Values That Drive You
I want to remind you two that what we're doing at best year yet and with this process that you're going through there's three things were the two days we're going to be doing one right now we're in making your plan and then the second portion of it is making or tracking and scoring your plan and then that's again one of the differences is to what makes this type of goal setting aa program that works and not at all like a new year's resolution. So then the third portion is about, uh, making you a master at producing the results we've put in today some very important kind of the foundational pieces of best year yet to help you be a master at producing results, we've created your guidelines, those air behaviors that you're going to follow those three guidelines that will lead you to action and thoughts and behaviors to produce the identified knew empowering paradigm, that empowering paradigm, the new reality, the new vision you have for yourself at the end of this year that which will cre...
ate results for you that'll be favorable that'll put a big smile on your face and I want you to remember though what we talked about it, that last module last segment was that new paradigm right now, you know that's well, who wouldn't that be great? Doesn't that feel good when it's riel and yet right now, it's not really it's not your reality I want you to go home tonight, tuck it under your pillow and just sleep on it and sit with it just a little bit when when you wake up tomorrow, take a look at what you've written and say yes, that is where I want to go that is the destination that's the new reality for me and that would also help this next year for me be my best year yet so we're creating this, we're going to go into values. One more thing that I would like to tell the audience at home too is even though we've got excuse me even though we've got our in studio audience working with their workbooks uh you can follow along too by perchance seen today's program and the workbook is available for you remember as you sleep on that paradigm even as you review the workshop maybe because you purchase and download it this is something that sustains you now for the rest of your life. If you choose to know more new year's resolutions for you best year yet year after year after year as you've learned this how to create guidelines, a new paradigm and the things we go into now now you have a new cultural shift for yourself, so out with the new year's resolutions were ready to go into values wonderful so in our value segment this is question number five we want to know which values you have that and discovered them for you in your major focus uh in in this segment this afternoon so our personal values what are our personal values well there's so many of them right there's an entire uh I I think uh I counted last something like four hundred and something that somebody put out uh on a list but what are the values that matter most to you are our goals reflect our personal values and they ignite them when our personal values are intertwined weaved into what our goals are that's another reason how we keep the should in the odd two's out of our goals especially in best year yet is to make sure that they're aligned with what we value in life what drives us in life now we have our personal values and we have what we call values that give us a negative driver are personal values integrity trust just throwing out a couple of examples honesty family first contribution to others making a difference and again the list can go on and on where do some of these values come from? Some of them were developed as young people some of them come from our tribe the tribe being our family our organizations our communities our family are are even our cultural professions and organizations we go into what's a value of apple computers innovation and so that organization looks for people with the value of innovation in joining them and then another organization may have the value of, um working life balance and a working life balance they're looking for people who wouldn't have been like me in the days that I was a workaholic uh because they really want their employees to embody that so looking at your own personal values and what are the values that drive you? What I'd like you to do is especially in the internet quickly do not do not a dive in on this one but just quickly write out what are the values that drive you? Is it integrity isn't honesty? Is it self sufficiency? Is it community service contribution and compassion don't there's no need to look it up just simply let what floats to your mind come up and write those values down and let's see how you're able to really identify what is the value for you that drives your life and I can see that our in studio audience is already doing that that's wonderful I'm going to keep talking for a little bit because I want to talk about other values too those are the negative driver values we can have some values that drive us negatively in our actions they um they aren't a positive when they give us a result such as resentment by value and use the value of resentment my actions are going to be resentful and that's probably not a good taste that I leave control the value of control I must control this we're talking about that earlier ruth I need to be in control um I need to be right this is this one sadly sadly io work with those children in the young people in the foster youth program and this is so sad to see that so many of them will come in feeling like they have to be right it's not okay to be wrong that, uh if they are wrong uh I mean, it goes so deep that they're not going to be love they're not going to be accepted they must be right and sometimes in our educational system this starts building into us had to prove myself that's of course coming from that bucket of I'm not good enough. Oh, anybody here know a martyrdom type of value somebody who's driven by that I have one of those women in my life and it drives me absolutely nuts. Uh, listening to the woe is me and the well basically this one also comes out of drama queen land and of course our drama queens and kings they get fuel and they feed themselves on this so we all have values what's most important though for you today is to identify the values that are the ones that you want to use in your life to intertwine with your goals to help build on them, use them to a higher degree I call it turn up the volume on them and uh and help us make our decisions with them let's listen to the internet a little bit and see what some of the values are that they've been coming up with any camp come through yet yeah taylor stone is same becoming known sharing my personal expression carla cano is saying honesty transparency family first freedom those air their personal values guessed five nine is saying freedom making a difference on rainy day stores put it very sick something just being happy just being happy a good value educated that's another one educated one of my values learning as a way of being a creative life is a great example of this what when when I discovered creative live it just absolutely with a wonderful match for my values because I said wow an organization that is helping people another value of mine contribution and compassion and here they are contributing their free on live broadcasts and helping people learn expand so it's an instant match we gravitate towards people opportunities, places, communities things is that a line with our values and what happens to us when we come up against something or someone customers, clients opportunities, jobs, occupations that do not align with our values they make us eventually unhappy camper I like to equate it to a piece of sandpaper going like this and eventually will rub you down because it's against your values and so many people quit jobs and relationships because of that when we're talking about a walk drama queen or martyrdom type of person who just embraces that value, they may not be conscious of it, but that's there that's what dropped is causing their actions and driving them it's like putting fuel in your tank that's their fuel and so they come from that place their stories or from that place their actions they design their life around it and and when that type of person is in your life and it's not you I'm a person who sees opportunities looks for the silver lining there's there's yes, there's horrible things that happen and yet you can look at okay let's get through that and what's the blessing on the other side what's the silver lining on this but a person like that now they gotta stick right to it and they can't go farther than that they're going to drive me absolutely crazy I'll be nuts being around them for too long because that sandpaper effect to go on identifying your values helps you in so many ways besides the the importance of creating your best year yet plan let's talk about your businesses, your goals and desires if your values aligned with those uh and and the type of nish you want the type of company photographer business videographer whatever it is you want to be and you align that with the type of client and nish then you're to be one happy camper you go against your values you bring in work that's against your values clients customers relationships either you're going to get worn down or you're just a plain unhappy camper so let's find out what some of your personal values are. Erica, can we start with you great compassion active listening mindfulness integrity family making a difference helping others authenticity vulnerability freedom in the night put learning as a way of being said and contribution and compassion okay all right, good. And can I ask you which ones came from your family which one's air from the tribe that you know in the smith family this is what we dio in the brown family this's what we dio um I think helping others and family you know, family if you're not if you know your family will always be there for him so that's those were the probably the two um let's hope your family will always be there for you. They certainly will if that's their value right and everybody has embraced it. Yes, yes and and somebody who doesn't know this there's no right or wrong here it's it's uh, you know, if mom is not standing over your shoulder saying to you oh you must have family first trust should be yours and no no let's nobody's looking over your shoulder that's the uniqueness about and that's a greatness about us being individuals that we can have and choose our own if I gave you a deck of values and you were to sort him out and I do this sometimes I have a deck of cards like and I asked people what are you most important to you today and then the other side of that is what's not most important and know mom's not looking at you then I asked them to bring it down and bring it down and bring it down and they moan in the grown I didn't take the values away from them they're still there they're still yours but as I take it down take it down take it down and I'm asking him what's most important to you today there's some interesting ah ha's that come out of that and the ah ha's are well I thought it was going to be that or it should have been that but it was this it was this and those are really terrific opportunities every single year to reflect on to see what's fueling your tank what's driving you becky what do yours um flexibility, positiveness relationships, creativity, curiosity, compassion and do you notice that in in having those values that if we put you into a country over here you big men and they say no you're not allowed we don't allow those values to be expressed displayed um lived in this country what would happen to you yeah yes and so the same thing holds true for the occupation and the type of business and the customers that you want is to ensure that there's a nice match therefore you be very conscious of that integrity anybody know what integrity means first and foremost keeping the promises you make to yourself we think it means keeping the promises we make to keeping our word to others yes but I ask you how many of you are keeping the promises that you make to yourself especially the small promises you make to yourself where are you out of integrity with yourself so when a person chooses integrity I won't remember that walk the talk it's ask yourself and my integrity is to myself first you may be very full of integrity to other and and yet not to yourself and I go who something's something's out of sync there okay evie what's yours um I have quite a list okay I did have integrity making a difference contributing to others family um equality freedom breaking back barriers um education, compassion, creativity, curiosity, mindfulness inspiration I would expect creativity out of you I would expect those uh and the nature of the occupation that lights you up that the nature of the job now the nature of the relationships that you have um we have relationships that are this close and then a ring out and our ring out from that entering out from that and so many of our relationships will turn off go south anybody here have a former spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend or mate or even roommate? You'll notice that a lot of them had to do with your values things that just did not mesh. Okay, so kelly how about yours? Um helpful honest, trusting happiness learning uh fearless authenticity communication creativity okay, good and and which one comes from your family? Um I would say supportive well, I didn't say before but yeah ok and yeah good. Ruth how about you? Which one is the biggest one that comes from your family? Your tribe? Um creativity and resourcefulness are there any negative driver values that are coming, tio well, it's an interesting question I yeah, I mean, it is it is. If it is a version of of martyr, it is a version of it, but it's definitely like couched and it is a version of it that's all I can say when it's it's couched in what might have been care okay, yeah, been care is on my list yeah, yeah, yes uh in you one of mine has been self sufficiency I really have no idea where I got it but I do know that I see it in my parent and and I see it in other things I see it in a niece oh, my goodness it's so when I see it in my niece and I look at that and I got well of course of course why is that just just ringing a bell with me? She'll do everything she can to figure out how to be self sufficient and oh my goodness she's had a lot of challenges to do that and and yet when I see her persevere with self sufficiency when a person doesn't want to help themselves and wants to wallow in their martyrdom then of course it's going against my personal value so which one up I better ask internet I know they've been busy writing so let's find out if the internet is flowing with some values but flowing with ah ha's and yanks and lots of examinations about getting their own values what's fascinating is when somebody suggest something then everyone leap. So yes that's a great one too but I think by that you mean that speaks to me too there's some great ones farmer john was saying champion the championing the underdog that's a great value they tried teo put in place super blonde saying creativity dr leadership live life to its fullest taking up beat look quel beau sixty st gratitude health life balance andi was one the one that said everybody alive was integrity integrity was very important self realizes that a positive or a negative interesting that's a question for farmer john again yes and farmer john self reliance can go either way. In fact, several of our values can go either way that self sufficiency one I can absolutely like self reliance can go and get unequal here and you can imagine what's gonna happen when it's unequal when you just are our full out using that one and, uh to ej sort right cliche of two age sort and it cuts through something that is important to you only you can judge how do you know how far taking a value too far? There's there's ah client I worked with who when it gets her family values and or I should say when against it's there was that uh uh they were at loggerheads family first family important family always was the tribes and hers was a very strong uh making a difference putting her dent in the world being part of the helping contribution the compassion and so what did she want to do? She wanted to do something over in africa and that would cause a court you know, geographical division but a huge division for thes people because as a family she's not going to be around for the holidays and and yet this is what her heart was calling and was driving her to dio and so you know, sometimes you have to part ways and say this is my calling until so taking and letting go of the family value can be an ouch sometimes all right, now I'm going to ask you this question which values? And I want you to choose three to five, which values this year just this year, do you need to turn up the volume on that you need to express more? You need to be more you need to make your decisions from what are those values? I want to be more calm? I want to be more loving as a parent, I want to turn up the volume on my integrity since our values drive us identifying which ones this next year you need to up your game on well, we've in to how you're going to produce your goals and the actions and it's just another another piece of the puzzle in the best year yet system that helps you as you as we started off with guidelines and lessons learned and a new paradigm, a new reality for yourself and now, as you notice, we're bringing in the puzzle piece of values of half having you be very aware, very conscious and knowing what's going to cause some of your decisions of yes, and no or no, thank you. Our values will do that. So finding out first from the in studio audience. So let's find out from you, becky. Just being more responsible and more present. More present. More responsible. Okay, so those values you want to turn up the volume on it? How do you how will you do that? Do you have any idea? Um, I guess just focusing more on where I am to be president making sure, um, you know, I think that's was yes. So which one of your guidelines will help you do that way? Go. Uh, well, I have, um, just approach situations with confidence and be a part of it, I guess. Okay. Good. And are any of those values going? Tio, uh, room your occupation, your business in a different direction or they aligned with it? Hopefully aligned with it? I think so. From what I'm hearing from you, good kid. Okay. Kelly, um, about top five. Positive, focused, self sufficient, responsible and tenacious. Tenacious. Well, that's. A fun one. So we can expect kelly to be what everybody you got hurt? You're going to be more tenacious this year and we can remind her to be more tenacious if I were coaching you throughout the year, which is what we do in best year yet our coaches coach our client's month after month after month, I would be pulling in right in front of me would be your value of tenaciousness and I would challenge you or or stretch some of your ideas and say to take you in to be more tenacious, giving you a spark of idea because as you are more tenacious, what's a result that you're going to get, uh, well, I had focus on goals and be confident so right it's same in alignment with that it is an alignment, right? All right, one of my values this year that I'm turning up is it's called turn up my love and already we're just a few well, one month into the year and you better be careful what you declare, what you suggest you're going to dio because, wow, I have never in my life been given so much opportunity notice I use the word opportunity, okay challenge I'll be very honest to turn up my love and turn up my love in situations where I never imagined being challenged with, as I said, the loss of a very, very good flight friend and wow you just okay you asked the universe delivers here's the time and the opportunity to do that so when you're declaring these things I really should have had a warning on the label before you all enjoyed this this studio audience is that you're gonna walk out the door and the universe is going to give you the chances to be and dio that all right, evie what's one of yours um I had I had integrity and I think that one's very important ah lot of mine I noticed I had a really long list but they kind of all reflected each other making a difference was a big one and, um creativity and actually just came up and I had other ones but being more grateful, I think spans a lot of the other values, so you're going to turn up your gratefulness value? Yes. All right, so you're grateful for lunch you're grateful for sitting here. You're grateful for your job all in the rain yesterday in san francisco. Erica um, integrity is my first one and I loved that. You pointed out that it's integrity to yourself keeping yourself you know, your promises because I mean there's a long list of promises that I haven't kept to myself uh what's the first one you're going teo keep, um my five couch to five k program and my eating nutrition program. Wow. First two big promise and it's been years of not keeping that asked myself. All right. And ruth? Which one are you going to turn out? Just choose one. I'm going to turn up, um, being seen and heard. All right. Well, you are now let's. Hear from the internet chat rooms, especially carla kano says I need to turn up the volume on integrity and balance. Wait up. We also have putting my needs first from anna. Um, when m wants to be more present and also photo girl twenty twenty wants to be more focused, more adventurous, more unified in there, I thought that's similar to butterfly vanessa against staying focused a photos to their goals and following my truth, my joy, regardless of what other people expect of maintenance. Interesting angle. We had to have one question, though. Dori from taylor stone, what is the purpose of knowing which values come from your family? Oh, because I think so many of those we look at and we say, well, because we're smith, because we're browns, uh, we have to adopt that we have to take it and knowing which ones coming from your family. Sometimes you want a divorce not for the family, but from the value, because it really doesn't serve you uh if if uh the value of self sufficiency doesn't serve you uh then divorce yourself from it so ok that's fine that's theirs and they can keep it they can have it but I'm choosing my own and that's that's really the purpose here is again that awareness that consciousness of what is driving you your values drive you they are your petrol they are your fuel you're going to make your decisions when push come to the shop what's gonna happen even at the carrot of money comes in eventually that carrot ways wears down and your decisions need to come from this firm standing of what your values are and mostly of course turning up the values of the ones that you want to show more you want more results from more inspiration and more more zest for life I'm surprised I haven't heard the value of loyalty I haven't heard the value of fun yet unless I miss that um let's see philanthropy anybody say they want to have more fun you think they'll be top of most people is and many well when I'm doing this in a corporate environment it's like who can I say one more fun you know you can have fun at work and seriously as we're doing this is creative live with all the instructors air teaching you about your businesses and growing and building them they're doing one thing not just the skill base in the knowledge they're t and how twos and all of that they're teaching you how to enjoy your business, how to have fun in your business, because if you're not having fun, you're taking up the space in our universe and I say, for the sake of what, because fun, well, it puts up the endorphins and helps the ozone layer, right? Okay, so let's see marital vows, marriage, ah, spirituality. See what other ones did I not hear risk taking. If you have the value of risk taking and your family plays it safe and you're kind of that black chief, I guess they would see you as wow. But think of the type of jobs you want to go into, not the job of being. This is a bias nous, but not the job of being an air traffic controller. Please, do we really want an air traffic controller to take a lot of risk, so probably a misalignment there.