A Vision of Success
I want to start with my definition of success and see if you agree with this definition, my definition of a successful business is one that fuels and feeds, serves and support the whole of your life, and it doesn't swallow you whole because my bet is you probably like me have been swallowed whole or maybe swallowed whole right now by your business and that's not working out so well. So the idea is that really and truly we get to this wonderful place where our business is something we're leaping into with joy every morning, and we're getting through the challenges and the obstacles that they're gonna happen during the course of the day because that's, just the way businesses, and at the end of the day, we're feeling like, wow, I did it, I had a great day, there were a few wrinkles I got him worked out or that challenge, we're working through it, and I'm feeling really good, and you are stepping into it as your whole self. The challenge today is that was social media. You get that linked...
inside of you, that one hundred eighty degrees buttoned up professional and over here on the facebook side, you got the relax at the backyard barbecue and today, to really be successful in business, you want to merge those two into one whole complete three hundred sixty degree colorful personality so that you're not just showing up leaving your best bits at home every morning you've got to bring the whole enchilada into what you're doing and if what you're doing isn't juicing you the right way that we've got to find a way to ignite that passion to move you forward now there's several possible outcomes you can have hopefully you'll take your business to the next level during the time we have together option number two is you find a brand new business idea that you want to pursue what should be really cool also and you realize that you know what what you've been pursuing is just not what you thought it wass and that's totally okay too, but the idea is that you become immersed in the process and willing to do the work roll up your slaves because mine are already rolled up and and dive into it. This is not work I can do for you I'll do it with you and that's the best piece so we want to create that business that fuels and feeds the whole of your life and what that means is that we want to know your definition of success. So do any of you have a different definition of success than what I shared again? Yes definition of success is a business that fuels and feeds, serves and supports the whole of your life and doesn't swallow you whole give you anything to add to that? I think the only thing I'd add is that it makes a difference in the world awesome. She needs to have a big impact needs to make a difference. Thank you, judy. Welcome. Yes, catherine on so being financially comfortable so okay games a success? Yeah, financially through whatever degree that means to you because it means something different to each person. Thank you for adding that. Katharine appreciate that. Yeah, I'd say you know, kind of to pick up from judy just serves on supports other people brings to other people what it is that I have to offer. Fantastic. Thank you, ruth. Okay, that's awesome. And I'm hoping that we're going to get some some tweets in from the online audience about what that means. Just remind everyone out there if you are watching you haven't done so yet. Go ahead and click that chat but and jump into our chat room. Jim is in there and he's going to be chatting with you guys over the next couple of days so you can share your examples as well. So when we're doing that here in the studio that's your opportunity to share your thoughts in the chat room you can also click the ask but and just to the right of the video window and that's going to allow you to ask specific questions to melissa so this is going to be an interactive experience jump in there if you have not done so definitely all right the big question where am I going? Where are each of you going? Where are you going in your business? Where are you going in your life and what we're going to do this morning is determine that direction and we're not going to necessarily put all the steps in place we're coming to that we gotta have that big vision first because without the big vision you're really on a plane to nowhere, aren't you? So we've got a nail down that big vision and we've got to unleash your imagination, which is your greatest asset in this and we've got to banish your doubter because there's going to be all those doubts I can't do that that won't work by the time we all came out of college or even high school, most of us had those voices pretty thoroughly entrenched and I'm asking you to put those voices aside for today and the next couple of days so that we can bring forth what you really want to see happen, so this is really about living the life of your dreams you have that ability, every single person has that ability most people play really really small and I want to change that for you and then it's about let the world know your story now I've got some story pieces that I'm going to share with you today, and I got story pieces I'm going to share throughout this presentation, and you're going to have a chance to share your story pieces, too, and some very unique formats that when I say story, I mean the good pieces we're not talking about to drama, ok, we want to leave the drama behind. We all have drama pieces, and when you go forward hauling that with you, you're hauling baggage. We want to let the baggage go and move forward lighter and brighter, so letting the world know your story, there are three essential ingredients, and at this point we're going to move into your workbook and you're going to move to page five ok, page five in the workbook, the three ingredients essential to success, passion, purpose and a plan if you are missing any one of the three it's not gonna happen now, I'm going to dive into the passion piece right now because my mother new at seven years old, what she wanted to do with her life, and in fact, she went to her parents, my grand parents, and she said, I want to be an actress well, I don't know if you remember seven or if you have children and remember what their seven was like but seven's a pretty sketchy time you're thinking one day you want to be a dentist one day you want to be a dancer she never changed her mind. Four years later she went back to her parents, my grandparents and she said, I want to take acting lessons and they're a little on the conservative side so they kind of looked at in this as well and you could take acting lessons if you keep up your grades if she keeps up her grades her grade shot through the roof my mother is only eleven years old was filled with passion, purpose and getting towards a plan. At thirteen, she was on stage at seventeen in film and in twenty three years old she garnered an oscar for best supporting role in a little remembered film co starring tyrone power called the razor's edge back in forty six and it was not an easy road. It was not overnight. She had a lot of bumps along the way and she reinvented herself regularly because the medium of acting reinvented itself as well. She started out on the big stage, then moved to the big screen, then went to the little box of tv, which is now a bigger screen these days and then she moved into books and she wrote a book called intermission which was about her life in australia with my dad and having us because we were an intermission in her life her career was her love that was her first an absolute love and she had an insatiable curiosity about life the curiosity of a child when we're all children were curious we go through this face is where we say why why why? Why? And then as we grow older, we stop asking questions it's and I want to encourage you as you move through this program with me to reopen your child like sense of wonder which my mother never lost she was so tuned in to finding out about other countries, cultures, customs and people her whole goal in being an actress was to climb inside your life and see it from your eyes, which is an amazing gift to have and when you can do that with your clients, you've gone to the next level in your business when you can essentially almost read their minds and know what they want before they want it. One of my very early client experiences an interior design was a client of mine that I had completed his installation and I called him about five o'clock and I said, bo, we've just installed it's fantastic because really it's that good I said, you know it's so good I'm willing to buy it for me if you don't like it it was a very bold statement on my part. I waited five hours for him see it. I sat at home knowing my fingernails, not sure what was gonna happen, scared to death that he didn't like it cause I didn't hear anything because I called him at work ten o'clock at night. He calls me he goes, you knew where I was going before I did greatest statement I've ever heard, and I didn't even try to do that. It was just an intuitive inmates sense that I had when you are in your zone you have that intuitive, innate sense. My mother had that about acting now mother had another quality and this is a wonderful statement. Siento life don't just look at it. Most of us spend our days looking at things instead of seeing in them to take that one with you. That's a writer downer. But mother did whatever it took be on her best. I know a lot of us have got a place. Well, I did my best. Sometimes our best is not enough. Sometimes we really need to step into that space of doing whatever it takes, which is beyond our best and it's. A beautiful place to step it truly is now. Next up is purpose as an ingredient, you interestingly, my great grandfather started out with a purpose given to him by his mother. I come from a long line of very strong women you may come from a long line of strong women as well. You just may not know the rest of their stories I haven't an advantage with that and I know some of these stories she had told him you will be an architect but not just unordinary architect a global force for creative change so he had his purpose this was his purpose. The passion came and so did the plan. And in fact you may recognize this building the guggenheim is designed by my great grandfather frank lloyd wright, so he had the purpose early on and adopted the passion now interestingly, great grandfather had a very rocky career path while he is america's most famous architect he's definitely not the most favorite he was often broke, bailed out by clients sounds really good to me and only clients willing to bail me out bailed out by clients and then he wouldn't pay his creditors instead he would run off and he would buy another car. He would buy another grand piano he would buy another japanese woodblock print and he had a wonderful expression which I have often lived by even the occasional indebted periods in my life give me the luxuries of life and I will gladly live without the necessities I love that it works for me but the beautiful part of that that statement is it puts you in the land of and and takes you out of a land of or a nd versus o r and that's where you want to move your clients too because you want them not to be choosing between things with you but to doing it all and you've got to step into that place first in your own lives so it's very important to step into that land of and and feel what that's like because it's an amazing place to live it truly is now it means you can have your all not it all it all is too vague what is it all when people say you can have it all or you can't have it all? What is it? We know what it is this is about defining you're all and that's what we're going to do with the vision boards today we're going to find you we're all belongs to you not to anybody else nobody else has to approve of it it's yours and yours alone and the beautiful part about this is you don't have to share it with another living soul or you can share it with everyone just keep in mind anybody who reigns on your parade walk away from them, let them go that's not energy you need and they're never right because it's your parade, not theirs and if they're raining on your parade it's probably because they've had there's rained on way too often and that's the sad truth of it now great grandfather had another quality that actually got him into a little bit of hot water occasionally his confidence that was often perceived is just arrogance okay? He loved every bit of himself he thought he was the cat's me out and in many ways he waas he was also not a very nice person to a lot of people who worked for him he was extremely difficult to work four and he was also difficult to work with, which explains why he had often ten and twenty year dry spells without getting clients on board because he became impossible to work with. He did not listen to his clients well, he was a dictator the clients that hired him accepted that they were willing to work with that the ones that didn't I didn't hire him he also if he had been alive when I had a chance to be is an interior designer called us inferior, desecrate ear's so he didn't have any love for interior designers interior decorators have always gotten a big kick a lot of that, but unfortunately I was born a little too late, so I didn't have that chance now the third ingredient is the plan you've got to have a plan. Passion and purpose is not enough, I'm sure you all know passionate people, they have a purpose, but they have no plan and they're racing to get to know where, because there's no plan. So you got to have a plan now. Interestingly, my godmother started out with the plan. She didn't have the passion and purpose kind of a backwards way of doing it. You may recognize her through google. Google did a tribute to my aunt edith is what I call her, and an eighty started out. She was twenty seven years old see mom started out seven great grandfather, seventeen and an e t was twenty seven. She found herself newly divorced, she didn't have any kids, and she was teaching french at an exclusive all girls school in loya, and she thought, you know, I want something creative in my life. I want to do something different, I don't know exactly what it is. She didn't have any artistic background, she'd never even taken an art class before, but she wanted to earn more money teaching didn't pay very well even back then, and so what she did was she went to the school, and she said, I'd like to teach an art course, and they said, oh, well you're teaching french you must know european art sure well she probably went signed up and took art classes at a local college at night because she had no no art talent no no ability behind her every sunday her plan she perused the most wanted she thought I'm going to know it when I see it and that one sunday it happened leapt off the page at her it was a contest being held by paramount studios the lead costume designer was looking for his next protege all she had to do was submit a portfolio didn't say it had to be hers so she went to those fellow students in the evening classes and she borrowed some of their drawings and she compiled a fabulous portfolio she submitted it the lead designer and his team were blown away they had never seen said delicious still lifes extraordinary portrait pse and serene landscapes all from the hands of one woman she won the contest they had to bring her in she appeared on her first day dressed as only the protege to the lead costume designer would be black pleated skirt well below her knees many years ago black mary janes crisp white blouse and her hair pulled back in what would one day become her signature bun black fringe bangs and her black round frame glasses she presented herself and they presented her with a sketch pad and instructions to sketch she had to freeze she had to explain what she done and she did explain it and the lead costume designer was so taken by her audacity that he took her on one and it became a fifty plus year career where she garnered thirty five oscar nominations and one eight of them still the record today this is from someone who had no known talent was taking classes at a local college didn't wait until something landed on her saying you have the talent, she said, this is what I want to do, I'm going to go do it she had the same do whatever it takes as my mother fabulous lesson in being able to go from zero to your dream because of your drive and because of her plan, her plan worked and she adopted her passion, her purpose rather quickly and she had a wonderful expression to you can be anyone you want if you just dress the part now the tricky piece of this is it's, not just how you're dressing your physical body it's how you're dressing your mind and it's the part we forget to dress we put the clothes on in the morning, but we forget to dress our attitude, so are you dressing for where you are? Where are you dressing for where you're going and that's your body and your mind, your mind's a big, big piece of this and an eighty as far as I'm concerned was a significant risk taker oh my gosh doing what she did then getting caught and being willing to fess up instead of going and hiding like most of us would have done we would've been mortified we wouldn't know what to d'oh and she went and stood in that took responsibility and blew it out of the water over the next fifty years pretty cool stuff the reality is you've got to be able to go out on the wing you going people stepped forth in faith without all the answers none of us have the answers before we get there they show up along the way and it's only by taking those steps for that it makes the biggest difference so this is really about writing your new life chapter you can start at any moment the beautiful part is if you're halfway through writing a new chapter now and you're like oh you know I don't like how the staff is turning out start all over again put a new piece in the typewriter and start typing a new story any moment, any day, any week, any month you can start over again it's never too late you've got to dream really big this is a very interesting piece because I was at an event a couple of weeks ago and one of the women that I've been in touch with via email we did the vision board exercise and I checked in on her a few times and I noticed but she only had two images on her board and I said what's going on we've got lots of materials to work with, she said. I just don't have any dreams and it made me really sad because I think so much at this point in time we have the dreams beaten out of us, we have the life's not fair, it doesn't matter you can't have that and that's just not right the reality is you will get in life what you go after when you go after it with persistence and consistence and that's really the key is you've got to be able to dream big this is about unleashing your dreamer, igniting your imagination, being willing to put your doubts in a box you can bring him out later that's cool personally, I believe in either burning your doubts or shredding your doubts. I don't think bringing them back out makes a lot of sense, but if you want to hang on to them if they're like a safety blanket they can be, then I would put him in a box and you can bring about play with a later but you've got to dream really big and there are many areas in your life that you're going to want to impact it's not just one area our life has multiple avenues. The other piece of this is there's no balance there's no balance there's fusion we want to go for work life fusion and skip the idea of balance because balance requires you to well, I have to leave work now because I have to have the balance a family time and I have to be a different person when I'm at home with my family than I am at work. No, you want to be that same person, but remember you're building your business to serve in support fuel and feed the whole of your life. So when your business is working the way it should, the way it can the way it will then you're in awesome shape because then it's going to fuel and serve and support the whole of your life and balance will take care of itself and show up this fusion and you won't be that separate person so let's, take a closer look. What will success look like for you it's about building an exciting vision of your future and you may have done vision boards before we're going to do it a little bit differently. This is essentially what a vision board might look like, what some do look like I actually have in my home office a corkboard wall ten feet by four feet of my fishing port I have a big vision and the beautiful part about cork is you're able to change it out because your vision like you it's flexible it's a flexible blueprint for your future if one day you go and you say you know I'm not feeling this image anymore I'm not feeling that word anymore change it covered up take it off repent it however you put the board together is how you want to keep going with this so with this we're going to dive into the boards you've each got aboard in front of you ok, clear the space around it and you've got two choices this format here this is a bagua map now if you're not familiar with that one it's part of funk shway spelled feng shui I used to teach this it evening at emory and it's a chinese philosophy of placement that based on the placement of objects and items the energy will shift and change. I actually really like to create my vision boards based on the bagua map, so what I did was I blew it up and I put it on this phone court for you on dh you've got all the areas on your seat got wealth and prosperity in the upper left moving down to health and community down the bottom is wisdom and personal development this also works really well when I I taught this aa lot of my students would make this their desk blotter and you could put it out you know there's really big bloggers that you get with a clear surface on top it's a really cool way to do it you could do the career and mission in c on my desk itself my career in mission is my black blogger and then I move into good fortune and then up here famous reputation I have a stack of thank you notes from clients it's my family, my reputation and then helpful people in travel my phone is located in that corner so that's helpful people coming through and then children and creativity I don't have any children in my life but I'm certainly a creative so I keep a cup of colored pencils there to remind me of that and then relationships family colleagues, partners, spouses, friends that's kind of a catch all you could put a picture of you and your significant other up in that corner um could be a picture of you and brad pitt if you're single and on the market looking or your actor actress of choice depends on what you want. Now if you find this too complicated plan b very very simple you can glue this down on top of that and this has future versus now and then more investment versus less investment more recent sources versus less resources so for example let's say you were going to embark on a an exercise program and you were going to use the gym, you're going to do this on your own, okay, so doesn't require a lot of resources goes down in here and you could start it now instead of in the future, because you've been promising, you're going to do it one day, that's not working out very well. So on the other hand, if you're looking at maybe a new car and you're thinking, ok, that's going to be next year, michael future and high resource is because you have to create the income for it, okay? So pick which ever one of these you want to use, and I will give this back to you, all right? And then I want you to dive into your packet of labels because what you're going to find once you get past the white ones are all sorts of images, from balloon trips to speaking to family images. Tio a new mercedes to business growth to a cool house, tio scuba diving, painting the images are to remind you of what you want out of life. The scuba diving image may not mean scuba diving to you. It may mean diving deep into your passion, so you consort the's anyway, you want, you can use all of them or just a few of them, and I'm going to come around and see how you're doing with this and help you put this together in meaningful ways. What I would encourage you to do is pull all the images out first, then lay them out, then stick them down now they're a couple of other ways you can do this very same exercise it doesn't have to be on a board it khun b in what we call an attraction box this is another way to do it I don't find this is impactful but it's the quick and dirty approach where you keep a really pretty box and every time you see something in a magazine or a catalog or even online you want to print it off you see an image, you see a word choice, something that you like you can go ahead and pop it in this box and then occasionally sit down and look through the box and I can tell you from personal experience how impactful this all khun b because I've done both boards and I've done vision books um vision book I did and this was probably almost ten, ten plus years ago. Now I created the whole book I had dividers in it to do with relationship to do with my career to do with travel um to do with my home to do with my car and things like that and then I had to move, so I packed it up I forgot about it for two years when I pulled it back out, I had achieved eighty percent of what I set out to dio now I wasn't married and living in greece, but I had that option I had the choice s so that's really important that you really unlock your limiting beliefs on this one, put them in a box, stash them in your handbag, stash them in your wallet you can pull them out later as I said, but I really think big because it's by thinking big that you're going to achieve more than you ever imagined possible, and I also have gotten every house that I've ever set my heart on because of my vision boards even houses that I really should not have been able to buy, that the contract should have been fully contingent or there should been something else written in happened because I created a vision board and every time I started to doubt I would go pull the vision board out and I would look at it and I would feel myself in that space. This needs to be a sensory experience. Hey, this is not just about what you see it's about what you smell that what you taste that what you hear and the feeling piece of this so this is when I've wave melissa's magic one over your head and you wake up in the morning and you have the opportunity the skill set the location, the money the people in your life the people in your business supporting you the clients that you want what does that look like feel like sound like tastes like and smell like and put that together and there's no wrong way to do this it's all right, because it's all you so this is the greatest gift you can give yourself I've done he's a lot and I always have the adults saying, wow, I did this with my grandchild but I never thought to do it for myself and when your doubter comes up ask me because I have a way to banish your doubter I remember doing it one day and, uh one of the women there uh an executive in her company said, well, I want a personal chef, but I can't afford that I said, how do you know you can't afford a personal chefs? You know, I just know I can't afford it I said, ok, well, I know something about personal chefs I've checked out with a charge, so let me share with you what I found out she goes, oh, I probably couldn't do that and I should not that you could so the reality is we have doubts because we don't have enough knowledge knowledge eliminates the doubts if you think you can't afford something ask find out about it yet the brochures check with the right people all right you got your image is laid out your images were laid out you're putting together on the board this is awesome. All right I'm gonna wonder around the room at the front edge here okay to do that okay cool all right let's take a look and see we got going on here you know, one of the things I want to do is be a speaker something cool that would probably goes there yeah yeah yeah there we go there yeah yeah I think I'll go there yeah very cool. You're in a really magical place right now because you're at this point where options are wide open totally you've got the business you've been doing but you've gotten that wake up call yeah yeah yeah you kind of did but what a beautiful thing to have happen well and what I found out to, um some of the some of the ways that people responded to me because I was very open about what I was going through and now I want to incorporate that into what I'm doing so it's a part of who I am going for what he found new ways to connect with them intuitively yeah and you want a leverage it actually yeah that's great that's breaks we'll check back in this is great mi ok love seeing this well I'm sitting this any questions from you guys? Because you're starting to put these together any questions for melissa? Yeah, yeah. He's arrested for good fortune part because I like to think, you know, I don't want to rely on good fortune. You know, I wanna rely on well, good fortune thinking. Think of good fortune as the culmination of everything that you want. It's rather like prosperity to me does not just mean money. It means great health. It means amazing relationships. That means incredible clients. It means fabulous world travel. Prosperity is kind of all encompassing. Fortunate blessings and that's. What good fortune. It's. Ok, ok. So if you found an image that just sort of made your heart sing, put that image in good fortune. Ok? Does that makes sense? Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. How are you doing? Great. Yeah, you got this. All laid out was bing bang boom up. You make it very easy by providing all the images. Yeah, that was the bun far fto put one's on interpretation. Ever done that before? You know, and I've always sweated out with all the magazines. This's yeah, I hold a box of magazines. Tio boston. A couple of weeks ago to do this with one hundred, people and I'm like, wait, there's got to be an easier way to do this, and this came to me and I'm like, wow, this is this is working. I love the images. I want to put all these on my board, so I have to talk about their rochelle how're you doing the kalash queen? Excellent. This is very large queen. I love it. Yeah, I love it. Very cool. This is really fun. I have a couple of extra sets if you guys get stuck or you need extra images on anything, just let me know we've got some stickers for you, too, with some word choices and things so you can use these the blank labels you have, you can write on them with sharpie marker, so that's going to make it a lot easier but yet used the word choice is, um, if these don't fit you, you khun trade with the next table. See what's in there. The viewers at home that could be doing this at home they're magallanes saying if they want to get a hold of a board like this, this is something that they could get at any sort of craft store. This is from core what I did was I had a kinko's print me these often we had hear them so you can do it with a piece of poster board I like foam core because it's nice and rigid and you can stand it up and I think it's really important that you find a place at home where you stand your board up and you look at it at least once a day and you just look at that, you go, wow, I'm really feeling this this is feeling amazing. I can't wait to see this happen, thie other big advanced to the board is you want to use it as a decision making tool because every time you make a decision in your business in your life, you look at the board and you go ok? The decision I'm about to make is going to bring me closer to what's on my board closer to my big vision or is it going to pull me further away is going to be a rabbit hole in a detour and I'm not against rabbit holes and detours as long as you know that that's what they are but yeah, this is it's a fun exercise what's really fun is to do this with somebody that you're really close to because inevitably you'll find that they had dreams and visions that you didn't know about that you want to be supportive of now if you do have somebody at home it's not generally supportive, don't share this with it's quite simple keep your dreams safe that matters a lot right now this is important for people in all walks of life, right? Because we have people who are watching here who come from all different backgrounds there's daddy needs to be had for everyone, right? It doesn't matter and it doesn't matter how old you are, it doesn't matter what healthier in it doesn't matter whether you have money or not money, it doesn't matter whether you're a career path you love or don't love, you could be unemployed I you've got to have a vision without the vision you are meandering aimlessly on a path to nowhere um and that does not work. Ah, we've all been in that meandering aimlessly place and it's not very comfortable having that vision is like when somebody says, what do you want to do with your life? You've got and answer for them and it's not to say that your vision won't change that's really important it's about being flexible? This is a flexible blueprint that adapts and changes as we grow and shift and change and have things happen in our own lives? Um, I take things off my board, I put things on my board, you know, I used to think I want to travel constantly, and now I'm thinking maybe not constantly, if little less than constantly would be good use dedicated afternoon too, and it's a good thing. This is constant this's a constant way tio invigorate your imagination, which is the greatest gift you could possibly have. And even einstein had a saying about imagination and that, you know, that's what separates us from all the other animals is that we have imagination and it's time to unleash that instead of sitting on it instead of having it trained out of us, when we get out of high school and out of college, where somebody else has lost their chance to dream, so they're busy squashing our dreams and that's essentially what happens it's unfortunate, but it's true. Oh, awesome! We got the markers out now, that's great that's! Great. So you can do anything over any well, yeah, I know, but you can't read it so that's out there is risk yeah, so I was trying to do it so I can read it it may just have to and you can always right on the on the white ones on the map these guys here I'll just stick it down here because oh, it can be read over that there we go on that I didn't have this is what I didn't have in my yeah I didn't have this in my bag so have to explain this one to you out okay? Because this little book here says everything it's not how good you are it's how good you want to be now I didn't write the book so it's not a plug for may but the guy who wrote the book is unfortunate no longer with us he is a marketing genius paul ardent extraordinary also has another incredible book called whatever you think think the opposite each book is about an hour's read I would encourage you to read this tonight it's that fast it's illustrated it's quick it's pithy but the beautiful part is it says, hey you're playing too small think bigger, play bigger doom or have more of an impact. This is my all time favorite book bar none and I really give it away to clients so really encourage you to read that one it's a it's a great great take um and I'm going to walk through while you guys were doing that so you don't forget any life areas we're going to walk through the different life areas so you've got family relationships if you have family relationships minor little sketchy mom died thirty years ago and I'm sporadically in touch with my sisters at best and nobody's talked to my dad in twenty years, so it doesn't really matter what you have daily relationships or not is my boy I don't want to stress and out there is no perfect there's only what's right for you relationships are the food of life I rely on my friends of my clients to become my family and I've been very, very blessed with that so friends clients I often spend birthdays, christmases, thanksgivings, holidays with them um we've become that close over the years really does make a difference. She won't include a space for them on your board. You also want to include a space for partner spouse mate, if you have one, you could include their photo when you take these home um if you don't have one and you want one, you concluded if you don't have one and don't want one, don't mess with it, okay again, this is entirely up to you on what works for you, and then we need to know about your work what you want to do with more than a third probably close to two thirds of your life when you think about it now and you think about how long people are living there, living like ninety years were working for seventy of those because the moment you stop working, you stop growing, your mind starts to atrophy and that's when you start to die, I don't think anybody wants that, so people are going back to old careers or they're picking up new careers things they never thought they do, because they're bored playing golf all day long or they're bored sitting around the house um, finances matter money is a tool that makes life easier and more fun and gives you a lot more options. Money opens up choices how much money do you want to make your health? Your health is your greatest wealth without question, without your health, you have nothing. I have friends who worked hard all their lives, got into retirement, had big plans to travel, and all of a sudden they lost their health, they couldn't travel, they couldn't do any of the fun things they wanted to dio, so I learned not to wait. So I have a very unique take on life, which is live at the edge of today because I don't know that tomorrow is going to show up, and I kind of got that sense of urgency from my mother's sudden passing as well, life is fragile, perishable and unpredictable. If you're not making the most of each moment, you're missing it because there's no bank of time, we don't get to put deposits in and then take him out when we feel like it. It's just what we have any one of us could walk out the door today and be hit by a random bus or a truck or some other horrible fate could befall us. Witness that here you go if you witness to that that's a scary thing to do but it's it's a wake up call, you know it's do what you want now don't wait a second chance at life and I choose every great to live enjoy were shell that's awesome that's awesome! That makes a big big difference. I woke up every day and give thanks that I haven't heard I have a chance to live better than I did. Yes, yes you do and to live enjoy every moment I choose to live in joy that's absolutely a that is that it's a choice? I was speaking with decline among this morning at six o'clock she was yeah, she said, I was on the east coast way talk for thirty minutes and she was making choices that weren't making her feel good. And I said, you have a choice on how you feel your feelings come from your thoughts, if you aren't feeling good, change your thoughts now it is easier than it mean it's harder than it sounds, but it is entirely up to you it's up to each of us to do that. So what do you do with your health? Are you taking care of yourself for many years I didn't I used to carry a lot of extra pounds I used to be way more sluggish now I'm in a class five days a week ah yoga bar and pallotti's I absolutely love it I'm beyond loyal to it it makes a huge difference in my life I have people who think I've dropped thirty pounds and I don't think I've dropped announce but it's completely reshaped may it makes a big big difference and I feel fantastic have a lot of energy. So what are you doing for your health? And if the answer is nothing it's time to change the answer spirituality and faith this khun b a very sticky button for a lot of people I am spiritually nonreligious. When I moved into the south, I was shocked to find that people regularly invited me to church. They wanted to know my religious persuasion I think that's the only part of the country that happens in and I don't think it happens in any other part and it could be a hot button for people, but the reality is you've gotta have faith if in no one else but yourself I like to think that there is a greater energy or power than me that I'm not all there is, but I'm still responsible for everything that I do. I'm not passing the buck on that, so spirituality is important travel. You may not want to travel at all. I happen to be a travel nut I love to travel. I've been to some amazingly cool places because I wasn't willing to wait, so I've had a chance to go to france, italy, denmark, spain, portugal, australia and new zealand where bungee jumped um tandem hang glided. What else did I do over there? I travel in a very unusual manner. I only planned the hotel and the transportation, I leave everything else up to chance when I get there and I let the concerts do it. I don't read any guidebooks, I don't do any of that I'm very unusual, very open ended about it because I want the best of what that location and those people have to offer and the best way to find that is often through the locals, so that to me is just the fun way of doing it. But travel rocks I love travel, so what about a hobby or a past time? What are your hobbies and pastimes? Are they on your boards but a part of your vision? I know for me I love to garden I love to dig in the dirt there's nothing more fun I just don't do big holes if it's big holes I hear somebody but I love doing smaller holes. I love picking out plants I love rescuing plants I obviously love interior design I love to decorate my home I love to decorate other people's homes I love tio entertain friends I will only cook if there's twenty people or more. I don't cook for less than two hundred thirty. Well, there is for may because I start with one big pot and keep adding until it's full and by then I got enough for twenty so online tweet, tweet us share one of your favorite hotties all right, image and style there's no getting around it, it's a big part of who we are every interaction you have. People are evaluating who you are based on how you look that's a nice way of saying they're judging you some people watching is it's actually people judging? So when you say you love to people watching you say you love two people, judge, we all love to play the game it's especially fine, like, you know I live in atlanta, I'm here in san francisco and I have been wide eyed a few times since I've been here because you know, the street people alone are very different in the street people we have in atlanta different climates on things like that account for that but it's really been it when I was in portland earlier this summer? I don't think I've ever seen that many tattoos on everyone and in seattle it's the different colors of hair just rainbow colored hair on somebody's got green somebody's got pink somebody's got, you know, screaming purple fascinating to me I don't see this in atlanta we're I think we're much more conservative down there and I'm not from there originally, but I do find it entertaining so if you have a favorite fashion designer favorite fashion house that you love pop that on your board maybe it's somebody that you dream of buying their close one day and you can't currently afford them or you're buying they're knockoffs or or they're less expensive line a t j maxx but you'd really like to own an original of somebody someday who would that somebody be? Is it a betsey johnson? Um is it an armani? You know pick your favorite one and let us know who that person is on the house side? Do you want to live in a house, an apartment, a condo, a teepee, an rv? I have friends who love their rv I admire that I have absolutely no desire to do that I couldn't imagine having my house on wheels and sleeping and driving and eating all in the same place that just I find that kind of disconcerting. So what do you want? A home environment for me, it's multiples small, less than two thousand square feet, but more than one because I get bored very quickly with my environment, so I have a place in the mountains. I have a place in town and then next time looking at maybe I don't know something towards the desert like the desert a whole lot. Do you want maybe ten thousand square feet? One huge monster house that's totally up to you if that's what you want that's totally cool, no one can say you can't have it, I've done designed for clients like that. I've never wanted huge square footage. I prefer smaller, more intimate spaces, but that's me, she's got to be about you, your work environment incredibly important even and especially when you're working out of your home, I work out of my home and I treat that home office as if it's the most important place in my home bar, none really, really makes a difference because I haven't laid out exactly the way I want it my desk is in the power position according to function way I have my vision board in full view I got bookcases behind me. And I've got a beautiful window in there so that if I need to shoot videos, all I have to do is turn around my monitor in order to do it. That makes it really easy.