What Does Your Network Seek From You?
I wanna put generosity now into this context of what your network is seeking from you. Because what your network is seeking from you is what you're telling them to ask you for. And this is where you have to start looking at, where are you and what are you putting out there? Go back to our online question. "I'm a teacher, but I wanna do this." That was one of my favorite visuals, particularly when we have so many women, where we're, "Oh, it's unladylike to be bragging and self-promotional." And I always like to go to a Muhammad Ali quote: "It's not bragging if you can back it up." I think it is unconditionally generous to share your knowledge. And that probably comes from being an attorney, where the honing of the craft, sharing information to help other people be successful, to help them in their business ... Because as I said, lawyers back in 1991, we did not put up billboards. Alright, I'll admit it: Super Lawyers, people bragging that they made the Super Lawyers list still causes my...
skin to crawl, and probably always will. I am not going to pick a lawyer or an attorney because they appear in an in-flight magazine as the best whatever in America. Not happening. All right? Where are you sharing information and your expertise so people say, "I need to know that." Where are you giving exceptional client service? For some of us, our exceptional client service is sharing that content, or sharing other people's content, taking an interest in them and providing them with a tool or resource. And in doing so, you're telling them what you wanna be found for, and what you wanna be known for, and the types of opportunities they should be seeking from you. And yes, they should be paying for it. (Kelly laughs) So, don't be afraid to be self-promotional. Really choose to do that. A book review happened for me because a journalist said to me, "Message me on Twitter" and said, "You seem to talk about networking a lot." Yeah, I do, 'cause that's what I care about. That's what I want other people to do well. That's what I wanna be known for. And yeah, guess what? It was kinda self-promotional. But I didn't sit there saying, "I have a book coming out, I'm networking. "I have a book coming out, I'm networking." No, I sat there and provided other articles and opinions. I provided tips and advice that I thought other people would find helpful. And because I do that ad nauseum, someone found me for that information. So that networking and self-promotional generosity, I think you'll all know in your own ... I wanna say in your own gut when you feel like, "Alright, this is getting too one way versus the other." But if you're always thinking, "How am I "sharing this in a way that is ... "Yes, it's helpful for me, but how can "I share this information and these insights "so it's helpful for somebody else?" So in terms of self-promotion ... and knowing and thinking earlier, we also had an online question regarding time. Right? 'Cause you're probably thinking, "Oh my God, Kelly, content and blogging and tweeting and" ... (Kelly gasps) How many hours in the day ... You know, Silicon Valley has done a lot for us, but they have not hacked more hours in the day. And so I'm cognizant of that like anyone else. I want, in terms of, and this is ... like you said, there's another fabulous worksheet that you'll get with this class. I want you to think about, in terms of what you're networking and holding out to the world, and how you are signaling to your network what you wanna be found for ... I want you to start thinking about all these things. Do you have an email signature line? What's on it? Maxi and I were emailing last night. You probably notice now. Maxi, there's an image of my book in my email signature line, and you're like-
I want mine.
You get home and do that. You get home and, you know ... what are your three most recent social media posts? Right? Are they engaging? Do they invite conversation? You know? Is it just an auto feed that someone's like, "Great." Is there a human being behind that? Am I talking about the things that I wanna be found for? There's been a lot of teasing, self-inflicted, about my shoes. There's times and places I network about my shoes, and there's a whole lotta times and places I don't network or talk about my shoes. If we were only connected on LinkedIn, you would have no idea that I am absolutely shoe-obsessed. Now over on Instagram, different story. Absolutely different story. When I was putting this together ... 'cause like I said at the very beginning, networking for me and building relationships has nothing to do with cocktail parties and strangers and coffee dates. It has to do with everything we do. So that's online, that's offline, a first impression. First impression is what? Most people Google us now. Or someone says, "Hey, you should know" ... And what do we do? We go and look up a profile. Or maybe we do meet someone at old-school, traditional, what we think of as a networking event, and we follow up with them online. And so I was laughing when ... When was the last time that you had a professional headshot taken? 'Cause clearly, I need to take a new one. (Kelly laughs) Time to change that picture. Either that, or I just have to decide ... I mean, there might be a benefit for getting one hairstyle for life and then never changing it. I mean, maybe people do that, 'cause, yeah. And yeah, go back to that very first worksheet in terms of, when you think about what you think networking is, when you think about what it is you wanna achieve, and are you getting all this 360 view of yourself? Are you getting all of that working in the direction you wanna go, so that great first meeting, or that fabulous cover letter aligns with the person who walks in the door? Or the person who walked in the door and had that interview aligns with who they now go and check out on LinkedIn. And if you start thinking about ... I mean, maybe for someone, that sounds like work. For me, that makes life a whole lot easier. It doesn't take that much time to fix an email signature line. It doesn't take that much time ... A lot less time and a lot less agonizing than working a room. It doesn't take that much time to fix up some of those little things. You know? Responding to an email better, changing your voicemail message. If anyone calls me on my phone, you'll get my social signaling on voicemail, which is, "Don't leave me a voicemail message." Literally, my voicemail says that. So think about the things that can signal to people who you are, how you wanna be found, where you wanna be found, where you want to be found for. 'Cause it can either be really additive to all that you're trying to achieve, or it can kinda be a drag. I'm not gonna say it's gonna stop you, but it's gonna drag you back.