Coach For What You Want
Now in your case with coaching folks who are a little edgy or their anger is coming through in the content, and it's making things not work so well and maybe even sabotaging their role as the facilitator of the conversation and having them perceived as a participant maybe sabotage what they really want out of that I would use that being declarative. You're angry. Do you want that to show and in what way? That would be the place where I would start with them for sure. And then I would do the positive articulation, positive struggle articulation. You're angry because this is a passionate area and here's what happens when you're doing that, and is that the outcome that you want? So once we're done with an intervention, exaggerating a desired behavior, exaggerating or shrinking an undesired behavior. And then unpacking what that does for your audience or for your client. You're gonna attach that intervention to the positive struggle articulation like I mentioned. So when you do that, meani...
ng when you only set up your meetings in three powerful sentences, you are far more important to me, your role is far more important to me in the room. When you do that, meaning when you are neutral in tone but powerful in your language when you're having an interview, you are so much more impactful and you make your guests shine. Is that what you want? Yeah. So every time we have an opportunity to tie what feels uncomfortable for your client to do but makes good on what they want we're gonna tie that to that uncomfortable feeling so they know, wow, when I'm restraining myself uncomfortably I am actually getting the outcome I want from that crucial communications moment. And I have a sense of what to control and I have a sense of control based on what I want as an outcome for that crucial communications moment. I had a client this year who her positive struggle articulation was you are an absolute status quo breaker but you just stepped into a role that is chock full of status quo. You have a role that has a bunch of protocol attached to it, a bunch of status quo that must be maintained in order to establish and maintain trust with the cohorts that you work with, but it's not actually what you're here to do. That was showing up in how she was communicating. She was showing up- offstage she was like this, and onstage she's all of a sudden the role of I'm just here doing the thing, playing the role that everyone expects me to play. Because now I'm in this role that is the top, the pinnacle of my career and has a bunch of expectations with it and protocol, et cetera. So I had to had to ask her what do you actually wanna be known for? And then not expect that her rule breaker self is gonna completely blow up the expectations of her role. Those things could coexist. We just had to be thoughtful about where we put them in a way that let her continue to speak from the heart. When you do that, and in her case it was when you tie, when you name progress points where status quo was challenged and the result was progress, I perceive you as the status quo breaker. But how you deliver it doesn't break my trust. So we had to do that dance. How do we get to have you speak from the heart and play the role?