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Lesson 16 from: Leadership Skills for New Managers

Cory Caprista

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Lesson Info

16. One-on-Ones

Next Lesson: Influencing

Lesson Info


Now let's get in a little more tactical around one on ones. Is everyone here have at least some one on ones in their schedule, in the room? Yeah? A one on one, even with your manager up, counts, right? So, one on ones are where the rubber meets the road. That's the defended time that we get with people often, where we're not looking at our phones, or just doing things, right? We all agreed with that person to show up at a certain time, and pay attention to each other. So what's important? We gotta build structure into them. It's precious time, 30 minutes or 45 minutes, or even an hour sometimes. We gotta use that. So, big part of building structure is define the cadence. How often is right? Are we meeting too much, or are we meeting too little? If we're meeting too often, maybe we should keep the same frequency, but decrease the time. Or maybe we should decrease the frequency, but increase the time? Okay, that's really important to figure out what's the right cadence for each individua...

l person. Managing up, across, and down. Don't skip or reschedule. Don't skip or reschedule, don't skip or reschedule. You still will sometimes skip and reschedule, but make this a commitment. You are sending such a signal that I don't care about you when you skip or reschedule as a habit. Has anyone had a manager who does this frequently in their life, in their career? What was it like to have a manager that did that? I had like important things to discuss, and I used to prepare. And then like 15 minutes before the meeting, it was rescheduled and I was like, I spent so much time to prepare, and you don't really care about my time. So, it was kind of discouraging. Did you stop preparing as much over time, with that person? I kind of did, yeah. Yeah, you kind of did, because that kind of makes sense, 'cause you're a logical woman. I'm not gonna waste my time. So people get prepared. If you don't take it seriously, they won't take it as seriously, right? You have to set the tone or the culture. They're always watching, they're always judging. This is time to focus on the person, and the work. The person, and the work, okay? You can't just focus on the work. Let them own the agenda. Let them own the agenda. It doesn't mean you can't contribute to it, but let them own it. And use a shared doc for notes, somewhere where you can look in before hand, drop in things you wanna talk about, and look at their organization skills as well, okay? So quickly, types of one on ones. We have check in one on ones. How are we feeling? Reflection one on ones. How would you appraise your current skills and abilities? Where are you being under leveraged, or over leveraged. And then we have career ones. The career ones are kind of special. We'll talk about those more. They're less frequent. We'll talk about whose career do you admire, helping them grow and figure out where they wanna go. So just quickly, I'd love to hear an example of who helped you in your career, and how was their contribution significant? Who's someone that really supported you? Does anyone have someone that jumps to mind? Yes I do. I have a district manager that I've known for over ten years, and no matter where I worked and where I left her, she came and visited me at every job that I've had in-between then. Just to check in and make sure that I was on the path that I wanted to be on. And gave her honest feedback of the choice that I've made if I jumped ship from company to company. But, it was more important because she wasn't just doing that when I worked for her, it was after I left her. And then I ended up working for her again. Wow. Yeah. So the impact was you worked for her twice. What was the other impact on you in your career development? It made me want to be like that for people. It kind of set the tone for what I look for in growth and development, and my investment in people, beyond if they're gonna work for me or not. Wow, so she created another impactful out of being and impactful leader. Wow, it multiplies. Did it help you in your career get where you wanted to go faster or clearer? Absolutely. Abso-freakin-lutely. Great. And we have one more maybe? One more story of someone who helped you? Cus I know you didn't get here on your own. Yeah? So mine is actually Diene. Aww. (laughing) I originally worked for her, and then, you know, she helped to really foster that warmth and that drive within me. Wow. And so you have now warmth, in your day to day, and you have drive towards your career? Correct. Wow. So from one, to another, to another. That's amazing, Diene, great job! That's fantastic. So, more than anything I'm gonna say, we're not gonna spend a ton of time on career development, it's like an infinite space where we could do a whole course on that, you caring about it and making it important, and really being there for the people matters more than anything. Those are great stories. I had no idea by the way that was gonna be the story in here I'm really happy that it is. So our focus on career development, millennials really freaking care about this. They need a path. And, you can give them one. It doesn't have to be around, we'll go into more of what that might look like. Make them separate from check-ins, don't use your regular one on one for career development conversations. They are separate. Usually, they're less frequent, but you take more time with them. Okay? And, don't be afraid to use external resources. There's great external resources on career development. One that Creative Live does is Design Your Life workshop, which, if you're online, you can buy that one to follow this, or we can send people to. There are books, there are courses all around career development. Use them. Help people connect to these things that are going to change their lives. And don't do their work for them. They have to take responsibility. Okay? I want you to understand, career development is more than just promotion and title changes. Often you can't give either of those things. So what can you give? I mean if you can give someone more money and more responsibility, give it to them. Good. Everyone will be really happy. So, what can you give them? Well, you can give them skill development. You can give them tasks and projects that are resume builders, right? So when they leave, they go boom, and they're in an interview they're like "Look what I did". You can increase freedom, creativity, and responsibility in the now. You can make their life, day to day, feel better, more expanded, more successful, more impactful. I think everyone in this room probably has the value of impact somewhere on their chart, at least if it's not in your top four, it's probably in your top 20. Help people have more impact, they'll love you. So one one ones. You gotta create space for them, there's no other way. They take time. Guide people to resources, don't put it all on you as the expert. And, coach and reflect. Oh my goodness. Coach, coach, coach. That was the number one skill of being a manager, right? This is your space to be a coach. And lastly, whether it's any kind of one on one, let them own it, if it's someone below. This is their time with you. But you can help them get better at using that time with you. Coach them and guide them on how to be more professional with that, but make them own it. And for you when you're managing up, you need to own your one on ones going up. And then by doing that, you'll be able to teach how to do that for people below you.

Class Materials

Bonus Materials with Purchase

Cory Caprista - Leadership Skills Workbook

Ratings and Reviews

Mandy Hamilton

I absolutely love this course. Cory is such a good speaker/teacher. He seamlessly pulls in useful frameworks and how-to instructions throughout. I highly recommend this program to existing managers or aspiring managers. It will benefit those who have been in leadership for years or those who are just stepping into the role.

Sylvie Leroy

Super interesting. Clear explanations on the process to become a manager. Lot of useful information and exercices. Highly comprehensive. Thank you!

Tatie Diallo

wow amazing class and content and Cory is making it sounds so easy. Thanks

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