Skip to main content

The 5 Habits of Building Self-Confidence

Lesson 15 from: FAST CLASS: How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence

Mel Robbins

buy this class


Sale Ends Soon!

starting under


Unlock this classplus 2200+ more >

Lesson Info

15. The 5 Habits of Building Self-Confidence

Lesson Info

The 5 Habits of Building Self-Confidence

these air five super simple things that you can dio these air rules that I live by that as a business person thes give me so much control. It's crazy. And I am really adamant about the importance of this. So I have these five rules, these five habits No phone in your bedroom, period. Now, why would I say that? I say that because, um, I want you to engage in behavior that puts you in control of your thoughts and that allows you and set you up to be the kind of person where the actions that you're taking reinforce the fact that you're in control of your life when your phone is next to your bed, which most of us have it there. What I know is that before you get out of bed, you're going to do this in the morning. And one of the most important things that you could dio is before you go to bed. 15 2nd decision that changes Everything is put the phone in the bathroom. Put in your closet, plug it in, set the alarm, turn off the alerts, leave the ring Iran, Tell your friends and family if they ...

need You call me, Don't text and then go to bed because there was a study that just came out with Deloitte. This is sick. This is not a survey. This is actual phone data. 33% of people check email in the middle of the night. Sickening. It's sickening. This has become a habit. I think that in 10 years we're gonna look back on smartphones and technology and have the same reaction that we did with cigarettes. Like, what were we thinking? Marketing? Mystic. What? Um, I want to make it hard for you to have the alarm go off and do one of these in bed. Because if you start your day reading other people's emails, you've already lost control. And one of the most important things that you can protect right now is your mind space. So have it. Number one phone goes in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the closet. Plug it in, turn off the dingo balls, turn on the ringer so that somebody can reach you in the case of an emergency. And that's it. The other thing that's gonna happen is then when the alarm goes off, this is rule number two. No snooze. It's now in the closet and you're screwed. You got to get out of bed now. Why do I not want you to hit the snooze alarm? The reason why is actually grounded in science, the snooze button when you hit it and you develop a habit of doing it, or even just you hit it once you are engaging in a behavior that impacts your productivity for up to four hours. So let me explain this to you, because the science is pretty awesome. There's a There's a term if you want, if you want to kind of look into this more called sleep inertia. So when you and I fall asleep, um, we sleep in cycles and we sleep in cycles at last 75 to 90 minutes, and then we do another 1 75 to 90 minutes, and then we do another 1 75 to 90 minutes. And then about two hours before you're about to wake up, your body goes into a state where it's thawing out like a frozen chicken. You know what I mean? It's like kind of coming to life slowly. It's no longer in a sleep cycle. When that alarm goes off, it's typically in the fallout stage. But what happens is if the alarm goes off while you're in the thought stage and then you hit the snooze button. What do you suppose you just restarted a sleep cycle? How long does a sleep cycle take? Yeah, so then when you get up 15 minutes later, your brain is still in a sleep cycle, and in research, it takes the Kordech region of your brain up to four hours to actually shake itself out of it. So you have put yourself in a state by hitting the snooze alarm, that impact speed of processing ability to focus all of it, and it lasts about four hours. It's not that he didn't get enough sleep. You'd be much better off if you could only sleep five hours. 19 The snooze button. But jumping in a cold shower, you'll literally will be alert. You won't have interrupted sleep cycle, and you are now in a position Nouriel neurologically to get up and to do what you need to dio. So instead of hitting the snooze, you're always just gonna go. 54321 It is painful. I have used this stupid rule for nine years to get out of bed. I still have to use it cause I hate getting out of bed. Now that I'm almost 50 at 2 13 when I have to pee, I now use it to force myself to get out of bed in the middle of the night because normally you lay there like OK, go back to sleep, go back to sleep. You want to pay, You don't to be. That doesn't work. 54321 The third rule. So then I get my stuff and I go into the kitchen and I've got my little journal and I do what I call before 7 30 Now what do you not see in this photo? Exactly exactly. Because there's nothing on my phone that relates to my goals. Nothing. In fact, I would argue that what's on my phone creates anxiety. It disrupts my priorities. It really screws with everything. So I sit down and why is it called 30 before 7 30? Because when I first started finding 30 minutes right after I woke up for me, the last one of our kids left at seven. In the morning. So nine times out of 10 right when they got on the bus was when I could find those 30 minutes. And so look, some mornings you won't have 30 minutes. Some mornings you got five minutes. Do you have to do it in the kitchen? No. You can do it in the seat of your car. You can go to a cafe. The most important thing. Do not look at your phone yet. So I have developed this habit that is fundamentally changed my business. So before I look at the phone before I get other people's to do list before I get distracted by the rest of the world, I get out of bed. I don't look at my phone. I sit down and I find about 30 minutes. And then there's a particular way in which I plan. So the 1st 2 hours of the day best two hours for your brain. So if you can dedicate some of that time to this stuff that matters to you, you win. So then I fill out this form and you know, you'll see. I've got my little gauge depleted May, but I want to show you a particular aspect of this. I want to show you this. So Rule number four. When you sit down to do your 30 before 7 whenever you end up doing it might be five minutes before 6 a.m. Whatever. I want you to focus on one small move. We've talked about this so much today. One small move. That's it. And I want you to planet in a particular way. Okay, First you're going Teoh, identify their project. You're working on today My project for May. It could be that you're gonna go to therapy. It could be that you're gonna exercise today. Could be that you're going, Teoh, Uh, you know, uh, right out a module for your, uh, your improvs sales business? It could be that you're gonna like it. Just what is your project? What is the project that matters most to you? Could be anything today. One thing for you. Second thing you're going to dio you're actually gonna write down? Why does it matter to you? When you identify why something matters to you, you elevate it as a priority in your mind. You actually activate this part of your brain where when you set it to do list and you prioritize that your mind is designed to hold it as an open task. And then it reminds you of a Was it called Mandy? There's like the zag in art effect is what you're leveraging here. We're also leveraging in this The third thing, One small action. I can move forward today. My project that I'm working on is this project matters to me because one small action I can take to move forward is I cannot stress enough next to not sleeping with the phone. This little planning strategy, which is backed by research, will change everything cause the Zijin Arc effect is something that you are are leveraging in terms of your brain anchoring on this and you're leveraging research from the Harvard Business School on what's called the progress principle. Did you make progress on something that matters to you? If you didn't, your day feels like a waste of time. So we're leveraging the progress principle and the way that your brain works to help you focus on one small action. So once you get here, either do it now or find the time when you're gonna do it. Now here's the benefits of this. We activated the progress principle. And when you figure out what matters to you and you focus on one small action just for don't care how little it is, forward is forward, folks. It increases people's rates of completion on the overall project to 76%. So when you pick one small move forward, it makes it easier to try, doesn't it? And when you try, you reduce self doubt because you see yourself taking action, you know, from the confidence confidence See, loop, that that actually builds confidence. And then, of course, because you have progress based on all this research that's coming out of the Harvard Business School on something that matters, it actually creates this mo mentum effect. So this teeny little tweak one selfish project for you remind yourself why this is important. And one teeny teeny little move you're gonna make forward and you win every time. Now, let me show you this crazy trick that will also change things. Plan when you quit working every day plan when you quit working Parkinson's law, the amount of time you give something is how much time it will take it right. You've had projects that you've given three weeks. How long did it take you to get it done? Three weeks. You've had projects that he had seven minutes to finish. How long did it take to finish at seven minutes? So this is a weird little thing. But, um, I planned my quitting time every day. And for we creative types, let me remind you that 96% of creative breakthroughs don't happen while you're working so super super important. So the five habits No phone in the bedroom, no snooze 30 before 7 30 Or make whatever you know, think it is that you want to dio one project that matters. That's it. One project that matters in one small way and set a quitting time. And you know, there's a lot here to absorb, but this is all relatively simple. If you have a problem that can be solved with action, you don't have a problem. And even if the problems that you feel that you faced are mental, you can solve them with action. And you also now know how. See it spot it. 54321 and move. That is what's gonna work every single time. And if you can start to absorb this idea, that confidence in every aspect of your life is just the decision to try. That's it. It begins right there. Look, I don't expect you to be perfect. I expect you to fail. But I do expect you all to try. Thank you.

Class Materials

Bonus Materials with Purchase


Ratings and Reviews

maria manolaros

Looking to build some more confidence and push through the imposter feeling I have trying to sell myself as a self taught artist. Happy to say I use the 54321 rule a lot and I didn’t know it. I call it my what have I got to loose rule. I also learned some new techniques and good “habits” to keep my day on track and prepare myself against any fear or anxiety I may encounter when powering through my day. A great motivator, Mel keeps it simple with advice and tips backed by proven scientific research . Highly recommend this

Joshua WAlters

I feel so called out! And that's a really good thing!

Faisal Sajjad

Here is Dr. Faisal Sajjad From Pakistan. Outstanding Instructions to Control Self-Doubt and Anxiety by Mam Mel Robbin. It was a fantastic course.

Student Work