Revisit, Revise, & Recommit


Money Management for Couples


Lesson Info

Revisit, Revise, & Recommit

Commit to a vision what do you want really, really simple way to do this we commit to blank by blank so weakened blank black blank so for us my husband especially he wants to have whatever he says to do what he wants whatever he wants whenever he wanted no matter the cost that's the ultimate vision we commit to doing what we want whatever we want whenever we want no matter what the cost older ultimately that's what we really want he thought of it I'm like I like that out more than anything I like flexibility in quality of life that's all I really need I already have most of it a few little things help more people mean thing another goal we have we commit to winning the money game you don't have just one vision money as you want what's winning the money game when you're passive income exceeds your expenses the money game you got to play in a game it's just a game how fun by when we said we commit to winning the money game by december eleventh like stepping on his birthday two thousand n...

ineteen so we can help more people so we can what's most important us helping more people be so easy when the money game when we're just helping more people by the way I'm reading do you notice I'm reading here? I'm reading my notes to know why we revisited this last night column every night call him every break what can I do better got help more people oh that's good that's good I'll do that okay get awesome I talked to him because where I was like ok we're going I'm going doing this and I see what should I change is always amazing feedback he pretty much is down this whole course you just don't know it but we wanted to revisit it and revise it because we're always changing in really can't that's what we want to want him and when the money game great example telling that you know awesome commit to a plan by the way this is in your manual vision is on one twenty six it gives you two two parts right just due to tio two drafts you want to keep making it better commit to a plan um arvid do you have the you have page one twenty seven open by chance on the top it says to a plan can you read for may please nice and slowly so everyone at home can hear you what does that say under to a plan revisit revise re commit oh great advice so you have reminders in here and I keep telling you that because if you're anything like me like to make things perfect do it perfectly and you don't have to you just have to do it don't let perfect get in the way of possible get it done? What does it say here it's important for you to develop habits and rituals that will help you constantly improve and grow grow your money and your relationship over that again, since I've loved it is important for you to develop habits and rituals that will help you constantly and constantly improve and grow your money and your relationship without the proper revisiting, revising and re committing both your money in your relationship could suffer that's just a possibility, so check it out in this section we will schedule actions for you to take on a regular basis. Get ready to schedule if you have your counter take it out if you don't write on a piece of paper's, I know you're not allowed to bring phones in here and let's revisit revised re commit to these daily rituals intentions is anyone remember it's on your sheet? What are the three use unconditional love on conditional of no accepting, unconditional acceptance and understanding and understanding I'm asking you now to plan this okay, can you commit to doing that? So what needs toe happen to make sure that you do it? This is the key because it's you might say, well, I'm not sure how to schedule something that happens every day maybe you need to have a reminder that pops up every morning when your alarm goes off and it says intentions rules questions or maybe one day it says unconditional of unconditional acceptance understanding just to remind you and then you just commit you say today don't worry about tomorrow today I will be unconditionally loving today I will be unconditionally accepting today I will be understanding get through the day just have those intentions cool what are the rules? Thank you who has him take out your map check it out nurture don't mag admit your mistakes don't fix your partner no judging no blaming no excuses awesome if you don't like those rules make up your own do what you need to do so that you are successful has to resonate with you you don't like my rules he has different rules I don't care but the rial kicker here what you're scheduling you have to figure out how am I going to make sure that that happens? What is my success formula it's your personal success formula erica what do you think would be a good success formula for you to remember the intentions rules and I'll teach you the questions in the site. So success formula like you explain that for the intentions of being in the morning you say that is that as an option? Yes yes you know round one should direct um I like maybe having this in a little frame by the front door perfect that's a great idea and how hard is that super easy so printed out frame that you could do it on that but you could probably just, you know, make a little like you know those cute things read it they just have words on, you know, it's kind of a nice little sure that's how I am how you doing it? Yeah, and it's just like, you know, unconditional love, unconditional acceptance, understanding that's perfect. So then what you need to schedule is making that happen, so I'm gonna put my schedule by next friday. I'm gonna make sure that printed out and, uh, you know, in a nice frame or something like that, that makes sense cool. Let's, take a look at the map. What did we just do? First, you need to be committed to whom you commit to each other right, then commit to a vision. Okay, so what did you give me about someone who has a one handy? Anyone already said him, but let's put on the map committed to total transparency, total transparency. Okay, so you can write it however you want to write it. I'm doing shorthand here. Total transparency of finances you can write, I vow to have whatever whatever works for you. Okay, did you have a vision? The two of you, you have a vision, good job writing a town, michelle I'm gonna let you write and I'm going to move over to erica because I want you to write it down I'm very proud of you for using a pen the girl talked about my favorite pen which is really I think it's really a struggle for me good this is you're having breakthroughs I think you told us that during a break right yeah okay let me share with you so you know the joke back home so michelle was saying that she has like she really doesn't like to write in books especially with a pen and when she went home that day to talkto arvid about the course and how awesome it is and told him all these vulnerable things he grabbed the book and grab the pen and started to write and she's like no and she goes and he wrote with a pen he didn't even use a pencil and he's scratching things out and what did she dio zipped it right I shouldn't say anything for like the first time you just didn't say anything is gonna be like you know she accepted that should unconditional love amazing little things right okay vision who wants to give me a vision I stole you I saw your great that's fine they're totally you are allowed to steal winning the money game yeah it's a good one right doing the money game by when july fourth two thousand nineteen by july fourth nineteen perfect so you can what make the world a better place make world he wrote it down right yeah daily what did we just do? Intentions rules questions I'm going to tell you the questions in just a minute I think it's after the map let me double check yeah oh that's intense here we go intentions rules to remind you and questions so let me go to questions ok you already have that that's just a review is want to make sure you saw it so I just all I did was just go through intentions which you know they use the rules and go back to us to say the rules nurture don't nag admit your mistakes don't fix your partner no judging no blaming no excuses for me that's in my daily maybe for you like maybe you have a pattern just a pattern of running that you are blaming a lot and maybe it's just it's it's not something you're ready to commit to on a daily basis do you have to put it under daily no no it's not my money map money mastery map it's yours so you can put these wherever you want it doesn't have to be these I just want to make sure you have a plan so here's your plan and if you if you want to do different plan a different plan but make sure you schedule it so we're scheduling it so this is daily so those things that intentions in the rules that just to something you need to be conscious of, you need to be aware of so that you take action so you have success what's the a abundance and success great, awesome. Here the questions as I mentioned my husband, I have done this for the last three years since two thousand eleven, every single night when we were at a town, we texted, or we do it over the phone, sometimes email, we make sure we do it. It's just this is just a commitment that we decided to make, and we believe that if we say this every night doesn't have to be night, but that's, what we do, if we say this every night of our lives together, we will always be together. We will always be a focus on what's important what are you grateful for? You know, I said I'm grateful to have opportunity to speak it created live. I'm grateful that the people in the audience are awesome and they're so open and honest, the people in home get to learn from them. I'm grateful that my husband doesn't ever stop helping me and grateful that my daughter is coming on friday, my husband, we're going to camp family camp, it's really fun, we do three things, sometimes we have more but typically it's just boom boom boom now it was at times when we first started doing this, this conversation would go to like twenty thirty minutes when we first started or sometimes we just have a lot to share sparks another conversation with what are we grateful for? Creative live and then we're talking about how awesome it was, how much fun they had can't believe it's already over almost right whatever it is it's like now we're focused on being grateful sometimes it's longer and then typically it's very short boom boom boom what grateful for I'm grateful of those three things I just said my husband says I'm grateful for this this and this and I'm so and and what are your accomplishments or what did you accomplish today? Three things what three things and you accomplish to the erica? Well, I think at the end of the day I'll be able to stay at my money map also so let's just say what you already accomplished today right now since tonight you'll be able to say that now you accomplish starting the most money mastery map right you accomplish filling out those parts that's something to celebrate that's a baby step you did it especially because I made you what else um I have vows money vow is now have money vows it's a huge accomplishment how many people in this world have money? The house probably one, two, three, four five plus my husband at six and anyone else who's taken this course or learn from me about money about no one knows the money balls are made it up now you have money that's how cool is that what's an accomplishment arvid making here tio I was going to say you're here give him a hand again so amusing made it here like what? How amazing is that so here's what's cool if you ever get stuck in your like you're so used to not not noticing and not focusing on your own accomplishments that maybe this is awkward for you and you have to right now talk about yourself and what you're grateful for by the way I'm grateful to be alive would be just fine I'm grateful I have two arms and none of them have been amputated even though I keep using that analogy what did you accomplish today? I got up I came in front of the room in front of thousands of people and spoke the truth open my heart I was supportive I mean there's a ton they don't have to be huge I made my wife a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that's an accomplishment whatever it wass accomplishment arena I was honest or I am being honest about myself and my my beliefs and where I I have discovered I have fallen short in my self talk and in my conversations and discovering what's holding me back and really what you've discovered not that you really followed sure you have fallen short but that you can be even better I'm just catching on the things I do it all the time that's how I know it so well and so get a beating myself up like a master of that so just cool to start using new language because when you start catching yourself like you'll start doing it everywhere business even when you talk to your clients you know you're really focused on on even the positive okay great rachelle I think I missed you so far I was socially responsible which is something that I'm really trying to be super proactive on I was socially responsible when my alarm clock didn't go off this morning and I was an hour and a half late and I called kate to say we're running late but we'll be there as fast as we can and we still got here on time and I didn't get flustered that's what I accomplished they didn't get it that's huge because I'm guessing from the way you said it that you usually you get flustered yes and I wrote with pen in a book yeah eyes of the celebrating great so can you see? I mean I don't think I have to ask but can you see how with every night or every day you say three things that you're grateful for and you say three things that what three things that you did what you accomplished today yes how that could help you and your partner have a better relationship if you're not in a relationship if you did it to see how that would help your life uh let's focus on what's awesome not what sucks number three what makes you feel loved just one thing here just a reminder and we repeat things did I mention next we feel love when you play with my hand okay so here you remember you said man it seems so contrived if he tells me what I should do to make him feel loved it just doesn't feel is good well it's not about you it's about him find out kidssafety told you every single night a new thing that makes them feel loved you have something new to do tomorrow awesome and what do you love about me? Hey number getting on me a rear we don't always ask the question we just say I feel loved when you tell me you love me let's say and then I say and I love that you're always willing to help I love that you're so creative you don't have to ask that last one you just kind of say it because it feels it does feel a little weird to be like you say what makes you feel love and then if he sometimes forgets to say what he loves about me that I'm like and what do you love about me you remember honey the last part great will that help your life just just asking one more time yeah, ok cool to like him and yeah a lot you can change him you could totally change him but it would be it just worked for us okay, what do you do a weekly just to remind you the one shot weakly format so easy fifteen minutes fifteen minutes to just say these things right? I love what? What give them a compliment to give her a compliment how aiken raise myself to a higher standard me how I careers myself too high a standard what I can do just this week one thing just one thing is the one chat weekly format one action item you can do it as many as many things as you want but I want you just to commit to your partner during this one chat but the one thing and she can hold you accountable he can hold you accountable. Hey, he said you're gonna do that not to judge you and get that hey you didn't do that thing because there's no blaming or not coming next week oh I told you I was going to do this thing and I didn't do it because that's excuses wow because of the rules right if you don't do it fine maybe you'll have the same action step next week don't make yourself wrong you just say it plain and true I didn't do it I said I wouldn't I didn't and hey why don't you throw another rule in admit your mistakes I didn't do it but I'm committed to doing it this week I'm sorry didn't get it done and no one's you know yelling down your throat about it truth what are you afraid to say? What don't you want to say say that what do you do monthly now I'm just reviewing right? You know this stuff it's all in your manual everything we've gone over has four tabs really simple goals now we just visited goals and you're going to do it again and then you can go put those goals on your monthly spread she your kim jim networth money mask action you know this stuff just remind you after you do your money day don't forget do something you really like to do anything maybe it's going out the ice cream maybe it's putting ice cream on your honey I don't know reward yourself money day most people don't do but guess who does do it wealthy people they don't call it a kim jin money date okay that's my stuff but they look at their money regularly what do you do quarterly? We just did this awesome you just did your vows every quarter you gotta mark your calendar, so schedule it so let's take it out. I forgot to make you schedule it. Geez! All right, ready? Schedule your weekly money. One chat sorry schedule your one shot weakly format. You already did this right? You decide the date right? A day of the week. Best time write that down. You can always reschedule it monthly. I think you probably already did this. I'm just reminding you schedule it. Well, let's do it. The fifth of the month doesn't have to be the same every time but scheduled the next one on august fifth, we're going to meet have our money date maybe you're not gonna have everything done yet. You still you gather stuff that's okay? Or into me on january tenth? I don't care to schedule it got its quarterly, so you got to go through your calendar and be like, ok this day and then three months later, make sure you always schedule at least the next one, right? Because once you've done it, then you schedule the next one. You've done it. Schedule the next when you don't have to schedule them all at once, but make sure you schedule do the next one all you need to do this could take five minutes this contains two hours it's up to you go over your money, the house and my cool with these vows so I want to change him at all maybe I feel like you know I wasn't able to do that I want to feel like I'm totally committed and so you just changed him I vowed always talked about money make it easy you can change him and if you don't change them, save them to your partner at a minimum quarterly because maybe you live it but wouldn't it be nice to hear those vows? What if you exchange your your actual vows every single every single quarter? We don't say that very much anymore, right vision you're gonna always be changing it, but even if you don't change it, make sure that you look at it. Oh yeah, we want him in the money game. The vision is we will win the money game by july fourth, two thousand nineteen so we can make the world a better place. All you have to do is just keep this as a reminder easy plan just look at this this is my plan, whatever your plan is, whatever you decide, whatever you committed to is this still my plan and maybe the dates that you gave just it didn't work or you need to revisit that you need to change it, change it it's great opportunity to do that quarterly and the last part is your annual review every year schedule it maybe you want to do it on your birthday? I don't know maybe you want to do it january first doesn't matter. What are you gonna dio? We're gonna just have an annual review now if you're doing, I didn't talk about financial planning, but if you have a financial plan, well, how much you're saving towards what? Your investments all that bring that into your annual review so that you look at it now you should look at that stuff every month like your investments and things like that. Why? Because that's on the money dae kim jim system, it reminds you what to look at. You don't really have to remember. You just have to fill it out. All right, but annually make sure you like look at the big picture. You see it as a big picture and make sure you on track you're doing what you want to do for what's. Most important to you revisit your your money values at least talk about him, remember? Oh yeah, we did this. Maybe I want to redo it. Maybe I just want to look at it and then you measure and improved measure and improved as your improved do you know that if you want to fly from california to new york you know the entire time like ninety nine percent of the time they're off course you know that went flying I think the same with votes too you're off course you were going to be off course ninety nine percent of the time all you got to dio tea to make little changes just keep adjusting, keep adjusting keep adjusting measuring improve measured improve that's what they're doing measure and improve as they fly right? Ok, now I have a question for you here we are session three you've been through a lot. Has anything changed? I need to change that. Has everything changed? Well, your clothes have that's good. I want you to notice things because if you go through this process and assuming you do go through this process you're gonna notice things have changed obvious you can look back at the beginning and see the difference on these people's faces you notice a change but you can specifically look at your money and emotions so let's do it one thirty three in the manual it is your money beliefs do I have the emotions? The emotions are one thirty five one thirty five you haven't a new sheet the same she have seen before now do it again circle the emotions you now experience most when dealing with her thinking about money really quickly circle those emotions you're thinking about money struggle those emotions we shall what have you circled excited happy confident hopeful and I was going to write down thrilled thrilled good right down now do you remember from the beginning or can you turn back? I don't know if you wrote in your manual way that you know you weren't in your notes ok we'll come back to that we know about you calm excited confident and peaceful okay and would you right in the beginning I circled all of the negative ones okay you don't even need to look ok so this is really awesome so and by the way you might be circling the exact same ones maybe especially if you haven't gone through this whole process you might be experiencing the exact same emotions or maybe just one emotion has change but farina you experienced at the beginning of this course experience it at the beginning experience so the negative emotions that I would experience in dealing or thinking about money we're anger fear guilt, shame sadness stress worry anxiety and embarrassment and now and now I feel well I want also shared that teo like some of the things that I had to put a star by of ways that I wanted to be that I didn't current leave that I hadn't gotten to yet we're confident joyful and peaceful and I had circled excited content and hopeful so now I have com excited, confident and peaceful so I'm mostly there that is so also and by the way, that's exactly what always happens with my clients remember I said awareness plus action equals abundance and I said even though I'm not pregnant, I still feel abundance it's like you became aware you took action and now you have this abundance so new emotions and even though the money hasn't changed or changed much, that happens all the time so like they have that much more money a day later or two weeks later, even if three months later since I was not that much more money but their their foundation, the way they look at my in a way they feel about money the way they think about money, what they do about money completely completely unrecognizable. So how they were before, I think the biggest part of it too is to actually have a plan which I never, ever, ever had before because people you know, people don't grow up talking about money I know you it's not part of our culture it's not part of our schooling is not part of our formal education. I mean, yeah, you go teo economics class, which I got a d and I think I did I think I seriously did and but to have this plan now so valuable and so thank you for that thank you for filling it out and taking action awesome rochelle, just to come back to you what? What emotions did you have circled before? I had to make up my own? I wrote insecure, lacking failure tenuous and frightened. Is this transformation or what? Holy cow! Alright, identifying your beliefs. So what I'd like you to dio over the break since you're here and you're going to be the examples I want you to because there's a lot of questions I want you to go back do these questions again don't look in your old answers do these questions again and identify your beliefs it's in your it's in your book, I'll show you on the break for those of you at home, this is in your manual on page one thirty three your money beliefs, it says retake the quiz to find out if your beliefs have changed now if you just started this course and maybe even this morning still do it because you might from all this planning, all this stuff that you've learned today and the seductive are says maybe money for the first time for you has been fun. Your beliefs already might have changed. If you haven't done the very first beliefs at the beginning, then do that you need something to compare it to, ok, so on one thirty three, fill out your beliefs one to ten and one thirty four

Class Description

Strong financial management skills are a must-have for a thriving, healthy relationship — but conversations about money can trigger feelings of guilt and anxiety. Simple financial discussions don't have to turn into emotional minefields. Join Robyn Crane and CreativeLive to learn the skills you need to manage your money as a couple, without letting your finances get in the way of your relationship.

This course will teach you everything you and your partner need to know to manage your finances effectively – without stress, guilt, or conflict. You’ll learn concrete tools for communicating about finances openly and honestly. You’ll also build strategies for recognizing and correcting flawed beliefs about financial management. You’ll explore why money issues are among the most common reasons for break-ups and divorce, and learn how to safeguard your relationship against the friction financial disagreements can cause. You’ll also create a concrete, easy-to-implement system that allows you to achieve financial health by playing to your and your partner’s strengths.

You’ll leave this course with strong personal finance skills and an understanding of how to collaborate with your partner to work toward a thriving financial future.