Being Considerate: Up Your Game with Good Manners

Lesson 3/5 - Identifying Instigators


Being Considerate: Up Your Game with Good Manners


Lesson Info

Identifying Instigators

My next slide is a bad news slide. (Chuckles) It's where I get to deliver the tough love, the news a little harder to hear. Who's the instigator most likely to be? Who's the most likely offender or culprit, the person who's actually causing the bad behavior, treating other people rudely? First, most likely person, person of higher status. Someone who feels protected in some way. I've mentioned I like to pepper my talks with things my mother told me, always tell the truth, you never have to remember anything. Guess what, if you point a finger at someone else there's three fingers pointing back at you. What's the best way to combat rudeness in America? Think about yourself and how you can make a change. If your sitting there thinking to yourself, boy my team could really use this. This is a message I wish everybody who works for me could internalize. Guess what? Three fingers right back at you. Maybe you're not responsible for other people's work. Maybe you don't lead or manage a team. M...

aybe you're just really good at what you do. Guess what? The second most likely offender, is a worker with a perceived valued talent. Well, this doesn't apply to me. I'm good at my job. This doesn't apply to me, I'm good at what I do. Guess what, that doesn't protect you either. We can all get a little better. We can all push our ceiling a little bit higher. We can all build on a stronger foundation. You know I'm gonna make an effort. I'm gonna make an effort to connect with people when I see em the first time every day. I'm at least gonna make eye contact. I'm gonna smile, I'm gonna nod, I'm gonna acknowledge people when I see em. I'm gonna say "Hi." I'm gonna say "Hello." I'm gonna say "Good morning." It's important on the first day of my fifteenth year as it is on the first day of my first year. Maybe more so. All right, so I said always tell the truth, it's kind of a bad news slide, it's kind of a good news slide also. The bad news is, that no one's exempt. In fact, the more you think it doesn't apply to you, the more likely it is that it applies to you directly. But it's also relatively easy to change.

Class Description

Do you have a hard time maintaining good manners and being considerate at work? It might be your attitude. When we look at acting with kindness and politeness as a burdensome obligation rather than something we want to do, we set ourselves up for unconsciously behaving badly.

This course addresses both the opportunities and the costs of good and bad personal skills and will help you focus on the former. Instead of getting trapped in the “Do I have to do this?” mode, you’ll learn how to seize opportunities to build relationships by focusing on the human connections that matter.

In this class, you’ll learn how to:

  • Approach etiquette as an opportunity rather than an obligation.
  • Recognize organizational costs and address them.
  • Identify the most likely instigators and take action.
  • Provide leadership on courtesy at work.
  • Identify emotional responses and take intentional action.
  • Interrupt negative feedback loops caused by bad behavior.