What Really Matters Most?
Welcome back to creative life fulfill your creative purpose. We just finished up with less and twelve, which is dissolving your fears. And now we're going to move into another lesson. Lesson number thirteen, which is finding out what really matters most. So I'm gonna give a little disclaimer to everyone viewing this whole segment has been pretty intense. This particular exercise is going to be even more intense. So if you are being treated for depression or in society or anything like that, I encourage you not to proceed with this exercise do it later when you're feeling strong, that includes everybody in the studio audience, you have an option now toe opt out if you don't want to participate and no one's going to blame you say all good y'all feel ok has no embarrassment if you need to leave, okay? All right. So, um, take good care of yourself and understand this is for a productive reason not doing it torture you. Um, this particular exercise is a ancient tibetan practice, and it is c...
alled the death meditation. So I'm gonna walk you through a guided meditation and it's called the death meditation, and we have amber here who's going to be drumming and that drumbeat that she is expert in creating for us is going to excite the fate of waves in our brain and that's gonna help us get into a state of consciousness and drop into a state of consciousness that we would normally be ableto access if we're just sitting at home said everyone get it all right, so take a long deep breath and make yourselves comfortable everybody uncross your legs on cross your arms but before you do anything, I want you to reach stone and find something to write with you're going to need a piece of paper and something to write with at the ready so that you can jot down any thoughts or insights that occur during this process. I'd also encourage you to have kleenex at the ready so if you would mind passing that around, everyone take a couple just in case so that you're prepared and you feel like you're cared for okay? All right, everyone take a long, deep breath and what I'm gonna actually ask you to do is your take your tongue and stick it at the top of the roof of your mouth when you're inhaling. The reason I'm asking you to do this is because that point on the top of your mouth is an acupressure point and then so you breathe in through your abdomen let your abdomen like go like that pooch out and when you exhale, exhale very slowly and deliberately is if you're through your mouth as if you're exhaling through a long straw okay and take your time you don't have to breathe it anybody's pace but your own but breathing is key into getting into the state of relaxation okay so again uh everyone at home if you're just turning in and when they give you a disclaimer this is an intense exercise and if you are being treated for any emotional issues or mental issues is not the meditation to do with this moment go back and do it later I can always do it later all right so it's everyone ready take a long deep breath again this is less than thirteen which is what really matters the most all right so we're going to start close your eyes take a long deep breath and close your eyes you obviously can open them when it's time to jot something down I encourage you to write any insights that come up any emotions that come on and we're going to start listen to the beat of the drum notice there's going to be feelings of energy around your head feel that drift down to your shoulders down your arms throughout your fingers feel it flow down your abdomen settle in your abdomen down your leg slowly anchoring in your feet today is the last day you will spend on this earth because today is the day that you're going to die I'm gonna guide you through the meditation of your death we're gonna count down the very last hours of your life here on earth you're going to feel your life force fading out of your body and as it does, things are gonna get really crystal clear issues are going to come up feelings emotions are gonna come up regrets are going to come up apologies you should have received but you never did are gonna come up things that you should have said hurts that you caused that you never addressed they're going to feel them all it's all going to flash in front of your eyes all the pain that you caused all the pain that you received on all the joy that you experienced ever notebooks ready take a long deep breath through your abdomen placing your tongue at the roof ear mouth a cz you exhale through a long straw focus on anything that comes up for you anything at all it's really essential free to notice what comes up what feelings and absorb those feelings and look at me meaning behind those feelings might feel a little shaky way feel a little awkward but write it down something comes up just take a quick no you'll drop right back into the meditation if you become overwhelmed with emotion go just stay open to it something has already entered your head some regrets some trust pass has already entered your consciousness some decision that you wish you would have made but today it's too late because today is the last day you have on this earth if you feel overwhelmed be open if you feel tears welling up be open to them if you feel fear being open to the fear you feel shame you lupin to the shame and name the shame named the fear writing down what was the frustration what losses have you suffered count first loss count the other loss most recent loss lose your own case feel what you feel thiss isn't easy thiss takes courage thing takes a lot of courage but stick with it steady resolved stay present be in the moment there's a reward for taking this journey there's a reason for this ancient practice don't fight your feelings you fight your feelings and you'll fight your progress don't fight your feelings or you'll fight your purpose you could remain skeptical if you want teo but the fact is this we're all going to die we're all going to die none of us are getting out of your alive and your day has come so experiment with this you've given yourself the opportunity to come this far to gainey's insights what's coming up right it down what feelings if you are you feeling if you haven't written something down write it down it's time to begin take a long deep breath feel all the energy around you feel all the energy's swirling within feel your heart beating I understand you have twelve hours to live no more than that you're going to be dead in less than one day so what would you do if you had one day to live which screen would you cry would you call your love ones what would you say way would you say the meeting wass would you learn you better do it now because you're not going to see another sunrise you're going to be dead before the sun rises again there's no escape no one's going to escape what does that feel like way never get another ring in another new year never gonna celebrate an anniversary way never going to celebrate a birthday again breathe deeply through your abdomen exhale slowly what were your plans what were your hopes what were your dreams what expectations did you have of yourself maybe you wanted to experience true love but she never did maybe you wanted to raise a child but you never did maybe you really wanted to have a family you never did and it's too late because the opportunity is gone now that's what it like that it was like to feel like you were dying so imagine it getting along dee ask yourself some questions what promises did you make the other people that you did not keep what promises did you make to yourself that you did not keep do you promise to take better care of yourself did you promise tio care for your health that you promised to spend more time with your loved ones did you promise that you would stop that bad habit write it all down write down what you promised and you didn't deliver on think about all those true feelings that you have shoved down your entire life because you can't shove them down anymore there are bubbling up they're spilling out and you gotta write him down how was your precious life was it short because now you have twenty minutes to live so what do you wish you'd said what do you wish teo what did you just say teo each person you loved what do you need to say to each person who hurt you who tried to destroy you what do you need to say to who before you die you better think you better write it down because there's not much time clock is ticking so say what you need to say or write it down so that they can read it when you're gone write it down because you'll wish you would've completely open and honest because this is your very last chance to be completely open and honest breathe deeply death is nearing you're on your way out so what are you still holding on to let it go? All you have left to do now is to tell the truth all you have left to do now is to record the truth your last dying words why are you waiting for think about all those inhibitions that have stopped you all those false beliefs that have held you back all that self limiting behavior that killed your dreams that made you choose bad relationships that allow people take advantage of you all those rules that you've been following unconsciously that somebody else imposed upon you what were they where you're holding on to that think about all of those expectations that you're trying to live up tio didn't really want teo think about all those limitations now it's not too late to write them down but there is nothing you could do that's all there's left to do so do it now do you feel the death coming closer that's breeding closer teo actually pretty close to your face right behind you in the back of your neck there's no escape do you feel it? There's no escape take a long deep breath three abdomen bree through nose and savor and feel all that pain because that basically that's all you've got left to experience is all that pain and regret did you love who loved you feel those final feelings and savor them? Because maybe this is the first time you've actually really appreciated the depth of your feelings maybe that's the first time you've been this honest with yourself because uh I've never done this before till look you're time is near and every moment is rush is why I've been lying about all this stuff yourself for so long why have you got in your own way way what was it that made you get in your own way, way well, you might as well spill it because deaths just stripping away all of your pretense all of your lies all of your excuses and all of your fears that you held onto it but you don't have any more time to entertain a lot of these delusions you don't have any more time left even say what you want to say to love one so saying now write it down now you could be honest now that's starting to touch you starting get chills you're seeing very clearly right now things that you have should have changed long ago fears you should have faced long ago things you should have said long ago obstacles you should've walked around long ago people who suck the life out of you should have got rid of long ago but you tolerated it hoping but knowing that things were not going to change I'm gonna continue to do that now because death is breathing down your neck and there's no more time what needs to dies that you could really live all those fears and regrets so embrace the truth write it down death's coming staring in your face it's killing you that always wins and always will win take another breath and treasure it because it's one of your last you feel your extremities coming getting cold thinking your loved ones think of their faces you're never gonna see them again write down your last words your loved ones right down to your last chance done your pen done your pen now there's no more time close your eyes take one last deep breath your heart's beating faster your vision is fading there's no more time your heart is struggling your heart's giving up that's seeping into your body but your heart stops no all of your vital signs have stopped functioning and your heart has stopped breathing has stopped but I'm gonna give you an opportunity to make a choice death's gonna make you give you an opportunity to make a choice his death has the power to drag you away right now and let your body disintegrate into ashes and house was doing sweeping you away there's no more breath to take the air around you where you once lie it's twinkling with light all the nasty depres exhaled out of your lungs every fear is crumbled all the disappointments tony matter anymore and now you realize death stare ally fill in all those empty spaces that you wanted to live anew by taking another deep breath take a long deep breath you just got another chance I feel life seeping into your body fuel the energy moving up on your feet that grew cold warming moving up your legs body was cold blood is flowing again and light is rushing down through your head and spreading throughout here entire body now what dreams do you wanna live? Write that down you see a vision of the life you like write it down do you feel a sense of purpose capture it now write it down it's no time to waste just like there wasn't time to waste before breathe and breathing deeply your abdomen exhale through your mouth now you know what really matters and you can embrace it you can let all that be yes die keep these insights close to you let them remind you of what's really important and what really doesn't matter is now you can have an opportunity to choose consciously and choose deliberately what are you going to dio toe honor this new precious life it's been restored tio write it down as a reminder if you don't write it down it's gonna fade away your heart's starting to beat stronger take a long, deep cleansing breath you've demonstrated tremendous amount of courage I see what you can weather do you see what you can survive you see what you can endure you have a heart and and you're going to use it to move past what held you back in the past you have a clear set of rules you're gonna live by now a clearer set of expectations keep this near to you as you continue on your journey, your hero's journey and keep a solemn promise to yourself that you will never lose this gift again. Thiss gift of truth you've met your inner guide you will never feel lost again hey, take a long, slow, deep breath in through your nose put your tongue on the roof your mouth exhale like you're bringing through a long straw okay, open your eyes slowly stretch. Take a long stretch and whatever stretch feels comfortable to you if you want to stand up, go ahead and stand up, shake your body check it out. No. What did I do that? Okay, I'm gonna tell you a little story if you haven't heard it already. The thing that ignited my, uh, deciding to actually go for what I wanted and took me some time was they worked with a woman whose name was angela and angela was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. And she was in stage for permission from stage four breast cancer. And I also worked with another woman who were the same age. This is this is maybe fifteen years ago, and I turned to each of them when we were kind of bitching and moaning about our jobs, and I said to one, maria, if you could do anything you wanted and you were guaranteed success now that you've got this second chance because you've just recovered from, you know, cancer and your written permission you know, what are you going to dio and here's what she said to me? She said I don't know said really you just pretend you know like, just play with me here she's no, I really don't know I turned to angela and I said, angela, what? Wouldyou dio and she said I would love to be an interior designer and I said, angela, when I should get up and go quit and go be an interior designer and angela said to me, you know what? I'm just too afraid I'm too afraid and that was an epiphany for me because these two women had just been granted a pass they just dodged a bullet one didn't know what she wanted to dio and she really wasn't interested in exploring it at that moment in one was just too afraid and she had the resource is her husband made very good money she didn't have dependent children she had no like even if that was the case she could have made it work because she was very capable and intelligent so that was my brush with death and it was that brush with death that made me realize what am I doing sitting here bitching and moaning and continuing on this same sorry path when I too have a choice. So this is one of the reasons we did the death meditation and I want to check in with you now and talk to you a bit about what came up for you, what insights you gained and what clarity. And before we do that can you just give a little round of applause for our drum marie wear when we find him? And what website? Amber field music. Dot com amber field music dot com so thank you very much. So I feel like some to start with you and go in order. So what came up for you? What? What were what? Things were really vivid the need for my family to be around me. I want to just bring them all here. I want them all, everyone I've ever everyone who's ever loved me and I love them. I just want to gather them all in room. Okay, that's pretty cool. What else came up? I wanted to apologize to someone that I hurt a non family member that I hurt. Okay, give me a third one. He would please whatever you want to share. I just wanted teo I want to talk to each and everyone I'm leaving behind I just want to talk to them right connect with each one, so we all assumed that we've got time left but the fact is we don't know how much time we have left so what do we do in letting fear rule us or self sabotaging behavior or lies what are we doing? We're not getting out of here right? So emails to make the best of it so are you gonna do those things felix you gather your family apologized here someone you hurt and yes talk to people okay kathy um what came up for you what was one thing that came up for you while I was sad for my family sat of your family okay, so I wanted to transfer my strength to them you know what I've learned her what I've suffered in that they'll be ok could you transfer that strength a bunch of people mary yeah I hope so okay, what else came on that I need to tell everybody that the most of their childhood photos were still in my car peter mother on where to find them so they know what they look like when they were little any default like country it was e well, I just didn't I mean they're not like named or filed and I just wanted to make sure that they knew what they looked like they were little I'm just really bad at that you just can't leave your family with up photos I'm you know I don't have a lot of fear around death for myself well, did you have any regrets when you did you revisit any regrets that you may be things that you're living now that well I think just because I imagine some pretty exciting things are in store for me and I tried to imagine actually now they're not anymore this is it done you know? So how satisfied am I that that's like all I achieved I mean I'm happy with what I've achieved and I know there's a lot in what I've achieved but there's so much more still to dio and so many things I want to do and explore and um the impact I think I can still make in the world so doing what I do or through what I do okay was it was this a impactful exercise? Yes don't really know what's right? Yeah well it's an ancient practice for a reason then what was one thing that came up for you? Okay, so I don't want to sound hard, but I don't think you know what? Just tell the truth is it's all the matters okay? So hee, I have a lot of regrets I didn't feel sad about leaving anybody although um because it's something felix and I talked about right before you did that um I did have another pain school moment come up okay and there was this really and then some names and then um there was this I had to write I just write it down when you were talking there was this clarity around you know, this pattern of abandonment and that the less than that is self responsibility and that that's really important in my life and that, um choosing people I love is my own self responsibility okay like that's a big thing and that I have to sort of own all areas of my life okay? So respond being responsible for christ and that's the abandonment that's an abandonment okay, um is there anything you're you don't regret anything and and and I don't have tio no and I didn't have anyone that I really want to say goodbye to it was sort of relieved okay, but I mean that was just that one moment okay? All right. Yoni what came up for you? Well, in the beginning I felt really calm like I was in a meditative state it's the drum helps, doesn't it? A drum really helped and it made me feel very light and then transformed. And then when you started talking about you know right down how you feeling? I thought I should call everyone I know I want to have my family around and I want to tell them to be fearless and to go for it, you know, to live the life they dream and um I also wanted to tell them that I welcome and live each day to the fullest, so I know it sounds very cliche, but just you felt that way. Yeah, I felt that way, and I wanted to make sure they do that. You're gonna tell them that? Yes. Okay, so, john, what came up for you during this exercise? Um, three things. Okay, uh, I let someone down who I really care about, and I want to apologize to them, okay? And try and repair that relationship, and I also wanna make decisions that I'm proud of because I know when I'm making decisions that I'm not proud of, um, that I don't feel good about I know I'm compromising. Did you visit a decision that you you can say it or not, but yeah, I did. Well, it was you mind sharing it, are you? I mean, it was actually a lot of different things, like I've made a lot of decisions where I know like, I'm making a compromise, and I don't want to compromise on certain things. I don't compromise on my own dreams, basically, um, so do you think when you were brought back to life, was that one of the resolves I'm not gonna compromise on my own dreams more when I was dead? I mean that's just when I've experienced more insights was before I came back to life okay, yeah, it was like when the opportunity was slipping away that's when everything think very clear then and then when the when new opportunities presented its like uh it's not really yeah so that itself is a dangerous some pattern like thinking I think that way because you actually we don't know what is lurking so why not live it to its fullest and full of is what is what it is you can't compare yourself to others this is what is for you all right you said um did you say a couple of things came and just to be more fearless you're acting that in spite of fear act in spite of fear isn't it interesting that the previous exercise said to deal with fear yeah it's like the opposite of living in a way right yeah because it paralyzes you but you're not living if you're if you're in paralysis, right? So living fearlessly and apologize and let me say anything do not compromise not compromise can you all relate to that most like those insights do you feel like this exercise gives you a bit of resolve the living fearlessly and not compromising what we're gonna do? Um I know felix said you said you're gonna apologize to some but you know you could do so you're gonna do some things have a heart as it relates to your own purpose here as much as you have to find it what you think you're going to do differently as a result of this exercise what I think is what's what's a priority in your enterprise now record a lot of the things that have transpired in my readings and sharing with people okay travel around the country speak do readings for people but also share my life because I have so much written out and just hidden away wait when that could be helped that could help people right because you get tremendous insight stirring that our myself too yeah and for yourself too so you could share them okay kathy what do you think you might do differently now how do you think this mate adjust the trajectory of your enterprise or what's changed what's come into focus uh probably trying to find and create more meaning in the projects that I do with the audience that I reach have a great school about that probably alleviate any concern about your aircraft not being taken seriously too right? It was grounded in sincere meaning. Okay, how about you, jen? You think anything's gonna change as a result of this in terms of your enterprise and your focus um I'm feeling much clearer and less afraid you're less afraid and clearer I think thing yeah and I do feel like even though I can't uh name it with you like I do feel like there somewhere I can be of service and myself responsibility okay, you know I mean there's some lessons there that I've been through okay? And if I get some clarity around that that's great okay yoni I think that I'm just going to be more fearless in my approach to the things that I've been afraid of and that threw that example that'll happen to everyone around me okay, yeah you'll just show us anything you could tell people not to be fearless sir, could you go be it and show them how to do it and rub off on him exactly? And john, what do you think's gonna change in terms of your focus with your enterprise with monthly experiments? I'm just coming I'm going to go after it with all my energy would have never done that's pretty cool that's worth the price of admission right there. All right, you guys were all really, really brave and so I'm gonna thank you for being so brave and going through this lesson lesson thirteen what really matters most comes into sharp focus when you face death and we're gonna next movement next we're gonna move into thank god is less than fourteen which is where's your joy and I give you three action items before we wrap up this segment I'm going to ask you to take good care of yourself. First and foremost, give yourself some time to rest and to rejuvenate and, you know, mark your progress. Celebrate your progress, celebrate your getting through this look at your calendar and mark off the next lessons that you could show up and reach out and get some help and some support. You can go, too. If you don't have anybody that you feel like you can connect with, go find a friend at, join dot artists who thrives dot com and asked to join the mastermind group. Just reach out to someone you already know. Thank you again for all of your bravery and all your courage, it's, very inspiring what each one of you said and join us for our next lesson, which is where we find our joy. Thank you.