Make It Happen with Jinny Ditzler
We are in for a treat today because this afternoon we have the founder of best year yet with us, and we're going to be talking about making it happen with live coaching. But first, let me tell you a little bit about jenny desler, the founder of best year, yet jenny created best year yet in nineteen eighty she's, the originator of the personal executive coaching industry or a coaching excuse me she's, one of the first personal and executive coaches and a woman to boot and been doing this for thirty three years. She's, the author of the bestseller your best year yet in its twentieth printing, and she's, author of the huffington post if you catch her articles online, they're just magnificent. Her husband, tim, created the best year yet business and that wonderful software system that you saw, I think he got tired of all the clients saying, can't we get off a paper and pencil? So he's been a quite an instrument in the best year yet system company and supportive of his wife jenny jenny's go...
ing to share with us today some pearls of wisdom that she's learned over the years working with thousands of clients just literally thousands and helping us make this happen in our lives so a round of applies let's welcome jenny desler, honey, nice to have you with us great and I'll leave this with you you're going to have fun watching you in the back here's my mentor I leave you in good hands thank thank you so much story I want tio start by uh saying something to dori and then to a few other people but I feel really humble when I see this list of accomplishments because they have happened as a result of the gifts I was given in the wonderful parents I had and so forth and so on some great teachers but to tell you the people of best year yet who work here as coaches wonderful people like dorrie have really brought it to life so dori this I believe we could call this a winner's cup is for you you have just been extraordinary I've known you for so many years you've been so very talented but the last two days I've I've just been astounded at how perfect you were no don't go like this I mean it good okay so also thank you to the creative life people I mean this you know you think well if she would say that she's she's standing here but but they are truly amazing from the moment that dori and again we owe to dorie the fact that we're even here doing best year yet because she's the one that found creative live and said this is a great platform for best year yet so these people are amazing michael, who has been our producer and working with us for the last two or three months and all have his team have been amazing and here's what I love, I love people who do excellent work, don't you? I mean, just I want to do everything, maybe not perfectly, but just with such excellence. And you know what beyond that, their mission is to bring education to all of us. They're giving these programs away day after day, week after week, month after month. And as I've been around in this business, I've been struck by the sense of a boy abundance that there is you get that I mean, the breakfast, the lunches, parties, whatever, it's just been a extraordinary but in their heart they have a sense of abundance. And I think we all know that that's something that we can lose sight of from time to time and to see that there's a business that not just says we believe in abundance, but really does just warms my heart. Incredibly, I also want to thank um, my husband, tim. Uh, who actually, I'm called the founder of best year yet now I'm the founder. Of the process I'm the founder of the ten questions on the first one that came up with all that I wrote the book but there would not have been the best year yet business where were it not for my husband tim he decided that's what he wanted to do me I said no no no we don't want to do anymore let's just you know chill we're getting older we don't have to do this no he said we're going to do this and he was determined nothing I said was going to make any difference so thank you to my husband tim and to all of my teachers and everybody who's made such a difference to me thank you very much now this segment is designed and I know door is giving you lots of hints along the way this section is designed to have you get from okay my plan is finished and I know some of you out there on the internet perhaps haven't finished her plan but intend to I certainly hope so how do you get from here the leap into a life I call it from I got the plan and it's so clear what are the secrets? So I may repeat some of the things that door he said but uh here's when you boil it down and this is one of my favorite things to do is to say when you boil it down what are the key problems we have to overcome the first one that was talked about at the very beginning you remember when you said when we said we're so busy it's like the hamster on the wheel do you remember there's no time or one of my favorite excuse is that I hear people say you know, I really really wanted to do my best your plan I spent so much time with it it was just amazing but I fill in the blanks ran out of time so that's the first big problem we have how do we overcome that problem? So do you remember this paradigm the way that we think the way that we think about our chances of success the way we think about our world in relationship to us it tells us what we are going to do tells us what we going to do you know if I say you know, I'd really like to go do this creative live program but I'm roofs too old I mean, who wants to look at me who wants to hear from me? You know, if if I had stuck with that paradigm which I had for a while if I had stuck with that paradigm I wouldn't have come however five said, you know what, I'm up for it then I'm here but what we're what happens get used to this thing that's what creates the results I'm too old, I don't want to do it. I'm tired, I don't g o nothing. I missed this entire experience. You know what? I was talking to dori and she's so excited about it and she's talking to me about how wonderful these people are. I'm in I'm a little nervous, but I'm in what happens. I get on the plane what happens? I have this wonderful experience that's the result I have that will always mean a lot to me now what we're going to be talking about first these air, the two biggest problems this isn't a problem. Everybody wants results, right? Everybody wants results so backing up we're going to first talk about action. What is it that keeps us from doing what we know to do? We know what to do. You guys know what to do, right? If I said give me, you know, talk to me for five minutes about what you're going to do to have your plan come true have it work, would you? No, really think about it. If I said erica, I'll give you hundred bucks. If you tell me exactly what you need to do to make your plan come true, would you be able to tell me come true, huh, yes, that's the thing we want to tap into but that that we start with the action all right, so here's a quote that I love read it and I'm going to ask you what you think the days are long but the years are short the first time I read that in gretchen rubin's book that happiness prince project I went but the days are long but the years are short and then I went oh my that is so true what does it make you think? Kelly um that if we just focus on right now we're not gonna get the big picture and all these days add up tio the years and the years keep getting shorter so do they. My grandma always told me that I was kind of a go faster when I got older and they it's already happening, right? Yeah, exactly what would make you think, erika um that we get so sick just bogged down by all the stuff going on oh, this is this push along day I've done all this stuff but then once you get to december thirty first, you look back and say, well that flew by yeah only got his two thousand fourteen how did that happen? You know they do they go with by so quickly but you give me a day and I think, wow, I'm going to get so much done today does that happen to you I'm going to get so much done today the little stuff that occurs in our life eats it up that to do lists eat it up the do the laundry whatever it is it is where did that go? Here's here's an example one of the things that I have the most trouble with I used my hand so I got to set that down one of the things I have the most trouble with is getting my huffington post articles written I am the biggest procrastinator in the world but I get up every morning or most mornings I get up and I say okay, today today I'm writing that article no kidding I'm going to write that article but first now I always meditate first so that's kind of taken care of that do my meditation practice that's something you can count on me for and then I'm going to go just let me check my email I've got the I know what I'm going to write about first I'm going to check my email and then pretty soon forty five minutes an hour I go wow you're down to twenty emails in your inbox progresses that really it's it's important? Yes it is but is it it's important? It's what really matters to me my major focus for this year is author it's really important to me last year it was but something came up I'll tell you about that in a minute but I get up in the same going to do that, but wait a minute so I get done with the e mail and I go what wait a minute maybe I will go just get see if I can get it down to tan wow oh no three more came in oh well I want to stick with this I'm really determine that just sound familiar to and then and then I have a couple of phone calls to make oh my god it's eleven o'clock it's the conference call another hour and a half goes by and by that time this world thirty time for lunch I got to go have lunch because at one o'clock I have a coaching call and then that's over it to two thirty and I go all right, now that the rest of the afternoon free I'm going to write my huffington post article no, I'm never good at this time of day I have to write him the morning because if I don't write in the morning you know my mind's not clear it's all cluttered up with all the stuff I've been doing tomorrow I'm going to write the huffington post article some for mayor and what did I most care about with my major focus being author? What did I most care about writing the huffington post article? What did I accomplish? I got things done now what would it happen play let's play this day back what if I had practice gold time and I got up in the morning and I met did my meditation practice and then I went outside and I had a nice walk and got my exercise done ate my breakfast went to my desk sat down and practice goal time and went to the thing that mattered most the thing that wasn't urgent obviously I've been putting it off for a month but not urgent but it's very very important then at nine o'clock or whatever time it is I start writing my article by ten thirty eleven I'm ready for tim toe look at it and do his edits and give me his ideas you know by twelve o'clock it's posted its done how do I feel then energized my goodness you know I often told myself do the tough stuff first but it just doesn't turn out that way so that's such a good lesson remember the gold time one remember to do the things that matter to you with regard to your plan first so make it happen here are some good lessons that we've learned over the years some of movie repeats of things that dori told you but again it's what do you need to know to become a master at producing results? And you even imagine a paradigm called I am a master at producing results you could just stick that in your little you know bag for the year so first thing treasure your plan it is I would say sacred your plan is sacred you have asked yourself all these questions you have taken a good look at your life you have had the courage to tell the truth about it so when I say treasure it and make it just right take some time you're going to go home and you'll get it into pro and so forth but then when you start playing with it get the words exactly right and you might learn something from the coaching this afternoon get the words exactly right I remember with my guidelines this year I took probably an hour and a half to get them just right and now I can remember them and they're making more difference than they have for years so take that time you know when you want a polish something up and say that's it and it even gets more exciting for you so next thing put your plan in charge once you've created it and you know that it's just right put it in charge you're an idiot I mean I'm an idiot to you heard about me so we're all idiots will give his follower goes well with female whatever you know put the plan in charge what am I supposed to do today what is the next step I take on my monthly goals how much attention am I going to pay to my, uh, new pirate paradigm? You get to that point where you've memorized your new paradigm and it's really with you all the time. So I put in charge. What am I going to do today? Oh, I don't know. Let me think or look at your monthly plan and say okay, I I could make that phone call. Oh, I'm gonna walk, I'm going to run or walk four times a week. Well, today would be a good day to do that, okay, I'm putting that on the list, so even on a day, one day you can make progress on your annual plan, but put in charge, okay, play the game. I can't say this enough. I know that dori has said it keeps score. Can you imagine going to a game where they didn't keep score, where the players didn't keep score and you didn't want you didn't know who was ahead or what it all meant. He thinks score matters because you know how you're doing, right? Ok, the thing of the thing of it is that what? Once you start keeping score of how you did, even if the first month you get fifty percent, you've got fifty percent, you didn't have those goals the month before. It's okay? And, you know, I, by the way, don't even know anybody who's except for maybe one of my clients who ever got one hundred percent on all their goals. It's okay, you're progressing year after year, so the next one use a coach, a friend, a colleague. I don't have to say that anymore. That makes all the difference in the world, even if you only invest in somebody just reviewing your plan and this one watch for miracles. I know dori talked about this watch for miracles expect them if you have a new paradigm and you could begin to imagine what that looks like when it's realized and then I always said, you know, look at that that what happened there, that's a miracle and that's related to my guideline because I have been paying more attention to it reads your best year yet? I mean, I would say that, wouldn't I? But it is really good. I was it was twenty years almost twenty years ago this may that I will that it was since I wrote it and I was just in that clear place where I would get up every morning very early didn't have to push myself to get there, and it just flowed, you know, as things do when you get in that zone and it's actually not not you with something else taking over and it's just really magical it's got great information in there, it will motivate you and I love the stories in the that air in there about clients that I've worked with and that other people have worked with. And finally I'll get on to this. This is one of my favorites eat the elephant bite by, bite the door, tell you that one, okay, when you look at your plan and I'm I'm sure I think there's some people online also who look at their plan and they say, and I'm just not sure that I can handle this. I mean, I'm already busy and they go into the whole thing and this is enormous. Follow these three guidelines live this new paradigm tried to this maybe major focus ten goals it's enormous of course it is. If you look at it, it looks like an elephant so you don't have to eat the whole elephant, eat it, bite by bite, day by day, week by week, once a month by month I think that's a great man, okay? And back to the thing at one more thing I wanted to say about scoring, you could see I was trying to member a minute ago don't be afraid to look it's always better than you think it's going to be I've done that I've gone a couple of months I haven't even looked at my aunt my monthly plan I knew I wasn't doing well I didn't want to know I didn't want you know even to find out and he's just find out what it is is what any you know. Here it is it is this score okay what's next next. So all right now the other piece of good news here I think it's just too remember that you're not alone. Ah, lots of people have done best year yet a million plus over the years and they've succeeded as they had not ever begin a very few people get a hundred percent all situations, all stages of life all ages, all cultures, all countries I like to say ceos, two secretaries to people I think you and I were talking earlier about taking that leap from the paycheck you know, to actually going out and being an entrepreneur solar preneurs that's takes courage to do that, you know that this made a huge difference to people like that. Teens to eighty some things. Last summer a family from england visited us and they have wonderful smart twins thirteen years old and they had done their plan a year ago and sat down and reviewed it with me and they were so excited about the difference it made they were embarrassed about the goals that they didn't get but they were completely into it one had gotten into sports in a way that she never had done before and felt so proud of herself she didn't think of herself as an athlete and the other one who was you know smart but didn't work didn't do her homework didn't apply herself she's real popular but she wasn't getting very far and she started studying and she got much better grades than she had overhead before so this's the point that I'm making how does it happen that people in all walks of life in all cultures of all ages rich or poor uh in deep trouble or just wanting to get better at doing what they really care about how does that happen? So here's the question I have for you why why does it work why does it work why do you feel that your plan is so important to you? Erica um because you've taken time to really look within yourself and think about, um your disappointments and the things that did happen what this common threads are within that and then your values and marrying your values to your goals so it's actually really represents what your soul wants and not what other people want you've been looking at my slide that's it exactly that's it precisely because at the core were the same this was something it's from the book at the center of each of us is an experience of ourselves that is pure, strong, gifted and deeply carrie for most of it's it's what we call our heart or soul I like to call it who I really am without all the stuff the part that never changes the part that never changes one time years ago I read an article about aging and it said the thing they never tell us about aging is that we don't change that's what we're talking about that part that when you were eighteen wanted to be twenty five when you were twenty five you thought you were over the hill but you knew when you got thirty you were going to be completely different, you know? And if nothing changes you think when your when you get to be my age you're going to feel differently you're going it's all going to be different you're going to feel older whatever no, I feel just the same that part never changes this important. Does that make sense to you? Kelly yeah, so this is what I'm most excited about telling you this circle that we have if you see it kind of hopefully represents a son is you it's your heart, your soul, your boot in nature is the buddhists would call it and what it reminds me thinking about that is something that's really important all you need is within you I know that's on the guidelines car card all you need is within you so remember that this is you when you were born you were pure you had no doubts you felt loved you were loving you were happy you ever seen these babies on youtube there just laughing so hard I saw one the other day pure joy nothing stopping them no worries this is who you are there is no fear here there is no worry there's no anxiety there's no doubt you wake up every morning and you feel joyful whatever you call it it's you now how do you know when you're when you're in touch with who you are how do you feel what are you doing baby? I think it's ah it's ah ground it's a grounded but freeing feeling and I think that you're really doing the things that you're passionate about and that you feel the strongest about and what would one of those be for you? Oh um for me uh well I'm really fortunate and that what I do is a profession I also really love so when I'm working I'm feel like I'm often in that space but also when I am um I grew up being a performing artist so any time that I'm expressing myself and anything in that realm I'm very much in that in that space great you recognize that it's that warmth in your heart now what happens? Imagine this isn't just a just a diagram here, but here you are this pure, wonderful little baby and you can still get in touch with that every while but how often do the clouds come around the sun cover it over with doubt fear something somebody says something horrible to you maybe it was a parent maybe it's a friend maybe then because a teacher and you say you know that's that's probably true about me if they said that and then pretty soon that's what you believe about yourself but we get our heart broken somebody who loved us doesn't love us anymore we say obviously I'm not what good enough and we begin to believe in this person does that make sense? This is so important this is the answer to the big problem, which is how do we get our thinking straight? How do we believe in who we are? So just think about that for a minute now here's the here's the thing you think this is this is, uh sad then comes we because we don't walk around going I'm afraid. My mother told me I was an idiot I was sure that was true knowing she probably didn't mean it, but I've always felt a kind of stupid or, you know, my my father said to me that I should be much more, you know so I should actually go on teo get my master's degree in my doctorate and I never did that therefore I'm not good enough whatever those things are and then you make decisions about yourself that means you're not good enough now about a year ago I'll tell you this really quickly my back went out and I was in such pain that I couldn't sit for more than five minutes without having to get up and then I couldn't stand for very long before I had to start moving again and I couldn't write I couldn't sit on my meditation cushion and meditate without being in pain for longer than ten minutes so I finally had to quit that and I was so afraid that my life was over I don't know what's going to die I just mean nothing that that I cared about like exercising going swimming none of that could I do anymore and I was devastated and I still have some of that pain but now I'm dealing with it a little bit differently so what if I walked around and I said hi eric and my name is jeanie and I have excruciating pain and I'm so afraid that my life is going to be over no we can't do that so that we have to put this whole pretense on the top of it hi eric I'm jenny did slur how you oh how am I I'm fine great never better how much energy is put into that? So the question is how can we get through all those layers of stuff here in the center is your plan you major plan from the center you dove into your center when you made the plan you answered those questions that's where your plan comes from that's your empowering paradigm that's your new paradigm right from the center that isn't just a new paradigm I disagree a little bit with dori this I say it's like a new set of clothes it feels like that but I'll tell you what that's the truth your new paradigm is the truth about you without question you're limiting paradigm is the lie they're limiting paradigm is in the clouds is in the the storm that exists around us you know my life is over you know that comes from that gray circle and then you know all the the word of the guidelines come from where does that wisdom come from? Where does what to do in the next year come from all from the center? But yet when life starts happening again are you going to remember to live as much in the centre always thought that making a new plan was like opening a book you know kind of ah and cracked the egg and you begin to see things differently so here's my question for you how do you get out and stay out did I stump you? Erika um I'm going to use first I want my paradigm like if I'm starting tio um if I hear that gremlin, I'm gonna go to that paradigm and remind myself perfect perfect what would you do refer back teo door you've taught these people so well, I have nothing to tell them. It's exactly right, what you do is you work your plan, I promise you if you work your plan, you pay attention to those to those guidelines in your new empowering paradigm, and you progress those goals. What will you be doing? You'll be living from the inside out without a question, you can't do it any other way, and the great news is you don't have to do years of therapy to get rid of all this stuff or read more books or doom or programs or anything. What happens to it? It dissolves in those moments when you're living that plan and I say to myself, okay, my first guideline is, um, solve the problem or let it go solve the problem or let it go and when I remember that I am coming from there all the sunday go wait a minute, you're dithering here stop either solve the problem or let it go, so I promise you this will work so anything that you want to say about this before we move on we're just about ready to get into the coaching what's this going to start with you kelly but I just want to hear from you about this this is when I first I saw this and realized you know how were put together it is so sad in a way that we spend so much time in those other outside circles than we do in coming from the center the more we live from the inside out how do we feel tell me kind of stabilising yes exactly how would you feel authentic exactly you again you've been reading my mind my second my second guideline is speak authentically be myself don't try to be anybody else don't try to look good don't tryto pretend that I'm perfect that you know who look at me when all I what I did know you know I'm a human being just like everybody else and that to me is also authentic that is coming from the sun nder and might last one my last guideline slowdown any questions about this ok game's making me think just really quick that it takes so much less energy that it kind of frees you up to dio at all the other things that you want to dio when you're I'm living by that you feel free yeah yeah perfect any questions over there? We're just all very enraptured by by by your wisdom well thank you very much