Overcoming Your Limiting Paradigms
What are the results you're getting because of the limiting paradigm that is the big bugger for you I gave you my example you know what yours are where do they lead you? What kind of results do you get? What kind of missed opportunities and missteps do you have because of it and here's the biggest one which one stings? It hurts so bad because it's caused you to trip up so many times they're the mistakes that you see from yourself because of that so this is this is one of those questions that again as I said it stings but it's the most transformational it will cause the greatest shift in your life and and if we congest little away and refocus it and shift it but first let's nail it alright every which one um I'm looking at a few but I think they're similar enough and I think I'm afraid I'm afraid yeah I think that that would be limiting I'm afraid and we can fill in the blank whatever it is that comes your way, I'm afraid all right, becky I think that's a pretty great one um so you gonn...
a you gonna buy that one a trumpet? Yeah, they're just not being intelligent effort or not having enough capacity to learn all right I'm not intelligent enough I don't have the capacity to learn try to land it okay try try to strengthen and figure out which one it really is get to the court I don't have enough I don't have enough of the right people to connect me I don't have enough off of the funding teo you know have the equipment or the you know things that I think I need are I don't have the enough resource is I remember coaching the team manager and uh I think it was actually the ceo of an organization so pretty well up there and uh as our how's it going uh I have more work we have more work than we know what to do with okay that's great no it's not great because we have so many independent contractors and I need a full time work force well, great turned those independent contractors into full time equivalents and he said, well yeah except that and so what's that take he says has to justify it you have to justify yeah with the cfo I've got to justify it okay? And so to justify what's it take to do that uh I'm too busy I'm too I don't have the time to do this and you keep going in and in and in and you find out that what's happening with this ceo is eventually says I don't know how to do it I'm embarrassed asked the cfo how to do it and I think I'm going to look stupid and you get to the core that I'm afraid I'll look stupid to others and so once we nailed that because you notice all the excuses that went around that one and you get to it oh, all right. Okay, so now we have something to work with looking at the options and what it comes down to is it's a believe and it's a feeling about yourself I think I'm going to look stupid we'll finish that story in a moment dr soni what's yours ah, I should have already done this so then I I just keep believing it because I should have already been done. They should already have been done. Yes. Okay, day late dollar short. All right, we'll work with that one a little bit, but that's the one okay, erica, I'm fearful of not doing it right not doing it right. Whoa, how many people? How many people can relate to that one? You know, I'm not sure I'm going to do it right? I'm not sure I'm doing it right. I'm not sure I can do it right. Okay, ruth, um well, um okay, so I did. I had because I don't know any other way and then I wrote next to that um which really surprised me, but I'm going to be willing to share this is that I don't trust other people that's a strong one I don't trust other people and sometimes you might eat you know oh wow that is just really, really surprised when I wrote that powerful yeah and again it's like getting to the core of that let's find out what the internet has to say what they've come up with a sure they're obviously sharing similar fears similar faraday's famous absolutely and in particular one one of our viewers jeri lynn photographs is terrified of finishing project to the point that it's crippling um there her husband is extremely frustrated and they're trying to figure out is that imperfection or um or what? And then also we're having some requests on on some positive affirmations are things that we can add teo um to overcome well that's that's the great part because we are going to move into now that we've identified it what can we do this this question? We're still on question for it's a big one it's the big kahuna here and as I said it's the most transformational it does suck a little energy out of you, doesn't it? Because it it causes you to write in front too be with the black and white of what what you're doing and what you're saying and what the results are you're getting um these uh well let's in the chat room I want to remind you that you've got coach chris and coach karen extremely good coaches in the best year yet program that can help you shift or identify this paradigm and really nail it it's got to be something that's grabbing you and really holding on to you and and again I mean why not get some free coaching there that's what they're there for uh as I'm working with the in studio audience you can see that this wasn't easy or was it yeah, it normally isn't um it's not easy to be sharing too with millions of people out in the world and I appreciate that aboutyou so we're going to look at how to create an empowering paradigm because an empowering paradigm here is one that doesn't just flip it over and like an affirmation and say this is blue this is red no this is an example here I always rise to a challenge is a great example of an empowering belief and empowering box we want to go into can you imagine the results you're going to get from this when you believe and your story is awake there's a challenge I always rise to a challenge I work hard and I'm rewarded well that feels like a really good result would come from that one I work hard and I play hard I really good at managing projects I have the talent it takes to be fabulous empowering paradigms make us that person who we really are are and can be and should be that's when I am going to use the word should we have it within us to do that so the empowering paradigm creates a new reality for yourself new results for yourself and a new persona about yourself so I'm a procrastinator turned over two I have the talent it takes to be fabulous or maybe it's uh I have the ability to manage projects that I'm interested in I manage projects well that I'm interested in so instead of leaping into I'm a procrastinator I organize things well and I start working on projects I save time close to the deadline and I mark it off and and uh and I clear out the day because that's my optimal time of working there's so many new stories that we could be talking about ourselves that are more empowering and leading us to the better results when we're looking at are paradigms to shift the limiting paradigm you first half let's consider this model that we often go to taking action before we even consider what is the belief behind causing the action the beliefs the paradigms cause is to do something and when they cause us to do something we get results in this it's sort of like see I told you I was a procrastinator why would that surprise you? I told you I was afraid of networking that's why I'm a wallflower back here it's the I c I told you particular going back to the last line where you say you know I can I can be fabulous I could do that but is it also about setting realistic goals? I mean, if you're selling something that is really genuinely beyond you grass then you're almost setting yourself up for the I said I couldn't do it kind of thing I mean how do you deal with that? Your people keeping people realistic or are we going to get to that later? Yes, we will get to that later but let me address that a little bit here because I can be fabulous if that is you know that's in your future I can be fabulous and if you believe you can be fabulous what are the things that a fabulous person does? How did what did they eat in the morning? What did they dress like? What did they sound like? What did they do? And and so you have to be fabulous if you say I can be fabulous um I can manage projects uh and that's that's a great segue way because we're going straight into what it does take it takes your attitude it takes your attitude first is this something you really really want? Is this something that sounds good taste good and sounds like a good reality? This is really enticing to you and then with that attitude, then, of course will come the action you will take. Okay, this is what a person eats for breakfast. This is what a person says. This is how a person writes an article who is fill in the blank and you know that those bracelets w w what would a fabulous person do? Uh, what would a person who's adorable and and dates d'oh instead of? Well, I'm too old to date or I don't date. What does a networker dio so walla the results are going to be completely different, all right, but how do we do this? Like we're going to create a new paradigm, so we're going to create the new paradigm here's, our limiting paradigm. You all have I already identified that you've got your limiting paradigm, we're going to create an empowering paradigm. It is not the affirmation or the coin just flipped on the other side. I can't cope with new things empowering. I like learning new technology that makes my work easier. So can you hear what the person behind the limiting paradigm may say? I don't know the smartphones, I don't know this software, why does apple keep changing things on me? I just learned this wait a minute, I like learning new technology that makes my work easier, who doesn't right can it just came out with a new camera? Oh, no, I have to learn it again. Wait, I like the results that camera is going to give me. I'm likely to fail. I have the experience in the skill to er for my business nish so unlikely, but my business nish maybe I really want to focus on portrait's of pets. I really want to, um you know, whatever that knishes. So we're going all right? I have the experience and skill for my business knish is this true today? Probably not. Probably not what we're doing is we're driving and painting towards a destination at the end of this year. This is what we want to be our new reality. Does that help j k s o this is what a nem powering paradigm is. What I'm going after the destination, the new reality. This is going to be my new paradigm and what's going to be true for me at the end of twelve months because we're going to have a best year yet plan that's going to already with those guidelines create behaviours, I'm giving you a clue here the behaviors of those guidelines take you to produce and be thie new paradigm empowering paradise I'm afraid of what their reaction my ideal clients value my opinion, maybe not all clients, but my ideal clients so that could be a truism at the end of the year, and it tells you what I'm going to be doing probably michael ports, red velvet policy I'm going to start weeding out the clients who aren't ideal for me and of course, that I would not be ideal for either people will put me down, I have keen insight people want I can't do difficult things, I'm good at project management, so it may be that to get from, I can't do difficult things, I can't multitask we've got a lot of things to go in there that goes at the end of the year, I am good at project management, there may be that I am I have the ability to learn project management and then eventually after learning project management, I like project management that deals with some fraction of it, so there is some conversation in the chat room about I can't handle success got something that feels a lot of people feel is yeah, it's, not that I'm afraid to fail him afraid to succeed, but then you know, the new paradigm is what great things will success bring right exploration? This is true and also it's interesting to determine what success is today and what they're projecting in the future because I would challenge him to say if you were twenty years ago or ten years ago looking at yourself right now would in the eyes of your former self would you be a success and in what portions of life maybe you were married? Maybe you have children maybe you have a business and ten years ago fifteen years ago we may be looking at it and say wow ten or fifteen years ago if I could only be where you are now that would be successful success is like anything else in life the watermark keeps rising and changing for us. All right let's get into riding your new paradigm let's make this really easy for you because there are just five things you have to remember. It needs to be positive it needs to be personal it's probably going to be again with the word I some that's just a big hand there needs to be present tense powerfully and simply stated as those examples have shown you and it needs the most important thing it needs to be pointing to an exciting and enticing future for you the new reality that you want to be true this next year for yourself at the end of this year so pointing to that new future let's give you some paradigm examples again I always exceed my client's expectations I have the talent and ability to achieve results in my work I empower myself to have what I want and what I need I achieve whatever I put my mind to and I have the desire the resilience and the passion to succeed so internet audience I'm going to ask you to start working on your new paradigm now a new empowering paradigm remember these five piece let me go back there that your new paradigm statement has that I want to remind you two that it's not true today it's not your reality today it can be a reality within this year so dig in on this one declare what is going to be go ahead in the in studio audience I'd like you to write it in your books on page thirteen make sure it does point to that enticing new reality that future for you because when you tell it to me I'm going to be able to determine if it does or not so no wishy washy here dig in deep on this one and let's see if we've got any examples yet from the internet yes we're seeing now people are just saying that they're really thinking this through this thing you know that they think you some new powerful paradigms acceptable not actually coming through with any details yet sorry anna s is just saying they're working on getting new energy okay um so we need to give that time's come ok a little bit more time so yes eric I have good let's hear um I always release fear and rise to a challenge. Perfect that is really perfect that's really good. And I it begins with personal it was positive I always it was present tense I always or we could take out the word always and say aye release fear and rise to a jail. Wow. Isn't that even more perfect? Because I always is good. But if you just where that coat right now, which is I release fear and okay, yeah, and it's incredibly empowering. I think it would be easy. You know, if something I'm fearful of presents itself it's I'm connected with that statement to move through that. Yes. And when you're presented with that situation, I want you to take a deep breath and go put on the coat and do that and so and say ah, wait, this is the coat that I am and then what would that I am? Do what? How would that I am react? How would they, you know, what would they say in this situation and and it's and that then the other magic go take it. Look at those three guidelines now remind me of one of your guidelines um be present. Okay, I mean let's see, I have the currents here, alright, it hasn't eat the frog for that's, right, and keep up with relationships and do you notice how that will blend itself in and help you produce the new paradigm. As a result, that's magic, like the bee present is really identifying that fear. Okay, for I let it get do you big. Okay, so identifying that and squashing it with empowering good job. I didn't need to coach that one very much at all. Every what about yours? Um, I had to whittle it down. I light up a room with enthusiasm and authenticity, okay? And and so what's it feel like when that is what you're doing and what you're being and it is true. Uh, what does it feel like? Yes, um, joyful and freeing, uh, and free of that fear, my, my paradigm was, I'm afraid. So it has a very light three fields. And is it a little uncomfortable? Because if I were to ask you to walk out that room and introduce yourself to somebody and say, and and you say you're new paradigm, you go oh, you kind of shrink a little bit because, you know, that's not really. My true story that's really not true. And and yet, when you say there's a way, I like to condition my clients into a new empowering paradigm, and that is, I am learning to I have the ability to I'm I'm starting to now that doesn't keep it present tense but sometimes it's how I get clients to adjust teo where it is they're headed because all these these days and years they've been headed down to l a and now they're new paradigm is saying new york we've really gotta adjust him from driving south to driving in this this place you know west to east so it is a little uncomfortable all right? Kelly you ready for yours? I'm talented and have the ability to succeed I am talented and have the ability to succeed and what are the results you get because of that? Kelly uh, confidence and a lot of those disappointments from today's list would be probably out of the window and you're talented and able to succeed those new parents are those new guidelines that you have will fit in because those actions and behaviors you have feed in to produce the new paradigm smack smack smack got it together let's hear from the internet audience okay colorful b says um I I was fearful of money or am I going teo I get the money I deserve from clients and I manage it properly either. This is sarah, she says. I have power in the now but that is good and stunning and I'm saying I'm learning to work with mohr complex visual problems and then also the rainy day store, says tv that you have a wonderful smile and you bring light teo audiences everywhere all right all right, so and shifting our paradigm we went through those examples you gave excellent examples and shifting to your new paradigm you're limiting paradigm was over here as you be the new paradigm remember you're going to wear that cloak ticket off put it on and that's the new paradigm when you be that you be that person let's say it's a person uh the old paradigm was I don't listen I never listen I'm told I don't listen well and the new paradigm has to do with while you're a person who really listens well, you know you I am a person who listens well, I am a person who listens deeply and so you be that person who listens, it leads you to do things such as listening and it creates a favorable result let's look in a parent so the parent believes they don't listen to their child they're told they don't listen to their child or you don't listen too well we'll just stay with the pain a parent right now. And so then you remember that you're headed towards a parent who listens deeply to their child and understands and so what they're doing now is they're listening to the child and then what it gives for them is that they get those um uh uh results by hearing overhearing the child talked to their other friends that say, now, my dad really listens to me and really gets me so your customers, if you want to be something different to your customers and its associated with your paradigm, how do you measure this? How do you measure this? You're going to measure it by not only what you feel in the results you get by being this by shifting your paradigm, getting outside that tight box to something new to what happens, what shows up around you, outside of you that supports and proves you're new, paradigm is coming in.