The Brain Drain
I'm not out to revolutionize philosophy. There's a lot of great stuff out there that works if you can just find a way to use it. But my theory is that you can't really do anything life, anything new in life until you get straight about the way you're currently doing it. You gotta deal with what's there, before you can do anything else. Anything other than that is just pretense for overcoming or trying to fix, to put a Band-Aid on the items of your life. I'm sure you've heard the quote that you've got to walk before you can run. Well, you need to tie your shoes before you can walk. And that's what we're going to do here we're going to learn how to tie your shoes. If you take your car to a mechanic, she doesn't just take a look at it and start ordering parts. What does she do? Examines it, takes a look at it, what's going on with your car here. So the first step in this is what I've been calling this brain drain. This is where you're going to empty all of that stuff out. All of the probl...
ems and the excuses and the issues that we touched on, and you're going to commit them to paper. So you've got a little sheet there, and if you're online this should be part of the work items that you have in your download. You're going to complete what I call a brain drain. Now, it actually says, "Consider the idea that your mind is like a space." Alright, so you've got to consider the idea that your mind is like a space, it's like a wide open plain for you to deal with life, to plan for life, and explore what's possible in the day-to-day living of one's life and that that wide opened space gets cluttered, compressed, and confused by the items that come into the space that you are. Most of those items you're so used to, you forget that they are even there. So, in short, you just get on with life. Constantly overcoming and transcending that mental clutter. And that's the reason why I have a brain drain you guys. When you perform a brain drain, you take the first step in finally de-cluttering that life of yours. The writer Ernest Hemingway said, "There is nothing "to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and "bleed." Now I don't want to sound to morbid here, but that is exactly what I want you to do. You're going to bleed onto that pad of paper or that laptop of yours and you're going to write down what it is you're tolerating about yourself. What it is you're pretending isn't a problem with yourself. Everything that you're avoiding, denying, pushing aside and climbing over in life, you're going to get it all out. You're going to get it all out in black and white, and I mean all of it. Like, I'm too lazy. I'm always angry. I don't finish what I start. I don't exercise enough. I'm too closed off from other people. I'm too shy, I'm always apologizing for stuff I never did. How many of you do that? That's my apologists, sorry! Or have no confidence. Where's my "no confidence -ers"? Where's my no confidence. I can't? Some of you don't even have the confidence to get your arm up. With a bit more confidence I swear to gosh I'll get that arm in the air. So to do a real brain drain you got to empty it all out on the page. And for many of you it would be pages. You gotta get it all out. And you're gonna say everything on that page until there is literally nothing left that you could say about yourself. And you might get the bulk of it in about 20 30 minutes. You might get the bulk of it there. But you'll notice if you just go back to it the day after there's a couple of things more that you would put in there. And you're gonna record all of them in that brain drain of yours, your gonna put all of them on that sheet of paper, every last thing. Now, we're gonna speed this process up because we've got a group here, I can't have you guys sitting here for the next hour emptying your mind of everything that's on it about yourself. But for those that are watching online I'm going to invite you to write out your brain drain. All of those things that you're avoiding and pretending and pushing aside in your life about yourself until there is literally nothing else that you could say. Remember it's all about you. And that you're clear that you've emptied that bucket onto that piece of paper. Now, for the sake of this course, the participants, you should write your top five items. You should do that now you should write your top five items. So that is the items about yourself that you've been tolerating, putting up with, pretending, BS-ing yourself about that you know that you just really got to get straight about it. The one's that you feel as if carry the most weight in your life currently. And the people at home who are watching this online, you should do this part all the way to the bottom of the bucket. So, you might want to pause this part of the course and get in your brain drain and write the whole thing out all the way to the bottom and then come back and revisit for the next section so we can find out what the heck we're gonna to do with that brain drain of yours. And then when you've just written your five there if you're a member of our audience you can just look up so that I know that you're complete. Some of you are sitting there writing the next edition of Moby Dick right now, of course. But as you're writing it you really want to make sure that this is the legit stuff for you. Not some, my desk isn't organized. I need to buy staples for my stapler. I'm really dealing with that right now. Have it be real. And just the five items like, I'm too lazy, I'm too angry, I'm not vulnerable with people, I think of myself as not smart, I'm not confident. I'm too resigned. I've given up on people. Some of you have definitely done that. Alright then look up when you've completed your five items. I know some of you could keep writing until next Thursday, but we're just going to get your top five for the audience. Okay. So, just look at your items right now. Take them in. And again, if you're watching this online right now you really want to look at that list of yours, that brain drain of yours. That you have drained your brain of all that you're overcoming about yourself. Those are the contents of your bucket when it comes to you. That's what you carry around with day after day, hour after hour. See if you can let that in. When you're at Starbucks grabbing a coffee that's what's humming in the background. You stare at your change and think is that the right amount? I don't know, like I'm an idiot. What's wrong with me? I can't figure it out. Or when you're at home, at work, or if you're at a parent-teacher conference, or you're on a date, or you're driving your car, or you're going on a job interview, or you're sharing a moment with your partner on the sofa. What's staring back at you from that page is the what so of your life. That's what so, that's what you deal with in relationship to yourself. But we're getting a little closer to you finally getting straight about it. This might be messy at first but you'll start to see the more you authentically identify the mess, that is, what am I going around with in life, the greater say you'll have in it. And as I said to you guys, we're looking at these items of your life from the perspective of you. So it's not about why am I tolerating having no money? It's like what am I tolerating about myself with no money? What do I say to myself, how do I talk myself into this? And you are talking yourself into it. Talking yourself into those negative states. You're talking yourself into the problems and your items and the issue that currently are in your life. Most people, from what I understand, when they're at the end of their life. I saw recently that the 70s pop idol David Cassidy passed away. Some of you were heart broken. I know you were. You had such a crush on him. But apparently his last words were so much wasted time. Now people think, so much wasted time like what, like doing the dishes? No, it's so much wasted time tolerating yourself. Tolerating you, not tolerating people. And it's funny when you hear that, what are you tolerating in life? Immediately, we start thinking of other folks, you know? (audience laughs) Oh, my mother! Totally, tolerating her. Oh, my dad! Tolerating my dad. But what if it's tolerating your own upsets, and anger, and frustration with people? What if it's tolerating your own committed resentments? What if it's tolerating your own loss? Tolerating your own resignation, and then organizing your life accordingly? Like really? Take something (mumbles) interrupt yourself. It really does, it takes a lot of cognitive effort. You really need to think. So we don't. It's hard enough making our way through this life. And now this Scottish guy is telling me I need to think? Not up for that, just tell me what to do. Alright, so who can give me a couple of things that you wrote down just two things from your chair that you wrote down in your list that you can see that definitely that this is heavy in my life, this thing right here. Nick, right there. Could you shout it out?
I don't take my health seriously and I'm apathetic. Very good.
Get into things over my head, and then (mumbles)
Alright, so I get into things over my head and then the things I'm going to say to myself when I fail. This is a really great example. How come you get into things over your head? What is it eventually you get to tolerate about yourself when it's all said and done? There is some driving opinion of yourself there when you fail. It comes up, like, grinds, and it gets you right there. When you've failed again, there's something about you, right there.
That I'm not worthy of the success of whatever I'm going to do.
Bingo. I'm not worthy of it. Oh, you are programmed already. You're a done deal, you're locked into Scott 2.0. Debra?
I'm too much.
I'm too much for people? (mumbles)
Yeah. I'm too much, very good. Yeah?
Alright, so I don't trust my husband. How many of you have had that experience, that I don't trust somebody's love for me like it's not the real deal? Boy, can you find the evidence for that though? You're like Sherlock Holmes. (audience laughs) I think I've found a trail of evidence. They didn't wipe their feet when they came into the apartment. Clearly, you don't love me. You wouldn't be putting me through this misery. Alright, what else, Jen?
I tolerate being tired all the time. Tolerate being tired all the time. Taylor?
So, I want to be a public speaker and I tolerate that people won't think that what I have to say is valuable which could confirm what about you? Some opinion of yourself. That I'm never heard? Okay, very good. I think it's a little deeper than that. I think you give some opinion like you're not smart enough. Like borrowing away. The thing that you're overcoming about yourself you guys. You're too busy overcoming it to really think about it. Your life's a reflection of it. You'll find it in what you're doing, in not doing. You'll find the thing that's like a little furnace, but you never really look at the furnace, you're just too busy trying to solve it's problems. Like, how can I get more confidence to talk about people and have them think a certain way of me, but that's all to overcome some way that you already think of yourself. As usual everybody else is like oh, yeah, and the person is like, I don't think, I can't under... So what do you get with that?
I feel I don't have the proof to, I can't find the word, that I know what I'm talking about that what I say will make a difference in your life.
It's here right now for you actually. You're actually in the presence of it right now as you're talking into that microphone. If you would get present to yourself. Your experience of yourself is that what, right now you're experiencing yourself as?
I'm insignificant. That was really great that you could see that for yourself right there. And you should write, I'm small and I'm insignificant on your brain drain. I tolerate that I'm small and insignificant. Alright, so in the next section we're going to deal with what we're going to do with that brain drain. We're going to handle that whole world of taking your life on and starting to deal with once and for all making some real, lasting change in your life.