Noah's Story Pt 2
What I want to talk about now is then health um anybody here at one or three on their health scale perfect well I met a concern myself like a like a two three range I mean I teach fitness but yet like I'm overweight and I I don't don't eat as well as I should my husband does all the cooking and I don't feel like in control of that so it's always an argument with us about food because he considers food to his way of showing he loves the family and and it's always I want to eat this and know you're gonna eat this and it's like the same argument I used to have with my mom so it's always a fun not fun thing yeah a lot of aa lot of things that are happening today is it's coming back from or how we were raised his children so food with mom or the relationship with your dad on dh so obviously I don't think massive change is going to happen overnight but I think it's also how do I start small and sustained that's one of the things that it took me a year feeling pretty sad for most of two thous...
and twelve up until about april of march of this year you know and I was small winds that kept adding up so what is something that you could do this week to improve that even landing like the smallest level what you think I would help you go from your two? You said or two to three yeah, I consider myself a two three because I do a lot of of exercise and I teach I teach you to like a three full three full three you know, with something a little you could do this week way had to do some my husband and I have hit that because it has also goes into the whole of category two my husband and I have had we just had our twelfth anniversary, so just last week and we've had to have this sit down, sit down conversation about, you know, we we need to get on the same page about a lot of stuff. So this is one of those conversations that so this week you will have that conversation that, you know, eating is one of the things that I don't want to argue about what you're gonna have the conversation he's coming home tonight, he was traveling for business, so I think it's one of the things is that if you're sitting in your chair and your cubicle, like I said in a chair most the daily for eight hours, people who don't centers like you sit in the chair at a computer all day like, yeah, that's what I do and it's very easy to sit and watch and get excited and see something like dan happened or some changes that happen or like the emotional part of both her shonda, but the biggest thing is not watching it and that's what I'm going to discourage you get well, I want you to watch now, but how would you want to discourage you from just watching and me like, I'm I'm excited this is motivating raw, raw and that's what I really want encourage you like, what you gonna do when you're going to do it and don't make a big one like, I'm not going to nominate my mom does a watermelon diet, uh, it's what she's wanted for a few weeks, it loses way, I'm like mom, she she works a lot, but it's, like, how do you create something small that you could sustain? So? And we'll talk about that a lot with adam when we get to the health thing. So conversation with your husband this week? No, we have what seem online, who says, I found out I had spinal stenosis now, and I can't do a lot of the activities I love, and I'm only thirty four. So what do you do if some medical condition has given you a law school, and so in his health, is even saying his overall health scores actually, though pretty much yeah, I'm going to say yes on that hasn't given us an actual school has simply said, I've now got this condition. I can't do what I love. I'm young. Okay, help me now, that's actually bringing up the next slide. I'm no expert, right? And I think that's, the key thing where, you know, in our own lives is about. And this is one of things I've noticed it's less about looking for a group like I don't ever want to be a master teacher, some guru, I'm sure to share my stories on an equal level and hopefully help you guys get what you want and try to obtain what I want. Um and so with him, you know, you read a lot of these stories where people are getting injured and then exploit one they find out they're happier but to exploring new activities that do make him feel better, right? Or maybe going back to old activities that you've given up right? And so then I think right now, he's in a really great not in a great space, obviously, but those limitations in life now we're going to open him up to new things. So I don't have a magical answer of like it well you'll get your spine fixed but seemed aside my health is good I'm just tending to gain white nato activity so you're right to find something that you've done before you know and then we'll talk about it with adam specifically around health and eating and dieting and that's very connect your business and as well as to your love life but I would really encourage him to start something small that makes him feel good about himself you know a lot of the days like I'm trying make oatmeal every morning cause it makes me feel happy I just make it up every morning and I put cinnamon and all this stuff and uh it is just little winds that make you feel better about your day um has any other ones on online or in the audience so let's talk about health with our love anything that anybody happening religion they're going to do this week that they want to share I think for me it where's where's your writing that you want to talk about well I just seized the first tonight talk about health and I was your health right now I put a tio okay but I'm pregnant so it's like you know there's kind of ah nice excuse of it in a way to not do certain things and I have already had an eighteen month old daughter through which I ran the whole time during the pregnancy I was working, I was doing bar method and then just for whatever reason this one I've just been like and I think just the thing I can do this week is like even just starting to walk again or doing something small like the small win if I so what can what can you do tomorrow to take it? Did walk what's a good walk? Um like a mile? You okay? Yeah, because I'll have, like fitbits, you got to use the moves that it's completely free so I would encourage everyone online. There's an iphone app I don't know if it's on android called moves completely free and you get like steps and so whenever basically motivate you to step like, oh, I want to hit a goal of ten thousand steps a day or for a lot of e mails, they were fitbit dot com where you can wear a bracelet. I know that when I've had it, I'm like man, I haven't my ten thousand steps, you know, even built like a treadmill desk to try to get more steps in, so I have something that'll help you maybe a rubber band he was sitting in your door, maybe your shoes by your bed, they kind of keep motivating you to want to get those steps in so your report back or at least you'll tell me one thing that will come to a little bit later was also accountability like who can you can you have that will hold you accountable for that? Um my husband would love to hold you accountable. Um, I have my husband or like my best friend she's she's quite fit and just takes care of herself in a good way she would be up for that as well. Okay, uh, people are coming in great discussions going on here, let's see, brian church said, suggested that everybody have just a little morning routine, I think where teams are really helpful to give you basically small wind, so I have had a team most of last year where I'd wake up, do fifty pushups, one hundred sit ups on then make my oatmeal and then I would try to read a book for thirty minutes before I get on a computer and I think what's great is try out different teams, and this is one of the biggest things when you're trying to get what you want in life, test things out, do it for thirty days and see how it makes you feel so for the year, all of two thousand twelve every day, every morning when I was on a truth where regardless where I was hungover doesn't matter I did my push ups and I did my sit ups every day and about three months ago I was getting out of bed and I didn't want to get out of bed because I didn't want to do it right and it's not about and I think one of things that I'm trying to work through and explore is that I saw her team's toe reduce thinking and make my life a little more consistent um but it's also where they still serving you so try something out see if it's still serving you at this point it wasn't so I said I'm ok letting this go because I have other routines that still make me happy like I do twenty two pushups at night and I've done that for the past like fourteen years twenty two because I used to do one hundred twenty and so I never want to go to sleep because I was like, I don't want to do these push up that I was like, well, I do want to give up my push it because I enjoy it makes you feel a little you know, before bed get a little blood pumping so do twenty for myself just to get him one for good luck always good to plus one and then one for my father so I did twenty two every night that's great um anything else good with section we got people suggesting treadmill discs could be the way to go. If you've run out of time in the morning, then you could make your own treadmill desk on amazon. You get there's a two hundred fifty dollars treadmill that you just remove the arms, put it on your desk, and then you have a travel desk for you. No one, a fifth of what it normally costs. So that was one of the questions perfect yankeenets on amazon to fifty. Just like for that that I really appreciate seeing p people that are just even saying something in the chat room about what they're going to. D'oh, no taping that accountability really matter. So even just putting in there is, you know, kudos to you for saying those things, you know, a lot of times, I mean, you got a lot of the stuff. You guys know there's. No magic answer that's going to be out there. But when you start one of things, that's, cliche, and people know it is that you start getting what you want out there, that will manifest. And also, when you put a deadline, you start telling people that will happen like this creative life thing, you know, they said it was going to this day, I was like, oh, gosh, right but it's gonna happen and that helped me be motivated to make sure his reality or when I did a marathon I put a hundred dollars down and I was like like one hundred dollars down it's a lot of money for me I'm gonna do a marathon is my brother challenged me to run a mile a couple of weeks ago I didn't think I could do it but I did and everything has been changing since in just a little thing for that guy s so what makes me qualified I think that's a reasonable it's like why is this guy on stage talking about this? Um I had a fair amount of failure right was that facebook did make any money a lot of people now have like our rates and mansions when my friend was tweeting howie our favorite posting how he now is mcclaren that was little depressing um so I've had a fair many times where I've gotten close to, you know make a lot of money and it's failed have also sometimes with my last business gambit and now without sumo dot com where things have gone well on I do have a fear in general of self sabotage I think is probably a common thing that a lot of people go through where things are going well in you like I can't keep going well can't keep going well that familiar to a lot of people uh and so I want to talk about the things I've done with implementing systems to help me get through that on so that's why I feel a little bit qualified you know, I think when people become experts it's one they've done it themselves like I can say I've been you know, I've had a tough time last year for myself and I've been afraid of a lot of things like doing freed of live um or even, you know, last week I uh I was afraid of using a physical trainer so I go to the gym twice a week and I'm sitting in my car outside scared because I don't want I don't want admit that I needed help is that familiar to anyone else now you guys don't know you guys don't need one good, but that was that was scary for me and I was like, I want to go in the gym so I always go there by myself and I pretend to do weights and, you know, and I have fun in there and it shows that I'm weak, right? And I was like, well, I'm gonna go give it a shot and I went into the trainer and it's probably one of the best things in the gym in a long time and so I was able to overcome that fear and now I'm going to go to that trainer once a week but it took a little bit of, like, facing that little bit of nervousness and going going into it, so I've worked on it myself. I've helped other people mostly was starting businesses, not a lot with the psychology or a lot of as much of the personal side, but a lot with starting a business and where the fastening things were certain business stuff, which will explores how much people's psychology is actually limiting them from the business which shocked the hell out of me, uh, spent some time in india, you know, kind of like trying to find who I am and what I was, uh, you know, I've started to find mind your business that I hated. I know you're like, oh, well, who you're you have money, but it's it's? Not about, you know, let's say you have the money you want, you're still unhappy. What then? What happens when you get everything you want? I want this passive income business. I want this life self is what then? If you get it, you're still gonna be you, uh, you know, waking up a lot days, not feeling like living like wire my life today. And I'm actually like I'm getting more excited like hearing you guys stories, seeing changes happen live hearing that the audience online is having things that they're wanting to do, but I woke up a lot of days looking outside of great austin, texas, and I was just like with the point of today ah, and then unhealthy relationships, uh, dated a lot of people that, you know, good people would just weren't good for me. I had a lot of other people with business that we're nice business people but took me down with them I'm not blaming them, but I chose to allow that tactic responsibility and it's being aware of those things going through them that will make me feel qualified to talk with you all about that so here's, what we're gonna do now, I want everyone anonymously in this room and online go to cnn dot com slash fierce everyone you have a sheet of paper here, it's also in the resource section. Get out it's zone there in your packet if you're online got upset when I'll com slash fear and I want this anonymous don't write your name on it. I want you guys to write what are you afraid off? Your deepest, darkest fear online, it's anonymous, and what happens online is you'll be able to see other people's and I think it's one of the most powerful things that I've seen is that when I've been able to notice that other people are facing that problem, I'm like damn that guy's got a way worse than me, right? And you actually feel a lot better about yourself it's not about hating on others but just being aware of others and being connected to others makes you feel better about where you are to um good afternoon dot com it's your own lines to meet your fear there and then you could read other people's everyone in the audience says everyone done it so this is where you can see all the online responses absolutely dot com that slash fear submit your answer then you could see everybody's fear responses anonymously and other people in the white zone right? Mine okay, so being judged afraid of being poor for the rest of my life failure dying without having accomplished something that I'm proud of dating, falling in love and being rejected snakes all kinds of things not being loved, not realizing my full potential not providing for my family there's a lot of not realizing my potential yes and there's a lot of afraid of not succeeding yes yeah that's tough stuff crashing in an airplane definitely they broke no money for family or rent negative judgment that sticks out of surat tre losing money starting my own business wow, I just refreshed we had ninety five responses and then I refreshed we have three hundred thirty five responses so they're continuing to come in saying the girl I love who I haven't seen in two years this weekend that's nice good ones that if it was he afraid that that's a really good one I love that one okay king ok lou hope you have big gaps dog um you know, it's funny I was in india kind of trying to find myself and I was talking to susan who you guys are all going to meet who's lived a very interesting story and I was like, I'm not afraid of anything I was like, I'm okay, I could do anything and she's like you're a bitch killing this tall she's this tall talking shit to me and was like, susan, come on, girl and uh and it made me realize, though, is that some of the times if there's nothing that you're afraid of, you might not be living the life you want and you talk about this with adam uh, but if you're not facing some of those fears, if you're not challenging yourself, I don't really think I'm going to be living in a fulfilled life or a content life, so when I had that there was actually a lot of things I was afraid of but I wasn't even recognizing and I think the analogy oh, is that I like is that when you're inside a fish bowl it's really hard to see the outside and so sometimes you need like dan has some support network to say hey, your things I really think you should be doing or help you talk about hey, where am I not pushing myself where I want to be improving in my health wealth in love so everyone in the studio and see what you have pulled him up fears I thought this the studio the all my audience was fearless I was told that you guys are fearless there for sixty two. All right, so what I want you to do in the studio audience is pass it to the right. So go in a circle it's mine. I hope no one calls it passing two to the right. Okay, this's, the awkward part. Okay, so yeah, it's fine. We'll figure it all out. All right, so ok, you guys are fine. We'll figure this out. All right? So I want kevin, can you open the one? You haven't read it out loud? Yes, sir. You're winning then today, kevin what's going on, I am exceptionally flawed and therefore doomed to a bad life who said that encompasses the fear completely it's tough are it's been brutal man I've struggle with depression my entire adult life because of it and it's it seems like something that's completely out of my control it's just some people panicked when they walk fast I think of myself as being exceptionally bad even though I'm not it's just that reflects on I don't know howto deal with it what kind of well I mean you said that's the kind of life that the priest subscribed, right? I mean, what kind of life do you want to live like? You know the question I literally ask myself every weekend therapy is what do I want and in different situations do I really want this? Is this an ego thing which I'll explore with you later with my own stories and someone but what kind of life do you want to if I think that's that's kind of the interesting story if you don't know what the destination looks like, how are you ever going to get there? Yeah, well, I've been lucky to have tastes of it before um what what what do you want now? But what do you want that life to look like? So that you write in your paper you're afraid of bananas? Yeah, yeah um I think just to be in a position to take care of myself all the time and be able to do just to have an adventurous life, I've had a very adventurous life, but kind of always answering to someone so far, I'd really like to do that on my own. So it's a very reactive, ok, no, I'm just saying, like you've been responding to other people saying, this is where I want to go exactly how look right? And this is what I'm going to do to get there sure, uh, one of the key things that, you know, I started working on my body, and a lot of things in life is what can I control? What can I control? And I think a lot of the one of the key things I've noticed in two successful people is responsibility notice this next time you you guys talk to your friends that air, you're zero friends, your negative one friends, they're kind of the same or hold you back, they blame others. Oh yeah, the guard, the thing was this this this it's always everybody else, it's never themselves. And so I think the things for you is making a clear thing with, you know, health wolf in love is a good framework for that. What can I do in these different facets that I can control, right, who else, adam, I'm afraid that people will find out that find out that I'm stupid a fraud I don't know what I'm doing I am not worthy of helping people I want to help and then I'm not knowledgeable I didn't really gonna go this deep um this's that you seem so friendly though it's so it's been so fascinating I think that's when the most interesting things about all of this is that we all kind of walk around in our routines maybe the routine that we're not even wanting to live or we put on this facade of how's everything going good? How are you? Good all right back to the cubicle, right? And so what makes you feel like that? It just goes back down to childhood you know, those those scripts that you hear all the time from may I was the last of five, you know, run to the letter and I heard it all the time from my family my my sisters you know you're stupid, you're in idiot and it's still this in my head I still hear it even though I'm getting my phd I four point out for my master's degree I mean it's just this constant thing and I still feel it even though I'm trying to learn things I read all the time, I very I still don't feel like I'm good enough what would make you feel good enough? I don't know tough right? Right because you know, I think what the phrase believes the impostor syndrome right? Like who does know what you're talking about fear right? Like I'm just gonna let me out yeah, they're like a phd in fear that I got no, I got a lot of failure, right? I've been afraid of a lot of things where someone a lot of you and I think that is comforting it's like wow there's a lot of people around even the guys behind the cameras who aren't talking are afraid of things right? Maybe being in front of the camera um some of the things I'm hearing I think ultimately the way that our life is really fulfilling and satisfying is when you love yourself you're like, well, you know that one doug give me how to do it right and that's a challenging exploration that took me a whole year of being sad and I think some of the times that things were the most challenging are one of the most rewarding, right? So, you know, last night I was in bed talking with adam and anton not in the same bed way had separate cots and beds and, you know, I was it was reflecting, like I can't believe a year ago like I didn't want to live now I'm just like, give me more days and it's the moment that it's challenging that you can look back on a man like I worked hard on myself and so I think the things in loving yourself are going back to okay consoling oversight huguely's kevin pat maybe more hugs less handshakes uh yeah that's when you tackle him more hugs, handshakes or more maybe thiss bumps um hard, huh? But it's so awkward to the harder part ofmy heart to heart hug um and we had eleven yourself it's hard it's hard um what I found for myself just ensuring loving myself uh was when I gave up some of the relationships who are negative when I gave up the business that was mostly ego I didn't want to five million dollars business that's for everybody else um you know, I didn't I had a body that I didn't really care for and then it was starting like, you know, facing some of those things about you know, what would make me feel better about myself? And it could start a simple is oatmeal right and having honest discussions with your husband or like a shonda, you know, calling her dad and setting herself right to open it up to a healthy relationship that's more fulfilling and if you're and I think you know adam and I talk a lot about this, but if you're feeling uncomfortable, you're feeling discomfort that's when it's working like the fact that you're feeling emotional about is good it's like wow that this is important to me. This is like my my radar of what I needed to be focusing on the listless do online is one more way good is too much or too little. Well, I must say that the online audience are incredibly supportive of aryan studio audience. I mean love you guys in the light of the out, I have a look at this, but it is in crime. I'm quite eerie about it because it is the support rolling in for all of you and trying to help you and support you when you read this is going to make you feel fantastic now, it's just incredible to me to see how you say those words and I feel the same way how it goes so deep to the core of every single one of us. Why? Why don't we all feel this way? Well, I don't have a one day workshop for an upset now, uh for two, not now. So the you know, I think a lot of it stems from our parents. Some of the books I recommended, women who love too much, the talking cure, amount of love and affection you got as a child, whether you were not felt as special. Um and I think being aware of it going like I go to therapy and it's hard and a lot of times I'm like man I paid him ten dollars for forty five minutes and I feel the same um and then keep working on it right? And then slowly does there's day one like the fog list there's not a magic answer there's no book or any secret that'll be out there but it's just coming back and exploring how do I love myself more like how do I do the things that I really love to do regardless of anyone else regardless of like one of the things with with women for me was like how do I feel validated as a man that I can take care of them that I'm making enough money to impress them and I realized like I don't need that right? I want to feel good working on what I want to make enough money for myself and living a life that I want and so it's just coming back and exploring what do I want? And then what are the things as we're talking about in this presentation what's holding me back from that guessing brian it's pretty cool so it's never about fear you know we're afraid of some snakes were fielded pretty feeling stupid sometimes we're afraid of like I feel like an impostor I'm afraid sometimes like I'm afraid of going bald I most girls have dated never know that and it's like not bad but I use like the spray can use in a spray can no I just sort of work uh it's on informers luggage anyways yeah you know what putting it out there it's like all right that's me but it's also feeling good about who I am I'm like this is part of who I'm gonna be or days like it have seen like you know we've in the beginning you know we had a about a three hundred ninety beginning about a year and read about a three hundred thousand dollars month bill every month that I had to pay and I was like oh my god like I did not I wouldn't want to look at days are new revenue is low I would want to look at it as I know it's really bad and I faced it and so some of the things when you're uncomfortable if it's like look at it face and you're like all right today's low now it's time to do something about it and I'll talk a little bit more about that um so you know yes please people I was going to going to make sure that before we go to susan was going to go let's talk about the first contest in what we want people to tweet out okay um so spider just carry I think that was one of slide basically like there's different things they're scary to you there's big things like feeling stupid and there's little things like spiders or height but it's all practice for being stronger it all is good so if there's a little fear like hey, I never I don't know like you never get coffee and that's a stupid one uh maybe that's it right but try something different because what you're doing if it's not working it's not gonna change try something small build up and then I'll help you be stronger for calling your dad for starting in the business so we're gonna give away books based the ones I talked about talking cure women who love too much a lot of books that make that will help you work on yourself so what I want you to tweet is tweet something you are scared of hashtag no alive the big leap in celestine prophecy or other good books I highly recommend this will help you identify when you're limiting yourself with words or just when you're like oh I you know, most times we think things are going well what has to happen no now doesn't have to go down and keep going up and that's being aware of that part and and that book really help and celestine prophecy is talking about you know, the fact that dan was supposed to be in the audience today that is not something this coincidences so tweet something. You're scared of your on the twitter world's hashtag no live and we will come back and you will get all for there's. Four books, there's, another one in there.