Where's Your Joy?
welcome back to creative life. Fulfill your creative purpose with Andrey. That's me. We just finished a per day intense lesson. And that was less than 13. What really matters most? Where we actually to practice an ancient Tibetan meditation called the Death Meditation. And now we're going to move into lesson 14 which is kind of the opposite, in a way. And that's where your joy. All right, you guys already. All right, Rachel, back to life. All good to go. Resuscitated breathing, heart beating. All right, so it does us no good to just look at the pain and not look at the joy because the joy, although I would argue, doesn't necessarily illuminate our values quite as well as the examination of her joy. It's still critically important because we obviously want to do more of that right? Have more joy. So, um, the reason we know Joyce because we know sorrow, right? Everything else to stand in contrast. So now that you've filter sorrow and you felt your pain, we're gonna move into this next ex...
ercise Is next exercise about joy and, um, the instant your audience is a little advantage of those viewing. They've done some of the exercises out of this workbook, and they did the exercise where I asked them to actually examine the three most joyful, joyful times in their life and describe the feelings that they experienced in those joyful times in their life. So, thank God we get into this exercise so much more fun, but isn't your Are you, like, ready to feel joy after that? Like, really feel, really? Go there. Really appreciate it. All right, So I know everyone did their homework because I checked to make sure, um, so I was starting over here. Must switch it up to start with John. So, John, what was the most joyful time in your life? Um, I don't know if it's the most joyful. Just bring his pick one. Whatever pops into your head. Yeah. The thing that popped into my head was a day that it was during one of my experiments that I was doing. And it was a work related experiment where I was stopping work at noon every day and then my real job at noon and the pursuing whatever I wanted to after that and I went to the beach and it was it was a month. I don't remember what month it was, but it was a month. It's not normally warm and sunny. There's a warm and sunny day. And I was at a really nice speech all by myself just relaxing in the sun. And I remember thinking that this not only does this is better than being at work. Um, but it was so I'm gonna stop you there. So instead of what you were thinking, so in that moment the sun's beating down on you. You're not working. You're hanging out by yourself. Enjoy your own company in this space and time to do that. What's the one feeling of? What's the one feeling that came into your consciousness when you recall that moment just being present? There wasn't anywhere else. I wanted to be okay. Those exactly wanted to be great. And what's the second thing that described your how you felt? I felt free, so present and free, okay. And was the third feeling happy, happy present, free and happy. Okay, Any lesson that came out of that value freedom. And I mean yeah, biggest those the biggest last time was like, Wow, this is really important. Before you did this exercise, did you have Did you realize how much you value freedom? I knew I valued it, but for some reason, something crystallized. In that moment, I was like, This is so this is even more important than I realized before. So the exercise gave you some insight in perspective that you didn't have before. And it really doesn't take that long, right? I mean, these exercises air truly designed for the busy on the go kind of student at creative life. They're actually digestible. They're very doable. One exercise is, uh, you know, 30 minutes, maybe 60 90 minutes, tops. So that's pretty good at this. Pretty good thing to know about yourself. Going forward. Yeah, right was the second most joyful time that you condone. Recall that pops into your head. The thing I wrote down my homework was as climbing a mountain in Peru, and it was a really bad storm. And for a long time it was like it was horrible, actually. And some people in my climbing party, like seem like they might die. And I remember for real die because of the storm or because of the altitude, the person had high altitude pulmonary oedema. If you go too high, you go above like we're above 19,000 feet in elevation. The body can't react. So let me just get this straight. So you're staring down death during don't. You felt the most joy and right after that. So we have been climbing for, like, 19 hours or something like that. And we're on our way down. And I remember the moment where I knew I was gonna live. And in that moment, if the first feeling Waas relief relief, second feeling I mean, I saw a jeep and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Like, I'm I felt joy. Joy. Yeah. Okay. Relief, joy. And probably exhaust him in exhaustion. Okay. You feel any pattern in this? You see any pattern? I don't have to force that. I just want todo Okay. All right. So, um, go into the next exercise and see if you see a pattern. If you don't see a pattern, it's fine. It's just very instructive. If you do recognize a pattern. Okay. So, Yoni, what is the most joyful time in your life? The most joyful town was the birth of my first child, and I think a lot of mothers would say that it's transformative and there's really no other experience that compares to it. And in that moment you felt what emotion? Love, love and second emotion, strength, strength in the third emotion nurturing, nurturing. Okay, hurry. So let's go to the second most joyful time in your life. I think it was the day I graduated from college undergraduate school. So you graduated from college and a little bit of back story on it. Is that you? First, I was the first person in my family to go to college and to graduate from college and to graduate. Okay. And what's the feeling? That first feeling that comes to mind? You think about your hand of that diploma or whatever The moment waas I felt like proud that I had accomplished that because I had worked very hard. I worked while I went to college, proud, very proud. And number two free. Free. Yeah, like the world was my oyster not free because amount of school but free because of my affection. Yeah, I could do anything I wanted to. If I could do that, I could do anything. Okay. In the third, um, happy, happy, happy. Okay. And you see any pattern recognition between the first event in the second event? Um, I like accomplishing things that are challenging because actually, when I was pregnant, I wasn't sure about becoming a mother at all. I thought, you know, this really wasn't for May. I worked right up until my son was born and had hired a nanny and thought I was going back to work full time. And yet the joy that mother had brought me transformed May and the same thing with, um school. You know, you can transform yourself, you can do anything you want. And so the freedom of being able to make those choices is definitely so. The lesson you learned is that I'm a pretty strong person, and I can do anything that I want to dio including, um, not procrastinating s enough being a perfectionist. That's pretty light fare compared to some of the other things that you've endured, right? Yes. Okay. Just to give a little perspective. Thank you. Okay. So, Jen, most joyful time in your life that you recall, um, eso landing in Bali and living there for 2.5 years. So in that moment you land in Bali, you're there. What's the first emotion that strikes you? So it's not that the time I landed its maybe three weeks later. Okay. Three weeks later. Yeah. Where are you? I'm at somebody's house, Okay? At somebody's house. And you're feeling, um, completely like Eddies. And he's at ease and actually, like, explain it like, just release Released, like this spontaneous release. Okay. Like spontaneity like Okay. And what else least anyway? Spontaneity and and freedom and freedom, OK. And what was the second most joyful time? Um, I was in India with a friend driving on a highway. He pulled over because he saw all these women and colorful saris, and we ended up in a wedding in an Indian wedding. And, like, Monsoon Indian wedding, Yeah. Wow. Off like, totally spontaneous in the middle of the day off side of the road. And I had my camera had two cameras and they I mean, these were, like, really humble Villagers. They were so excited to see that they had some of them and never had their picture taken. And we're part of the ceremony And we taught me to dance and we videoed and photographed it. And how did you feel? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Like a dream. Like total spontaneous spontaneity or the convention that the last one spontaneous, what was the other feeling? Um, like, connected, connected and energetic and energetic. Do you start to see a pattern? Yeah. What is it? So I like spontaneity. You like spontaneity? Yeah. And I and I like feeling connected to people. It gives me this release and the lesson you learned from the first joyful moment. Waas. You like to feel connected? What is that? I don't put words in your round. Oh, so from arriving and but like, yeah, what is the lesson you learned from that? Like, how much joy you gain from that? What did that teach you? Um, that actually, I, you know, honestly, like I do pretty well without a plan like I'm taking care of. I really learned the big lesson was really were really taken care of. Like, you just have to relax and ease into wherever you are, because actually, it's where you're supposed to be. It's all about your attitude. We're really okay. That's a huge lesson. We just, like, pause for a moment and take in that wisdom. But do you say that again? So in life, really, it is like we're always taking care of. And no matter where you are, it's where you're supposed to be. And it's really about your attitude and being at ease with yourself. Okay, how about the second incident when you were caught up in the wedding? Would What was the what did you learn from that joyful moment? Sounds awesome. Don't know. Would you learn about yourself? Um, I you know, I learned. Actually, I can communicate without language. Really? Well, I have a whole another way of communicating, like just that connection with people in a happy event where you don't need to speak the same language, body language. It was a lesson that you can connect with people. Yeah, and you don't even have to speak their own language. And I have to be from their village, right? You don't even have to wear a sari. You could wear jeans and still connect with um, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's about emotion. It's about connecting through emotion and feeling right and sharing that with it together. Did you learn something that's important? You learn something? It's important to you from this. Yeah. And what was that? Yeah, when I get a lot of energy from from that connection, when I am feeling spontaneous and I connect with people actually outside that that I have nothing in common with because we're sharing kind of. Ah, we're sharing a moment like an emotional moment. So what if you intentionally created that in your life? I would be much happier and taking more self responsibilities. What? Did everyone hear? Happier. Could you do that? I can. I can I don't know how, but I can. I can just to really not know how you know. I know. I think you did it a few times already. Know you could do it. You could design your life around that. Yeah, if you wanted to. You have a choice. You could make that choice. Yeah. Not getting out of here alive. Yeah. So is that something you would like to do with your roommate? Whatever time you have left? Yes, it was Yeah. I would love to. Yes. To live that way is actually much truer to who I am. So are you ready to do that? Yeah, I do that. Okay, so I signed up for this court, okay? It's I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Exactly. I'm already taken care of. Exactly. As far as I'm sure has already happened. We did the death meditation. It's done. It's fine, right? Right. You have to balance my checkbook. Just balance your checkbook. Yeah, No, for it is like, What's kind of interesting when you look back at some of the big, um, big things? You've done big hurdles to overcome our big accomplishments. If you look back at the actions you actually had to take, were they really that crazy? Hard or complicated? They're mostly trust based in yourself or someone you mean. It was mostly my experience in listening everybody else's. It's about having a little trust and faith in yourself to do it for take the first step. That's That's the So I think it's too. I think it is trust. I think it's two things. Here's what I think it ISS. This is just my experience. I think it's absolutely trust, and I think also when you realize that placing your trust in others is not really gonna get you where you need to go. That trust has to come back to yourself. You have to trust yourself first. Thank you very much, John, for that giggle smirk over there because you're learning that one. And then I think the other thing, too. And actually this I'm gonna get credit again to Craig Swanson because he said something at dinner last evening about the fact is, you just have to want it bad enough. Um, that's an excellent point. And I can't believe I designed this whole journal and plus the fact that you need to want it bad enough. Yeah, and you'll move heaven and earth if you want it bad enough because you all have moved heaven and earth when you want it bad enough. Yeah. If you want it bad enough, you'll make it happen. Yeah, so thanks, Craig. That's an important one, isn't it? Yeah. If you know you interview athlete, they interview athletes, like, come up through amazingly challenging circumstances, or people lifted themselves out of abuse and poverty and become successful and impactful. And, you know, like the list goes on and on. What's the one thing in common. All the people who have actually achieved the impossible. What is it that is always there? They wanted about that. They wanted it and they were willing to give up other things in return. They were. They stop watching TV, probably right. Maybe they had to make. They had to make some sacrifices. They had to give something up to gain that and like we can do. All these exercises all live Long Day. And you can gain all insights that you want to gain. And you can understand what your purpose is. You can understand what your mission is. Understand your value proposition. What target market? You're gonna serve it all that all your ducks could be in a row and you could have an amazing strategy already to go. But if you don't want it bad enough, it's not gonna happen. And here is the other point that he made actually think it was. It was Jerry Seinfeld who made this point. And, um, what you have to understand is there are other people who want what you want, and it's not a flat rate, the cost, that peptic the payment that you're gonna have to make the cost of getting what you want. It's not a flat menu rate, it's an auction. And who was ever willing to bid the highest? They're the ones who are going to get it. That's true now. You know, it's more true in situations where there are very few positions. Like, I think this analogy, we're talking about comedians. They're gonna be so many successful comedians. The good news for you guys is you are crafting your own opportunity that's unique and a new market. So in that scenario, when you come up with such a completely new and fresh value proposition, he actually don't have to compete. But you do in the same way. But you do have to want it bad enough. Doesn't make sense. So depending on what you want, if there's only a few positions, then you're gonna have to outbid. Hm. But if you can create enough you enough unique value, then you won't have to swim with the sharks. You can swim in a blue, clear ocean, so it just depends on again what you're trying to attain. Um, and that's frankly why I didn't want to take the traditional path in the art world because I don't want I don't want to compete. It's exhausting. I just wanted to Curry just wanted pain and get paid. So I went the other way. I don't want to vie for position within the art world. So ask yourself along the way, you know? Are you procrastinating or do you want it bad? You know? Or is it your perfection itis kicking in? Or is it that you just don't want it bad enough? Is it? Is it your fear kicking in or is it that you just don't want it? You just don't want it bad enough, so just kind of be This is why this is such an honest exploration of your emotions because you can't make decisions and take clearheaded action. If you don't know what emotion is shaping your decision making, that's why later on in January, we're gonna have Dr George Pratt fun whose amazing psychotherapist has written many, many books, and he's gonna actually give us some real practical tools to access our subconscious mind, which is running the show. Okay, So, Cathy, most joyful time in your life, Um, after losing her first daughter the next year I was pregnant with my son and when I went in to deliver him, um, I was taken in for an emergency Caesarean because things weren't working. And even though I was awake for it was still pretty traumatic. Um, so a couple years later, when I was pregnant with my daughter, my other daughter, um, I was asked to make a sign off on the checklist about having, um, vaginal birth after Caesarean, which is very risky. Whatever. And I I'm like, I don't want to have a necessary And I hated it was for me. It's awful, because a joyful time waas choosing to not do that and having making the choice making the well, it was actually the delivery. OK, but that brought about that very. And so the delivery was the most joyful time. Yeah, OK, so I'm But it was things like, I want you to stay out of the story very deliberately doing this not to cut you off, but so that we we get the fruit of this exercise. So the joyful moment is your deliver. It's a healthy baby. Is that right? It was the actual delivery, the actual delivery delivery. She's alive. She's safe. Okay. And what was the one feeling that you felt safe was First, they were safe. Okay, um validated, Validated, making the decision. And it worked out. Yo, you're in control and just overjoyed, overjoyed as you would be. Okay. All right. What was the second joyful time, which was before that, Um, just the courting period for my husband. And I was there one moment. Was there one particular moment when you were courting? That was one of your favorite memories, I guess. Our first kiss, your first kiss. So you had your first kiss. And the feeling is what's the first feeling? Oh, it was just fabulous because we had just been friends for a long time. Okay? Okay. Every day, hanging out together, it was a feeling fabulous. It was just fabulous. What was the second feeling? When do you get off duty? That was not feeling that. Well, anticipation. Anticipation. Okay. In the third feeling, um, around the kiss. Feeling Yeah. Um I was in love and you're in when I was in love. Okay. Yeah. When you did this exercises for exploring the joyful moments of your life, did you see any patterns. Um, feelings safe. Feeling safe? Yeah. Was a pattern. Yeah. What did you learn about yourself in the first lesson? When you decided you made the choice to deliver your child naturally. But it was my choice. Okay? And you learned a lesson? Waas What? Um, it's all about believing, and I don't trusting yourself, I guess. Did you learn to trust yourself? Is that the lesson? Yeah, I think so. Okay. So it sounds like you're a little fuzzy on it. Just think about it a little bit more. Okay? Okay. That's really what really comes to me is is with her birth waas when everybody else was saying it's 50 50 could go either way. And I said, It just doesn't feel right to me. I really want to go this way, and I Great. So that's the story and want you to stick with. So I think was a lesson. The lesson was trust your instincts. You you should trust your instinct. I should trust my own. Okay, You should. Because everybody else has their own lessons. So you're gonna you learn to trust your own instincts. Your instincts are accurate. Okay? Anything. The second lesson with your husband, Your husband? Not your first house of your second husband, who have been married to for 25 years. First kiss the lesson from that joyful moment. Waas What? And I felt respected. Like now how you felt the lesson of the lesson in Yeah. What dawned on you? Did you learn about yourself? Oh, that there's hope after there we go. Yeah, that there's hope. There's hope. Yeah, Okay. You see a pattern? Sure. Do you see how this works for some people is a really simple formula. Okay, Last but not least, it's Felix's turn. Felix's most joyful moment was in college, my freshman year, auditioning for the production of the Wiz of the big campus production. And I had no prior dancing or singing experience in that forum as a musical. And that was the moment Lomax moment was when I looked at the roster of who made it and my name was right there. And what did you feel? Exhilaration, Exhilaration what outside excitement and relief. And really, I worked so hard I went through three rounds of auditions. I made the first cut, made the second cut. What did you learn about yourself. In that moment, I learned that when I did the things that I was afraid of, I the most I I proved to myself that I could overcome these obstacles that I previously thought. I don't know if I can do this. So the things that were most fearful for me were the things that I have the greatest joy. Oh, that's a good one. Okay, It was the second most joyful time. Second most joyful time. Waas meeting my first love. Yeah, and having a 12 year relationship with this person. Do you remember the moment where you felt the most joy with your first love? Driving back to the airport, driving my friends of the airport and feeling a sense of connection that I've never felt before? So I knew I would see this person again. So you felt connection. And it was the second emotion. Second emotion Waas, Joy, joy, connection and joy and loved and love. And what did you learn about yourself from that joyful time? Where would you learn about life at that? From that joyful time, I learned that I could be myself and be accepted and feel what everyone else was. feeling that I felt like I was missing out on you could feel love and you could be yourself and feel love. Yes. How does that play into your overall mission and purpose? It's what drives me. Okay. I was with that lesson that you can be yourself be accepted and be loved. If you look at it, really say that's the lesson you've learned. And we look at your first interview when you first got here a week ago. How does that shift what you were thinking or feeling during that first interview? I can see where my I can see what was blocking me and why. Yeah, Now I'm able to maneuver around that. Oh, yeah, yes, but yeah, it doesn't have to stop you, right? For delay. You I could just climb right over it, right? Just like you did when you got into the to the show. Yes, but you're afraid to dio you've never done before. They're saying like that in front of people and danced in front of people like that. And essentially, what are you gonna be doing when you take on this? Bigger? Higher? You know this this mantle of a larger platform. I mean, you're gonna be, in a way, singing and dancing in front of a lot of people just the way you are. So I am. Do you see how this pattern do you see it Working? Yes, it is pretty cool, huh? And I made it all up. Well, you asked me to teach it. No, really, this is actually, you know, like it's just it actually came out of working with artists over the years and my own experience. I just you know, I just try it. And it comes with lessons that were simple and digestible for people on the phone for 50 minute increments. So this is what I came up with, and it seems to be working. So, you know, I hope it's working for you and hope you're gaining insights and getting a deeper understanding of your purpose. A deeper conviction around your mission, maybe some hints of your unique nests, your uniqueness and how that informs your value proposition and how you can be of service to others that it's not about you, it's about them. And when you make it about them, then it will be about you that you couldn't solve a problem and you can alleviate the pain in other people's lives. And that will make for a viable business. Okay, so our next lesson coming up is lesson number 15 which is the remembering process. We just finished with less than 14. Which is where is your joy? I mean, encourage you, all of you, to do this. Exercise is a wonderful exercise. And, um, don't do it alone. Reach out. Go to join dot artists who thrive dot com and asked to join the mastermind group or call a friend and have fun and share this exercise. Where's your joy? Thank you very much for all your contributions.