we've talked last time about working on this part of the model where you know what's coming in and how can we get some stuff off of our plates? By deleting, deferring and delegating. Now we're going to focus on, Okay, there's stuff still left on your plate. I can't change your life. I don't have a Magic one. I can't take it all off of there. And there's stuff on there that's still there. If it's sitting there, how can you, how can you really maximize your energy around what's still on your plate? Some of the stuff on your plate is energizing for you. And we talked a good bit as we did the paper plate exercise that some things are both taking your energy and we're giving you energy. Those are the things you smile when you look at that you're going to do today, but there's lots of stuff you don't and what can you do? Where is your power to get back some control of how much energy you spend. You can't take it off your plate, but you can control a little bit about how much energy you spend...
. So those are the things we're going to talk about in this segment. What can we do with what's left on the plate so that our perception changes so we changes the it's like we're changing the glasses we wear when we look at that thing, so we're not putting on the the dark and gloomy glasses. Oh no, this is what I have to do today. So that's just gonna make me feel miserable and we put back on far more neutral glasses. Okay, I have to do this and I'm doing it because it ties to my purpose and that's okay. So I don't need to feel exhausted just thinking about doing it. This is a pretty old quote from f scott Fitzgerald. The world only exists in your eyes. Your conception of it. You can make it as big or small as you want to. This is our power. So in the workbook we are up to page 19 and looking at some different ways that you can use to decide how to spend your energy. And we've talked about inner critic and we're going to dive into that a little bit more because inner critic and our emotional reactions to things are very tied into this when we resent something. What are we feeling when we resent doing something? What's the emotion that's under that? Anger can be mm hmm. And what usually triggers anger? When do we feel anger? No, for a lot of people, it's when we we don't feel in control of something. Anger is one of those sort of push emotions. And that's often a good hint that if we're feel like we need to do this, we probably feel like somebody's doing it to us. Okay. There's a parallel there that, you know, if we're if we're feeling it, it's happening to us. We feel out of control in some way and that tends to feed are feeling inadequate somehow in this situation. Why I don't know why we flipped that, but we do it really, really well. You know, we feel out of control. There must be something wrong with our own mission control. There must be something north of us and a theme comes up over and over. We're not good enough. That may make us even more angry. That may make us really defeated some of the terms that we've heard. We all have different emotional reactions to that. We might have different emotional reactions depending on what that thing is. You know, in some areas of my life where I feel more empowered, I might get angrier because I don't I'm not I'm not I haven't been drained by it in other areas where I might already feel a little bit drained or I don't feel like I have skills or resources, then I might feel defeated. So there we have these different reactions, but when we recognize them, when we bring ourselves up to that awareness, we check in and we start to notice our reactions, then we can pick them again and that gives us a lot of power. So I want to talk about the mindset, Who are you, what's going on in your mind when you have that ability to choose when you feel in control of what your mindset is. There's a lot of research on happiness now and I think a lot of the community at first thought that was fluff, You know, do humans need to be happy? And there's some debate in the world of that happy? Like Happy go lucky in the moment. Um variable emotion is not as important as that deep happiness that I'm in a space where I'm connected and connected to my, what gives me real satisfaction. And as we explored earlier, that's usually when we're living our values. It's usually when we're living our purpose and we're using our strength to do it. So finding that space can really be powerful in creating the mindset that a lot you find that space for the thing that's in front of you. So it is somewhat of a cycle, you can realize your off center and then, you know, and you've learned and you train yourself to get back to center more often, so you can feel it when you're off and you can come back to it. So, you know when you go to buy a diamond, they talk about the seas of a diamond cut clarity color, et cetera. So I have some seas of mindset starting with clear. Are you really clear about what this thing is that's bothering you? So besides being clear about what you're feeling about it. This mindset where you feel clear is really important. You're not in the weeds, you're not murky, you're not sort of spinning between different ideas. You're just clear. This is when we are at our best. Were pretty clear, aren't we? We know who we are and what we want to do. We're not distracted by things. We're not living in the past or the future. We're in the present. As you said, we're clear and we're calm Because if your physiology is busy doing that chemical reaction to a major stressor, you can't think straight. We've talked about how it takes the blood straight from your frontal lobe to your legs, you can't think straight. So get yourself clear, Get yourself calm. Use one of the cool down to power up techniques to get that mindset back that you're going to get to be creative with and get curious curiosity lives in the frontal lobe. So getting curious, turns your brain on and curiosity is kind of a fun way to go through life anyway. And then the next C takes a little bit more of you courageous because if you're in the mindset that's gonna choose your life, it's going to take some courage, it's gonna take real life courage for you to speak that, to own it, to act on it. And courage is something we developed by experimenting with it and playing with it. We don't always feel it. We have to calm ourselves down first to get to it because we're not going to feel courageous if we're off center, if we're already freaking out, encourages a muscle that we use And then the next one compassionate. And you can guess where I think that compassion should go first. Start with you start with being in a place where your gentle with yourself. We have some empathy for yourself. But in many situations that compassion can spread out. So when you're in the state of the seas, the diamond, you're as resilient as a diamond. One of the hardest materials known on earth. You're clear, calm, courageous, compassionate and curious. All of those seas put together make you really resilient. And this is a mindset you can adopt as you look at the challenges that are ahead of you. Often we need to flip it. then we see this thing we start to react to it and we forget that we have this choice that we can choose a response instead of a reaction. But we may want to actually do the work first to get in this mindset because then we'll be able to choose more wisely. It is impossible for our minds to hold anger and appreciation at the same time. Isn't that cool? Mm Now it doesn't mean that we don't have sort of a quilt of feelings about another person. In fact, the more we know another person in our life, like a relative or a significant other, the more we have that quilt of emotions around them. But because our mind really only can hold mostly one thing in a time it's really difficult to be grateful and frustrated at the same time and that's kind of fun. So it gives you a tool that's why in the heart math, um many visualization that you do where you focus on your breath and then you focus on something that gives you a positive emotion. It kind of wipes the slate clean for that moment of the -1. It doesn't make the problem go away, but it wipes the slate clean and gets you back to the mindset that's gonna find that problem solution and that's, that's fun to do. You want to do that for just a minute. Go back through the think of something that's frustrating. You just think of something is really for just a moment and then go ahead and close your eyes and put a hand right on your heart and take a couple of long, slow, deep breaths and bring to mind something that gives you an inner smile. It can be a place you love to be a person you love to be around. It can be your dog, smiling at you, something that gives you inner smile and just bring it to mind and breathe in the feeling that it gives you in that heart area. Feel that deep inner feeling of appreciation. Let it just fill you with each breath and as you exhale, let it spread. It's a wonderful feeling, isn't it? It's soft.
Bonus Materials with Purchase
Keys to Creating Strategies to Ease the Drain of Stress.pdf
Cynthia Ackrill is a physician, stress expert, and leadership coach, passionate about the connecting the dots between how humans live, behave, and think, and how effective, happy, and healthy they are. She is on a mission to keep dis-stress from