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How to Find Your Purpose Through Grief and Loss with Tunde Oyeneyin

Lesson 1 from: How to Find Your Purpose Through Grief and Loss

Tunde Oyeneyin, Chase Jarvis

How to Find Your Purpose Through Grief and Loss with Tunde Oyeneyin

Lesson 1 from: How to Find Your Purpose Through Grief and Loss

Tunde Oyeneyin, Chase Jarvis

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Lesson Info

1. How to Find Your Purpose Through Grief and Loss with Tunde Oyeneyin

Lesson Info

How to Find Your Purpose Through Grief and Loss with Tunde Oyeneyin

you can show up and live every single day on repeat, wake up, shower, coffee, kiss the kids, go to work, come back, put the stuff down, eat watch tv go to bed, shower rinse wash repeat within all of that. Some anxieties, some worries, some questionings or you can be here and live here because we get to live here, we get to be here today, be here in purpose on purpose, move to the day purposefully and again, purpose is power. Power is your service. What's the thing that you do that when you're doing it, you feel most alive. Alright. That little snippet you heard was from tuned is one of the world's most popular peloton instructors. She's a face for revlon, she's a Nike athlete. She explains in this episode today how she moved from a life that was stricken with a lot of grief early on to the life of her dreams if you're interested in a new life for yourself. This episode is for you. They love you. Thank you so much for being on the show. We're grateful to have you here. Well, I'd love to...

start off with a very open ended question. Uh, and this is primarily for the small handful of people who may not be familiar with you or your work because obviously we've got a lot of fans and followers of yours in our community, but for the folks who might be new to you in your work, How do you, can you orient us around who you are, your experiences, what you care about and you know maybe while you're on the show, oh gosh, my name is your name. I am first generation american. My parents emigrated here from Nigeria to live the american dream. I am a peloton instructor, a Nike athlete, first ever trainer to sign with with Nike uh, and one of the faces of Revlon, I just wrote a book. It's called speak, find voice, trust your gut and get from where you are to where you want to be. That's like the, that's like the, what is it tender? I didn't like a little spicier, I think the book part out but but yeah, we'll unpack that a little bit for us because we, we hear in audio podcast universe, we, we want the long version of everything and um, give us a little background. So your parents, you know, first generation um, in your, by the way, congrats on the book, instant new york times bestseller, uh, impacting so many people um, and obviously through the sports channel, the fitness channel that you talked about the, what you have with peloton and, and Nike is an amazing platform that you've created and cultivated for yourself, a lot of impact there. But how do you like, what are the things that you think preach talk share? Like how if people were looking to orient you in space other than because to me when you know, we came across your work and wanted to have you on the show is just, you know, you peel back the layers of the human onion and there's so much there. I'm wondering if you can talk about how you sort of got a firm grasp on on culture, like people, people know you and your story and I want you to help us understand why. I mean, I think that I'll say that I I think that our power is connected to our purpose. I think that every single human living on planet Earth and maybe the planets that we don't know about yet. I think that we're all here with purpose. I think that ego gets in the way. I think that the inability to be vulnerable gets in the way, but I think that we're all here with purpose. I think that purpose is field and service. I think that a life well lived is a life that's led in service. And when you connect to that, why you're here to serve you're connected to your purpose and then once you are able to grow your purpose, you're able to develop your power and live in power, not power, meaning power to leader to rule, but your power. That tingly thing that you feel at home when you're doing the thing that you know that you're supposed to do. I'll add to that and say that I think that the beauty of uncertainty is infinite possibility. The beautiful thing about not knowing what's next is that you don't know what's next. And so then anything can be next and knowing what, you know, keeps you only knowing what, you know. And so if there are, there's like one note about me, like a resounding theme that I continue to live by, speak by teach by every single day. I think that that's the root of it. Alright. That is sufficiently big for us to tackle in the next, in the next 45 minutes. Oh my gosh, I invited that on myself, by the way, give us the big vision. Um Okay, so part of what I learned in reading your work and researching and was that grief played an early role in helping you understand your own purpose and I'm wondering if you can share a little bit about that and you know, perhaps I'm guessing there are many ways into one's purpose, but what do you know about aside from your own experience, helping people find their purpose? Because for those listening right now are watching, you know, I don't think anybody doesn't want to know what their purpose is, but how to find it and where to look and what experiences cultivate that. That's where we have a lot to potentially learn from you. Yeah, I'll start with the first point, I experienced a lot of loss and tragedy before even my 30th birthday. Um I lost my little brother when he was 19 years old, three years after that and I was wildly unexpected. Three years after that, I lost my dad also, very unexpected. And then three years after that I lost my mother. And so I lost six of or rather I lost three of my immediate family members within six years of one another. I think that at that point after tremendous last minute, last minute last rock bottom, rock bottom even lower. I think that the world, the world being, the people around me, my friends, people I worked with, people would have given me and out they would have made concessions. They would have said her joy is gone. But she's been through a lot. She's not the same, but she's been through a lot. And I think I did stay in that space for some time. The darkness and then one day it was a matter of realizing that I don't get to choose what happens to me, but I do get to choose how I react and that every single day was a new day. And so I wanted to meet each day new. I chose I decided to live because they cannot as it relates to purpose and someone finding their purpose. If you I feel like if you sit you really sit and you think about it, there are moments when you thrive under pressure. There are moments when you thrive under pressure. Maybe not all the time, but there are things that you do that you find that you thrive when the pressure is on. I think that when you peel back the layers and when you really sit and think about why what is it that lives within those moments that almost comes easy to you. Doesn't mean that there's not conflict. But what are those things that come easy to you? Because it feels good to be doing it? I think your purpose lives in that jay z speaks to it and he says that when he's creating music, it's almost like he becomes music. Many authors will say that when they're writing it, it's the hum, the hum takes over and the hum is writing and you look down and there's chapters written in my book speak. I referred to it as this drum beat that I feel like this thing inside of me that takes over. And I know the right thing to say and do in that moment because when I'm leaning into it, the drum beats louder. And so I just continued to step towards the drum. It's as if the wrong thing can't happen in that moment. I think that when you recognize those moments in your life, when again you thrive under pressure when you recognize it and then you create more moments that allow you to tap into that frequency, You are better able to recognize your purpose. And once you do that, once you recognize your purpose, you can create more moments that allow you to live in purpose. Now, maybe not every day all day, but maybe most days, maybe not all day, but maybe at some points within the day, the title of your book speak. Um it's something that I, so again, you're aware that the community listens to the show and the community built around the show are largely identified as creators as entrepreneurs or creative curious and they either know this passion or are seeking and want to connect with this purpose as you say. And I've always advocated not, didn't know this intuitively until I went through, you know, long process myself. But this idea of finding voice again, I'm going to repeat the title of the book for people speak, find your voice, trust your gut and get from where you are or where you want to be. So this relationship between finding your voice and trusting your gut. I'm wondering if you can speak more about that and and specifically the trusting your gut part, because I find that that's the hardest thing to do. And there are people who are listening right now are like, how do I know what's my gut and what's going to send me down the wrong path? And and and people do frank frank truth is people get horrible advice all the time. That's a big one. Um, I mean, it's also like, what do you define as the wrong path because may be the wrong path is ultimately the right path. I I don't think that doubt is a bad thing. I actually welcomed out now, I'll rewind and say that doubt does not feel good dot doesn't feel good, it's uncomfortable. It feels like it's internal friction friction. Some people say Ajira heat, heat, indigestion. Uh, doubt doesn't feel good, but I think that when doubt enters its the universe trying to make way for a course correction in your life, I think that the friction, the tense feeling is created because we fight doubt, we fight uncertainty. We question uncertainty. I think that when you're able to welcome space for doubt, it brings down that discomfort that burn and then you open yourself up to the message that's trying to make its way in whether you're doubting a relationship with a friend, a friend that sucks your soul, whether you're doubting a relationship with your partner, whether you are doubting your career or your next business venture, doubt isn't a bad thing, it's opportunity, It's questioning trying to make its way in. I opened by saying the beauty of uncertainty is infinite possibility. Was uncertainty that has led me into this moment. Every opportunity has come out of the uncertainty that led me to this moment. I was a makeup artist for at that time, I think 12 years my work has been featured in Vogue. I'd worked with some of the world's top celebrities, I've worked my as I don't know if I can curse on here. I worked, I I've worked my butt off for my dream job and one day I had the audacity to wake up and look at myself in the mirror and admit to myself, I hated my job. And I felt um guilty for hating the job because I knew that people would have killed for my job at one point would have killed for that job. And I woke up one morning and I admitted to myself that I hated and when I did that I felt so lust because this is what I worked for, and now it's here and I don't want it. And the gift there was not knowing the gift and the doubt, feeling the discomfort, all of that. The gift there was that I was able to open myself up to what was actually next when you think, you know what's next, when you're certain about what's next, you find yourself in this state of tunnel vision, you're looking for opportunities that only exist within the route that you think you're supposed to be taken. And so if something comes to you and it doesn't fit within the framework of what you think you're supposed to be doing next, you say no when you don't know what's next, when you're uncertain, you open yourself up. So when opportunity comes, you're open to it because you know what the hell you're supposed to be doing next. So when this opportunity came in to teach cycling classes and I've never been a coach in my life makeup was what I knew I was open to receiving this message. This message that thank God I listened to because it moved me into a space where everything that I've asked for is arriving is here and all at the same time, things that exist that shouldn't even make sense together to live in the same moment they exist because I allowed myself to be okay with doubt, I'll end this and say this moment and say, I don't think that failure is a bad thing rewind. I don't think that failure is real. I think that failure is something that we tell ourselves so that we can stop and we can give up when you watch Children. I think watching Children is one of the most beautiful things where growth for us, The person who's watching, where growth happens when you watch a toddler who's crawling for the, you know, learning to crawl and they're attempting to walk. You know, that one day their crawl is gonna turn into walk, it's a matter of time and repetition and practice. It's a matter of not succeeding and then trying again, you know, this, the toddler, the child, they don't know this, they don't know that they too will walk like the people that they see walking, all they know is that they will continue to try for the child, failure doesn't exist. All they know is that they should continue to attempt, I think that when you look at your life, the thing that you want, that you're afraid of going after. If you told yourself that it cannot fail in this, what would you have the audacity to dare for to dare to achieve? How does this this uncertainty that we this this comfort with uncertainty because the child doesn't know the next moment if they're gonna walk or crawl or what the they just are pursuing their gut, their instincts, all of those things that you spoke of, how does that come to dominate and paralyze us as adults? Like what's the what's the difference? What's what is happening to the adult that if we're going to give advice to them right now, what do we have to pay attention to in order to turn that down or to mute it or to play through it or to live with it and keep going? Like what, what's the difference between the kiddos and us? I think that it is so much easier to allow fear to steer. It is so much easier to allow fear to hold us hostage because if we don't try but don't try never get right right? If we don't try, never get but if we don't try, we can never fail and I use failing quotes, we don't try, we can never fail. And if we don't fail, then we didn't fail. And I think that we put so much focus on winning, that it isolates us from actually winning. I think the wind is going after it. I think the we were so focused on the goal that we forget to stay rooted in the journey. The gift he's going after it. That sh it feels good. That feels good to say you tried it to say you tried it. I would rather not succeed and try again than live in this questioning space of should've could've would've, should've could've, would've, for me is painful. It's a painful space to be. The universe continues to show me that it's got my back. This I'm saying this is somebody who's lost half of their immediate family members. The universe continues to show me that it's got my back. I auditioned for peloton after my audition. They told me one of the best auditions they'd ever seen and I didn't get the job not to say that life does like, you know, I when people sit and you know, they read my book, they know more about me. But before the book, you know, people look at me and say, wow, life comes really easy to you. I used to get wildly offended by that, but now I just chuckle and I laugh because I think to myself, wow, I guess it all just seems seamless. Um but life continues to show me that when it doesn't go in my favor, it is actually still going in my favor because everything is always going in my favor. I lost my family members. I would do anything to have any one of them back. Even if just for a moment and in losing them, I stepped into the greatest version of myself. I didn't get the job the first time around and I was not supposed to, I wasn't supposed to, it was divine timing. I was supposed to start when I started the opportunities that came within 68 months that I started. Those opportunities existed because of when I started um, I think, you know, and then some people might say, well how well how well how I think that once you can believe and not just say to yourself and repeat, you can truly believe that everything is happening for you and nothing is happening to you. It's happening for me, not to me Then when opportunity presents itself, when conflict presents itself, you realize that even conflict was put here in your favor. Conflict is happening in your favor. You didn't get the job, you did a shitty job presenting in the meeting. You didn't get out the points when you were speaking to your boss, didn't get out the point that you wanted to perhaps it was happening in your favor and don't see this now. And it makes zero sense right now. But when I look back later and I look at the breadcrumbs that connect I realized that things had to go that way to end this way. That doesn't mean don't give your best all the time. But it means that even when you gave your best felt like was your best and things didn't go in your favor, wait, wait and trust that the truth will reveal itself. The truth, all the parts will reveal itself whenever you're ready to see it. You said something love that first of all, but you said something fascinating and it was just double down on when you believe and I was just saying it was when you believe it. So it seems like that is a very critical piece because you emphasized it so crisply. How do you Lean into that? You're just imagine there's 100,000 people right now asking for your advice and great, I'm I'm in I'm in what's the difference between saying it and then at a cellular level believing it. I think that you have to acknowledge and give gratitude, acknowledge and give gratitude what gratitude is due and then the universe continues to provide when things don't go your way and say that something happens, you didn't get the job, didn't write it down, write it down, you didn't get the job, write it down six months later, a year later, two years later, three years later, whatever it is, look at your life, write that down, start to connect these dots and say, oh my gosh, I wasn't supposed to get that because if I got that I would have moved to new york and this is my story would have moved to new york and I moved to new york, I would have never started cycling. It was cosmetic, job was supposed to have your story may be different. I was supposed to move to Seattle and if I never moved to Seattle, I wouldn't have met Brenda and fell in love with the love of my life, whatever your story is, right, I think that when you're able to write things down and then in x amount of time turn around and visualizing visually, see and say this went this way, because when you're able to do that, when you find yourself in an opportunity or again in conflict later, you trust that things went in my favor before. I'm trusting that they will go in my favor now, I do not see it now. And it's like, you know I'm saying right now write these things down, but if you sit the person whoever is on the other end, if you're here and you're listening to this, you can sit and think about moments in your life when things didn't go your way and how in hindsight, you look back and you realized that everything was actually going your way when you could realize that this has happened in your life more than once, more than twice, more than three times. Then you can believe then not just say to yourself, you can believe then that history, let's say that you're somebody who rolls by data. Data shows me that I've won before, data shows me that I've succeeded in spite of and so I'll believe and more importantly I'll trust that the data will be on my side again. Mhm. I think you know you're a kid and think about like you're in the sandbox and something happens as a kid as a child, you can rewind back that far. Something happened when you're playing with friends at school or the sandbox whatever. And it seems like this grand problem. Fast forward 30, 40, 50 years later. You look back now. That problem that seems so grand. It actually wasn't that big. Everything turned out. Okay. Is it possible then, even though the moment seems larger now because life moves faster now, is it possible that one day you'll look back and this grand moment won't seem so grand either wisdom. Um I'm conflicted here because I want to go to different directions so I'm gonna put a pin in one in that direction. I'm gonna say it out loud. So don't forget it is all of the different ways that you have manifested um just showing up and and what an interesting amalgam of different ways that you get your message out in the world. Put a pin in that because I want to keep polling on this um this speak acronym right? Speak being the title of the book, but also you know this surrender power empathy authenticity and knowledge framework that you have. So because I feel like this this surrender power empathy, authenticity and knowledge track is court. We were just talking about. I'm hoping you can help help us understand that. Tell a little bit more about it as I just laid it out there and then we'll go back and I'll find out how you've made sense of this amazing multifaceted career that you've built for yourself. But I feel looks a lot more like what the careers of the future will look like for others. So but let's first do this due to speak, acronym Yeah, surrender power, empathy, authenticity and knowledge when I surrender it results in growth. Growth that leads to change my power as I spoke to earlier, Power Being what connects you to your purpose, how you're here to serve empathy is rooted in love, not just empathy for others because I think that part's easier. It's empathy for self. I don't know how to love you if I don't know how to love myself. I don't know how to love you if I don't know how to love myself first because I don't even have the tools then to love you authenticity is the intersection of truth and trust. When I trust myself enough. When you trust yourself enough to show up as you truly are. The intersection of trust and truth. When you say to yourself, I'm going to show up in this meeting the same way as I'll show up in the next because I trust that who I am and what I'll say in the message that I give and the morals that I stand by a trust that that's enough. And then lastly knowledge, I think that echoes of the past inform the future. When I made the shift in my career from makeup artist and educator, I was I would travel around the country training makeup artist when I made that shift into fitness, it seems like this like grand shift. But when I reflect what I did in the world of cosmetics, informed, informed what I do in this world. Now, I was a trainer, I was a coach. I motivated people to tap into a better tap into their artistry. I got into the world of makeup because I enjoyed gifting people with confidence in the world of fitness and health. Gift people with confidence by virtue of this book, I gift people with confidence. And so when I sat down to write the book, I looked at those five words as elements and how those elements played a role in in my life. Mm one thing that's fascinating to me is again, hold on to that framework is I feel like most people um understandably, but I think uh inaccurately and potentially even harmful. E feel like they have to connect the dots in the going forward. You talked a lot about connecting the dots looking backwards. Like you can see that this led to that and that led to this. And I have often times like how I started off taking pictures of my friends skiing, snowboarding, surfing, skateboarding and you know, how did that turn me into an author or you know, being on television or a guest at the White House or like these things are not connected at all. And the thinking is if you want to, you know, do things and be a person that you want to believe in and feel good about in the future that you have to, there's a certain thing that set of things that you have to do in order to get there because we're programmed culturally and taking pictures of my friends and myself skateboarding don't equal in any sort of linear path, those outcomes. And by extension, I, I only say that because I know my own confused relationship with those things and let's just talk about yours for a second. You here you are on Good Morning America here, you're on the Today Show makeup artist, peloton instructor, fitness coach that typically doesn't turn into new york times bestseller, you know, arguably, you know, tv celebrity and person who leads millions of people around the world to pursue their dreams. So what would you say to somebody that is, has high aspirations for this one precious life who think that the thing that they are doing right now can't possibly lead to the other thing. You go back to gut, you go back to the speak acronym? What, you know, what's the, what's the guidance that you give someone who's asking those questions? I mean to be blunt, I would say you've gotten so good at believing your own lie. That's what I'd say. You've gotten so good at believing the story that you continue to tell yourself over and over again. The voices in our heads were the only ones that can hear them. And that's what gives those words so much power. The same thoughts that we run on, repeat over and over. Maybe you flex through like five different thoughts within the day that you keep coming back to. Maybe that's one of them. I'd say to stop believing that I'd go back to the word surrender, surrender and in the fullest meaning of the word let go of what you think this is supposed to be let go of the way that you think things are supposed to go, how it's supposed to turn out. I dropped out of college my last year because I wanted to uh rent a U haul. I rented a U haul and put my car on the back of it and shift myself in all my belongings from texas to California because I wanted to pursue my dream of being a celebrity makeup artist and I think that was something that like I'd come back to and had thoughts about and when I started to question what I was doing with my life in this cosmetic cosmetics world when I started to realize that I was no longer passionate about it in that, in that way I I was nervous. I had so much doubt because I thought, oh my gosh, I didn't finish school. I think the irony there is. I was asked last year I spoke at both Princeton or spoke at for both Princeton and Howard University. And as I'm there is speaking from two of the most prestigious colleges in the country, I'm thinking to myself, I allowed this feeling of unworthiness. I allowed this to dictate for so long. And then the irony there is now these two things don't make sense. Who said things are supposed to make sense. Is it making sense? A little barring who said things are supposed to make sense. I don't think that there is any one size fits all. I mean, we've all heard this. You know, growth isn't isn't linear, There's ups and downs as highs, there's lows or speaks, there's values, you know, and so if success can go up and down and move around then, is it true that our interests can bump around too, that we can live in this world of both. Ands I'm a fitness instructor and I'm one of the faces of a cosmetic line. I lift heavy weights and I wear red lipstick. Like these two things exist at the very exact same time. And then somehow people were interested enough to grab my book, it makes absolutely no sense. And yet it makes perfect sense, because at the end of the day, what's true in each avenue is that I'm showing up as myself, I don't change who I think I'm supposed to be. So if you're rollerblading and then you're at the White House, if ultimately you're still the same guy, the reason people gravitated to you, because you roller bladed, and the reason people gravitate towards you at the White House, it's the same people gravitate to you. There's a likeability there, right? I think when we start to try to change up who we are to live in these different realms, these different worlds, that's when sh it doesn't fit. That's when sh it doesn't work because we put on this facade of who we think people rather. We put on this facade of how we think people think we should show up when truly people want you to show up in this way. The same that you did in that way, because we liked you in that way. And just again, do that here, does that make any sense? It? So, this is exactly and in a cool way, it's coming back to the thing that I put a pin in, you know, five minutes ago, which is how in the hell have you showed this crazy as career of yours together, and right now, there's someone thinking that they have to fit in a box and be linear. And that's the only way that they can sort of breakthrough. We've heard about focus and, you know, and, and pursuit and all these things. And yet the examples that we find, whether it's, you know, many of the smartest, brightest, most successful people in the world did not pursue anything that looks like the traditional path. And yet we still idolize the traditional path. And if you're going to dissect your bio, I mean, you just basically did that, right? You're like born in texas, uh, you know, celebrity makeup artist, now, face of revlon fitness instructor, first trainer to, you know, to sign with Nike, you gotta, you know, you basically ride a bike every day and thousands of people tuned in to watch you. That ship didn't exist 10 years ago, let alone 100 years ago, you made that up and it works like this is, I don't know, there's someone right now who's, and it largely it's it's me, I believe all this stuff deeply. But if this is this is new to you, what do you tell someone like that? Is this is this just keep pulling on the thread that you feel is right? And despite trying to, you know, you shouldn't try and put all the pieces together because that's the university's job and it's your job just to be you if I'm trying to paraphrase what I just heard, but what's what's the medicine give people some medicine. I mean my story and I'm not suggesting that someone followed my story, do it your way, I didn't try to do all of it at the same time. These were all thoughts. I'm 13 years old, I think I was £200 at the time and I said to myself, I wanna be a Nike athlete. I, after my very first cycling class rewind after taking my very first cycling class, I have this divine download of information, slap me in the face. I call it this blue light moment where within a matter of five seconds after my first taking my first class, I feel this wave of blue energy move from my fingers to my toes. And I say to myself, you are going to do this, you're going to be teaching cycling classes, you will do it on the world's biggest platform. I didn't even know what Peloton was at the time and tens of thousands of millions of people, you'll have the opportunity and to impact their lives. I saw this chase and I was sure, and I don't know why, but I was sure and it all just started happening. You know this, that that happened while I was on a trip in new york. I get back to L. A, imposter syndrome sets in, imposter syndrome tells me I don't have the body to be an instructor, I don't look like them, don't sound like them, no one will find me motivating inspiring. My voice is absolutely annoying. No one's gonna want to take my class like these are all the things that I say to myself and then I called myself a liar and then I called myself a liar. I think his name is Jack Canfield. He wrote the, what was it? The chicken soup for the Soul. I think it was like in the nineties two thousands popular. He wrote many books but I can't remember which book this came from. But he said to ask people, people close around you, where do you see me limiting myself? Where do you see me limiting myself? And I ask myself that same question. Would I see me limiting myself And when you ask these people that you trust around you this question um be very prepared for and open to a very truthful response. Mm Yeah. I don't think that I I knew all of this was gonna come like this. And I'm sure there were moments where I most definitely as one opportunity was coming I told myself well I need to put a pin in the other thing because that doesn't even make sense. But then I would involuntarily, the pin would be taken out because people would ask questions, oh we know you also do this, Do you want to try this? And Oh yeah, I can do that. Sure. And I do it. And I see that people would respond well and then somebody else would say take a pin out of this and then I started just taking the ship, the pins out myself. I was like well if you guys are showing me that I that I so now I'm like okay well what else is next? And so I'm working on these other different things and if no one is requiring me to slow down then why why should I be the one to deliver that information? Uh that news to myself, why a life of purpose on purpose is a phrase that I know you for. What do you mean by that? What's the on purpose part in purpose, on purpose of purpose? Live here, be here, do this in purpose, on purpose of purpose. You can show up and live every single day on repeat, wake up, shower, coffee, kiss the kids go to work, come back, put the stuff down, eat, watch a tv, go to bed, shower, rinse wash repeat within all of that. Some anxieties, some worries, some questionings, doubting what you know to be true. I think most of us do or you can be here and live here because we get to live here, we get to be here today. I'm not just saying it like your respective country. I'm saying you've got to woke, you were able to wake up today so be here in purpose on purpose. Move through the day purposefully and again, purpose is power, Power is your service. What's the thing that you do that when you're doing it, you feel most alive, is it painting writing? You can be surfing. Maybe it's helping other people. My accountant really loves what he does. I hate math numbers. Give me a migraine. But he loves that sh it, he wakes up and does and he feels that he's living a life in service and that for him is his purpose. For me, my purpose is to lead. I think that my purpose or rather my gift is relatability and through that I'm able to lead. That's when I feel most alive. That's when I feel most connected to my drum beat. Find the hum and then once you discover what that is, create more opportunities, create a path that allows you to move with that frequency more often. That's how you live on purpose. Um thank you so much. And again, congratulations on a work of genius. Again, most recent books, most recent work is your book, Speak the subhead is find your voice, trust your gut and get from where you are to where you want to be out this past spring, instant new york times bestseller. Congratulations, totally brilliant. And for the folks clearly you have captured the hearts and minds of a lot of watchers and listeners. Is there anywhere else that you would steer us to get more of you like where if you got a couple of arrows and you can, you can your flashlights, you can shine a light on some things. Where else would you, would you steer us? Oh my gosh, I don't even know how to answer this question. Um, you find me on peloton op uh, you talked about in my book, you know, I I guess I'm the worst self promoter ever. I have an instagram. You can find me to into Tuesday. Um, yeah, I don't know how to answer that question. Find me anywhere and everywhere all the time. Thank you so much for being, you know, this idea of help of helping understand grief and all these. You know, these disparate points in our lives and starting to connect those dots to find our purpose on purpose. Uh, to use your phrase, Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us. Congrats again on the book. Um, you consider yourself a friend of the show, please anything and everything you're doing. We'd love to help you celebrate it here. Um, grateful for your time today. Thank you so much. Likewise. So great to be here. Thanks for having me. Thanks for listening everybody. All right, everybody out there in the world. Um, two days work is worth your attention. Grateful for your listening ship, your support of the show. And thanks again until next time from today myself. We both did. You do

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