How to Energize Others
Last but not least, okay? Around how to be an energizing leader. And what I'm gonna do here is I'm gonna teach you one of the most important rules that you're ever gonna hear, and it also connects to this idea around what is your intention in the moment? How do you manage moments as a leader? You know, how many daily interactions do you think we have with people inside an organization? You know, depending on your role, it could be a lot. And so what I'm gonna teach you is this rule that was inspired by my work with Steve McDermott and I call this one the 30 second rule. And before I teach you this rule, we're gonna play a game, okay? And the game is called, what's this game called?
Chutes and Ladders.
Chutes and Ladders! Little did you know how sophisticated this leadership course is gonna be that we're playing Chutes and Ladders. Okay, here's my question for you. By the way, this is a game I love to play with my kids, right? Not the most strategic game in the world, right? What's,...
when you're playing this game, what's a number that you love to land on when you're playing this game, and it can't be 100.
'Cause it takes you all the way up to 84.
Good. It takes you all the way to the top, right?
What's a number when you're playing this game you go (groaning).
'Cause you gotta go all
You gotta go all the way down to the bottom, right? Takes you to the bottom. Here's my question for you here. Here's my question for the online audience. Who are the 28s and 87s in your organization? In your life, right? Who are the, when we talk about who a 28 is, right? A 28 is in energizer. That means when you have a conversation with this person you leave with more energy versus less, right? And we also these 87s, we're in meetings with them. Where they suck all the air out of the room and everything is wrong and nothing is right, right? We know these people. And so you have to make a decision in your life and at work, right? How do you help people to become more like 28s? And for me personally I've got a wonderful group of friends, I've just made some decisions over the years 'cause I'll go out to dinner with them, I leave that dinner feeling absolutely exhausted, right? 'Cause they're more like an 87 and I just say to myself is this really worth my time, right? So I've been very deliberate for me personally, you have to make a decision for yourself, how you spend your time. And I like to spend my time with 28s as much as I can. And so for you as a leader, what does it mean to be a 28, right? To motivate, inspire, energize those around you. And how I'm gonna help you to get there is this idea of this 30 second rule and what I've learned about leadership and what I've learned about what's so important is the mood that you pass on to others, it's this idea of mood contagion. What's really interesting is we've got something in our brains called mirror neurons, so we quite literally take on the mood and energy of other people when we're with them. So, I'll just ask you, when you've been around a leader or a manager who's incredibly anxious, how do you feel when you're around that person?
You feel anxious, right? That's mood contagion right there in play, right? When you're around a leader who's incredibly calm, how do you feel?
Yeah, you feel calm. So what I want you think about is the first 30 seconds of any interaction you have, be deliberate. What's that mood that you wanna pass on to the other person? 'Cause you will. What's that mood that you wanna pass on? And it's phenomenal to do this at work, right? With customers, with your colleagues. Are you walking into the office with a smile on your face? Right? That manager you talked about earlier around thank you for your day, right? They understand this 30 second rule, right? Right, they totally get it. They know how to manage the moment, the moments, right? And it doesn't have to be a lot, but think about it, right? What's the mood that you wanna pass on and how do I leave that person feeling 10 feet tall after this conversation? Feeling more valued, respected. How do we do that in all these interactions that we have? And it's phenomenal to do at work, right? And when I worked with Steve, I realized that I did not get this right at home. So, I used to travel a lot for the work that I did at that time, and what would I do? And this was when my kids were much younger by the way, and they were totally excited to see dad, unlike today with a new teenager. And so I'd come home from work and I'd totally blow it. So, I'd open the door to the house, my kids would come running to me, and what would I say to them? Hey guys, just hold on a second. I'm gonna take off my suit, I'm gonna wash my hands, and I'll be back downstairs. And then I realize oh my god, what mood am I setting inside my house? So, now what I do today, quite literally, and I still do it. I pull into my garage and give myself about 30 seconds. So, if there's a video camera in my garage you'd see me doing this in my car. Take a breath, and I just think about okay, you know, 'cause this guy Steve and how he inspired me is, I ask myself what would the worlds best day do, right? The first moment of coming into this house. And I can tell you I do that. I open the door, I've got a big smile on my face, and again this was when my kids were younger so I'd get on my knees, I'm givin' them a big hug, I'm asking about their day, I'm giving my wife a kiss and asking about their day, I am so engaged and I am just bringing positive energy, okay? And what I've learned from this experience is a couple of things. One is that mood that I created stays in the house all night. Stays there all night. And the other thing that I've learned is, you know, after about 30 seconds or a minute my kids are done with dad. Dad, we get it okay, you love us, okay, okay. And (whistles) they scurry off, okay? And so really simple, right? So much of leadership is just simple and what I hope I've for you today is just provided you with simple, practical tools to enable you to be as successful as possible. So, leadership for the most part, it's a process, right? Leadership developments process. But, what I try to is kinda break it down for you in these pragmatic, simple lessons for you to apply not only at work, but also to have a great impact at home as well. And so what I wanna do now just to end this course is I wanna just take, I'm gonna give you guys just 30 seconds to a minute just to talk to one another. What resinated with you the most? Okay? We've covered so much today. What resonated with you the most from this course, and let's share with our online audience. So, I'm gonna give you 30 seconds to a minute right now to talk with a partner and then we're gonna share.
What resonated with you? (class talking over each other)
I think being self aware of my actions. Every little thing that I think, makes an impact.
That I'm focusing on the priorities.
Deliberate, he said deliberate a lot and I do realize that I just go, go, go, but I don't take a lot of time to just stop and deliberately do that next thing, or not do it. (class talking over each other) I love just this idea of investing in ourselves more because I think it is easy as a leader to like, look at everyone else and forget to turn that mirror around.
Focused on your own, everybody else's development
They've got the
within your team.
magnifying glass, right? Not the mirror, right, remember that old saying?
Easier just to delegate.
Yeah, those are mine, I'd say. And I wrote down ideas for you about the patience thing, I'm still thinking about it.
'Cause actually I'm really inpatient, so that was a struggle 'cause I was like I have no idea 'cause I'm not a master at that yet.
No, I'm really not.
I have some ideas. So, I'm gonna continue to think about it, but yeah. What about you?
I would say I loved the notion of carving out five minutes everyday to track your own leadership. Like to just that mindful time in a moment of your workday that's not on a treadmill or I sat on a path
Okay, let's just quickly go around. (class talking over each other) Real quick, let's just quickly go around, what resonated with you the most? And why don't we start here.
The way that everything I do makes an impact, and whether I realize it or not I have to really be aware of actions at all times.
One thing I realized is how to recognize a good leader and a bad leader and like ways to respond to them. So, like, even if I don't have the best manager at work, or the best leader, like I'll know, okay, I can learn from them when I'm in like a management position of what not to do or like, you know.
Yeah, so it's not just showing them what to do, but also what do I not wanna do as a result of what person's doing.
Yeah, like each experience is worthwhile.
I had found that a lot of the things that we're practicing I fortunately get to work in an environment where a lot of the people do exactly that. But taking that and applying it to your personal and your home life, which is makes you much more vulnerable and asking for feedback and being open to that is difficult.
I think the most important for me was really analyzing my time management and what I'm using in my top, and if I'm using my time to really identify my top three priorities and applying the time that I have to that versus stretching myself too thin.
I would say mine was the importance of building in that time to reflect on your own leadership everyday. So that five minute outlook reminder just to help sort of ground myself and what my leadership capabilities are and where I'm trying to improve daily.
Great, thank you, yeah.
I loved how you used the word deliberate because I think that I could definitely slow down and really think about what I'm doing before I'm doing it and have such a greater impact than I would have, if I woulda have just been going 100 miles an hour.
I resonated mostly with the strategic focus. Making sure my priorities are where they need to be and how to make that happen to be more successful and help others to be more successful.
For me it was the feedforward instead of feedback because that changes the entire, it's like a switch in your head, so it changes the entire focus, your intentions, kinda the questions you ask.
I think for me was the self imposed 360 degree assessment and how much of an impact that had when CEOs did it with their employees and the whole company. It's amazing.
I really enjoyed when you brought it home for us. So, not just for me personally, but how I'm having my conversations with my team and how is that gonna impact them when they get to their home, and their door, and their children? I'm still thinking about it to this moment and I'm so grateful
that I got a chance to think about that.
I think it's learning the importance of feedback and being willing to make yourself vulnerable both in the office and at home, to ask those really tough questions to get the best improvement.
Yeah, it's making the decision, right? That you wanna hear the truth.
And I agree as well. It's just knowing that my mood, both at home and at work, can affect everyone.
Yeah, absolutely. So, part of why I wanted to have you answer the question if you noticed, you know, we're all on our own leadership development journey. Our own journey ourselves right? In terms of how we wanna improve as a leader and for the most part a lot of you took something different from today's course in which is I hope that you do as well, which is, there are certain elements of this course that may amplify more than others and what may happen too, is at a different point where you are in your own journey, other parts may become really important as you go through your process. And again, one of the most important things for me is I hope that I've inspired you to just take action, right? You remember this slide, right? 100 may applaud and one will apply, and what I hope for all of you is that there's been some inspiration for you to invest in yourself, and others to be better. So, thank you very much for you today today. (audience applauding)