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Don't Get Pushed Around: An Introvert's Guide to Getting What You Need at Work

Lesson 3 of 26

Defining Confidence


Don't Get Pushed Around: An Introvert's Guide to Getting What You Need at Work

Lesson 3 of 26

Defining Confidence


Lesson Info

Defining Confidence

Let's go to the whiteboard because I wanna talk about confidence now. What exactly is confidence? Can I have one of my introverts share a possible definition of what confidence is for you? If you would, introduce yourself. Tiffany Butler. Who you are, where you're from and what you do. I'm from McMinnville, Oregon and I work with creative agencies and in-house marketers, providing branding and content creation, so they can get more done and be more successful. Beautiful elevator pitch, thank you. So what is confidence to you Tiffany? Confidence to me is feeling that you're worthy. Mmhmm so feeling worthy. Alright, my bad handwriting, but you can see what that says. Excellent, thank you. And actually what does it take to feel worthy? Believing in yourself. And is that something I could say, alright, Tiffany, just believe in yourself. No. No, why not? I think it has to come from within, so it has to either be you've had enough experience to believe in yourself or yo...

u don't know any better and you believe in yourself anyway. Right, so young people tend to be very confident and maybe it's based on nothing real, but that's okay. Real experience, and then older people know that confidence comes with time and experience and maturity and that it is, actually based on something real. And what happens to those people in-between they're kind of busy not feeling particularly confident. Alright good. Who else? Mike? Say who you are, what you do, and then tell us what confidence is to you. Hi, Mike Swagler. I write copy for in-house creatives and marketing managers, vice presidents of sales and marketing, things like that. To help them improve their sales or improve their image. Beautiful, and what is confidence to you Mike? Just knowing what to do and when to do it. Knowing what to do and when. And how do you learn that? Practice. Practice, thank you. Practicing on your own and just developing the skills that you need to have. Perfect, excellent, who else? Anyone else? James. You can pass that one there. James, how are you doing? I'm from Federal Way, Washington. I work with general contractors to manage their steel fabrication portion of their projects to give them the best product in a timely fashion. Excellent. I believe confidence is having something you know you can get done. It's something that you have inside you and can't really do anything without it. People can do stuff without it, but it's a little bit difficult if you don't have it. So it's a thing that's inside of you that allows you to get things done. Yes. Mmhm, okay, something inside. So one common denominator here is that everyone has said, so far, it doesn't come from the outside, right, it comes from the inside. And I think that's important because a lot of times people say I can't do X because I don't have the confidence. Or they put things off, because they don't feel confident. As if the confidence is going to come at them, like land in their lap at some point and that definitely doesn't work. Sometimes I think confidence depends on your mood, right, or who happens to be in the room. Like I could be more confident right now, if Kenna is in the room or if Kenna is not in the room. Confidence is having the belief in yourself that you are smart and you will figure it out because you're resourceful, not that you know the answer. So that's really helpful. Laurie. Say who you are, what you do, and then what confidence is. I'm Laurie Higgadoran and I work with real estate agents to teach them how to write better copy and use tools that help them sell their properties faster. Excellent. And the first word that came to my mind was when you even brought up the word confidence, was it's bravery. It's lack of fear and so, sometimes I feel brave and I feel like I can use my voice and other times I feel like oh, I need to stand back and wait until it's safe. Mmhmm and sometimes that feeling is based on external and sometimes it's based on internal and the thing to know, I think, about feelings is that they're ephemeral and they come and go so if you just wait long enough, it'll be gone and then maybe that bravery will come back. But I think that's a really good point about bravery and actually I'm gonna show a video shortly from Debby Millman about courage. So let's, we'll get right to that. Now, Yvonna, did you wanna add something about confidence? Yeah, let's have everyone have a chance at this. I'm Yvonna, I'm from Seattle, Washington. I work with a remote creative studio as a ref designer to create designs for non-profit companies. And I think confidence is just taking action in what you want. Mmhmm taking action, I like that. Taking action and I have a slide later on that says the power of action and I will talk about the power of action, because I do think it's the opposite of passivity, right. It's when you do nothing is when we feel the least confident and when we start doing things, even if we can't see the effect of those things that we're doing, the momentum starts to gain and we develop confidence from that. So there are lots of different components and I'm gonna go into the details of some of the ones that you've already surfaced, so thank you. But actually, can we have a round of applause for my introverted audience? (audience applauding) Who gave their elevator pitch, right, and they practiced that, so that was awesome, we're gonna get to that later too. And who spoke up, with confidence, about confidence. I am really impressed, so thank you.

Class Description

When it comes to getting ahead in the world of work, it seems that those who are bold, confident and willing to speak their minds are the ones who get the choicest projects and the loftiest promotions.

But what if you’re an introvert? What if you hate being the center of attention, get nervous before presentations, and avoid contact with your colleagues and superiors? Are you destined to remain on the lowest rungs of the corporate ladder?

According to Ilise Benun, an author and teacher known as the Marketing Mentor, the answer is an emphatic “No!” Ilise has created a treasure trove of tools and techniques to help the shyest and quietest among us succeed in the workplace. She’ll show you how to embrace your introversion while also learning the skills you need to advance your career and become a leader at work.

In this class, you’ll learn how to:

  • Conquer your shyness and present yourself confidently.
  • Assert yourself when you need to, speak up at meetings and get recognized.
  • Take the credit you deserve for your accomplishments.
  • Communicate your strengths and what you’re capable of to the right people.
  • Identify when you’re feeling shy or fearful and how to handle it.
  • Observe other personality types and adjust your behavior accordingly.
  • Develop your confidence with concrete exercises.
  • Find your personal networking style so you can get what you want.
  • Improve your communication, presentation and meeting skills.



It was interesting to learn from your program what experiences other people have in certain situations and how similar or different they are to mine. And that’s it’s ok to “own” your inner introvert, and to work with it instead of against it. The good thing is, the more self-aware we become, the more aware and sensitive we can be towards others, thanks to shared knowledge and programs like yours. So thank you Ilise, for an enlightening program. I look forward to going back over it sometime.

Laurie Hagedorn

Ilise Benun is so easy to listen to! The information and messages she shares with us are valuable, up to date, and easily understood! I can't wait to hear more from her and will refer her to others who will benefit from her lessons!

Tiffany Butler

Perspective is everything. I left feeling more comfortable with the idea that life, as Ilise puts it, "is an experiment," and I don't have to know everything in order to be good at what I do. I can learn, adapt and modify as I go. The fear of being "found out" is what keeps plenty of us needlessly hiding behind the mask of introversion. Another big takeaway—don't assume you know what others are thinking/doing. I break this rule routinely and assume the worst, which is almost never the reality of the situation. I made it my NY resolution to stop doing that! Thanks, Ilise.