Get Down, Get Grounded, Get Happy
Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. It is my honor and privilege to be spending these next two days with you talking about moving toe happiness in seventeen seventy six thomas jefferson and the declaration of independence said that every man has the right to pursue happiness it's two hundred thirty eight years later and how we doing? How you doing? How you doing? How am I doing? And what is happiness? What does that mean to us? What does that mean to you at home to you in the audience? All I know is whether you're a musician, you have an etsy shop, your stay at home dad, a stay at home mom, you're a photographer, you're a fitness teacher, you are retiring, you're moving into the second half of life like I am when you move replace of happiness, you're more creative, you're more resilient, you are more likeable, you are more successful, you are more prone to feel the fear and do it anyway. Those things that often stop us in our work in our life, in our self discovery ...
are the very things when we moved from place of happiness, we can elevate ourselves and move forward so a little bit about me I've been in the industry and I was very nice, you said workout is a v h s tape so that's, how long I've been in the industry as a track the jest dvds now, but I've been traveling around the world and around the united states for twenty years working with men and women about moving, and then recently I was like, I felt like something was missing I felt like women who were a size two, and we thought they were in the perfect body or their size twenty and dying to be in a body that they thought they would love, that they were not necessarily happy. So how can we connect all this amazing research from the field, a relatively new field that is so much grounded? I want you to know deep this is some point me these next two days and not just my ideas and thoughts, everything we talk about is grounded in science, it is evidence based research, so when I talk about thoughts becoming things there's actually science to prove that if you're not careful, if you don't watch your own thoughts, someone else is gonna watch him for you. So over the next two days, let me give you a little breakdown of what we're going to do today. This first intro, I'm going to kind of let you know what happiness is in the terms of positive psychology on how can it can we even elevate happiness? Is happiness, something that weaken you know, bring up, we'll bring down and who's responsible for our happiness, and then after you take the mysticism out of that, we're going to come back after the break and talk about not just setting goals, whether it's in your fitness program or it's in your life in work and your own personal life before he even set goals. How to really raise our own belief system it's? Not until we believe that we're worthy of having this most magnificent life that were never really going to set forth onto these goals. I would have a great guest, john c havens, who just wrote an amazing book called hacking happiness, happiness and he's a brilliant guy and just so at such a joy on is an expert when it comes to metrics and motivation, so he's gonna be with us so we take a lunch break, we're going to come back and those mystical worlds, willpower and habit maybe the two words that moves you from being a dreamer to living a life of your dreams and they're going to wrap up the whole day on hey, what workout is going to make us happy? The big question then tomorrow we go to about my one of my most favorite thing, I think because it's very personal to me ah lot of people I know the skinny on happiness how do we prime ourselves to be resilient with all everything we see in the media social media, online meeting? We can't expect it to change, but how can we change our reaction and our response to it? Then after that, one of my most favorite things that you take nothing away from these two days that's one word gratitude exercising our gratitude muscle when it comes to our happiness, andi here, everyone in the audience on myself, to the things that make us happy, all rooted in things that were grateful for and how can that affect our lives? Then in the afternoon, we're going to talk about meditating for success a little bit about palate poses to rock our world and again, something it's also very personal to me, moving through fear, and I want to touch a little bit more right now because I think fear is the one thing that stops a lot of us, whether you're an entrepreneur, you at home creating your own business, who moves you through that fear and it often times it comes down to us. And how could we use science based research to help us move through our thoughts and step in tow? Most magnificent life doesn't have to be perfect another thing we'll talk about, so not perfect, but it can be magnificent. And then you know, things of thoughts are all very well and good, but how we're going to take all of this and move it forward into the world, how we're going to share this happiness with others you know, everyone wants to be happy, you know, I can't think of a more worthwhile reason toe exercise our body, our mind are thought to live a happier life, and now we don't have the research and the tools on how you conserve it forward share with those that you love around you at work and in your own life this workshop is not a package deal if not everything that you love resonates for you let it go, take the things that work and then leave the rest so we're going to kind of start at the end. That was research done recently by an incredible woman brawny where out of australia it actually started online as a small article and it went viral and she worked as hospice with people from the last three to twelve weeks in their life is a transition, and she saw that there were five common themes that ran through their life when it came to regret, so as we know time is so very, very precious, I thought maybe a good place to start is to go to the end of our life on one of the first regrets is this you know, I hear you talk about what makes you happy. Not one of you said money. It was around experience. It's the moments not the money that brings us life lasting happiness yet money, there's nothing. Well, if you were in a little like, you know, use a scratch off tickets, teo ten dollars. Awesome! I'm not negating that, but that's a spike that's not deep rooted happiness. So money we we don't want, you know? And if we're gonna have to be at work let's look at the way we can frame up our thoughts about work. So while we're there, we're moving for a place of happiness. I heard you all and the audience talking about community doing things together is more enjoyable when you're in community. People who live longer are often grounded with people that they love. I'll talk a bit tomorrow about who is in your choir, who are those people even call app it too. In the morning when they're s h I t hit the fan. Yes, much realized too that you but and again, you know, our community has moved online and I love online community don't get me wrong. I'm hoping to talk to a lot of you online today, but those are not the people in your choir. So who's in your community who were the people you can call on when things get tough on we'll see that moving with a buddy there's not only good for accountability it's good for your health to all good stuff and now how convenient was this? But it was number three I wish I'd let myself be happier now for those who had a home, there is still a although happiness what is that it's kind of over here? No, you know what happiness makes you more creative you got more resilient you're better able to deal with the not so happy times in your life this is not hey something just to think about but you put these action steps into your life, your life and the life of those around you will change in ways that you cannot imagine I am living proof of this happiness is just not a thought and it's not always easy I'm going I want to even know about me is I keep it real living a happy life doesn't mean that you were never going to be unhappy. So actually in positive psychology they use the word flourishing versus happiness but moving to flourishing didn't quite have the same ring is moving to happiness so I can't happiness but trademarked it already they could afford to do the flourishing thing too, so you know we talk about happiness and flourishing that you could move into your full potential when you move from that kind of place and moving from happiness and moving into happy happiness is not static for those who don't know me from my fitness world, I have a dvd or post on my thing this's not happiness. This is crazy, so happiness is this, it ebbs and it flows its life, but you are able tto better bounce from the these parts back and deal with them the uncertain times with more self confidence and it's knowing that the's negative times are not going to be lasting. They're more fleeting and even just having that perception ofthe how you view life can change everything dramatically e e cummings said, it takes courage to grow up and become who you are. It takes courage to grow up and become who you are, not who your parents want you to be, not who society thinks you should be. When you move from place of happiness, you have the courage to listen to your own voice, you have the courage to listen to those dreams and then put action behind those dreams the courage to feel the fear, make friends with your fear and do it anyway when it comes to courage, self esteem plays a big role in that how we feel about ourselves, we're going to talk about that tomorrow and the importance of how self esteem reflects not just our sense of self a sense ourself on dh our purpose in this world I wish I'd lived a life true to my dreams you know we're often so busy doing what we think people expect of us that we missed the process of really what we love doing on dh they say that when someone passes on thatyou love there are four things you need to say just four things one is I'm sorry forgive me I forgive you or I love you now I you know we all have lost in our lives and well, I lost my mom and my sister lost my mom a couple in almost two years ago now and we have nothing was left unsaid we lived a life together. It was the moments that we had together that you remember it was those things that bring you together so I ask you this question right now in the audience and this is like an internal question I think it's such an important one that I want you to carry with you over these next two days if you had one more day on this world, what would you have to say to yourself when you looked in the mirror the relationship you had with yourself the constant dialogue that you have for yourself every day would it be I love you would it be I'm so sorry for treating you this way please forgive me for treating you this way it sounds so simple but it's so powerful were often so busy taking care of others that we really forget to take care of ourselves and this course I hope is a little reminder of the importance of also loving the eye as well a saying I love you and then lastly I think in a short question if you have your books at home or here you can actually write this down it's on page two a short question I love that actually sort on facebook social media is a great thing so a while ago and if you could talk to your younger self right now look back to when you're like eighteen in two words what would you say an audience I would loving creators we can't creatives the creatives my creative peeps I would love to hear this too into words what would you tell your younger self my ruby worry less be brave do it be happy it's certainly work more make money worry more be fearful I mean so into you know words you know what would you what would you say to yourself? And then we also want to make sure that everyone at home knows the book that we're referencing is ah book that picture that you created for this course right and that's a follow along that you will have access to if you do decide to upgrade to that anytime access and can we show them what the cover of the book look like? It is terrific where's the camera cool, so we're going to be following along throughout the days you can. And also I think this is what we've seen research has shown that whether you're thinking about something, it becomes a lot more powerful when you write it down, be it a goal beit visioning, your best future self, which will do a little bit tomorrow whether it's having gratitude, thinking about it is one thing, but writing it down actually cement, sit deeper into your body, your brain and your life, so please take the time to write notes right it down there's also interesting to reflect back a couple of months from now on, maybe what your goals have changed or your perception has changed. So when we talk about living the life of our dreams, a lot of it is about our thoughts where we direct our attention, what we choose to focus upon. Do we choose to focus on the good or the not so good on one of the key drivers of where we place our attention are the questions we ask ourselves? High quality questions can reframe everything about your life so what I want to do right now this is the harder it's going to get over the next two days I'm going to ask you a quiz a test and then what you going to see a picture and I want you to tell me I'm gonna give you thirty seconds to look at the picture and I want you to tell me how many different shapes you see on the picture you see more than one oval count those so how many different shapes do you see on this picture so again it could be as many different shapes is you wanting to come out to the audience too and I'm gonna give you thirty seconds starting now ten more seconds left so it'll get every single shape three two one any ideas any numbers forty and still accounting twenty forty nine forty nine I'm shocked to hear it because I was counting the big shame what that's nothing wrong I didn't give you complete direction there is no wrong there's nothing so there is no wrong here no judgment so and so about five six kate I thought I saw a okay I have no idea but what I would love to know is what time was it on the clock does somebody go what clock e so this is a great demonstration by one of my favorite teachers tall ben shahar who is a just a genius in the world of posit psychology your focus was directed by the question I asked you. And this is a great quick example of just how important and how powerful is not just the questions we ask off others. But the questions we ask of ourselves way you choose to put your focus will not only shape your brain, your body. It will shape your life. So never negate the power of the question.