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Voicing Out Our

Lesson 19 from: FAST CLASS: Stress is Optional

Cynthia Ackrill

Voicing Out Our

Lesson 19 from: FAST CLASS: Stress is Optional

Cynthia Ackrill

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Lesson Info

19. Voicing Out Our

Lesson Info

Voicing Out Our

So what I'm hearing coming out of this are a variety of needs. And I wanted to talk for a moment about voicing those needs because a lot of times our needs involved, someone else playing with us. And I came across in my coaching training, something called Nonviolent communication that comes from Marshall Rosenberg, Russell Rosenberg, thank you. And I've included a little bit of the information from it. Um you can go online and read, he's got books, he's got online information, etcetera. But I gave you from there his feelings chart and his needs charts and they are On pages 43 and 47. So one of the things that's happened in human to human communication is we've gotten lazy with our language and we've even gotten lazy with our internal language. We use the word unhappy a lot, but unhappy has all different kinds of nuances to it. So look through this chart for just a minute and look at some of the different needs and feelings that are on here and it becomes easier to give a word to what i...

t is you want as you communicate with somebody else. Now what I love about nonviolent communication is that you always start with something that's very neutral which is data. So say say I need something from a significant other. I need them to listen to something. I'll pick an example we've heard. I need them to listen to something. Start with data because data does not flare up emotions. There may be some defensiveness if it's an emotionally charged subject. But data is data. An example. A quick example of this is who was a teenager who was asked to take out the trash and you know the minute your mother started with the take you started into the she's always ragging on me and blah blah blah blah blah blah. But to start that conversation with as a parent, I would say the trash hasn't been taken out for three days, I feel like you're not doing your responsibility for this family and that makes me feel ignored. We're not respected and I need you to take out the trash as part of this family. What I just did there was state data, this this fictitious male teenager that I own and don't own this can't argue that the trash hasn't gone out for three days, no platform to stand on their dresses sitting there. So you don't start with, you never take out the trash because that's what we tend to start with. We went, first of all, we hold saying our needs until we've escalated our own emotions to an unsafe place and then we do the blurt. You never take out the trash and then you if your typical you you add on like 10 other things to that at that moment and your room's a mess and I can't believe you know yada yada, yada yada, that's not effective communication. So I love that they're actually teaching this in some of the schools. But it's a great thing to know between partners. It's a great thing to know with kids. It's a great thing to know in work situations with difficult clients just state the data. So how are you gonna help yourself accountable to that? So if I were to call you in a month, how are you doing? Did you do it? Yeah. Where are some ways you can hold yourself accountable, tell other people that's what you want to do. Yeah. Um I'll write it down on my calendar. Actually writing it matters. It really does actually writing it down matters. Putting reminders, sticky notes, whatever it is. It's going to disrupt your busy life to remember your intention. And you can use the weekly meeting that we've talked about and you know, to to build accountability in however you need to do it, but you need to not only have this lovely intention, but some accountability to that intention, because when you do that, what you're going to do is start wiring your brain so that it follows it. And that's what we're really going to talk about, creating habits that is really wiring the brain together for this. So we've started, we've started with figuring out, you know, what is on our plates, that's and what is that? What is why do we feel stressed? What is that that we feel and understanding the model of that. Then looking at ways to recognize it more in the moment to want to access more flows. We want to recognize when we're not in flow and have some tools to get ourselves back there, whether it's breath work or what whatever mini tool works for you and then creating these strategies so that you are building into your life, what you need to thrive and you've got tools in order to ask for it and tools to recognize when you're getting it and when you're not getting it. I hope that's starting to make sense to put this together, that it's a process. It is a strategy and without a strategy you don't get what you want on the left in this slide. And I'm gonna relate it to what you just said in a minute. Thanks puppy On the left in this slide is a brain cell under the electron microscope. And this was done by Mark Miller at BRANDEIS University. So this is through an electron microscope. We're talking microns on the right is a picture through a telescope of a galaxy. They look pretty darn similar, don't they? And we are this this is an amazing system, these little puppies fire and it makes us do things. It makes us talk. It makes us bathe just by these little things firing. And yet we're part of this massive universe of all of these stars. These are all systems and we are a system within those systems. And the research to find out what makes our system work matters. Now, if you think about intentionality in the scope of this, wow, from what does, what power does a thought have? There's all kinds of fascinating research out there. There's research showing that you can pray for somebody in a different room and change brain waves. We don't understand all that now. At this point, I think we're in the rudimentary stages of piecing that together. What is an intention? Is it a thought energy that's put out into the world? And what does that mean? At this point, what I know the data that I have is that I believe that stating your intentions is important. I believe that the world often gives us a lot of what we want, but we need to take the steps we are ultimately accountable for the steps we take to open up those opportunities. And that's the same for stress management.

Class Materials

Bonus Materials with Purchase

Keys to Creating Strategies to Ease the Drain of Stress.pdf
Stress Is Optional Workbook Parts 1 and 2.pdf
Stress Is Optional Workbook Part 3.pdf
Apps Resource List.pdf

Ratings and Reviews

Shahinaz El Ramly
 

How do you write the video text and it function with the video at same pace, this is mooc, is mooc allowed outside coursera, this is so imp. for my courses. I want feedback.

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