Designing a Purposeful Life
Sometimes the stretch goals or even a small goal is genuinely unattainable. How do you, as a coach, really coach people to really refine their goal and be more realistic? I just give you a flippant example. If I was to say, dori, I'm gonna be the president of the united states legally. I could never I can never achieve that goal. That's a flippant example. Oh, no, let's, take that exam. But can you really raining and people and make it realistic so they can achieve it? Okay, so j k o says that he could never be president of the united states. I love that one because I use that one sometimes for those of us in the states here, especially in california, because we had the terminator as our governor. And and I use that he's austrian born. So jae ko is not born in the u s s that's. The assumption that you're telling me is that true said he was born in tennessee. I just double checking on that one. All right, so so he's saying it may not be realistic and relevant for him or realistic that h...
e could be president of the united states. And how would I coach somebody around that? Well, first of all, I'm gonna as coaches as best year, yet coaches we're only there to help you attain what you say you really want to dio what matters most to you which is your best year yet plan we're not there to judge or to add it or to bring in our biases but let's go back to the question that j k o had because he's living in the box of reality that says I can't because I'm foreign born and I say that's not what we're working on first that's the stretch goal what we're working on first is how to change bring in an amendment to the u s constitution yes that's the first goal that's what we're gonna work on we're going to work on is they're an amendment and how long does it take to get an amendment in what's it take to get an amendment and what are we going to dio to allow foreign borns to be the president of the united states who am I to say if it's really his goal did that help did that show you what so I wanted I wanted to shuttering now because what was the implication if I said I wanted to be the queen of england no let's not go there you just better hope there are persons not watching go there yeah that's a great answer that's very powerful it because we're looking at if that's what you want how many of us how many of us have seen a child who says I want to be an astronaut and today we may be saying, uh I don't know do you know richard branson because I think our program has been cut quite a bit and then we're bringing out all our stuff to it no let him have what their intention is I want you to go to your intention if you're telling me you want to put and have and be in your bank account a million dollars um I'm not going to judge that but that's not is that because you know I want financial security in the amount of having a million dollar life insurance policy a million dollars in my ira a million dollars let's get it specific and then we'll start working on alright how are you going to get do that? How each month are we going to progress towards that goal it's interesting though so many of those type of goals come from that place of should that should and when again we get all tripped up when we should on ourselves I should at ten years of business have this uh I should at the age of thirty to um have a family by now. Oh wow. So to take this plan to be it to make it yours and that's that's it it is your plan you get to put on what the goals are you want even if they're stretch or even if they're, um, tangible or a little intangible on that nature processor or the opposite goals questions questions from the internet evie um I have a goal on the personal end of things and yes, you had talked about having to check in if it involves someone else, so I'm I guess my mind isn't totally worked around exactly how I want to phrase this question, but how do you set those goals when it really also involves another person being willing to do that with you? I got right so if if the goal is involving another person and and uh you're going to check in with them hey, I have a goal I have a desire and really what you're doing is you're talking about the end result and in that end result and it involves you and would you like to participate in this with me here's what I want to do this next year here's the idea here's thie in destination that I'm hoping to end up with with you now they could say yes they could say no they could negotiate right? They could negotiate and it allows you at least tow have a conversation to start the other thing that it does is it showing them your very purposeful in designing life all of this is helping you not to fall into a life, not to fall into life by default doing life by default you are designing your life this year you're doing it purposefully and with clear intention the clarity of your intention of what feels good to you so people can say no then what you might be able to do something in a different manner you may be able not to physically involved them so you suggest you want to partner with this person and bring them into a big project that you're going to do on on creative life and you want a partner and you want to collaborate and it's her that's who you're choosing and she goes that is so not on my goaless that's not what I want do you just give it up there's probably more of hers standing behind her it's like when people say I missed my ship it already came in I go there's another one right behind it coming in you may have to change what you're doing because you got to focus on who you were going to do it with when there may be a different opportunity god yeah yeah thank you. I like that one too, huh? I like that one with coaching. All right, so let's talk about the homework. Anything else from the internet before we go? Well, um there's not from the internet but we talked a little bit over the one of the breaks about when do you do your plan and how do you do it and on actually that brings up a really good point because you said you use best year yet not only with yourself but with your spouse you do one together you have one for the business tell us when the best time is to do the plan and how many times you can use it over and over again good, good uh the best time to do it is when like right now and tomorrow and the next day and the next day and the next day there is no specific time that says you have to do it on january first in february what I personally started doing my plan when I first learned it and switched over to my birthday I love doing my plan on my birthday yes erica's going yes yes yes I love making my plan on my birthday because it's a new birth year and it's a new reflection year and I take the time and I give myself either the day of my birthday or thereabouts really close to it and I use that time to create my best year yet plan and I do it year after year after year brought my husband in to do a couples plan it was an idea I had hey, we developed a new addition for businesses b y y for golf best year yet for golf all these other things oh, we could do this for education too so the organization itself has created all these slanted knishes of how to do a best year yet plan for teams not to digress to match me I've done this work with companies like wells fargo, kaiser, yahoo att and t where they bring in groups of people and we create for that department or that unit ah best year yet plan for the department for the team they all have to agree on their guidelines they all have to agree on the new paradigm it's a fascinating approach to strategic planning and it works but back to doing the couple plan I decided hey let's, try this as a couple dumb after all I worked with some some partners in a law firm and it worked for them could work for us and so we created it but you've got to agree on the guidelines you've got to agree on what the accomplishments were in, what the top ones and what you did that caused it and the disappointments all of that's an agreement and then to come up with your goals like we're doing today and today session so that we happen to do on our anniversary and then my business plan I do one solely focused on the business and so do many of my colleagues is we do one focused on the business so that we're identifying the best year yet guidelines new paradigm and our specific goals in the beginning and I do that on a calendar year, by the way, because my my business on a fiscal year but in the beginning it was a personal and business, personal and professional plan together, and as my business grew, I wanted one a complete whole separate for itself and over here now, how do you keep track of all that you dio, and we have some wonderful tools to help people do that that remember, there are corporations around the world using this and there's all these individual departments and teams with their own plan and how it cascades up so people can take a look, making sure that this is tied to this and this and this did that answer your question? I think it's great, how you highlighted the different ways that you can use it with all different situations you could do this year after year after year in all different situation, so definitely, and once you've done it, it makes it easier to do it the next year and the next year and the year after that, I have clients who come every january and get on my calendar to make sure that all I'm going to do is review their plan on we offer that in our programs, if you even go to to the best year yet dot com slash creative live landing page that specific for our creative live viewers you'll see that there are coaches in there that'll offer to review your plan to tighten it up you know we had some struggled here with the new paradigm we have a little bit of struggle here this this isn't easy it's simple and sometimes a coach needs to tighten it up for you as I've been demonstrating on some of your examples and so having having a review of that plan is good but you may not necessarily and especially with the workshop like this it creative live that you can purchase you khun do it year after year and then have a coach take a look review it tighten it up and boom you're out of the gate and living life that you're producing the results of your best year yet all right so we do have homework how burnt is everybody's brains out there it's it's uh huh yeah it takes a lot let's ah move on to our homework so your homework tonight it's to solidify your goals for each of those roles one minimum mohr is great but one minimum that's all I ask and make sure that you have goals for your major role focus the one that you answered in question seven which role did you want to break through in performance? I'm guessing you're probably going to have more than one goal for that role you're going to finish creating smart goals send your workbook there gives you some great examples helping you stay um with the specific the measurable attainable, relevant realistic and time bound you're gonna come with your list tomorrow because now the work will really happen we're goingto work it into your one page best year yet plan and there's a method to that that is just wonderful I promise wonderfulness when we get that into your page good on the homework everybody in the audience there give it thirty minutes if it takes last wonderful if it takes more don't know till it too hard remember this intuitiveness of allowing it to come through bubbling up from you should be enough and then we have coming up tomorrow we have the review of the goals that you've written from this question eight today we're going to complete your one page plan the one page plan that has everything on it that is your map that tells you what you're going to do and what this next year yet looks like we're gonna learn how to achieve the plan making your plan is enjoyable it's simple I didn't say it was easy it's simple it gets easier though year after year but the real work begins after you have that one page in hand the real work begins with how are you going to achieve it? I gave you a taste of that a little bit when we were talking about how you're going to actual right out the activities that progressive gle so we're going to get into a system and what were well known for, to making sure that your plan does produce those results and the achievements you're after. And we are going to have live coaching by founder jenny desler of best year yet. And what a treat that will be to watch your work with our in studio audience and and the lucky person in the internet that's going to be calling in and getting coached to some very specifics of their plan that that truly is a treat. Jenny's been, of course, doing this for over thirty years around the globe. She still coaches some people. I think she was talking about somebody from india last week, uh, and while she sits in her home in denver, colorado whore office there, so we do it via the internet. We have, ah terrific tool I want to introduce to you tomorrow that helps you produce these results, too.