Jedi Mind Tricks
Well, we have been on quite a journey. I can't quite believe we're the last section of the day. It's kind of amazing, isn't it? It's already the last quarter of the day, and this is a a point, I think, where sometimes, you know, we've talked about understanding yourself. We talked about the journey of entrepreneurship, all the steps involved, understanding yourself. We describe your ideal clients and their ecosystems and watering holes, and then sometimes at this point of the process, and often it multiple times throughout the journey, being an entrepreneur, doubts and fears and concerns come up it's a normal natural part of being an entrepreneur, in fact, being a human being on planet earth and it's extremely important thing that we learned how to effectively deal with and manage, not from my perspective, that we learn how to smash and run over and run away from and ignore sometimes there's very specific kind of macho language about how you, you know, look fear in the eye and say stab...
it with a big knife and stop on it really hard and it's, like, really a zay was discussing earlier fear is actually part of our innate a way that we protect ourselves, it helps us from making sure we're not totally folly with our choices it makes sure that we are not going to do something to harm somebody else and make sure that we don't make a fool of ourselves it also khun b an extremely dominating controlling force which keeps us from actually exhibiting our own beauty and power in the world so that part of it is really what we want to start to work with in this particular section so I being a fan of star wars like to think about some of the tools that were going to use his jedi mind tricks right? What are ways that we can as adventurers as heroes on our entrepreneurial journey learn things to fight sometimes the dark side of the force and things that can become very crippling so one of the first places that I want to start is by working some actual fears that we have so I'm going to ask folks who are here with me in the room I'm also going to be asking folks that are on the internet what exactly are you afraid of? I don't mean spiders and chucky movies in this case I mean what particularly are you afraid of when it comes to running your business? Okay what what are the kinds of things that come up that our fears when when you're running your business not gonna have any clients yeah, no clients right that's always a big one with a k yes, I'm afraid of not being able to provide for my children. Okay, well, that's a scary one. What? You guys in the studio? I mean, money and she's she said it would not provide for children, but money that's like my number one fear never go through a day saying, I can't do this you know, I always go through how am I gonna pay for this running out of money or my favorite fear of living in a van down by the river way? Have you ever seen that saturday night live skit? Not fully motivational speaker, thirty five, divorced and living in a van down by the great let everybody go google it right now hysterical. I don't care if you're not paying attention to me. What you want us to think he doesn't deserve you so that's what? That review so yes, yeah, all right, so running out of money is a big one and a valid concern one might think, right? I mean, yeah, so running out of money, having to go back to your job well, what I think is the competition or maybe not really knowing how you stack up to the competition. There's that mystery of, you know, there's always information you feel like you can't get, and and then you're doing the dreaded comparison thing yeah martha back calls it compare and despair and boy, is it true it can happen in one instant? You could be feeling great you have a great some kind of connection with a client or you do a great project and all of a sudden you might hear of somebody else who did something that to you at the moment appears cooler or smarter or something and all of a sudden you go from being on top of the world feeling like nothing it's really a horrible feeling yeah so not stacking up in particular against the competition yeah, we're seeing that as well with the competition as well as from from awesome land dea and this way see ah lot here created by but being found out that I'm actually no good with you the air quotes right exactly. So being found out it's known in psychology languages the imposter syndrome yes that's very well documented, right? I like the air quotes my kids learned air quotes and they'd be like mom, can we have some dinner literally they'd be like mom literally can we have dinner? You guys are kind of missing the point but it was really fun being found out we have more air quotes from monica she says who does she think she is? She doesn't want people to ask that of her because people see her as a c p a and she's, afraid to take change into something else, and people will ask that question totally people will ask, it is an amazing people do ask that who do you think you are? It's a very deep question who do you think you are? So how to answer? Not getting out of the start of a phase so a fear could be staying stuck in start up phase like forever and never getting to the promise. Yeah, yeah, queen's, pop photo it's similar to the imposter syndrome, but that there is some big piece of information which I don't know about, and I'm going to end up looking like a we're laughing with you totally it's, so awful, like, right? There must be some big missing piece or there's somebody super smart that has it or there's the system or there's the blueprint where when I have that, you know, everything is going to be better, right? And just think one is the so now I'm gonna have to spend all of my time reading and searching for things, and then I'm going to exhaust myself or I don't do it or am I even looking in the right places and yeah, yes, so running out of energy, might that be the case? Especially if you're a fact finder, right? We go back to our cognitive stiles where your orientation is always to go back to more research that could be something that you can lose a lot of energy and momentum I think also never get into the promised land and then ultimately failing. Okay, yeah, so maybe right. Dizzy feeling right publicly, you have publicly humiliated, like I had to give it up within your family, right? I think a lot of people here are having issues with the money, one that comes out from envision creative, doing a lot of work and then not being paid for it. We're not getting a fair value for the work that you're doing right now. Also, we hear that a lot in the photography world about fear of either, like you said, not getting paid, but pricing yourself too low so just that they're not even knowing how to price yourself for how to go about getting system set up way also have mark are we also see this, um, fear of success it's so cool that he mentioned that, right? So fear of success, why would you fear succeeding then you have to keep up with right when you gonna get to take a break or fail or anything like that? Yeah, exactly when you do start to get some momentum, then or you be working all the time are you gonna be able to see your family? You know what? What is it like when you begin to get some you know, some time attraction I know I've been the last two weeks have been you know, this amazing two weeks of trying to finish my finishing my book and martial art test and then going toe world domination summit which was great in coming here and it's all such good stuff. One of the thoughts that I've had in my head is goodness gracious, if this were my life all the time it would not it would not be a happy life right? Sometimes they're people you conceive that air, you know, famous artists are entrepreneurs gary vaynerchuk some folks know gary who was kind of famous for talking about crushing it and was always flying all over the country. Sometimes we can have that thought of like, oh my gosh, what if this is always my life? Am I always going to be working even if I really like what it is that I'm doing? Being too stressed out has been mentioned in the chat yeah, so too stressed out because there are a lot of things that you need to take care of and jessica says being too lonely from working from home uh preneurs right sometimes we get a lot of satisfaction and friendship and idea sharing when you're working with others in an environment right in a corporate environment on that note like losing friends because they can't relate with you anymore yeah because now you're a business owner speaking on creatively exactly you're a movie star it is I mean it's a very, very really situation that often folks that have been wonderful and really parts of a great part of your life and your success may not always be wanting to take the journey with you in the next stage and I tell you sometimes that that part personally has felt more painful than romantic breakup when you're when you're in some ways you know really changing their relationship for sometimes losing the friendships rodney we're unisex um surprise overall probably fear change your change yeah one thing that comes up that I a lot I mean I have my own struggle with it so I've blogged about it and I talked to you know to help klein and through this is is like the fear of you know closing some doors and I'm a big fan of that concept though it's hard for me to do it myself but you know it's the fear of saying saying no and snow is really empowering and and we you know we don't know what I want to let people down and and um but that's a really important one because you know sometimes the yes on lee comes after you say no to one person exactly what happens if you say no and you feel all empowered and then nobody else comes calling right? That could be a fear e j u u what are some of yours or your your client's face? Um, I mean, I think one that I kind of recently uncovered is just like the fear of not being liked and so being criticized yeah, so that comes up and I think there's also something around like discovering that I may not be cut out for it or like the business that I'm in the business in the life and I'm envisioning I'm going to go for it and then realize and then fail and then I'll be proof that I really can't do it yeah, right, so what if all this planning and everything I do it doesn't work out? And then what? Then what second meet I didn't mean for fear of being let down by other people like when I contend to take on too much myself because of a few occasions in the past where people I hired to work with didn't follow through on their commitments, right? And then it puts you in a weird position and man, I get it, you guys, they're significant digs there there there's so many more that are coming in, but this one is a little bit different fear that my current corporate job my day job is from colleen will find out that I'm trying to start my own business. Yeah, we've seen that somebody earlier asking question about how do I go about doing that when it might even be competitive to the business that I'm in right now? That's it's a big deal? Uh what? We might talk a little bit about that in the business foundation tomorrow we have to talk about legal issues and and I'm a huge fan of actually really making sure that you know what your employment contract is sometimes there are yes and their employment contracts say anything you work on, you could be a software engineer and you work on a cookbook and the company could actually own that intellectual property if you have a really broadly encompassing employment agreement, but I think within that, you know, we talk about being found out it's kind of, like found out too early uh by corporate and I personally think there's there often ways of working ethically and yet a little bit more quietly when you're working on your ideas. So if you find that maybe you're not able to specifically charge money for things yet there's still a lot of stuff that you could do, you know otherwise, but it can cause a lot of anxiety when you're working on your side hustle right and nate are who's the one who wrote that said it's a conflict of interest yeah, exactly sometimes e j and then rodney yeah, I think connected to like not providing by something that comes up for moms and also just parents is that they're being irresponsible kind of like you're supposed to be a grown up now you have kids to take care of, like that's a fancy kind of dream you're going after and so it's like they're supposedly like an age that you reach where it's like you're supposed to be serious and I were not kind of believe in who that loses yeah woo I totally feel that one right? So right, why don't you do like the responsible thing and why don't you get a real job provides stability here? I'm not being like part of being an adult is sacrificing like you just have to just push through and just you know at least you have a job, you know? Yeah oh yeah at least you have a job. Yeah, which is often said very good people and I have I've told this story a lot recently, but a couple weeks ago when I was still finishing my book I was driving my kids to school and my son was saying, you know, mom, why are you working all the time? Why don't you write your book at the office and I said, son, you know, I'm actually see my client at the office and I'm on the phone with my clients and I do do some writing, but I also have to do with the evenings and weekends I said, you know, some moms are totally stay at home moms where they make a choice to, like, just be a mom and be with our kids, which is an awesome choice other moms choose thi dua business and they want to be awesome moms, but they also want to give something to the world and help other people in my five year old rosie said, I wish you were the other kind of like, but you know, that said even at five years old she she gets it, we talked about it sometimes that that's away right that we can talk about it with each other and one of the things I think this might be a really fun one toe work when we start to look at some of the tools for thought work is that your kids in particular are paying very close attention to how you are in your life and imagine if you make a choice, I mean, sometimes people's parents make this choice that you've seen it with siblings were literally every day of their life they hate what they're doing and yet they do it because they're wanting to be responsible the message there clearly sending their kids is work is hell and never do anything that you care about and sometimes that could be a positive way to shift that thought because you're like wait a minute you know what you want to teach your son is that work is joyful and taking risks is a porton tw and it doesn't have to be perfect right? And not that way of course I totally you know support what you're doing but what those messages sometimes especially on those low days when like the money's not flowing the way that it should be or you feel like you're hitting your head against the wall you can really have those questions and it does become very hard you know to know what responsible is so chris with the case yeah her ten year old convinced her to quit her job and be the real me oh my god iss amazing that is totally outstanding kids are little wizards they're a little like little yoda's rodney and then mike uh the fear like a lot of the ideas I have for businesses are like social entrepreneurship is so one of my fears is that I might pick one that in my idea vision that it's gonna do uh good might actually be doing harm and it might actually not not be a uh what I envision you know, doing that may actually you are yeah that's right and is kind of a roof here of that maybe because you don't know exactly like what it is or you set it up to the best of your ability and may have unintended consequences like that yeah, you know, I've done so much research on certain uh like even, you know, like not teo I have her criticism like tom shoes and he's like that believe they've actually you know, there are people lee you know, cem criticizing it with them that you know, in some cases they're actually not doing you know, it's a great idea, but in some cases they're actually doing a little hard right? I don't know if that's exactly true or not yeah, exactly yeah and I think you know, some of this is right for your own particular idea how can you do it to the best of your ability? Some of it comes back to what we're talking about with naysayers are ideal clients when you talk about any kind of business especially social change there are it's going to be very rare where you have everybody that agrees right? This is the very best model there people who say it's too small there's other people who say you know it doesn't work but one of the things that we can talk about particularly friday morning we start to talk about circles and who you might have around, you know look at different models because this might be a particular fear for you that's where we can start to look at what are some examples of people who have been really steeped in it my friend teddy rouge who is from uganda originally who has a site called project diaspora he is a strong advocate of african development by aft perkins for africans and often has, you know, very strong opinions but really clear guidance as well about ways to be supporting the development efforts for example, for projects that have to do with africa and has really played an important voice. You know, it kind of depends so there could be people like that that khun b aware of those dynamics desert at away my best friend who you might noah's well does a lot of work in the nonprofit sector. So sometimes some of the ways that we can begin to address thes is by surrounding ourselves with people who have been there before who have really researched you know those ideas. But I think for a lot of these what's so powerful and important about this first of all is to know that you are not alone in these fears. I mean, look at how easy this is like the most quick answers coming at us from all day long right is all of a sudden we start to talk about what we're afraid of and these air so common that a lot of people worry about running out of money, not having clients have this whole audition, this this whole idea of being found out who were you to do this business? What if it doesn't work all of these different things? These air very, very riel issues that are extremely important in terms of giving us information that we can use, and I say, thank god that we have these fears so that we can make sure to make plans to be addressing them. There's nothing that that is necessarily wonderful about just diving into business and you say, I don't want to listen to any naysayers, sometimes you can really like my friend skip miller would say, uh, jump into a pool that has no water in it, right? Make sure there's water in the pool before you jump when you're when you're making that kind of a leap. So when we start to talk about addressing these particular fears, we're going to take some of them specifically through a couple of different tools. And jen, I mind tricks. There is a specific kind of metaphor in a frame of mind that I want to be thinking about, and this is actually my b a girl, ms rosie, who mike has met ah, angela, rose who's my daughter. This is where we were together training at m m may I just love the look in her face, right? I mean, even just a little one she's kind of saying, like, don't mess with me don't mess with my mom and what I love about the spirit of the way that I'm always really trying to teach my kids is where you realize that there are bad things in the world. You realize that sometimes things are scary, but you want to prepare yourself and you actually want to begin to lean in too scary situations. The way that we're often trained by instinct is when something scary is happening would kind of pull away, right? I don't know mike and I have might come up here for just one quick second being like a large, friendly yet potentially could be scary dude, right? If he wanted to be, so I'm not going to take him out because my shoes will, like, totally not let me right. But let's say you know that mike is either somewhere in the street or were fighting on don't throw really hard, so I don't get a big black eye that be awesome. Even though I should be able to move but if mike is kind of throwing a punch at me right either one yeah, mike is throwing a punch at me generally if we get really scared, you can think about trying to lean out right it's like kind of, you know, being scared, especially the punches just do it slow mo right of a punch is coming really slow that's kind of new doo doo doo doo doo slow motion the way that art sometimes our instinct is is to close your eyes and to kind of lean away, which is you can see is probably the worst possible thing that I could do right? So if mike is here and he's really close to me, the thing that I want to do is I want to come in, I want to lean in right nice uppercut right there, matrix, right? I chose the right person, but, you know, actually when I come in and even if I don't do anything if you're coming at me and at least I come in, even if I'm just blocking myself, I'm close enough to where I congrats if I need to right that's kind of the metaphor that we want to talk about for fear so now hug because your hunger right, thank you for being large, scary looking guy mike for a mom so that's actually the metaphor that we want to be using right when something comes up when you have these kind of fears instead of saying, you know, oh my god, I want to lean back, how can we really learn toe lean into them to say, first of all, it's okay, rodney was just sharing this morning when he was coming, even making this journey even coming here to create a live was a little bit scary, right? You're in this early stage and square one you don't really know what to expect, right? But what you did by your behaviour is you leaned into it and you said even though I'm a little bit nervous, I'm going to do it right and only that, like, I have another project that I'm gonna be doing launched a kickstarter for a documentary and and I was starting to think about it it was like it was the fear of success actually because I was like, wow, if this actually gets me and I'm gonna actually benefit actually gets funded, I'm gonna actually have to make that has actually make the documentary and I started started thinking about that as well. Teo like okay, well, it's going totally gonna basically even though it's been a dream, I basically have to move to philby's for like, six months and and yet but even though his was a dream and the fact that it's so tangible and it's real that I can actually I can really see it happening I did I got fear of that I was like, wow, okay, they don't actually have tio pick up and leave you know, my home and they started really dawning on you okay? It won't be able to see my nephews and nieces for a while things like that started to creep in so it was like the combination of the two really but I started having these kind of like, you know, fears yeah definitely and you know, and I think for each of it, the more that you begin to dig into it it's actually a good segue way the more that you begin to dig into it and understand specifically what is it that you're afraid of, right there's one fear could be not having worked the other one is I'm actually successful, you know? And I am gonna have work but what you really want to start to do is just to begin this diary bob, right begin to talk with your fears to really understand what it is that they're telling you because as I've said many times today, fear is there to protect you it's not something you have to stomp on and get rid of you wanna listen to what is the message that it's actually delivering to you and in order to really prepare for it so one of the ways that you can talk with your fear and we could look at we can look at this very specifically um e j because I really love that one probably being a mom too right of looking at that fear of kind of saying you know it's it's irresponsible tohave a business or what like what what would be that specific fear so if I know that I fear causing instability in my son's life or something if I continue to be like yeah like the fear that like you're not making the right choice for your kids more that it may not be in their best interests for you to focus on your business right okay yeah ok right so I fear that I may be not making the right choice you know, uh for my child um why do you fear that because why uh because I mean because my child is precious you know and um I don't want to do any kind of like damage like knowingly like do something that may cause them harm yeah you because because you want to you want to be providing and you want him to be happy and tell me ok if I knew if you knew what something would there be something that you could know or learn that would alleviate the fear a little bit in this case, I think if I knew that everything was gonna be all right you know, like he was going to be alright like is actually going to be like a growth experience for us as a family, it was gonna be something that would benefit us. Okay? So right, if you knew everything was gonna be okay was growth experience to benefit the family, then how would you feel then I would feel confident and like securing my choice. Awesome. Um, is there any specific step that you think you could take that would allow you to kind of learn the thing that you need to learn to know that this is going to be a good learning experience for you and your son? Um, well, one of the things that I have done is, um, kind of thought about how do I want my son to see me, like, in ten years? Like, what exam? What do I want him to learn from my example of my life? And I kind of have that, like, reminder for myself but my workplace workstation. Um and I think I think I'll also be helpful to talk to other moms, like talked to other moms who are having their experiences and kind of hear how it's impacting their relationship with their kids, they're just like, you know, the little like just like what you shared earlier about you know, having your stunt introduce you your life event yeah and the impact that had on him I felt like that was like, you know, a little story that I can put in my backpack when I start to feel doubt so like pull out again and kind of remember why I'm really doing this definitely definitely and you know, I think when one part of it there's there's two pieces of it because part of when you start to look at the specific fear area you know you talked about fear of making a wrong choice you know, being in business but it sounds like one of the underlying values one of the things that you want is a great learning experience for yourself and your son and your son's eleven right? Okay, so even really little kids are amazing little wisdom balls right at eleven he's I'm sure a pretty intelligent young man you thought you were telling me at lunch like theo? Yes new business ideas he's making youtube videos of like pipe cleaners and, you know, transformer guys and so one of one of the ways when we're talking specifically about addressing the a concern that you have about making sure that your entrepreneurial journey is going to something that's also positive for him is to also involve him in the discussion on dh talk about, you know what do you want? You know, what do you want to learn? What do you think about the fact that I'm working? What scares you? Is there anything about what I'm doing that scares you? Sometimes I think as as parents, we're really close to our kids there's different philosophies about what to do like to share everything with kids or not, sometimes in it, you know, we share our money fears around the table, and this is true for people that are in corporate jobs or entrepreneurship because we can scare the daylights out of kids right where we're like, oh, you know, I'm worried I don't know if I can make ran or I'm not sure what's happening and sometimes it's good to teach them as part of their education, you know, just to learn about the world of work, sometimes there could be things where you might learn, you know what his particular fears are, where you could just learn a little bit of a different way right of addressing that issue that's maybe not directly with him or having him be part of it, but I have a sense I'm not sure what the rest of you think that when you're specifically setting this whole experience up as a family learning experience, right, and you're sharing the opportunity with him here he has these entrepreneurial ideas and you give yourself permission to have any kind of outcome that is meant to be you're a hard worker I know you're a hard worker, right? You're going to do everything you can it's one of the reasons why you're here to continue to grow what you already have, which is a great unique business serving people you care about right? You're going to get information resource is support in order to grow your ecosystem your peer mentors, right? If for some reason like I think vanessa was saying in there end of the day if things don't end up the way that you planned, could it still be at wonderful educational experience for yourself in your son? Yeah, it could I feel like what really was really powerful is the the stages of change yeah, and um and I think I was forgetting that piece of like just like all the aspects of the hero's journey and how much like failure is part of the learning yeah, and like what parish for like the next step and I mean, I think about we usedto watch actually the last airbender a lot on nick gloria I love it, I just feel like it's a lot like they're a lot of like, entrepreneurial kind of like metaphors there as well, but I remember how many times he failed before he actually succeeded and so so yeah so it's definitely it's something that I definitely forget you know from time to time and so yeah and I mean, are we really preparing our children telling them that the on ly thing you should ever do in your life is to get in situations where you will never fail even even if you're miserable write a lot about I think is the context you know, we never want to put our loved ones in harm's way or write be totally stressed about things in that case there's so many different options we can look at right there could be the side hustle to the entrepreneurial business there's being your own venture capitalist somebody was saying I think one of our internet students was saying that they were afraid of having to go back to a job if this didn't work is that bad? Who cares? That's totally fine we're all self employed anyway so you need a little bit more time with your project and you have to go back and get a job for a specific period of time to be your own venture capitalist that's fine if you're thinking about it in such a way that you realize that all you're trying to do is just to get a little bit more time or money or resource you know? So I think a big part of being able to dig in and understand like what your fear is actually saying is figuring out you know, what really is the real fear is it really fear of failure when you begin to narrow it down? It became something more specific about really having an excellent learning experience and where you're in close communication with your son where you have him participate in what you're doing, where you share successes and failures where you you know, celebrate big winds and also talk about failures I cannot think of a better kind of learning opportunity that you can give your child, you know, and and and I think that's one of the ways that you could begin to kind of break break things down it's when we have this generalized anxiety where we're just in general worried about things happening that that it could become really difficult so I'm wondering for anybody I want to work maybe one more example of, uh, talking with your fear were there any questions that were coming oppa's we were doing the talking with your fears or were there specific? I don't think questions necessarily as there are some more fears coming in my ideas are too big, we're told often to think big and yet fear that it might be too big yeah, but also we have seen a similar conversation about showing your children that taking a leap of faith is ok is actually that encouragement um versus irresponsibility so yeah, people supporting you that's what? I was hoping that people would be rallying you know because yes right I think there's there's a lot of different ways that you can you can look at it. Okay, well, yeah let's let's uh let's take somebody else here so anybody else want to work a fear a little bit to figure out have a specialization issue okay, so one one fear I don't know I guess that's sort of a fear but I you know, as a as one of those fact finders I can end up clogging my head a little bit too much crowd out my own kind of instincts and so one thing I've come across a lot is this, you know, need to specialize everyone talks about a niche and that generalists like can't be successful I know there's some some some you know, criteria for that depending on like, how much competition in your area or how small your market or whatever and so you know, I feel like you should specialize if you if you want teo, if you feel compelled to and not because that's the rule that you know people are putting out there and so for me it's it's it's is one of those multi what are we calling the most pluralistic potential potential? And I love that you're just goingto can I take that girl so one of them for me being as a service to businesses is, you know, specializing in like, one particular, you know, service offering were specializing in particular, you know, kind of industry or and or or neither of those and and I feel more and more that I should specialize because there's so much competition of, you know, creative people designers like what I do but in my in my geographic location but I don't have that fear that I would be bored in the specialty I think that I would I would choose, but it would mean, you know, not being able to use all of my, you know, current work that I've done for years as examples of work because there isn't there aren't enough to fill that particular category and and I just wondered if you could talk a little bit about specialization and and where you think a generalist could could you know, could khun bring things together because that's kind of that was my video that I sent in about. So yeah, you know, can I can I also get away with with with, you know, being a designer who also writes and also helps people of strategy because usually you find those services and like companies with fifty people right? And I have other businesses on the side that I don't want to have employees and and I want to be able to remain agile and stuff so that's a place that I have permanently stuck for right now, let's, stay let's look at the specific fear about it, and then when we start to specifically look at the design of the business and the market analysis, particularly in tomorrow morning, I think we can look specifically at some of the areas realization what I'm hearing from you tell me if this is true, is it? I fear, specializing? Sort of? Because why? Because one, it would close doors to, you know, any current potential contacts that I have possibly, um and and two, I don't have a lot of specific projects around that area, all the white I'm personally involved in this it's related to, like food and farming and food policy issues, and and, um, and so I guess I would feel like it would eliminate a lot of the work I've already done to use as examples or proof of showing results for, you know, similar types of clients because people would want to see work in that particular area. So I feel like I'd be wiping off years of work and maybe that's the kind of fear that could just be gotten over by figurine, so those two, I think it's close closing doors, too. To existing clients and you know, what do you do with all the people who are following your newsletter? You're blogger whatever, which aren't million's or thousands even so, so just that that those two were three things I guess so if you knew, is there anything that if you knew that would make you feel better or different about that decision? I think if I knew that there was a riel market, um, and a need for my services in that particular industry where I can actually really thrive, that that's where I have to do a bit more research, I have fear that maybe it's not there people who don't really have enough money to spend on all right, what I can offer. So is that a good fear? Tohave yeah, yeah, it's awesome fear to have is a business person to not know. I am not sure if there are enough people within the specialty area, right tio address the issue of I'm afraid that I might not be able to take care of myself if I specialize is one thing, but if you knew by research which you love to dio, that there actually was viability and maybe by testing and trying and doing offers and things we're talking about tomorrow, if you were able to get clarity about that right now in this one first element then you might feel better, right? Not not a scared you know, etcetera so so one you know, what would that make you feel better? I mean, it was for another one yet to number two in a second just for number one that would make me feel better yeah if you had like, a real sense of what the market was, you knew some competitors you saw movement, right? You saw people who were selling into that market that might make you feel a little bit better. So for the action step in this area would this be one area where you might want to make a project out of researching that particular specialty area? Yeah, take it to kind of dig in and get some more data so I think for that particular piece that could be a case for the second piece of and losing traction or you're not in some cases if you are a multi potential lighter, multi passionate all this lash careerist scanner, then sometimes also the fear of specialization can mean that means I won't be able to do other things that I love or I will just be known for one thing or I won't be able to serve other clients. One thing that I know we're keeping a lot of folks is you know, if you knew that having a strong clear presence in the market facing sense of having a clear brand does not at all mean that you can't do other things that you can't choose to serve other clients that often that can kind of take the weight off of you or like mike was saying, if you know that you don't have to do it forever, you don't have to specialize forever, right? It could just be a period of time where you get known within this particular area and I think that's part of what? You know what could be alleviated. So this is one one area the whole reason why we're going through this process and this could just be a worksheet that you can use all the time, right? When you have a particular fear, you know, here specifically what I fear here's, why I fear it if I knew and by no, I mean, you know, is their knowledge information support resource is that would really help you, you know, if you had some kind of solution, then it might make you feel better than how can you go specifically to go after that information to make a better informed decision, right? E j is doing more specific work to figure out how could I make this educational experience of entrepreneurship, a project for my family, if I can see other people who were doing it successfully, right? If I really focus on building up my business you know that then it can really alleviate the fear so it takes it from the generalized anxiety down to a specific point. So I think that's one very, very specific important thing to look at for a lot of the different fears that we have generated, you know, not having clients, not providing the one about, you know, wondering if people are going to find out you know who you are this this could be a case where you might fear being found out or being an impostor because you may not think that you have the experience to do what it is that you want to do, right? You may not think, you know, being an accountant, what was the example of sepa? Right somebody's, a c p a and maybe they want to be an artist or a photographer and people may not consider you know that they are an expert, but if this person knew that they could effectively serve their clients if they could, you know, having been a positive experience of working with somebody, if they could develop a new circle of friends who would understand, you know who they were, who was open to supporting them, then they might feel totally different. And the reality is, if we think about the squares of change, you are always going to be feeling less secure and less competent and when you're in the early stage of doing something right always always always so in some ways it's not fair to yourself if you expect that you're gonna be in square for the promised land totally experienced competent having worked with hundreds of clients when your first just you know starting out working with one right and those of you who've been in the early stages of business vanessa you've been in business like ten months or something you said is that right? Yeah but of body hair about a year okay, yeah there's one of my favorite learning models because you know, I love my models if the follow through part of me I think is the uh called the conscience conscious, competent learning model have you ever heard of that before? I'm excited if I could tell you actually we'll just call it the learning model first this is really important that relates to a lot of people's fears so as people have studied learning how we learn anything, write a new language starting a business the first stage first age is unconscious incompetence otherwise known as blissful ignorance way are not aware of what we don't know right? And you were sitting in the cube and you're fantasizing about passive income rolling in and making money and being an entrepreneur like everything is cool you have no skin in the game, you're still getting your paycheck everything's fine right you have your jerry maguire moment you grab the goldfish you you know run out the door, make a big speech all of a sudden you aren't conscious of your incompetence you are suddenly aware of all the things that you don't know oh my gosh I don't know how to get a business license I don't understand how to do taxes I don't know how to get clients this could be a really kind of panic zone right when all of a sudden you become aware of all the things that you don't know by practicing by you know, failing trying and failing but by going through different steps then you go to conscious confidence where you have to think about it right? It's still not totally effortless either in that thing that you're doing maybe if you're selling for the first time you know you're selling to people and you can have the conversations you close business but you're still aware of it you're still look kind of thinking through the steps in the sales process you're aware of what you're doing or for coaches those of you who have been through coach training right broken michael um that sometimes you know, you might be coaching somebody but you're still aware of like what? Tula my using and my saying the right thing and you know you can do it but you're you're still aware of it the last step is unconscious competence it seems like they've been doing it forever, right? You see athletes michael phelps right in hiss, you know, jumping in the pool and swimming, you know, just like man that's amazing it just seems like they've always done it when you see really tremendous fantastic presenters, it feels like they just rolled off the turnip truck like knowing how to present I pretty much guarantee that is not the case they started out, you know, at this stage, everything here in the learning model is based on practice and experience that's how you actually get to a different stage of confidence so when you know that right, some of the models and frameworks that were using here are that when you know that when you know that early on in business it is normal and natural that you feel totally incompetent that it feels awkward to have conversations with people that you feel like you don't exactly know what's going on, you don't have a total handle on your finances, but by practicing by doing it again and again and again that's the on ly way that you can get good at it by really practicing a lot in doing mohr and more of it is where you start to get really effortless now here's the case when we go back to our strengths model that we were talking about earlier today, what about understanding yourself you're always going to be in the very best kind of situation where you're focusing on learning things that are still within your zone of strength right you're still going to be focusing on areas where you really feel like you're able to have some confidence so this I think could be super super helpful I remember the first time I learned spanish when I went to mexico my sophomore year of college I didn't know one word I was on the plane I actually had the dictionary out and I was trying to learn to speak to my host family they met me when I got off the the plane and I just you know said a few words I stumbled around for a couple of months I took classes when I was there um I live with another family in a small village in michoacan I begin to get more comfortable and then after that I ended up living my senior year in colombia in bogota and after practising it all the time that I got to the place where I wasn't even thinking about it right but you have to start from the beginning the on ly way that you can get fluent you can get comfortable is by experience so I think just by knowing that right just by knowing that there's a way that you can kind of work through this experience in the issue of fears like not being liked right and criticized the more that you do it and anybody have to ever talk to that has actually had quite a big stage where they have some kind of celebrity has often said one of the big things you have to learn is just dealing with criticism sometimes just simply because you end up having more of a platform or profile people will go after you and boy people not our internet people but some internet people are so mean it's like man if you've ever read like yahoo blog's or comments on that or amazon reviews oh my gosh like no wonder we get scared of that um the first rule is don't read those things really I mean don't it doesn't it's not going to do you any good but you know one of the ways that you can start to get used to it it's just by having that experience the number of times right when you really do get success and people might challenge you uh the first couple times hurts if you get no negative emails or reviews but after why you realize this is really this is part of it right part of serving a broader audience is having not everybody like me learn how to not take it personally so that I think is a really important um framework to think about don't beat yourself up for just not knowing maybe you're a little bit earlier in the in the stage of change now there's one more tool, which is really, really helpful in dealing with fears. There's a couple different models that we use within the coaching world. And this is one that's called self coaching one oh, one by my friend brooke castillo it's a great book. And brooke also studied is a martha back coach. But she's also studied a lot with a lot of other people, and she kind of synthesized different thoughts in our coach row. We call it thought work, right. Different work you can do on your thoughts to focus on how you can really identify a very particular fear and begin to kind of check and see if it's actually true. I want to start kind of with a clean slate, and we can work a couple live examples. So the first stage is to look at some of these different these these very specific, um, pieces of the self coaching model. So the first one is circumstance, wayne, we have fought feeling, action and result. Okay, so can we get a person in our studio audience who is willing to work a particular thought here? I just erased all of them. But you kind of remember, right, what were some of your fears were, um, what's what's one particular thought that we can work so what? What is kind of maybe a troubling thought that you might have, like one of those fears or one of those things that just kind of bothers you and the entrepreneurial journey? Well, the reason one of the things I talked about in my video that I submitted to be part of the audience was just getting here now it's about a year on dh I've started it seems like it's going to be a success if I can keep going. Yeah, and there's a couple roadblocks in place and one of them is just how am I gonna financially make the investments that I need to make in order to make the money that I need to make to keep it going? Yeah, yeah got it because right you have the holiday season coming up you gotta invest some of the wine's, okay, you gotta buy the wine before they start pacing the orders. I mean, yeah, you just gotta have it on hand. Yeah, because it's too busy to wait around for the wind to get there, you know, right you have to be ableto turn around. Okay, so so that that's so that's kind of this circumstance, right? Just your following the model on the way could go either way, but yeah, the circumstances you have the holiday season coming up and you need to buy wine inventory right that's that's the circumstance okay and can I just say one other thing that there's a couple of reasons it I know it's a july so some people think this may be really early but you know I don't just sell wine I sell products of two different wines that repaired I write custom wine notes there's blogged post with the white nuts so there's so much prep that goes along with it too so I need to know what wines I'm going to feature how I'm going to feature it I need to have a catalog ready it in the beginning of september for my corporate plan so it's just so much prep that needs to happen and money that needs against that yeah okay so when we think about like a yucky thought a thought that's kind of giving you some anxiety around that circumstance what's that thought the thought is can I get all of this done yeah in time can I pay for it get it done and the other things that need to get done to make the money in the holiday season and I need to make this sustained me during the slow time okay get this done in time might like in those moments when like you ever wake up three in the morning and you have a really scary thought might it be I can't get this done on time right or I'm going to run out of money you know sometimes I mean it's natural fears that pop up right from that's always three in the morning I don't know yeah no me too yeah so can I get this done is a lot more positive but what it like I can't get this done right and then your mind goes crazy and then it just you know that everything's gonna fall apart and then it's gonna failure and right on and on and on so at that time where you have that thought I can't get this done in time what kind of feeling does it give you I mean sick to my yeah oh yeah if you were to name it like mad glad sad or scared which emotion would it be like sad sad okay that I took this huge risk and put all this investment in and I can't make it to the end yeah it is I mean it's a very it's a very powerful emotional things so when you're specifically in that state of mind of like the thought is I can't get this done in time you get sick to your stomach you feel sad and upset what action do you usually take I mean so resonates with me that you have quarterly plans for things I go back to okay what do I need to get accomplished this week and how is that going? Tio help me reach my goal and what and what things that might losing track of that, I need to put back on the priority list or moved back up the priority list. That's awesome that's a that's a healthy reaction are there ever any unhealthy reactions for me? It's yeah, dog got it down swiss almond law and order or now scandal on hu lu scandal episodes are, you know, a never ending thing. Sometimes I love the fact that when you're in that state that you go back to planning but are there ever other times? Yes. Oh, that shut down. No, shut down the website. Why am I even doing this? Yeah, right. You kind of get that feeling right? Like, right? Yeah, forget it. That's like the that's the most destructive thoughts that I have and I don't have that very often because earlier this year I had a come to jesus moment about do I move forward? This was in march and I had to do with getting the proper facility and all these other things that I always assumes I had to make, including the fact that I'm pregnant and I'm due in october, which is a very weird I'm so, so excited, but a very weird timing. Yeah, so I really had to make the decision do I quit because I'm gonna have a baby and do I just, you know quiet or do I keep going and try to make it happen? And, well, I'm here and, you know, a lot of great things happened. A lot of fell into place and, like the signs all pointed to keep going was amazing. Yeah, and so then I did and it's exciting. So I do go back to planet because I do have this faith that the signs were pointing me to keep going. That's fantastic. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, sometimes you can have that feeling, you know, wanting to shut it down or in, like, taking no action or little action, everybody reacts a little bit differently there result sometimes, if you're in a negative pattern where you kind of shut it down, you don't do much activity is you, you kind of get lower results, right? If you're focused on the going back to planning stages where you can end up feeling better, which is nice it's kind of a one one way that you have looked at a positive side as you do and getting good results because you re you re focus right where some of the negative things that like, forget it, it's not worth it, you know, when it goes on this side and that's often where you have no action. And again given your profile of being somebody who has positivity and write really being focused on moving forward it can feel really hard so what brooke says which I really agree with so much is the on ly way actually if we're having results that were not happy with if we are feeling really crappy and we're feeling you know really sick about a situation the on ly place we can actually actively make a change is that the thought level is by changing the thought because the thought is the one piece that when you change that thought it ends up changing everything right in the whole model so if you were to take off that I can't get this you know done in time and you change it the important thing is it has to be true right it has to be true you have to think of a thought that's kind of equally true for you what what would be a thought that would actually make you feel a lot more empowered could just be the you know the office that one that you just said um I can get it done and that um I can get it done it's gonna work um I you know I have my plan in place that is gonna work I've had the luxury of going through a holiday seasons I already know how it works so I think it's just gonna be even better this time. Um and those are the thoughts, those air, the positive thoughts that keep me going and then also january it's slow it's like an awesome time to kind of take a month off. No one wants to talk about gifts and january, right? And a lot of people don't want to talk about wine because they're working out and doing there. Dr mom, right? You know, so so, you know, I can kind of think about that. I mean, it's the perfect opportunity to relax and recoup and get ready for the year. So that's, like also something awesome. Kind of awesome. So you know what I think it's really important, you know, is that it's not just replacing any old thought of, like, you know, it's gonna be a total disaster, but like you actually have you have done it before. Right now you have a specific plan and you're looking at it and it's like, if you work your plan, if you get the right kind of resource, is immediately, I thought about what could be certain ways that you could have a pre sale, right? Some kind of a lot of times, people do it a lot in the internet world where they will say, want to create an e book or they want to create a program they don't create anything what they do is create the sales letter and say this is what it is that I have coming and they used that as their market research that's based on people actually paying for it in order for them to decide if people are going to do it so there could be a creative way that you could get people to pre book the gifts, right? And in some ways it's like you can get it in time, my plan is in place or it is possible maybe their other kinds of business models that you could look to it could help solve this problem that would make you feel much more confident if it's a matter of you having the resource is in order to be purchasing the inventory if you're working, especially with some ideal clients maybe that you've worked with before, you could have maybe a little bit of a discount or something special or extra if they book ahead, but essentially they could be the ones that are helping you to mitigate this particular risk, right that's part of what it is theo you want to do, but so where you have that thought, you know my plans in place, I've done it before, I'll do it again, what kind of feeling do you have when you think that thought, you know it is possible relief? Yeah right relief you can get you know inspired you can feel you know, flexible, creative and then often we take much more concrete action when you have that particular feeling when you're feeling good when you know something is possible that allows you to take much bolder action right which of course your actions are those that end up driving your results so this particular tool self coaching one o one there's also a great resource called the work which is from byron katie you can look at it at the work dot com the similar kind of model where you can examine your thoughts but I'm telling you I use this all the time what do we call it thought sanitizing or something? I think in the martha beck world where uh you know, basically the way I generally know that I need to do some thought work is where I start to feel really crappy, right? You're in comparing despair like I was talking about, you know, with the chair with jane where, you know all of a sudden you start to feel like really crappy or like you're not really good and a little bit you know, self conscious immediately you want to ask yourself what's my thought my thought is brooke is so much smarter than I am you know what she's cuter right has, you know has a nicer sweater and everything and so when when you identify that thought when you're feeling really awful then you could make a change in the thought and you begin to see a shift in how it is that you're feeling it's extremely powerful and you can write this down like a worksheet so if you're writing down these questions she does have a book which is called self coaching one no one and I think when you get the book you could get like downloadable worksheets but I do it on a regular course of action that I often prescribe it if you will to certain clients right it's a continual evaluation of your thoughts we're not trying to to not see things that are important for us to see right if you're on a business plan that you see on paper and by experience there's no way for it to happen the way that I wanted to happen you can still make a choice you know in some cases you say ok, I'm going to set it aside for right now I'm going to make a different decision right? Gonna take on a different client or something but you you still want to make sure that you're thinking about the thought really consciously in a way that's empowering to you right? I want to know that I'm making a poor decision the negative thought could be that could make you feel bad, you know I've made the wrong decision right just to support my son in the example that we worked when we started to look at that fear right? It could be a much more empowering thought of I am creating an amazing experience where my son gets tto learn things that will help him for the rest of his life because f y I the world is always going to be unstable I think all of our kids should learn howto have businesses, all of our kids should learn how to deal with uncertainty, so you're totally ahead of the curve, right? And when you think about that and you replace that thought that's going to make you feel much more clear and empowered right to be able to own your decisions so this particular methodology of walking through and using this self coaching one no one is a really, really effective tool and you can do it to yourself. That's why it's called self coaching so are there any commentary from folks that are out there in the internet? I know it's hard for us to give a live example uh when I can't go back and forth with question and answer now, but any tweets are insights, any challenges I love challenges, right? People are being so nice, I don't mind people say, you know, challenge my thoughts as well, right, right, well, I think jennifer here says thanks so much for this reminder and exercise and tips for examining my thoughts this is so and bold, important and even liberating. So greg saying this laugh last segment has been great, but I don't see any challenging things coming through yet, okay, snow okay, positives. Chris mckay loves this learning model is, well, cool, that's awesome! Yeah, it's very, very powerful. I think the biggest thing is is that we're not just victims to our emotions, right? It's, like all of a sudden things have to come through, we have fears we can't do anything. We want to be really, really conscious about our thoughts. I had one of my clients who is a former disney animator who lives in argentina. She went to a wedding in argentina, fell in love with one of the people that was at the wedding, ended up marrying him herself, and she had this vision to do a kickstarter project where she was going to raise twenty five thousand dollars. She's also an artist, he's, a fine artist, and she wanted to paint in all twenty two provinces in argentina's twenty two or twenty three I said, twenty five and an argentinean corrected me so sorry argentineans have I got the wrong number of provinces, but my client on trees would set out this twenty five thousand dollars kickstarter project and I don't even really know she was going to do it all of a sudden she just told me and I was like, okay, we were already a few days into the campaign and it was like on day twelve or something of a thirty day campaign and she had maybe eight thousand dollars or something raised and she was like, oh my god, what was I thinking? Oh my god I said that the limit to hi this is ridiculous I'll never do it I don't have enough people on my mailing list so we went back and forth that was coaching her on skype and, uh and then finally said, well, what about the people who have already contributed? Why don't you go to them and ask them if they could help you write referrals referrals to get the word out because they've already invested so you know, they're probably interested in helping and she said it's not their job to fund my campaign it's my job to fund my campaign and when she thought it's my job alone to fund my campaign and I'm being selfish and I ask other people she felt horrible she helped felt shut down so I was like opportunity for thought work you know, we examine that we change the thought to people who contributed to your kickstarter campaign would be delighted to help you she ended up feeling much better I had her right and email the next day we had four thousand more dollars in her kick starting campaign. I call it the four thousand dollars thought because she changed her thought she ended up raising all twenty five thousand dollars and she currently is in argentina painting portrait's in every single province writes pretty cool if she had not challenged her thought she never would have reached her goal and that's why? For everything we're talking about, we talk about business models it's not always just, you know, market data and research. Do you have the right plan? The majority of it, I would argue, is, what are the thoughts that you have going into it, right? If you choose to specialize, if you choose to say no to certain clients, write, that might make you feel a little bit scared isn't actually going to move you in a really positive direction where you can grow your business if you believe it it's much more likely to happen, so this is a very, very powerful thing. Now we have another special tool that we're bringing in a little secret surprise that I learned about from my dear friend and my client cheryl dolan, you confined her at cheryl dolan dot com cheryl is a presence coat she's a communications coach, and she deals with people all the time that our wanting to present in public or do strong interviews or just connect well in person and she uses a tool which we're using right here right now so let's roll one of these wonderful pallotti's balls over here I've always wanted to say you get a ball and you get a ball like oprah does but let's bring a couple more up here and I would ask for a couple of volunteers anybody want to volunteer to be doing a little I won't make you like jump for duncan okay we have our right or two dudes all right so ronnie and mike okay and I'm gonna sit normally I would not have like four inch heels on but okay all right so so what you do when you're using this this is a tool that actually aligns your nervous system it's very cool it what it does can you put that over there michael um so what it does when you're sitting on your pallotti's ball and actually bouncing is it focuses your mind so you get a lot more clarity and we'll start to bounce we're not going to bounce you should normally bounce for a full fifteen minutes all of you would get very seasick here in the studio audience and on the internet if you watched this bounce this whole time but we'll just demonstrate for a moment right? You want to have a straight back and you want to have your feet flat on the floor and then you just consider and you bats now even by bouncing a little bit you guys feel anything in your mind what do you feel like? I feel it's relieving e just feel uh like my mood just even just a little bit brighter gather move gets a little bit brighter okay, how about you, mike? I feel good because I don't set a lot like I move even when I'm working out yeah look at that going up and down okay we'll stop okay cool and I'll let you hit the brakes are where a the end of the day you could bounce for your fifteen minutes but I don't want to make everybody seasick but actually when you do what you do immediately feel better one is because you're physically moving but what happens when you bounce on the ball for about fifteen minutes is it calms you down? It actually focuses your mind so you know when you have that overwhelmed kind of feeling where you have a whole bunch of thoughts in your head it produces dopamine in your body so that you naturally begin to generate that chemical that makes you feel good that could be part of what it is that you're feeling and you really feel energized that it ends up making you feel like you just, you know, done yoga or some kind of really positive positive thing so if you have a yoga ball at home one of the things that we wanted to do for fun with the creative live audience is maybe have people take a picture of themselves with their pallotti's ball you could do the little instagram vine photos or something if you want to do a video but what I'd like you to do is if you have the time to do the full fifteen minutes then let us know what the experience was like you know note how you felt beforehand you know if you do it tonight's the end of the dave and watching me maybe part of the day sitting down so note how you were feeling before and then also note how it is that you're feeling after and we actually have balls for everybody I think so you can take them home with you and blow them up and actually excuse me use them yourselves thank you for that demonstration. What tear says they're terry says it's like they say where our own worst critic oftentimes when I share my ideas with the selective people they're so enthusiastic and always received positive impact yet I often see my own ideas are too big so and then jeff li says it's so awesome learning so much today these this change my point of view for my business so a lot of great comments coming in but I would love to hear a couple of end of day comments as we bring in the board is well we're going to bring back our board so one of the things that we want to is the board that we drew that we drew heavily through emily shepherded this beautiful visual for us so we could be kind of reviewing where it is that we are in the journey and one of the things that she did as well as you notice that she went back and kind of filled in the spots where she just had an outline before I'm just in awe of this I think I want to frame it and put it up in my house beautiful yeah so where were we where we have been today he isn't looking at starting at the squares of change right? We remember that hating your job intensely is not a business plan and we talked about the different squares of change death and rebirth some kind of catalytic event that happens right that puts us into the stage of I don't know what the hell's going on and that's okay second stage is dreaming and scheming lots of different options that you can explore when you're brainstorming different ideas square three the hero saga when the mantra is this is much worse than I expected and that's okay where you are trying things you're in your first year of business especially you have those kinds of fears and doubts you slay the dragon in the middle of the night in order to figure out how you can move forward and if you keep moving forward your positive and your thoughts you get to promise land where of course the mantra is everything's changing and that's okay, because often once you get somewhere that you've been that's really been a goal either circumstances change or your ideas might change not immediately I don't I don't mean to say that like immediately when you get to a certain place you might get ready to go but you know my own example having done escape from cubicle nation for eight years I love it I adore it I've been in that work but then soon I started to feel this bubbling right that we're the ideas for my new book of what about if I started to talk about the whole world of work as opposed to just entrepreneurship right? Sometimes that's naturally how things start to appear we started with understanding yourself and we went through the kolbe index we define some of your ingredients we talked about the strengths finder we talked about defining your ideal client so what's the ideal client avatar ecosystems in watering holes and then recently what we've done is to examine the role of fear and really see what are some specific tools that we can use in order to deal with fear you can see where we're going tomorrow which I'm super excited about which is both in depth mark could research will do this with my friend susan buyer who will be joining us from phoenix? I mean she'll be here in san francisco but she's from phoenix and we will be looking at developing specific offers how can we test and try initial offers to get things out there? We're going to talk about building your business foundation finances and legal systems and also protecting your ideas and assets and we're going to do it in such a way they will not cause you to drool but will make you excited because if I liberal arts major can get excited about business processes and systems you can teo guarantee you it will have my good friend kyle durant is here for that section so based on what we covered today what were some of the things that you know that hit all of you I know it's a lot of information to cover in one day but what were some of the key learnings? What were some of the action items maybe that you're going to be taken away from today I think what things that really hit me it was just one of these you just shared challenge of thought you know I think so many of us I mean pressure everybody can really relate to that where it's just really just approaching the problem and really almost like changing your attitude but just looking at it in a more positive light and taking that challenge and you don't try to morph it into an opportunity, really and that's something that's really powerful for me. That's wonderful. Yeah, very powerful. What else? Mike? I wrote this every word. You have to stand for something at any given time. So I know I see myself, you know, for my clients were wavering on different things. It's, you know, it's, not forever, but just stand for however long that it serves you definitely yeah, and that can really enable you to take action, you know, to be in to create something. And often, if we're what many people, especially people with many interests, can get stuck in analysis paralysis for a really long time, right? They have to weigh all the options. They don't want to get stuck, and they end up doing nothing, which could be very frustrating. And you're there, like, help people take action have adventure, right, grow env elop kind of guy that's awesome. What else it's gonna be from the change model? I think, for just challenges that remembering that challenges are actually taken indication that you're on you're on your way to the promised land, as opposed to, like an indication that you're off course or you're doing something wrong definitely right, so just knowing where you are you know in the squares of change is one of the things that can make you feel the most calm like I'm exactly in the right place nothing's working it means I'm perfectly on track and that is very powerful to know I'm asking the same questions of folks that air that are on the internet of people have had insights or particular things from what it is that we've covered today I'd love to hear what those things are a cz well, one of things that I'm going to do is to give you homework because yes, I'm a coach so there has to be homework and so the first one is hopefully simple is just to name your stage of business so as we look at the squares of change, where do you think you are in which square do you feel like you're in so that would be really helpful define your ingredients and if remember that exercise it's just doing a brainstorm and listing all of your particular skills your strength if you've taken things like the cold beer the strengths finder, myers briggs anything you can put stuff down in a big piece of paper some people like to just create a huge list other people like you we seem with emily think much more visually sussing people create a list of ingredients that has pictures and so forth, but the important thing is that you begin to get everything down on paper so that as we begin to look at some of these other areas of what you might want to move forward and how you what you're actually going to look for to put your business plan together that you have some ingredients to work with you can write down some specific fears okay what's in your head three powerful just naming the fears and writing them down and then if you have a yoga ball pallotti's ball if you can go ahead and bounce on it for fifteen minutes and it's extra fund for us because we can't always see people who are on the internet I look atyou is like the doorway into all these other people we can't see but I know that folks are out there and it's really fun for me personally too kind of see who you are if you've been following along I really appreciate that everybody has done that today so bounce on the ball and let me know what it felt like and if you don't have ah yoga ball right yeah bounce on something else exactly you can you can even just kind of bounce like this move around a little bit but just the bouncing you know it's it's the easiest on apologies ball but yeah move around a little bit and see how you feel so any other insights or questions or comments? Yeah just overall positive comments throughout the chat room again kris with a k really supportive of everything you've done for her her business she said such a great day love the squares of change and knowing that I was supposed to be hiding and shivering under the covers during square one on then overwhelmed by the madness of the creative bubble of square to thanks pam and uh crispy dx says my favorite is the comment that we shouldn't hide taking risks from our kids we want them to grow and take risks so we need him to emulate that parents are chris yeah I believe it so so strongly our kids rarely listen to what we say they very, very often watch what we do awesome all right? Any other final thoughts or questions that we have from today as we close up and get ready for tomorrow it's funny that crispy x was actually sitting on a yoga ball watching this happen on this question so cool so there you go but I think it is time it's four o'clock so let's uh let's talk about maybe let's start with what we're going to do tomorrow okay so tomorrow we are going to start first thing in the morning digging into market research this is gonna be tagging off of the work that we did for defining your ideal client susan fire who's from audience audit is her company has a really cool formula that we're going to be using to help name the specific characteristics of the people that we want to work with, and then she'll lead us through a process also of understanding how we can research or ideas or survey our existing customers, or sometimes, if you've been in business for a while, your existing clients and customers are a huge treasure trove of information for you to learn about what kinds of products or services that you want to offer and also to get referrals. We're going to talk about testing and trying. So how could you do little experiments where you can put together specific offers? See, you know what it is that you actually want to be selling and move it forward? We're going to build your business foundation about answering some very specific questions about business structure and accounting systems in a fun way. I know it sounds like an oxymoron, but it's really not it's a cool thing, it's very important to your business foundation, and then we'll talk about it. You're creating these amazing things in your business, how could you protect yourself and also protect your clients? Make sure you're doing things the right way, so we have a cool, busy day ahead of us tomorrow, but really digging in with a lot of very important foundational things for the business.