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Don't Get Pushed Around: An Introvert's Guide to Getting What You Need at Work

Lesson 6 of 26

Getting to Know Yourself


Don't Get Pushed Around: An Introvert's Guide to Getting What You Need at Work

Lesson 6 of 26

Getting to Know Yourself


Lesson Info

Getting to Know Yourself

Lesson two is getting to know yourself. What do you need at work? My favorite quote here is on the Temple at Delphi, The Temple of Apollo at Delphi, "Know thyself." This isn't about knowing who they say you are. But it's knowing who you really are. That is a very tricky thing, because all our lives people tell us who we are, and they label us. It's hard not to believe it, because they must know, especially when we're really young. Some of these people who tell me that they're shy or introverted, maybe you are. But maybe that's just what they've been telling you all along. What we're looking for here is who is the real you, because that is for you to find out, and that is your choice. But it's probably not based on what someone told you about you, but instead what you've come to learn about yourself, and more importantly who you can become. Because you may look at me and think oh, she's not an introvert. I actually never thought I was an introvert either, but I was very quiet growing up...

, and I was hiding constantly, and I never said anything. Then little by little over the last 30 years I have evolved. I have changed and I have become someone else. I will continue to become someone else. So I really think that's our job in our lives to use this experiment to evolve. Let's talk about what that looks like. Here's what I just told you. I used to be really quiet, and I used to observe people very carefully. How many people are observant? Because introverts tend to watch. I used to hide in a crowd and get really anxious, but I liked crowds because there were a lot of people. So no one would notice me because introverts tend to not want to be the center of attention. As if you could be the center of attention. Again, this dramatic thing that happens in our head. Or I used to freeze when I was asked a question. So under pressure, ask me a question, like even yesterday someone asked, "What book has had the most influence on you?" I couldn't think of it. I just couldn't. We need time. We need to take time and in those moments say, "Let me get back to you." You, I'm talking to my people in the audience, as well as the people out there, as well as you watching on your own, you are quiet, which means that you observe and you have a potential to see clearly. To see more than people who are not observing. You are sensitive. That means you feel things, and you have the potential to feel more deeply, to know what's going on under the surface, because you're also perceptive, and you listen and you have the potential to hear what gets called the subtext. What's going on underneath. Those are all gifts that you could be using to their benefit or for positive. And because of these in your work environment you could be the voice of reason. You could be the voice of here's truth, here's what's really happening, if you use it. But I find most people despite these gifts, don't necessarily use them for positive. You may instead be anxious talking to strangers. Not wanting to get into situations where you're not going to be able to use your perceptive qualities, or your observational qualities. Or as I said, you don't want to be the center of attention as if you actually would be, just because someone is listening to you. Or you get nervous before presentations, or you don't want to present at all. How many people don't want to present at all? How many people wish they were up here instead of me? No? But surprisingly, a lot of introverted people are famous stars, performers, because actually in this environment you can control a lot more than in intimate one-on-one or even small group conversations. So you will find a lot of introverts in this type of what seems like a more extroverted environment, which is kind of interesting.

Class Description

When it comes to getting ahead in the world of work, it seems that those who are bold, confident and willing to speak their minds are the ones who get the choicest projects and the loftiest promotions.

But what if you’re an introvert? What if you hate being the center of attention, get nervous before presentations, and avoid contact with your colleagues and superiors? Are you destined to remain on the lowest rungs of the corporate ladder?

According to Ilise Benun, an author and teacher known as the Marketing Mentor, the answer is an emphatic “No!” Ilise has created a treasure trove of tools and techniques to help the shyest and quietest among us succeed in the workplace. She’ll show you how to embrace your introversion while also learning the skills you need to advance your career and become a leader at work.

In this class, you’ll learn how to:

  • Conquer your shyness and present yourself confidently.
  • Assert yourself when you need to, speak up at meetings and get recognized.
  • Take the credit you deserve for your accomplishments.
  • Communicate your strengths and what you’re capable of to the right people.
  • Identify when you’re feeling shy or fearful and how to handle it.
  • Observe other personality types and adjust your behavior accordingly.
  • Develop your confidence with concrete exercises.
  • Find your personal networking style so you can get what you want.
  • Improve your communication, presentation and meeting skills.



It was interesting to learn from your program what experiences other people have in certain situations and how similar or different they are to mine. And that’s it’s ok to “own” your inner introvert, and to work with it instead of against it. The good thing is, the more self-aware we become, the more aware and sensitive we can be towards others, thanks to shared knowledge and programs like yours. So thank you Ilise, for an enlightening program. I look forward to going back over it sometime.

Laurie Hagedorn

Ilise Benun is so easy to listen to! The information and messages she shares with us are valuable, up to date, and easily understood! I can't wait to hear more from her and will refer her to others who will benefit from her lessons!

Tiffany Butler

Perspective is everything. I left feeling more comfortable with the idea that life, as Ilise puts it, "is an experiment," and I don't have to know everything in order to be good at what I do. I can learn, adapt and modify as I go. The fear of being "found out" is what keeps plenty of us needlessly hiding behind the mask of introversion. Another big takeaway—don't assume you know what others are thinking/doing. I break this rule routinely and assume the worst, which is almost never the reality of the situation. I made it my NY resolution to stop doing that! Thanks, Ilise.