Solid Conversation Openers
So what do you say when you're networking to capture potential clients? This is the hard part. How do you open a conversation? How do you walk up to a total stranger whose justice terrified as you are, by the way, ninety nine percent of the time, ok, you want to lead prospects easily into a follow up conversation? This is not about selling them anything. All you're doing is opening the door to a relationship, so the idea is that you're creating enough of a conversation starter that you can then say, hey, would you like to catch up over a cup of coffee next week or let's do lunch next week, but she want to schedule it? Don't just make it idle chatter you want to schedule it, you're carrying your phone with you got your calendar on hand. If you don't have a smartphone, it might be a reason to invest in one. Um, I know I love to say, let me go back and check my calendar, but that's lane, because I have it right there with me, and that gives them a chance to wiggle out if they wanted one, ...
so they have to speak up or forever hold their peace on this one, so general conversation, easy topics, food, weather, local news, keep clear of politics and religion unless you're diving down the path of working on a campaign that's fine sports popular tv now I'm usually stuck on popular, too, because truly, the only show I watch is big bang theory, as we discovered yesterday when I said business, I do also watch pbs downtown abbey I mean, big addict of that and last tango in halifax and all those wonderful shows. So I'm lost on american idol and dancing with the stars and cooking shows I love cooking. Okay, there you go. So you do your clients do your idol clients, they do a lot of cooking. Are they watching cooking shows too? Possibly ok, because if they are is going to be lost on you might want to branch out into a couple of other shows, but here's the reality. I wanted to make this super super easy. So I'm giving you some things to try here, and then we're going to get up here and do a little bit of an exercise. I know this looks basic. Have you tried the stash him? Assure service, but it works. Foods easy to talk about, isn't it what's in the ravioli? You maybe have a vested interest in knowing I mean, I have some food allergies, most of us do these days and, you know, there one a version I have. It's, not analogy is caviar. I just don't like heavier. I find it very unfortunate. Theo. Yeah. I'm right. In the last time I actually tasted caviar, I I was quite young. I was in my teens and I went and bit into a bar of soap. It was that awful experience. I watched my own mouth. That was so bad for the caviar. A little unusual, but, you know, what's your favorite dessert on the tray. And then you can start talking about desserts and see if you love talking about food. Then you can talk about favorite restaurants, and then you can talk about. When did they last get to the restaurant? Then you start going into the conversations that are a little bit more about their business. But this is an easy, easy place to start. It really is. The weather is kind of a no brainer. One, you know, had you heard about the big storm heading our way? Yes, it is small talk. I don't love small talk either. I think it's a waste of time. But it's an easy gate opener for me with the family history is my focus I often asked, well, what's the origin of your surname. Is it to get, you know, that's, a great one, what I wanted to do, as I ask people if they have an accent, I was say, but I really I go where you really from, you know? But I see a really nice way. So where you from, right there's? A very big difference there, because if it's a hostel where you from there like you, but if it's a very warm where you from, I love your accent, then they'll start to open up and tell me, and then all of us, how long have you been in the states and are your, you know, is your family here, too? And what brought you here? And, wow, you can open the door to all surgical conversations, the more you focus on them unless you focus on yourself, and the more comfortable you'll be, because the reality is that when you're focused on you, you start kind of withdrawing and getting uncomfortable. When you focus on somebody else, you make it about that make them a star, it's so much easier, and they love being in the spotlight. Yeah, well, because you're talking about small talk, which is something I had to learn how to do when I was in my thirties, but about of five years ago, I was at a meeting and I learned just about asking some other kinds of questions. I never asked people about their business first off you ever ever that's the camera that's the key? But if you start with you know, where did you come from or what brought you here? People will tell you stuff that they would never tell you if you ask them about their business and you will learn if they're a good match, you learn a lot faster that way I basically steer clear of business talk until, like my fifth or six question if I'm going down that road, road it all a lot of times people have it written on their name tags for crying out loud, you already know, you know, pay attention their name tag. Realtors always have their own name tags. You could tell them from a mile away and I used to have a really cool names like I couldn't find it recently that was backlit and you could see it from across the room and it had my twitter handle on it a love that I was really, really cool and that was a really easy icebreaker because people would always ask me about my name tag, so if you gonna wear something different, interesting or remarkable rachelle, this should be a no brainer for you truly when I was interviewing for jobs, when I was in college, it was still winter and I was wearing a lot of sweaters with skirts and I had, ah, gold chain that I would wear with australia around my neck, and it had a little I don't know ruby or something in it about where my my parents ranch had been, and I would get a lot of comics because people that look like texas, I guess if you kind of I wish I just really don't know, I mean, I know it's, not texas it's, australia, I think they want the story, so I stood out among the a sea of applicants who showed up just in a in a black suit with nothing remarkable in their physical appearance it's way easier to remember something visual for most people, most people, then to remember something in a written format or some other way. So whether is easy, have you heard about the big storm heading our way? Try to keep these open ended its not likely somebody's just going to say yeah or no, they're going to go, yeah, and I batten down the hatches or no, I haven't what what's the scoop I've got, you know, plans the next couple days outdoors, and I don't want to have him rack sort of thing well, I can't believe how hot it's cotton is this normal weather for this time of year might be somebody who moved to the area recently, you know? And you can reverse any of these. I'm normally like I said, to create this lava conversation isn't necessarily easy, but it's simple, it's simple and if you just carry these in your back pocket it's going to make starting a conversation with a total stranger a lot easier and it gives you some easy common ground because you're not diving into deep the other thing is easy is news oh my gosh, did you read about I mean, the ravens was all over the place now it's a little bit of a hot button with people you have to be a little careful, but it is just such an obvious one it's kind of like lindsay lohan and her escapades it's just really again talking about sports in that regard, you know, did you see you make the basket last night? Did you see that shot he took? Uh, it works on lee if somebody else's will have watched the same sports is you have otherwise it's not gonna work at all, but if we've got something going on like wimbledon or, you know world soccer, that makes it much easier olympics chances are good somebody seen snippets if they're in the know, if they're cognizant, if there and up to date kind of person and you want to be that person, so at least look at the hair headlines before you attend an event. I don't know your source of news. I don't watch tv news, I don't usually read alive the newspapers, I do get the headlines and I do get radio news, so those are my sources I want to make sure that I've not missed anything huge and locally important to have a local source, not just a national and global, because you can really look silly if something big happened locally and you didn't know about it and somebody asked you, so get in the know you don't have to change all your habits, but you just seem to find a good source of local news, preferably unbiased. Hee haw haw not true gets even possible these days popular tv american idol a ton of people watch idol people that you'd never imagine watch idol if you're mark, it happens to be male dominated don't I think that they are watching idol? Because guess who is their wives and their kids? All right, so important that you think in terms of gay, this person's at home tonight, who are they with? That they might be watching these shows they might not have watched him otherwise but they're watching him for that reason and dancing with the stars the reason men are watching is because you've got sports figures and you got hot you know male stars who have followings among men watching these shows that does make a difference so what's your favorite conversation starter how would you best like to start a conversation? Have you tried the ravioli awesome way get any feedback from the online ear's now we have a question here from day of the and they say, well, what happens when you talk to someone you make this conversation, you get it started and then you realize you are in a match uh that's actually not that hard you look slightly over one shoulder there their shoulder purse in front of not by teo on you say you know what I've got you know you better make sure you have like a drink in hand and I've got to refresh my drink or I've got a head to the men's room ladies room, the loo whatever you want to call it or oh I just saw a colleague walk in and head over that direction the worst thing you can do is continue standing there and start scanning the room incredibly rude do not do it make an excuse and leave because chances are good the person in front of you may have already figured out you're not a fit either and they just don't know how to get out of it any easier than you do so yeah really makes a difference if you will simply step into that space take control of the situation and be bold enough to say I've got to go talk with my colleague over there let me refresh my wine or some other you know let me go get a glass of water I'm feeling parched you can come up with something have your outs in your back pocket before you really need him because if you don't you're going to get stranded and you're going to wind up stuck there and looking around and feeling uncomfortable and you don't want to have that happen if you don't want to eat anything go on put something on a plate and boy with it if you need tio gracious and leaving oh yeah yeah you're always gracious and leading and the other thing the easiest thing you can do is if you know anybody else in the event that you can introduce that person to even if they're not a fit to say I love tio can be but it's especially fighting the other person somebody don't really care for uh you know you know my cigarettes oh my gosh ok so what I want to do is I want to bring you up in pairs and you guys get to pick you know who you want to pair with or two of you can come up from opposite sides the room I don't really care but I wanna have you pretend you've never met before and I want you to try a conversation starter and you can pretend we have reveal here if it's easier ok, so who two am I willing to come up here and try this? Teo teo the interview it's time for a chance to watch first and then he's gonna come up is still I think a couple of damn lahore's kasuri you're no longer officially an introvert I got a news flash for you you're coming away out of yourself you really are well done well done. All right you took a talking at once that cities so this is as that's. Ok, eventually you have to graduate from food into finding out what you each do for everything. Ok, so the idea is that you both come to this event so easy a really easy one is what brought you to this event? What did you come here? You both come to this event? Um you've been you're all of ten minutes you don't know a lot of people you're allowed to have a colleague rescue tio that's our phone calls you actually that's that's not half bad if you really get stuck I'm not an advocate of pulling out your phone but you could potentially have it on mute and felt the vibration so long as they can't see that you don't really have a call because that would movie be tacky and bad news they can't see it maybe you have one of those screens over your phone that makes it a privacy screen so people can't really see what's going on in your phone I'm so sorry I have to take this girl you can step away to the side wall to get out of a conversation that's going nowhere fast ok, brilliant idea thank you so much for that I haven't tried that yet I haven't done that one but I do I say that if someone is talking that I don't want to continue talking with on the phone, I'll say, oh, I've got another call from yeah all right, so you've only been here ten minutes and you can have a colleague rescue if you need it and the goal is to either a find out you are a fit and want to carry it forward into a coffee or lunch or b you're not and to break apart the conversation okay, okay, hi ira shell I was so attracted to you from across the room your colors that you worry are so beautiful on you thank you and I was looking at your outfit and I'm just going oh if only I was thin enough to where that it is just so fun thank so uh how how did you hear about this event you know it was a kid being a really odd way I'm not generally one to come to things like this but it seems so interesting and I always have such an interesting time when I go places that I don't know anyone do you find I do tio I'm boy when I was little I was so shy that I would hide if people came to the house I didn't know and now I'm always very curious so I find out about them instead of focusing on me I think that's the trick for myself as well I was in a business where I had to just step out of myself many years yeah and it just becomes like acting it isthe you learn so many interesting things about people and dio I know now tell me a little bit about how long have you lived in you live in san process I do okay and you I did live in san francisco it's been about thirty some years since I've lived here and it's very different now so what part of the speedy livin I live in cool valley which is are you familiar with that marriott it's a lovely little hamlet right between coal ash right between hate ashbury panhandle and ashbury heights ok then I do know where that isthe it's it's so lovely it's such a great neighborhood and you well I live in cinema now I totally love it there's so many great wineries and great restaurants and fabulous things and I noticed that you know you were hovering over by the food table so you have an interest in food I was a chef for twenty five years gosh wow are you doing something like that now I'm getting ready to launch a and preserves business and what's your interest in food well I'm a big foodie and at one time I thought I wanted to be a caterer and then I see came to my senses and so I didn't but I'm really interested in the marketing and packaging of food ah ha it is really fascinating isn't it time we researched and then it's interesting to see how people choose things young heavy noticed that unlabeled ing lately it's become more and more and more simplified I think so well the labels I'm attracted to are ones I could number one read and number two like you said when I came over to me because you liked my color since michael ooh that's pretty and then I see is that something that you might be interested in tasting or not so what kind of research are you doing on your business? I've been researching a lot about how people make choices because you know you go toe websites or you go to market? Yeah and there are five thousand choices on my god yes do you get the experience of being overwhelmed I dio and well do you know how many new products are introduced every year it's it's in the hundreds of thousands and so shell space is really important are you planning to sell in retail or you're thinking about just doing online or a combination I don't actually want to be in retail I am doing micro batch on I want to do I want to stay very small I wanted to be very exclusive and thought after yeah it's I'm using gamification principles I don't know to me more about that given fication to put very simply is an internally noted baited seeking after a product or a reward okay time out a second ladies okay what I what I want to share first office this is rare in phenomenal okay um both of them equally interested in each other what you may not know that I know is I know the back stories about them so I can see where judy's questions are going with rachelle whether rachelle is aware of it or not because judy does branding so I need to do the path of questions she was asking was to find out is we're shell in the market for ah branding expert and then judy would be able to share potentially that she does and they might be able to have the coffee based on that one of the beautiful things about this interaction was when they both said that they kind of act bigger than they really feel in networking settings so they can get to meet new and interesting people and if you frame it like that you'll find people just as fascinating as were shell and judy at your events and if they're not you're going to know in a nanosecond and you will be able to pull that phone out you'd also have a text on the phone which might be easier than hoping it'll ring um yeah yeah that's another one and you might not want to get the text at the time yeah missed an opportunity to ask for each other's cars it was a one point there was would've been perfect say oh my god way should stay in touch or something and they didn't do that I was running okay we're ready to do but I don't want them to swapping cards right I really don't that's where networking goes most of the time and you walk away and you never go any further that I really want them getting to that place where they're like you know what? We just don't have enough time tonight we really both need to go and expand our circles let's make a plan to get together over coffee next thursday at ten it needs to have developed to that place and hadn't done there yet right you're far better off. Going to an event and meeting three people in two hours, then twenty three people in two hours that you never follow up within the three. You actually have your next step nail down with and it's a lot more comfortable because it's burning insurance oceans were in tree me and I wanted to follow what? Because I knew that she could help you know what? I I s o I was intrigued and wanted to follow up with her and say to her, you have things that I need, and I would like to speak further with you about this. Can we meet after this is over? So that's where my mind was going, but we weren't at that point yet, right? Yeah, and I didn't want to push you. Could you don't want to rush it? I understand a handsome classes where they say that basically the goal is to get business cars and is it ok if I send you something by email and you just want increase your meal in what she exactly? Ok, all right, I think there's another piece of this that I want to share which is really important. When you get someone's business cards, you do not. And this is my biggest pet peeve so I will go on a mild rant right now you do not have permission to put them on your mailing list unless you have said that to them out loud and they have written the word yes across their card I get put on mailing us all the time because of this and it drives me bunkers I will actually not only get off your list but depending on my mood and I hate to say this out loud and this is televised oh my gosh you technically and legally can be tagged a spam so don't do it police don't go to events and just pick up business cards and start putting people on your list willy nilly it's not appropriate nor is it professional conduct and I don't care if it's you think it's a numbers game it's not it's not about how many it's about how hot they are and when you spend your time creating connections like this this has the opportunity to turn into some significant business instead of you turning and handing your card and going the next person three minutes later heading your card next person three months later handing her card police don't do that you're doing yourself a huge disservice and you're a lot more uncomfortable for you so yeah you'll go in and you get different networking trainings I can safely tell you from way too many years of experience that the idea of collecting business cards is insanity truly, truly is we all have those drawers or those boxes of cards that nothing has ever been done with them with done zero follow up those people wouldn't remember us it's rather like when I first climbed on lincoln back ten years ago, lincoln said, oh, let's, give us your address book and we'll invite all your friends oh, huge mistake, you know what happened? I got bounced out of lincoln at least five times in the first three months because I only knew thirty percent of my address book well enough that I could recall the person and have a conversation with him then it was thirty percent that I I sort of remember their name, it was thirty percent I have no freaking clue was like, who are the forty percent actually that point if I do the math correctly, which is a little hard in my head, um and they all said, I don't know where either now back ten years ago, super easy with lincoln, you just made an abject apology said, oh, support, I'm so sorry I'll never do it again, you know, but you back up again, but it taught me a valuable lesson very early on, so is able to train clients and my audience is after that don't ever do that don't ever give him your whole address book because that's not who you want to connect with you want to connect with the few the wonderful the people you really know because they're the ones you can refer and recommend you not just jane smith down the street who you met once five years ago she doesn't even remember you okay that's why you need a current photograph on all social profiles but we're going to the social segment eventually anyway thank you both so much that was also e I love to have another many with two more with two more chat room really enjoyed that was saying that you guys seem like naturals you should work together we also had some love for valley people love coal valley yeah points of connection there is a connection right there and lainie says they're doing well because both of them keep turning the focus to the other person both interested in learning more than just talking yes, yes absolutely right thank you very much for pointing that out. That is a terrific observation and that's really what it comes down to you've got to be other focused don't be focused on yourself the other focused during this all right? So you guys when you a similar scenario? Okay? You've never been to this particular event before it's new for both of you and you're a little hesitant about networking you've done it old school for a long time you gotta go new school tonight nineteen probably ninety do so look out it's never age it's wisdom right? Okay. And you have the out of a colleague if you need it okay after ten seconds thie idea is that you either want to move it to a coffee or lunch on this and it can take as long as or preferably not quite as long as and see what you can do tio to suss out what you needs you've never met before. How you gonna open it up? Hi, catherine I'm lisa hi, ana and I noticed your last name is for lava level. Yeah, well moore said surname come from I'm just curious I've never heard that name before so it's a check check us walking last name and actually got change when my family was ellis island yeah, I used to have a weird whom love thing happening so americanized yeah. So how did it get changed? I mean, it's also was longer before now it was the same length but it has some extra tricks symbols that we don't have an english so how'd you hear about this event it in so I saw it in a meet up on my yeah yeah, I mean it's cool, yeah, I really enjoy this was the first time in this particular meet up, so I I don't really know anybody what do you live here and the and the city live somewhere else oh yeah I live in the city and wonderful wonderful yeah oh it's okay it's okay, great. Um I live in the space but I love working in the city the city is so cool that the energy just so great I just love the vibe I love coming across no no the day everything every day so yeah I do just got getting back into meet up I kind of got banned from meet up a couple of years ago I would have thought that's a bit experience but suffice it to say I've changed my ways and I have agreed to abide by their terms and so a bank and meet up again so this looks like in its interesting route um so oh yeah I ask and I say where where do you live in the east? Because I'm from a clinton aeration I live in oakland oh yeah yeah you know, we're trussell glenn is uh oh yeah and I'm down in trust of glenn that's nice. Yeah, nice quiet neighborhood. Yes, I've been out here about twenty years richard from michigan ok time out a second guy you're you know you're running out of stuff to talk about pretty clearly here talking about you know, you do fine but here's the thing when she mentions made up the easiest route to take on that don't go down the path of a bad story you're loaded up on a dining about that one but this is the easy thing does what's your favorite meat up? Oh yeah do you have a favorite meet up? I've only used them once or twice more what are you hoping to gain by being at this event? Is there a particular resource you're looking for? You can cut through to the business side on that one and then they go well, you know, I hadn't really thought of a resource I'm looking for, but you know, I'm in such in such a business, so if it starts if you start struggling like that, okay, go down to the business path but do it in terms of, you know, a resource or looking for or what's the greatest triumph that's half in your business in the last, you know, thirty days they were shell are tough act to follow way we've got some more congress arson starters coming somebody by sit down thank you go through some more of this I mean, I may make you come back up and do it again with some new ones, but I think some of these other ones might be easier for you let me know and we'll say, ok, so comments from the gallery very well done, ladies from carol j they said go lisa mentioned your work that's the way to do it on bail so he's an easy gate opener for units, a really cool gate opener because I think just about everybody is really open to you do it with a big smile and you do it with a very interested person and that makes a big difference you handle that really well, I love the fact that the characters after your last name is that true? I don't know if you're making up or not I just went with that the's air some easy ones, the vacation destination, a movie they've seen or favorite restaurant and what I like to do on these and don't worry you're going to get more slides to follow this that you can easily write this down. I haven't been in education of forever what's your favorite destination that dislikes people up, it lights people up, it talks about something happy that they've done so really and you can totally come up to any stranger there and say, you know what? I'm kind of taken a mini survey here I hope you don't mind I have not been on a vacation in four darn ever and I really would love to know what's your favorite destination and what do you recommend? You know? And then people go okay, well, you're not talking about this is that sounds pretty cool. I'd be happy to talk about my favorite destination and why I love it so much. Or you could say, I have the family house down and, you know, florida and we hang out there for family reunions once here, any number of different responses and you can always run with the response. Hey, movies another easy one. Um, don't you like the dogs hit the dog. I love the dog. I think the dog. Hilarious. Great. I'm in new movie in months. Have you seen anything you'd recommend lately? Hey, ok. That's an easy one. Now, if you don't ever go to movies, don't pull this out of your back pocket. Because if it goes down a conversation of movies, you might look a little silly. Okay, so don't put yourself in an awkward position. Um, restaurants is a super easy one. Especially for the food he's in the group here. Really loving the doctor, you know, got company coming into town soon and looking for some new restaurants to try. Do you have any favorites? See how easy that isthe? I tried my spanish on somebody. Yeah, I was so proud that I knew spanish years ago and I said, you know something you know, whatever and their answer was but it was so fast I couldn't understand where they were saying just made me look and feel really, really because then I couldn't really respond. So yeah, you want to be really careful about things like that? I learned that one in france because I have a really good accent and I could order activate their face would become pressed very quickly when they realized I had been masquerading s oh yeah, you do want to be very careful about those things because it also makes them uncomfortable, you know, then they go out well, she doesn't really speak spanish, so so how will you make somebody smile? What's your favorite one of those three is it movies? Is it restaurants? You know and you can go the strictly business route? I'm not a huge fan of it, but you can't and the easiest way to do that is again to pointed it their business don't make it about you it's not well I do this who are you with instead go for triumphs, challenges resource is needed and their ideal client has a great lead for them if they don't know the language great lead I kind of question how long they've been in basis, but most people do and triumphs you know I'd love to hear about a big win you've had in the last six months people want to brag on themselves and they don't know how to do that you've just given him permission. Holy cow that's pretty cool okay? And they might say, well, it wasn't six months ago was nine months ago, doesn't matter does matter they're so bragging on themselves that give them that opportunity. You know, if you were given the opportunity brag on your shelf you because oh yeah, six months ago the last three days this happened bragg on yourself. Okay what's gone right in your business in the last three months you can all sit there and bitch and moan, but I don't recommend it keep it light, keep it upbeat and leave somebody thinking wow, it was a fun discussion I never get to discuss the things they're going right. I'm so mired in the crisis in the muck of the day today and you're the one who made him smile they're going to remember that challenges you can ask about challenges what's the greatest obstacle you've overcome you've overcome and you could say what's the stickiest challenge you're working on the tricky part about this is if you don't know them well, that could seem really offensive, so be a little careful with this one but there are those people that love to brag about all the challenges and crises there facing if you think you've got one of those for a conversation used that line resource is what resource is tool or provider? Are you looking for? Right now? We're always looking for somebody or something. We've got something going on in our business that we need a resource to fix it, whether that resource is a provider or it's a tool ask, ask, ask, ask, well, if I say I'm I'm not real happy with my website and no, not a dig my web master and cases I love her dearly, it just doesn't have the field that I wanted to have, so if I'm mansion to someone, you know, I'm really I'm looking for a great web master, and they offer their services that that kind of gets awkward in my mind. I'm afraid to go there. Well, hang on first, you're not looking for web master, you're looking for web designer, okay, my mind collection, what you're looking for, a big difference, and you can always say, um, I'm looking for referrals to a quality web designer, and if they say I am one, say great, I love to check out you're testimonials and your portfolio gets you off the hook, okay? Okay, you're never going to hire somebody on the spot that is insane and if they start dogging you say you know what? This decision is actually six months away I'm just collecting data right now, okay? Okay, but you don't want to ever shut him down. You want to say, oh, what a treat to have met you. I love to check your portfolio that's in you c one because they should have a portfolio if they don't. The funniest thing happened me recently I got this email from this guy and I get these all the time soliciting may for web design um and this one was most unique because it came in with a pdf attached to it no link to a website, but a pdf with this guy's resume actually took the time to write. Write him back and I said that's the most unique approach I've ever seen but you might want to consider including a link to a portfolio she since you're presenting yourself is a website designer, I really don't care about your resume. I care about your portfolio let's try to be helpful. I don't know if he took it in the right way or not, but that's really true you're not going to hire somebody to do a visual job for you if you can't see their work, it would be like catering if you were looking for a caterer and they said, oh, I'm a caterer you'd say I'd love to take a look at your testimonials and some of the events you've done do you have an online portfolio? And if they say, well, no, I don't say, well, if this job is more than just may it's a committee I'm working trip get really creative calling a committee when you need them e I do that a lot with my clients actually give my client's permission to say that they have a business coach who's making them do all these things when they're uncomfortable doing things I'll say you could have a border direct, they make up a border directors when you need to if you are getting pushed by somebody hard and it's not appropriate and you don't have the comfortable nous to just stand in that boundary space and say no, thank you say you got a board of directors, you've got to run it past and then say the board said no or say you have a business manager that's the other role I played a lot with my clients I'll say tell me of a business manager who no longer lets you do such a such and the loco okay let's easier than having to stand up for myself like I'll be your backbone that makes a difference, it definitely does so do you have a favorite business angle? Any favorite business angles coming in online? Lots of people are sharing their their examples, their experiences, networking one comment that I want to read from teo if you're talking to someone who's not diving into the questions you're asking, you can begin to look like a journalist or news correspondent and that's just awkward. It is awkward, and if they're not diving in, that is probably indication. They don't really want to talk to you. Abort the conversation as quickly as possible because the reality is that I don't know. Do you guys even know what each other does? I mean, you know, you're fine artists who works with that. Yeah. What do you think she does? Uh, people who aren't technology savvy, how to use ancestor that you were so close. Okay, that's, obey that in the same saying that's what? Your website indicates that is what's. Your website is an issue. Guys read it wrong. I didn't see that. You know, I see the web site that's where the gap is. Can we were talking about that's where the gas was coming in. Yeah. Okay. But see that's not the transformation, not at all. What's the transformation well the trend to one part is that the technology so that they're no longer afraid of technology and they can embrace it and empower themselves and the other part is to make the connection with their ancestors find a dead people and find their stories and tell her story we missed yesterday because I went to new I three dead famous relatives it was very entertaining so transformational part of it is finding where they fit in society because in my case you're a little bit of my history when my father left the all the attention went to my four brothers because the boys didn't have a father so I became visible so I didn't fit in anywhere so genealogy for me was a way for me to find some place where I could fit okay so what you just said is an incredibly important pace of what your transformative value is I show you where you fit in your family and in your life but if I'm right that no go ahead I'm not sure I can remember it twice okay I show you where you're fit in your family and your life this is why most people don't want to have an un recorded conversation with me because I dropped these things out and I can't ever do him twice well we're hearing about this is it's taking it toehold yeah h and l a whole another level yeah um where is I'm looking at it from just a technology standpoint and now it's becoming much more ethereal on dh spiritually almost and you know, here in the ancestor speak and all that this is so cool I'm loving this this is great thinking your checks in the mail okay? You're welcome you're welcome. All right? We're getting anything from the gallery on this well, we have lots of people that are just timing in and really enjoying everything that we're getting these examples from we had one person stacy, who has her angle says my angles pretty simple I tell the story of how I realized after my father passed that I only had three photos of just the two of us together and I'm here to keep that from happening to anyone else. Oh, you know what? I just got show bumps because I have like none of me and my mother, yeah, because my mother was always taking the pictures and it's interesting that with my grand para was my father's side when they both passed within six months of each other, I didn't have any pictures of them at all none and I got hold of my aunt and she said, I'm so sorry all of the pictures of the two of them are already with my children the only thing I can do is get you copies of ones of them singularly and I was like, wow, you just don't even think about that. So that is huge, huge, huge, huge. She still has an ideal target market, and I want to know who it is. I really wanted to who it isthe. So is their name, stacey stacey are all right, stacey are. I want to know who your ideal target market is, who is your ideal client, because it's, not everyone. I want to hear that in the chat room, if you're willing to share, because I think what you said is incredibly valuable and important, and I relate a little too well to that one, so thank you.