'm telling this whole group and I'm moving from person person, I'm telling briana story and a little bit, and then I turn because I feel the beat, and I know I know, chip and let me tell you, jim and I go to gym for that and then boom, boom, and now all of a sudden story is all this range and and it's dynamic, and each person has a particular personality and you're working with them so that I speak teo dave, based on the way that I think he would want me to speak to him, and I might actually start to put myself in a physical position that is similar to the way they are. So, you know, I've seen you talk like this in the story, and then I'm like girl like this when I'm talking to you because this is what you're doing now trying to imitate people, but, you know, dave sits up straight, I've noticed this it's like this a lot so we can make a connection I'm telling this story so you see, you start to make this connection with people and you made that connection to me when you're telling the story I always stop in the story made sense it was fun it was great to listen to what our folks at home saying about it says that the chair took the stiff out of him and made him relax now you get that well stand yes so that's exactly right so in rehearsal what you'll often do takeout chair tell a story in the chair to the recovery of comfort then you start to put it on its feet remember in rehearsal when we did our segment on rehearsal, we talked about table read and then you start to d'oh you start teo perform on your feet on book with your script then you know you're screwed, you start to get rid of the book and you start to perform without it's going off book and so you're moving from level to level level so you don't try to do too much at what you build into it you know you feel good, doesn't it felt that what I sat down it was way more comfortable yeah, you have moved oh my gosh, wow, isn't it amazing to watch each person work on the things they need to work on in that particular moment did you see how fast we can do it? Would you have ever imagined that with just a few directions someone would change that month that's masterful coaching and that's why I think that what the actor knows about public speaking is so important because this is the work we do is actors it's different often than the way people approach public speaking or the way people who coach public speaking approach public speaking how many of you you guys are now in the place we will start teo think of yourself as an actor and performer in your work raise your hand yeah that's everybody right there that's too short see if you work with someone else on stage and you sit in a chair and there appears to hard for the camera person because the shot is uh is you can't put both of you in the shot and it doesn't work amy and I have been working together for a little while now um but this is the first time we've done as much together at the same time because we don't normally need to do that and it's not an easy thing to do if you've ever tried to do it you'll know it's very very difficult amy is an extraordinary partner so it makes it really, really easy for may but what one of the reasons that we're able to do it I think it's because of our background as actors we know how to work with other people on a stage so we know how to change our physicality so that the other person gets the focus when they're talking but we're still open to the room so we can move well together, you know, balance out the stage and we just need to do it really well but I say that because I wanted to thank amy when I had the opportunity in front of everybody and she just extraordinary, isn't it theo say the best part ownerships of the ones where each person feels like they got the better end of the deal and that's how I feel I feel like I got the better end of the deal and hope she does too so okay, so what are they saying at home way lots of lots of comments here. Some final takeaways are coming in slowly but surely tori does says her final takeaway I can do this the all caps exclamation points red scorpio says rehearse, rehearse, rehearse rick are also says rehearsing is huge for me. Great, fantastic! Excellent uh oh there's a third thing actually the camera's not on me but now it is there's a third thing actually, I want you to go to heroic public speaking dot com to make sure that you put in your name and your e mail address so that amy and I can follow up with you and let you know when we're doing a total immersion program so that if that's something you need at that time you'll know it's happening because when we do we only open up enrollment for a few days and then we close it and then we do the immersion it's not something that you can join at any time so please make sure you go to heroic public speaking dot com and your name and email address that's all that you can do there and then we'll let you know next time there's a total immersion program so for you guys, what is most powerful yes please stand up when I walked in yesterday there is no way that I was ready to do what I started with and just like just taking in some of the things about the contrast and figured ok, I'm going to go for it but then to get the extra coaching on top of it that was just like over the top so you in this time that you work now you hadn't even done it that way before you did this because of what you learn just in the first day yes wow that's wow that's huge because the people at home thought oh he's done it a hundred times he's a speaker who speaks all the time he was able to do that simply because he was sitting here yesterday so that means if you've just tuned in today or you're just tuning in now you want to make sure that you get any time access so that you can see what he saw and learned what he learned and discover what he discovered so that you can do what he did to you great yes you haven't like mike pass the mic that's actually a question but it's going to bother me when you say like the rehearsal I know the answer but I don't know the why why not in front of the mirror uh yes I promise you I would tell you why rehearsing in front the mirror is the number one worst piece of advice you've ever been given all right let's say I'm telling a very animated story I'm telling the donkey story there's no man a little boy in the dock and then go to town if I'm watching myself tell that story it's me looking at me in mirror image doing the same exact expressions that I am doing but that's not what will happen when I'm giving this speech you are not imitating my face saying the same thing that I'm saying looking exactly like me but in mirror image it doesn't make any sense I'm responding off what I see here but if my face is doing exactly what it's doing now how can I respond? It doesn't make any sense what so ever know if you want to look at yourself all day long be my guest you know you're beautiful it's fantastic I think that's great if you want to watch yourself and put yourself on video you can look at yourself and see what you need to do here is the problem often when we put ourselves on video we start looking at things like I don't like the way my or you know what I don't like the way this looks or I don't like the way this looks and you're not looking at it for the right reasons you stopped looking at what can I do to make sure that I'm getting my point across what can I do to make sure that I am nailing this point what can I do to make sure etcetera that's why you put it on video but if you start obsessing with what you look like don't do that get other people in the room so I just don't get it I can't no I would love it if somebody out there could explain to me how it makes sense to actually perform in front of the mirror for yourself I'd love to hear it because it makes no sense to me doesn't make any sense to you whatsoever no no no has anybody dramatically changed for the better their speech because they spent hours in front of the mirror rehearsing no the answer is no yes I just like to say I this is the second time I've been in a room with both michael and amy and I had gone to philly to do training with them before I spoke on stage here it creative live and I know that had I not gone to that training I wouldn't have had as a successful courses I did and even though I'm here now in the room again I know that I'm going to take more into the next course I'm teaching so I just want to thank you both because there's always more to learn and you are both brilliant and the course is priceless I mean it's worth its weight in gold I can't imagine anyone that's watching it wouldn't be investing in this you guys are just amazing thank you so much thank you jump right in keep the energy going yes I want to say that you guys have modeled beautifully what you've been teaching which is that if you want to keep your audience engaged you need to really keep them engaged so you guys have been funny and dynamic and had us doing exercises and it was just like a great modeling so I'm excited to go back and re c you know all the things techniques to use so that I can still feel them yeah two weeks ago I was in a water sport accident and I landed on my neck and it was pretty serious and they medevac me in a helicopter to the trauma center at both more university university hospital I was on the chesapeake bay they thought I broke my neck I didn't the ct scan was clear I got a memory and it showed a number of protrusions herniation type issues with uh a few of the discs in my neck it'll be fine but I've been in a lot of pain and when I say a lot of pain I mean a lot of pain I've never seen him like this before I started yesterday I wasn't sure if I make it through the day that kind of pain and I also bit through my lip last week and I shoot painful cut in my mouth so as a performer when you can move your head very well and you can't move your lips very well going into a two day creative live is ah off putting idea but the show must go on the show must go on and I don't think anybody at home or in this room would have any idea that I was in pain at any point because a when you're performing those kinds of things start to go away their their meaning I'm not miraculously cured your focus is so intensely placed on the people in the room it's so intensely placed on the mission that you have that those things start to go away that's number one number two the endorphins that you get from performing help ease some of that pain so within a half an hour I will be lying prostrate on the ground you know out cold and then I'll recover and I'll go to the next speaking gig in two days and I'll do a couple of those so I'm not telling because I want any sympathy I'm telling you this because the show must always go on I would have been here in a neck brace absolutely if they had told me you can because you're going to get paralyzed if you move that's different but no matter what I be here so that's how much commitment I want to see you guys put into this work that it's not something you do it is a little bit up if you're going to go for it you commit you follow through you go all the way because you have the potential to be great at this you don't have to have some naturally big personality you don't have to be funny you know the look a particular way you have to tell the truth because the truth resonates okay what else you taking away yes please mike so uh do does the anxiety or the nerves or the nervousness ever go away as a professional speaker or somebody who is you know, maybe they have a different calling your profession but they're coming to speaking as a performance it will and then that's a sign that you need a bigger stage so that what you're doing keeps getting bigger you keep being challenged, your comfort zone keeps keeps being bumped out yeah, I don't think they do if you care about your audience, you don't care about your own and still go away but if you care about your audience they want so we have to do a couple more because then I know we have to wrap up this last session because it's you guys here I'll go a couple minutes over because I know you want to speak, but then we have to wrap up. I just want to say thank you so much, and one of the things I heard early on was something somebody asked about how do you, how you keep it fresh, how you make each moment new when you've done it a thousand times and you said that's the job and I just feel like you really brought it here and you really asked us to bring it and as a result of asking us, we brought it and it was an amazing, amazing experience. Thank you you're welcome you got your way we'll spend a little time talking more about that after the cameras stop ruling, but we gotta wrap up you have to wrap up, keep that applause going for these guys