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How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence

Lesson 4 of 16

The Myths and Truth About Confidence

 

How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence

Lesson 4 of 16

The Myths and Truth About Confidence

 

Lesson Info

The Myths and Truth About Confidence

Let's talk a little bit about confidence. What are the myths, what are the truths about confidence, okay? So there are three myths about confidence. Three, first of all, the first mistake that we make about confidence. We think it's a personality trait. It's not a personality trait. So, personality traits, being introverted, being extroverted. Interesting, there's new research out that shows that most peoples' personality actually changes over the course of their lifetime. You know, you might start out introverted, then you kinda span more towards being extroverted later in life, vice versa. The other thing about personality is that it is... Let me see how I wanna say this. There's a really interesting TED Talk by this super cool professor from the University of Cambridge that talks about how your personality is not actually fixed, either. So for example, he was an introvert, this guy that gave the TED Talk, this professor. But when there's something that you really believe in that mat...

ters to you, you can act out of character in order to further it. So, he's an introvert, it just drags all the energy out of him to get in front of a class and profess. But because it's something that matters to him, he can push through being introverted, act out of character for 45 minutes, and profess, and then of course he's completely gassed for the next three hours. Because introversion extroversion has more to do with what drains you, and what energizes you. I'm married to a super introvert. And he gets drained by being around a ton of people. I'm an extrovert, I get energized by being around a ton of people, and if I'm alone, I'm drained. So, you know, it's confidence isn't something that is attached to your personality. And a lot of us make the mistake of thinking, oh, that extroverted person has a lot more confidence than I do, no no no no, they're just louder, okay? (audience laughs) I was super extroverted and bossy for a very long time, did not believe in myself at all. The bossiness was coming from the insecurity. And there's a lot of folks that are very introverted and don't like to be the center of attention, because it's uncomfortable or because it drains them. But they really truly believe deeply in what they're thinking and what they do. So it's not part of your personality trait. Now, the second thing, it's not fixed. So just 'cause you have some confidence now does not mean you're gonna have it later. It's not fixed at all. And the other thing that's interesting is it's not everywhere all the time. So you might be super confident when you walk into the kitchen, like I'm super confident, I can walk into a refrigerator and just, 'cause my mom grew up on a farm and I come from a long line of farmers, and I can open up a fridge and make you anything without a recipe, 'cause that's how I was raised. Very confident in my skills in that world. There are other things that I'm not confident at all about. So it's not like if you're a confident person somewhere, you're gonna be confident everywhere. Let me show you the truth about confidence in general. Confidence is a skill. It's not a trait. It is a skill. The other thing is is that it is active. Meaning, if you stop working on it, you're not gonna have it. And the other thing about it that's kinda cool is it's situational. So again, this goes back to the thing that there could be things in your life that you're super confident about, and things in your life that you're just not confident about. And, you know, you see all the time people that have bad things happen to them and they get knocked off their game. You see people that, you know, whatever. They lose a race they're running, or an election, or they lose a piece of business, and they used to be confident, but now their world is rocked.

Class Description



AFTER THIS CLASS YOU’LL BE ABLE TO:

  • Use Mel Robbins’ five-second rule to stop negative thoughts and change your life for the better.
  • De-escalate anxiety and agitation.
  • Create mental scripts that help you overcome typical situations that get you into trouble and prevent you from acting.
  • Overcome your mental blocks and change the way you think about things.


ABOUT MEL’S CLASS:

Are you plagued by the imposter syndrome—thinking that your accomplishments aren’t real and that you’re secretly a fraud and a failure? Do you have crippling anxiety and bad habits that are ruining your chances of achieving your goals? Does your low self-esteem and negative past experience influence your thought patterns? Do you fall into the trap of self-pity that keeps you from seeing positive outcomes? If so, you’re definitely not alone.

If you want to get over these persistent, sometimes agonizing problems so you can gain a new perspective and make real, positive changes in your life, this course can help you do it. Mel Robbins is one of the most sought-after motivational instructors in the world. She’s been trusted by global brands to design and deliver life-changing, interactive experiences that inspire change, challenge thinking, encourage self-love, and accelerate personal and professional growth.

This class will help you:

  • Understand the science behind how self-doubt effects you.
  • Learn and discover ways to overcome self-doubt and have fewer negative emotions.
  • Build your self-esteem and competency skills.
  • Shed your irrational fears, stop undervaluing yourself, and quiet the inner critic.
  • Get out of your comfort zone, quiet the negative voices, and stop practicing habits of hesitation.
  • Stop hiding, being hypercritical, and feeling helpless so you can move forward and discover the path to achieve your creative endeavors.

Mel will give you concrete, actionable advice and steps you can practice to help you stop living with the constant worry that plagues and cripples your daily life. By showing you how to overcome self-doubt and build self-confidence, Mel will help you build the confidence you need to realize your dreams, whether it’s starting your own business, losing those 15 pounds that are weighing you down, or finding true love from a partner. After this class, you’ll better understand your patterns, what to do to break unhealthy habits, act with courage, self-compassion, and overcome self-doubt so you can get what you want out of life.


WHO THIS CLASS IS FOR:

  • People from all walks of life, even successful people, who want to overcome the self-doubt and the fear of failure that is holding them back and preventing them from accomplishing their dreams.
  • Those who want to gain more self-confidence so they can go after what they’re worth in their career.
  • People who want to develop stronger, deeper and more meaningful relationships and be their best self.

Lessons

  1. Class Introduction

    This segment welcomes Mel Robbins to CreativeLive.

  2. The Unique Challenge of Being a Creator

    Mel discusses how creators are particularly susceptible to the problem of imposter syndrome.

  3. Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

    Mel shares her experience during a TEDx talk where she was overcome with anxiety and felt like she didn't belong.

  4. The Myths and Truth About Confidence

    Confidence is not a personality trait; it isn't fixed and it's not omnipresent. The truth about confidence is that it's a skill you can learn.

  5. How to Develop Self-Confidence

    Mel discusses the confidence competency loop: when you try something new, you will either succeed or survive. Both success AND failure show you how to develop self-confidence.

  6. The 5 Second Rule

    Mel discusses how she came up with the 5 Second Rule. She shows how "in 5 seconds, you can change anything."

  7. What Is Self-Doubt

    Self-doubt causes you to undervalue yourself and negatively affects your life and career. But self-doubt is a learned behavior and can be changed.

  8. Self-Doubt Anxiety Has Plagued Creatives Forever

    Being in the creativity business is hard because so much of your work is personal. Mel talks about the science of habits and The Golden Rule of Habit: You can't change triggers, but you can replace the behavior.

  9. Self-Doubt Symptoms

    Mel talks about the four self-doubt symptoms: Hesitating, Hiding, Hypercritical, Helplessness.

  10. What Causes Hesitation

    What causes hesitation? When you hesitate, you're seeking validation, but validation only comes when you take action.

  11. Avoidance Coping

    Hiding, or avoidance coping, is triggered by fear. Mel discusses how to stop shrinking to avoid people, being a chicken about money or terms of contracts, and procrastinating.

  12. Hypercritical Personality

    Hypercritical personality is a self-doubt trap that can be triggered by a past failure. Mel talks about the importance of becoming the kind of person who spots the opportunity, fixates not on what could go wrong but on what might go right.

  13. Overcoming Learned Helplessness

    Triggered by insecurity and low self worth, you actively play the victim. Mel advises that we need to focus on the things that are going right, which is the key to overcoming learned helplessness.

  14. The Connection Between Anxiety and Self-Doubt

    People who are plagued by anxiety and self-doubt often have a negative tape about themselves running through their mind. It’s liberating and empowering when you start taking action and building momentum so you can gain a little ground.

  15. Student Coaching Session

    Mel answers questions from students on how to handle their own situations.

  16. The 5 Habits of Building Self-Confidence

    Mel talks about the five habits of building self confidence: 1.

Reviews

Marina Lowy
 

Let me start by saying I bought a book of hers and could not get through it. I just tuned in live today out of curiosity.. with low expectations. BUT WOW. THIS WAS FANTASTIC! As someone who teaches professionally (and has won teaching awards), I have to say I was in AWE of what a great teacher she was. Also, while she is not a licensed therapist, which some have complained about, she is so gifted in this area. WOW she has a talent! Watching her with individuals from the audience was moving, informative and inspirational! UTTERLY AWESOME! Truly glad I took the time just in case there was any value to it. THERE WAS IN FACT A LOT OF VALUE! Thanks Mel! Hey, I may even try to pick up that book of yours again. BRAVO!

Go2 Norway
 

Wow! The science-behind-typical-human-behaviors that fuel self-doubt AND clear ways to understand how to acknowledge those, and move into confidence-through-action. Easy and interesting ways to remember the points! Marvelous presenter skills -- a real model, and inspiration. Actual coaching sessions within the class to make it real. Mel is totally herself, and vulnerabilities become her strength in real-time, which class participants also lived out in real-time as well. Very memorable. And, the explanation of anxiety as a high energy state matching excitement more than calm was significant, as well as the myths about confidence (such as confidence is not about a personality; rather, action). Well organized, made sense, and I will integrate multiple parts daily! THANKS, MEL!!!

Wild Flower Murals
 

I'm training to be a life coach and have been a public muralist for years. I've been researching creativity, self initiated empowerment and positive psychology from various angles for many years- in hopes to make it accessible to many. I initially came across Mel's book and was wholly impressed by how effective yet simple the 5-4-3-2-1 book was. I am so glad I took this course, it is the best of the best of the best!!!