The Power of Gentleness
The next one that we're going to is kind amazing strange here but it's called the power of gentleness there's so many uh I'm going to call it for lack of a better word masculine uh there's so much that kind of energy around business you know that like just push forward you know you could do it you know that kind of sports military kind of energy and there's some value in that and value might be you could say more in the domain of the domain of fearlessness in uh in the shambala teachings we talked about fearlessness and gentleness being this kind of two counterpoints um but really gentleness is probably the hidden power that uh maybe as a culture maybe as people we discovered a certain point um that when we soften and were kind and gentle to ourselves and gentle towards other people there is a tremendous sense of potency and power that comes through and uh this is something that might seem counterintuitive you know you might think well this is rough out there you gotta you know but tha...
t actually titans you up and this is sort of almost in a realm ofa when you explore this in relation to physical exchange like in something like tiki um my uh teacher sat han said that the most powerful punch you ever saw I was a little old lady in a theater and she's just putting on her coat and an arm got stuck in the country started pushing through a prism like that nothing next you know we're this is like a physical thing if you tighten up you have no power if you push too hard you have no power so the softness azaz a metaphor there for in terms of our kind of interaction with the world when we soften and just receive we're more willing to receive to uh let somebody be whoever they are to take them in to really listen who said something about listening earlier today yeah you said the power of listening that's gentleness that means you your agendas suspended for a minute and you actually just sort of tuning to that person that's that's some very, very, uh potent energy field so gentle it's also um being gentle means we're willing to feel our heart share our inner vision and feelings and maybe even fail sometimes channel this gives us the strength to get up and start over I can't emphasize this enough really um how uh this might be the hidden power then treasure if you look a conflict it always has this kind of curve to it it's accelerating if one person moves into a receptive energy we would call yin energy the aggression has nowhere to go so uh but gentle it does not mean that you're being run over that you're a doormat so that's a misconception about it that you become a kind of uh willing fop for somebody else's aggression that's not what we mean by its also gentleness with presence so that you are willing to actually maintain your ground but without aggression so um you can see in the world I mean we can see certain examples of that with certain political things like gandhi nelson mandela that transformed whole societies without firing a shot you know that's what studying in terms of our personal level of interaction um sometimes we may have to use the sword you know we might have to cut you can't you can't just always um be on the receiving end sometimes you have to take the active role but I think this other aspect of our lives is underplayed in most cases and also the notion of failing like talking about meditation practice most you're not gentle enough when they meditate on dh that's why it's hard and that's why they're resistant to it that's why they want to start with two minutes you know it's like you know there's so much a sense of not being able teo to abide to reside in one's own body and mind and so therefore this all that's being advocated the magicians that you sort of take a moment be with yourself in a quiet way and there's so much uh habitual aggression towards ourselves that's the biggest obstacle that really must be belive I've taught face in terms of just being able to settle in and if the notion of gentleness and like suspending judgment and open heartedness is introduced like the meta my trim and loving kindness to mention of it that gives us tremendous arc in space for a meditation practice and for our life so I thought we could maybe reintroduce uh today which we haven't touched on again yet the idea of the meditation practice here and maybe see if we could bring out this aspect of the practice by doing it all together I'll do a little guided meditation uh and um you know you could say and meditating there's a sort of crisp edge of president awareness but when you come when you label thinking you come back there's something quite penetrating about that but there's also a softening and a kind of um um opening uh off really opening up your heart to yourself you know like a zip you actually love yourself you know which sometimes seems like an obvious thing that we should do but it's not necessarily that thing that were habituated doing so emphasizing that in the meditation practice so if you would at at home and here in the studio everybody we're just gonna do a little guided meditation practice and as we mentioned yesterday thie essential practices tio take a good seat that was the first step second step is placing your attention in a particular way this case on the breath going in and out of the body you have a good posture um you if you're sitting on your chair you can just put your feet flat on the floor if you like you can sit on a cushion on the floor you're meditating just resting your hands on your knees so indicate the start of a period and then I'll lead us through it you can also elongate your spine so you have really good posture without being forced you like you can just keep your eyes and you're all your sense perceptions open with a soft focus so your gaze is downward relaxed feel is that far on the out breath it's almost as if you're saying the word are so there's a feeling of relaxation and release and again joy your attention to the breathing with a soft focus a light touch of awareness you can either focus your awareness at the tip of the nose or with the stomach rising and falling what with the full cycle of breath and then when your attention wanders away and you notice you're thinking about something else gently harsh judgment without resistance gently noticed that and then gently bring your awareness back to your breath my breath is just normal breathing there's no attempt to manipulate it breathe gently and when your attention wanders away you notice you're lost in thoughts just notice that notice what the thoughts are touching on them gently and gently bring your attention back to your breathing you can scan your body if you feel tension anywhere in your body you could just let it relax maybe shoulders are tied I can just feeling the breath going in and out almost like feeling the way was the ocean from that position just raise your gaze toe eye level and just see what you see and continue with a light touch of awareness on the breathing you could do a little stretch if you like you might want to start your day this way by ten minutes like that you might want to end your day like that and you might want to have a period during your day like that doesn't have to be that long if we meditate for long periods of time we go deeper into there's a tendency for our resistance and are habitual patterns to kind of come up stronger so you can sort of penetrate deeper into the um barnacles that have accumulated but just as a refresher you nose in sort of tone setting you know and then if you want to add whatever you do when you do this practice I recommend you do it very purely don't mix it with other practices but after if you want it to your gratitude practice or your prayers whatever you have or a lot I work in your diary but keep it separate this practice is just the very pure um, straightforward kind of approached the meditation so the power of gentleness my dear friends wait could have a a little bit of a discussion there it brings to mind and the book power versus force in the whole realm of applied kinesiology and just think it's uh I'm wondering if you have any thoughts on if you're familiar with that book, do you have any thoughts on that? I'm not it sort of sounds very much in alignment with what we're talking about though from the title who wrote that you know, the author's name is escaping me right now but it's really he's talking about the principles of applied kinesiology which is the taiji s sort of ancient mother all that right exactly it's ah it's ah very interesting experience to bring this into the physical realm because the physical realm um has a verification aspect to it you know, like it's sort of tangible and you can sort of feel the results of something and when you literally relax the body and the breath in the mind and just sort of feel another person the level of strength goes up not down it's just a system you know that, right? So so that's a very interesting to get in in the physical world there's a lot of evidence you could say in a way the whole physical world is evidence of of of the mind you know it's the footprints of the mind so um I don't know that exact book but I can feel like it's relevant it's really it's relevant also because it's the direct application of brain mind bringing together haven't unearthed really he that whole science yeah, you know, just before I came here I I was looking on youtube and because my interest in this area there was, um it came up with aikido and the gentleman who founded aikido I'm not sure from saying more hey cuba there's some video of him if you all can check that out it's pretty it's pretty amazing and he's basically saying that the act of interacting with somebody even in a con for situation is an act of love that was a really big breakthrough in that in that area and he's is tiny and he's just throwing people all over the place and with quite a bit of force but then when he is uh it's a very good way actually to see meditation because even when he's sitting and just sort of watching the students is super meditative quality about it it's almost like what we're presenting here his eyes they're sort of soft very present, you know as if he has nowhere to go didn't come from anywhere not going anywhere but right now this is when this is happening, so um you know, for some of us having a physical practice of the certain point could be a good, good edition where we begin to take our meditation practice into a kind of movement area and then of course, the ultimate movement is our whole life and business is a kind of movement, so when we take you know these principles and bring them into our business, which is what we're going to be talking about today and hopefully having some fun with that so anybody else have any comment on gentleness as the power of gentleness? Chat room david, while our students think about that pan years young saying the power of gentleness is something I have never thought about before, it is a great concept that I plan now to use in everything I do. I definitely believe I've been way too hard on myself in past years. He has something I think a lot of us do, isn't it? Yes. Yeah sort of ah, underlying panic really that because the other thing journalist is it involves sort of patients. I like the idea that you could rest a little bit more and not just jump on yourself like a like a big brother jumps on you and others are echoing exactly what they're saying zoe dj saying gentleness and compassion they are acts that let others in on that the self algae here zoe what's running zg spelled c g I let zoe essential because your name has meaning and tibetan cd means confidence and brilliance but z I j I think the middle way saying be gentle soft and kind to everyone to yourself to everybody's lives and you will feel that power it can't be described it can only be felt by one cell was also during it kind of large sense of potential energy growing especially as we were here and as I looked up there was this large sense of was a great potential that could act you and the other thought I had was that gentleness permits integration of the various parts as opposed to because sometimes challenge can like split things and then there's this struggle to try to wrangle them gentleness is this implicit everything's included everything's invited and there's more power there you felt that during the see that, uh, gentleness is sharing your inner vision um one thing that, um I think people find challenging is being able to share their ideas, their feeling comfortable sharing their ideas um thinking that someone may still their idea and so that's one thing that prevents them I'm always doing a project with a singularity university and one of the foxy members there was saying that how likely is it for someone to stop whatever they're doing in life and pursue your idea versus connecting you with somebody that can help you build your idea so it just kind of put things in perspective and there's also just learning like the value of collisions and working together and sharing ideas of people getting feedback us another way to validate your idea. Thomas you have something yesterday you mentioned to focus on the inherent goodness of people, the idea that at the coffe everybody is something that wants to be loved and be good and there's been a guy called carl rogers, a psychologist who talked about unconditional positive regard, so when we like interact with the others to hold them with the idea of unconditional positive regard, you and you know that somebody else mentioned patients earlier context off, you know, they go at a certain pace and kind of thing unconditional positive regard that sort of in shambala what we call basic goodness that's very much the same thing it's unconditional it's not based on your last hit. You know, three love cannot be managing teams in past lives. I always remind people nobody gets up in the morning and says, how can I screw up today on just don't everything comes into the office of whatever the positive energy things get in the way and they go wrong, but as long as you remember that if somebody annoys you or gets in your way or whatever, they're not doing it deliberately you've got to have that understanding that everybody's having their own their own com of their own issues whatever is happening but nobody comes to work saying you're gonna nail that person the good point just to share with you g says l a well very cool zg is actually short for then garden uh she's got it every which way happening here that's good zg it's like a kind of shining like, you know, blazing inequality so like if you could imagine, you know, sitting on top of a beautiful white horse with a kind of plume and you know you know that kind of splendor that's that's not actually resonates she's sharing by her work involves helping people find emotional healing and I often advised them to treat themselves as they would treat a cherished friend going through a similar experience so that reminds me told me that um mega producer little shout out to meg for all the hard work she put into this uh putting this workshop together uh mention that somebody did right in who was it did healing work then they were interesting talking about, um healers valuing they're they're offering andi sometimes being confused by like thing it should be free or whatever. So of course there's uh a great point there if you go to aa healer in the west known as a psychiatrist they don't seem to have any problem valuing their offering you know, on dh doctors don't seem to have any trouble valuing they're offering so when we get into alternative healing modalities of course it's a little bit off the grid so it might be a little bit harder to evaluate but in terms of I think at a certain point if we hang out a shingle is a healer um and maybe it's not based strictly on kind of conventional credentials but on some kind of talent that we have in that area uh if people are genuinely benefiting from that that's a very valuable uh offering um, tricky area so I do want to do wantto acknowledge I don't remember the name of the person who wrote that and if you're still watching and if you want to write in we could sort of progress that conversation a little bit maybe what your exact concern is um but it is interesting that for example, just from my world like yoga on there's some hangover in the yoga community about like should be free should be an offering you know, uh should be some kind of service, but by and large the idea of people paying for yoga class is pretty well established and then if they do a one to one offering, they um uh you know, charge an appropriate amount for that seventy five dollars a hundred dollars under twenty five dollars whatever you have now, when it comes to meditation, it's very introduces less tangible it's a little harder to and some people you know, on the cutting edge of this they're trying to figure out is this a valuable, viable service to provide for somebody? How do you monetize it and it's? Interesting even in the communities that are offering these services there's a lot of a conversation about it. The kind of traditional model, uh, ancient malice is called donna or generosity donation has made so that's interesting. They don't have any problem in that community when very generous donations made it's also on the nonprofit side. But the idea of it is right livelihood, I think it's something in the west we have to really sort of recalibrate. It was a very good question, something that, you know, if whoever wrote that in still with us, you should you should follow up on that one what's quicker. Okay, great. So if they flick your high, if you out there, um, good point and let's hear a little more from you over the day, if you like me to continue that, maybe we could keep an eye out for flicker coming in. Um, so, um, final point in today, uh, this this first section in the morning is, uh, in terms of the poverty mentality don't be embarrassed express yourself oh goodness this is uh when when I do this workshop live with people I go okay, you know what you say you're creative let's do it right now you're a singer sing you know and people would just go do you know we've had opera singer below the roof off the place people taking out trumpets uh artwork, calligraphy a rapper you know we are talking about manifesting creativity means you got to do it so I say this to people in the you know, in the music I think we'll just be ready to take out your guitar you piano and sing a song and it's amazing how powerful that could be under certain circumstances I think the the beautiful kind of commercial version of this is the voice ever see that show the voice or or what's the other one there's a couple of other ones american idol and expect it took off for a while because it's just the basic talent show of life you know, like if we had a talent show here like when everybody when I first came, everybody did a participant in doing a person of midnight to oasis and a ll these people chris singing different lines from the song and dancing around and all of a sudden everything is just much more like oh, these air human beings this is a fun place everybody's got a got a feelings they have they have expression um so that could be tremendously uh leasing for people to just express themselves and get over that kind of like, you know, uh singing in the shower only kind of mentality and even people who professional singers oh, I can't do that now you know so that's what what? I find anything about the voice and those shows as they do it acapella without any musical accompaniment you know and you just have to step up and go I am a singer I'm a creative this's what this workshops about we're saying this is the creative people okay let's see it so what I'm saying here is on this on this particular point hey, express yourself nobody is watching nobody except maybe your boss your collaborator or your client you have nothing to lose except your job and your dignity express yourself so that's kind of the final point there is daring you know? Do we dare to be that which we profess to be? You know, that's that's sort of now there's an overdrive version of this some people would say, you know, I think it's time for a time out for you you could hit the pause button expressing yourself for the benefit of other people having a chance you know, but in general most of us are holding back that's kind of my experience anyhow so whenever there is a talent show or something where were you know time to tell jokes or uh you know, share a little bit of spontaneity that can really move people miles along the track and interestingly enough when we get to sales later on that can really lubricate sales if you have that kind of expression and freedom off of of somebody being themselves so in this in this part of the workshop we're still really talking about the relationship between creativity and money here but here this last point is really about just not being afraid to uh to show what you got what you waiting for you know what are we waiting for so, um I think everybody relates to that maybe we just have our final little conversation about that for a minute or two uh what kind of experiences have you had holding back expressing yourself and uh even if anybody wants to express themselves right now they could jumper years saying right aren't you um had a songwriter some writer yeah I like this thing yeah do you like this thing right now? Sure what's I think whatever you like don't encourage her see now there's the voice we're trying to get deal with everybody wait you should tell the back story wait no no no john morey and I did sing live on friday on created together there's a song that's armory wrote wow specifically for us to do for photo shot week it's being turned into a music video right now right now I'm actually tone deaf from when charmery called me the night the foreign ship by the way you're singing live on creative life in the morning I said something that can't be repeated I didn't actually do it wait for the music video but yes she's very talented drummer you could try about yourself adjusting the one line okay photo shop a week twenty fourteen it's been really amazing that's wait you think a ll the juices are flowing so it's available on I wake you so we've had some beautiful moments and I think if we ever do this again we're going to include this it's a little tricky to put together because I don't know you people and obviously, you know, music is the easiest one to come right out with it, but on one of my workshops we had, you know, concert viola player and it was just when you just get into that space of expression, it's just completely fresh space and we're really talking about that. So you know, we all need to be ready to manifest our creativity and our expression so that's what this last slogan is about their, uh that takes us through our first session this morning we're going to really switch mood after a fifteen minute break, which will take you in a couple of minutes and we're going to the hearts of the hard stuff sales and marketing okay, okay everybody's gonna get a lot oh uh, ready for that kind of energy to come in because we're talking there about activating kind of energy going from inertia where you're kind of like kind of settled into a certain plateau of inertia and things are just kind of like okay where they are and just getting out your blade and cutting, cutting, cutting through and get your offering out there. Okay? So that's what's going to the next section? I don't know if we have any wrap up for for this one, take a fifteen minute break. Now I notice kelly shrinking into the core of the word marketing eyes, something that I know kelly really is working hard on sign of this is going to be sexual, it comes up to you that I'm sure lots of you out there having the same challenges when it comes in sales and marketing sales is a a word that makes me shiver, so I think we're going to learn a lot more about how to approach that just wanna go out with one comment chat rooms are alive right now with huge kudos to john marie for singing that lady off record deal offers, right? Absolutely yeah I already signed, and we're coming carnegie hall one month, starting in april. But just go out with a comment that I thought was I really enjoyed reading from masaki saki, saying, if our thoughts linger in an anger or sadness, that's, how we're going to live our lives. So we should cultivate gentle thoughts, generosity, kindness and act on them. And that way, our life can follow. I appreciate that, masaki, thank you for sharing that.