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Money Management for Couples

Lesson 7 of 33

Identifying Your Beliefs

 

Money Management for Couples

Lesson 7 of 33

Identifying Your Beliefs

 

Lesson Info

Identifying Your Beliefs

Okay, here's I don't want you to do take out your manual Page 44 and get ready to write your answers here. Now, for those of you at home, if you don't have the manual, take out a piece of paper. I'm gonna write give you these beliefs because you're not gonna have him run down. This is not like a scoring thing. So you just need Teoh notice the beliefs If you don't have the manual, it's just right down. Like if this belief, like if you're 1 to 9 or 10. Like if if you feel some emotional response to it, a 10 means you totally agree. So to be rich, you have to use people and take advantage of them. So if you feel charged about that like, yeah, totally, you have to use it will take Evangeline, are you feel like No way, like, absolutely not to be rich. You do not have to use people. Take it, manage them like you're one. You may want to jot a few words down to remember what that belief is. So what you're looking for, for example, Mark, because you think it may not be your beliefs looking here...

. If there's anything that sticks out that maybe something, just maybe just play with me on this, okay? So go ahead and rate yourself can. Or if it's something that charges you feel like it would be a 12 Meaning you don't really agree. Or a 9 10 Then right down is as much as you can. If you don't really like, if you're a five and this like it doesn't really mean much to you. Then then don't write down to worry about that. Like a number two. Getting rich is a matter of luck. I don't feel good enough to be rich. Number four. Getting rich takes too much work and struggle. Five. Having a lot of money will make me less spirituals or pure. Most rich people probably did something bad or dishonest to get their money. Remember, if you're if you really believe strongly about something, make sure you write that down. Number seven Money is the root of all evil. Eight. If I get rich, certain people in my life won't like me or it more like it or me. Mark. I want Mark Teoh to comment on any of these. If he has tens or ones, Actually, 1 to 9 or 10. I want to hear if market got any of these. Number nine. I'm not very good at money stuff. I'm not very good at it. 10 If I get a lot of money, I might lose it. Tan, you totally agree. One you don't done. You know, you go to the next page. If you're done, you're in your manual. You have the second page. more questions, finish those. And then we're gonna talk about this. Number 11. If I really strive for wealth and don't succeed, I'll feel like a failure. Number 12. This just isn't the right time for me to focus on my finances. 13 money causes lots of problems. It's hard to make money, and lastly, striving for wealth will stress me out and make me ill. So I'm gonna put up the other questions. But if you're at home, if you don't have the manual, you could just skim it real quick. And then if there's anything that jumps out and no, you're not gonna be able to grab them all, don't worry about it. Let's get the manual when you have a chance. But I want to hear now you from from the audience here and at home as well. What beliefs or what beliefs stood out to the most. Either you gotta 1 to 9 or 10. I have ones on everything. Ones on everything. Interesting. So is there one that you just skim some of that and pick out one to use as an example? I don't agree with any of these are like, if if I make more more money, I'll just have to pay more taxes. Are I? God Will God will make me rich. Poor middle class. No, that's and that's you get rich. You'll get wealthy your poor or middle class because you work hard or you invest poorly or because the economy is bad and there's not work. OK? Yeah. Good. I want to keep going. But we know you have a question. Well, it's it's interesting some of these questions because I know what I should say. And what my actual belief icis Something completely different. Okay, give me an example. Ah, You okay? Uh, number 27. And Rita, I need a man. That's it. Care of me? Possible. Thank you for sharing So why and what? What did you put? I feel it out. What? What? Do you know that you believe you said? I know what I should put. Obviously, I was crying one. Okay, so it's a to 10. I'll tell you, it's a 10. Why don't you tell us a little bit? You know about what's going on your life and why that is so charged for you emotionally. What else? Before pardon? I'm the eldest of four Children, um, and grew up in a small little town. And my dad worked, and my mom took terrible four of us. And she didn't start working when I was and got to a point where she ended up getting a job. She really loved working in bridal. And I knew that she loved that, because that's what she was doing before she had me. Um And so, um, now she's again not working. She takes care of the home. Both of my brothers still live at home. Um, and it's it's I haven't had I see female role models on television, which is great because that's what I'm pursuing is my as my career. This is what I want that I've been working on creating for myself, and I've been fairly successful at it. I mean, I have no, um, people to really connect with in that, you know, Uh, no, I don't have really role models. Okay. In my life. So what's going on? So thank you for giving us a little about your background, sir. Um, what is going on with you and your relationship? You're married? Yes. I'm married. And tell me what's going on in regards to that specific question. My husband is taking care of me. Let me feel. Really, Um I kind of feel guilty about it. Do you feel you all? Yeah, I feel guilty about it. I feel I feel ashamed that I'm in a lot of ways very much like my mother, which I love my mother. But I don't want to live the life that she's living. Uh, because I know I feel bad for her because she is an amazing artist like me. Um and so I have I have a difficult time. I don't see too many. I don't see what I don't see what it is that I want in somebody else to be able to mimic that or create that for myself. Like I don't You're talking about a role model along with this farce, But let me go back sex. So what you had said is that, you know, my husband makes money. You don't really know exactly how much, but he makes the money, and, um And he you don't have a house. You said I don't I don't have a house. My my husband has one, right? Well, we we rent. He pays the rent. Okay, We have to. How did you put it? If you could try to remember, he had to say it keeps the roof. That's what I said. He keeps a roof over my head. Awesome. So he said he keeps a roof over my head. So the belief that I need a man to take care of me out of 10 right? How is that serving? You having that belief? You have the belief that money. Sorry. I need a man to take care of me. How is that serving you? But it is. It is. It is what it is. The situation that I'm in is because I have a belief. But how is it serving I mean, what do you get out of it? Well, you get a roof overhead. That's for one, right? Yeah. I mean, I have, you know, I have a car to drive, and I have, you know, he pays for everything, and that's it's a wonderful so one thing, the way it's serving you is that to believe that I need a man to take care of me. You have a man to take care of you. Yes, right. So that's one way it's serving you. So let's think about this. We're talking about conflicting beliefs like Can you see how you may not ever make money If you believe that, I need a man to take care of me because part of your system just wants you to be taken care of. I mean, most, like your system wants you to be taken care of. So, like it's not surprising that you would maybe not make the money that you want to make and have success in your business. Does that make sense because you're like, I need a man to take care of me? That is like it's in your unconscious beliefs. I mean, you know it consciously now, but obviously exacting. You're right. Affecting your job. Picking your career, affecting your business, All those things. Yeah. So how's it holding you back? Kind of decided. Let you tell me. Well, yeah, I mean in because I have all of my basic needs taken care of, because before him, I was in survival mode. I was working 234 jobs just so that I could keep a roof over my head. Um, and guess what? When you didn't have a man to do it, You did it, right? Yeah, I did it. Did it keep going? Yeah, I did it. And, um and it was. But the thing is, is that the difference is is that because I have a man to take care for me? I'm actually about to pursue my passion. Where when I was working jobs, it was not. So how is it holding you back? So as we're trying to get to write, So it's having that belief. How is the belief of I need a man to take care of me holding you back? Because I don't need to make I don't need more than what I have so they say there's no fire under your but who, like you have no fire. Litton lit under your but right, you go and make the business happen because you haven't. We've every had you have all essentials. Your system is telling. I would like to have nothing. It's okay. And so what happens is the the way it's holding you back is that you probably don't. You don't get the results that you want your business where you know that your urine, your passion, you know you can be successful. You know, you can help more people. And really, I think, and you can disagree with this. But what's most important to know about that? How it's holding you back is that you are not helping people when you could, Huh? What was your That's kind of my stuff. Because I care so much about helping people. What was, like your ultimate money value to remember, like one of the top three? Yeah. I mean, it was it waas To who? That I could help people create meaning for themselves. Um, help them create me. Okay, That's perfect. That's perfect. So you your top money value is to help people create meaning for themselves. Whoa. Do you see why that's so awesome? Because having that belief that I need a man to take care of me is doing the exact opposite. Exact opposite your, like, living small, your playing small because you don't you don't really need the money. Teoh. You know you don't need the success to have a roof over your head, and that's because it's a language that you use. That's what's most important to you is like, as for us, financially is having that roof over your head, right? Yeah, right. And so now you're not being the person you were meant to be in this world helping people tell me one more time the the language used, say, warmer time for the money value. Oh, making meaning for people helping people to make meeting for themselves, helping people to make meaning for themselves, helping people to make meaning for themselves, like in their life like purpose or yeah, like turn their meaning around. Right. So for me, it's like I I helped them become the go to expert in their field, too, attract more clients and make more money because I have a television show right, and I I I I have a background in performing are performing arts. So by the time you know, it's like, Yeah, what? I'm sick. I'm only interrupting you because I want everyone watching to notice the difference. What just happened with their body? We're just having with her face what happened with her body. How excited she got, how much passion you had. Yeah, because you're talking about and look what just happened. Boom. Just went the other way. Isn't that interesting? Because now you're What are you saying to yourself in your head right now? What just made you cry? Um, because I am doing what I love. I mean, there, there, I I know that I can do what I can dio. And what are you telling yourself? You know what you can do, but what's making you cry? Let me give you a hint that I think I think that you're not doing it to the full degree that you could write. You're not helping more people. You're not doing it to the full degree that you could. That's what's making you cry. Someone showed me this, uh, was a speaker. Then keep Cunningham. He's actually the rich dad of Rich Dad. Poor debt like he's the care. His name's keep Cunningham really great guy got opportunity. Do you like webinars and stuff with him And worked with him a little bit, Which was nice. One of the things. The first time I saw him speak, he had the slide come up and it said this hell on earth is meeting the person you could have been. Yeah, let that sit. Hell on earth. Hell on earth is meeting the person you could have been. And I saw that slide had ulterior. I'd why? Why did I get teary eyed? Because I Because I wasn't being that person. As I saw my life and the person that I was being, if I had I mean, I literally I pictured in my mind. I'm like, there I am, You know, 30 years from now or whatever, like I could have had this, like the person I could have been. I see that future of who like how many people I could help millions of people help change their money, help change in relationships, help change their lives. I saw That's the person that could have been and that person was walking on the cloud, meeting the person who didn't get there, the person that was too scared. Teoh get on stage or to take action. The person that was like thinking they're not enough. Not good enough. I'm not smart enough like focusing all on me instead of focusing, focusing on all the people that I could help, that what drove me and a sense of what you need to remember. And that's why you cried, That's what. Well, I think that. And I think that the emotion comes out of feeling that every day, feeling that hell on Earth because I see that person every day. It's just not figuring out how to get there. I don't know the behaviors while you are in the right place, girl. Yeah, it's OK. And if you're thinking that same thing like, well, I don't know how that's why you got a manual. Everything will walk you through it. If you do everything in this and you do it like regularly keep coming back to your gonna discover new things you're gonna grow. And then you go back to your discover new things so that you don't have to have all the answers here. What behaviors? I'm gonna give you daily weekly monthly. Like I'm gonna give you all these behavior. You know what to do with action? Steps to take. Well, what should I believe? Just choose. So what's your new belief? So if I don't need a man to take care of me was at a 10. What's your new belief? I have a word for that. Robin. Yes, I reach using reaches and cool. Thank you. And online. You know, the arch are chatters air having on sharing their own beliefs and stressed says one belief I have too much money is not good for relationships, all sort of relationships with very few exceptions. And then Debnam a is sharing her situation, she says. I grew up really poor, so I tend to believe that things can be different for me and my husband. It's difficult because we work with the poor overseas. So in comparison, were doing amazing. But in our world, we aren't beliefs affecting. Our behavior is so powerful in that way. And then Mia Miata saying now says I am not married yet and money is already stressful. I'm trying to get my finances in order now to prevent having problems later on. Also. Well, thank you so much for sharing. And, um, everybody can relate to that stuff. I mean, maybe a little bit different for you. Um, but what's happened that that dynamic the police force behaviors equals will be your bank account is why you are where you are and what's amazing. Because, like, I just said to Rena, like, you don't you don't have to have all the answers right now because we're going to go through it and you can keep coming back to it. But notice anything that you're like, you notice, like the things that you just said. Write that down and notice how what's you know what's not serving you and what's what is serving you and what's holding you back. So I want to go back to Rachelle because I kind of passed you over because you said everything was a one. So I just wanted, like, test this because, like, I did not get all ones like, I don't know anyone that would want to the world ones. And what were they? Desert one was an 81 was a five OK, give me your eight. Uh, it was It was I think my partner should take care of the money because I'm not good at it. Okay, Cool. So it's kind of a similar thing, but it's a bit different, so I think my partner should take care of the money because I'm not good at it. Okay, Cool. So how is that serving you? It makes me it engine and advance. It's and tantalizes me that the word, it makes me a choice, and it makes me not have to be responsible. Okay, so it takes away the responsibility. Okay, Great. So that's how that's how it's serving you. But how? I mean, so not having responsibility. Not being responsible for that. How is that serving is so that you don't have to have the responsibility like, but I don't have a stress. It doesn't. I won't. That's not really true, because I take care of half the bills when he takes care of half the bill. So what's gonna happen is this conflicting stuff comes out. You. Your your system is like, OK, I'm at a eight on this, and then you give reasons why it's not true. which is perfect because we want to try to annihilate these beliefs, right? But say the belief one more time. Uh, I think my partner should take care of the money because I'm not good at it. Okay, So So a belief. So I'm just going to give you a couple examples and may or may not be it, but like a belief that, um, you know, I'm not good at it, so I think my husband should take care of it, So because I'm not good at it now, how that serving you is that well, you may not have to take care of it as much. You're not taking responsibility. So I agree with you. That was perfect because not having to take responsibility. That kind of gives You're off the hook, right? So you don't have to blame yourself. It's not. If things, you know, if the poop hits the fan, then you Because I was not my fault. It's his fault because he's the one taking care of it. Right? So it gives you an out, right? Lets you off the hook, Then how it's holding you back. Is that Well, I don't know if you have anxiety. Or if you feel good, you don't have the money that you want. You told me you don't have a lot of money. So how is it holding you back by having that belief? Bondage? Awesome. So notice the's. Right. Notice these. Um, if you're thinking like everything's one there no more. Good. You said this is the one you disagree. So you think there are more good opportunity, always, always opportunities because I'm a woman. It's hard to get rich. So you believe that's not true. I don't need to manage my money because I hardly have any. You know, you need to marry. So there's a lot of good things about your beliefs, but it may be just one, and maybe they're not on this list. By the way, this is just some examples, but some beliefs that you have figure out what those are and then go through the steps Like, how is it serving me? How is it holding me back? Um, you could even say this. There are no more good opportunities. I completely disagree. How is that serving me? Well, I believe they're opportunities right. By not believing that I believe instead there are opportunities. How is that serving me? Well, I experienced life like with abundance, because I'm like, Oh, things are just gonna work out. That's serving me. How is it holding me back? I think just another opportunity is going to come and fix my life. You can turn any of these around. They're serving you. They're holding you back. 1259 10. Doesn't really matter. It's just the ones that are stronger. You noticed. Like if you have a lot of ones, I would still challenge you. How is it holding you back? You know, maybe you're just always, like, you know, investing money and things, and you're not getting a return on it because you like it. Opportunity, opportunity, opportunity, opportunity. That's gonna fix me. That's the secret key. That's the magic bullet. Is any of that true sort of, Um, I don't know. I'm just chasing I I had a business for 25 years, and so I had a really comfortable study lifestyle, and then I was in it. I was a pedestrian, a hit and run accident. And so I we can't stand up and do that kind of work anymore. And so I've always had goals. And what kind of work was it? I was I had a catering company and was a private chef. And so So let me pause you there. Okay? This is awesome. So I'm in a challenge that that might be a limiting belief. I can't do that anymore. So you've had a successful business. Just just hold on. Because I know you're gonna want disagree. Your system is not gonna like this. Okay, I'm just telling you, but I'm just gonna challenge you. You had a business. You you had success, right? And then something happened to you out of your control. Which and I'm sorry that you experience that, By the way. I'm sorry about that. But then what happened was you saw that as as, um, as an obstacle. I said on pertaining. What's up? I thought as a change. So it doesn't change. Okay, so I'm just cause I don't know the whole story. So I'm just making guesses here, so forgive me if I'm stepping on your toes, but But what? The one thing you said is that I can't do that anymore. And I know people run catering businesses without actually being the cater, you know, being on their feet. I can't do that because that my company is me. Okay, Good. Okay. So what else? Go ahead. So now I'm so I have always had goals. And so I've taken two years off. My body is now uncooperative. My spine is really come and hurt. And so I've taken two years to try and work with my body to try and heal it. And as I I think I'm enter two on Friday, I'm launching a new business that I don't have to be on my feet with nice. And And how long has it been since you had a successful business and that you're launching anyone? Well, I had I've had another business in between us. So I've had having business. Isn't. Have you been making money? I haven't. I didn't. It's been two years since I've been making any money. Okay? Yes, I had, um So I'm watching this new business on Friday, and I won't have to be on my feet for the extended periods of time. And, um, I have a really good following already and so I don't hold, so I hold and I work like odd jobs. And I'm one of those people. I'm a girlfriend. So you I'm gonna pause it here. When you blew up that balloon, it didn't work and it didn't blow up. And you're like, Wow, this is so true, Right? That represented your net worth. Which means you couldn't get any air in that balloon. Which meant that your net worth is either zero or negative would be my guest, but a somewhat your reaction was like, That's so true. So tell us, Tell us all listening here a little bit about what's going on, What's happening, Like where you are. Where are you financially? Because I see that you're telling us like things seem OK like singing August. Business opportunity, Opportunity. Yeah, things going to go well, right, But what's really going on? What's truth? I've been living. I've been living on disability and it's really tiny, covers my rent. And so I've been working on jobs, doing a lot of a lot of different stuff. Fortunately, I was raised and a really talented family. We have a lot of. I was given a lot of gifts by God, and I can do a lot of different things. So I'm never too far away from a job. Like he said, there are a lot of opportunities, but that doesn't get you your money in the bank. So where you financially? So you're I'm I'm Every month I'm at 00 Okay, got it. So it's not a very comfortable place to be right. Thank you for that. Thank you for that honesty. I know that wasn't easy. And, um, I appreciate you just being open and honest about it. So you have a lot of great empowering beliefs. Obviously, I dio obviously, Yes. And I just want you to find the ones that are, like, really holding you back because you no matter whether you're on disability or not, like, obviously you're an amazing woman and you could make whatever you want happen. And I want to know why you haven't I don't want to tell me right now, But my inkling is that the reason you haven't has to do with some of those beliefs. So your job is to find out what are those beliefs? And maybe they're not on this sheet. That's okay. Like I just gave you some examples, but think about what is really holding you back if you're not where you want to be, I don't care if you have a $1,000,000 but if you want five million, you're not where you want to be, right, or if you're you have nothing and you want $2000 like $2000 in the bank would just be integrated. You've got to be true to yourself about what you're believing to be true. That's not actually true.

Class Description

Strong financial management skills are a must-have for a thriving, healthy relationship — but conversations about money can trigger feelings of guilt and anxiety. Simple financial discussions don't have to turn into emotional minefields. Join Robyn Crane and CreativeLive to learn the skills you need to manage your money as a couple, without letting your finances get in the way of your relationship.

This course will teach you everything you and your partner need to know to manage your finances effectively – without stress, guilt, or conflict. You’ll learn concrete tools for communicating about finances openly and honestly. You’ll also build strategies for recognizing and correcting flawed beliefs about financial management. You’ll explore why money issues are among the most common reasons for break-ups and divorce, and learn how to safeguard your relationship against the friction financial disagreements can cause. You’ll also create a concrete, easy-to-implement system that allows you to achieve financial health by playing to your and your partner’s strengths.

You’ll leave this course with strong personal finance skills and an understanding of how to collaborate with your partner to work toward a thriving financial future.

Reviews

shellilouwho
 

as a participant in the course, and now a week later, going back thru watching the videos, following along with the book, doing the homework again, i have to say i am still 1000% overjoyed that i put my business launch on hold to attend Robyn's course and Attend to my Life and my Relationship and put them first for the first time in my adult life. i went into this with an open mind, believing whatever i got out of it would be greater than what i came into it with and by the end of the first day i felt like i had won the lottery! i was terrified to sit down and figure out our net worth, believing we were Billions of dollars in the red. but lo and behold, when i just put the battle ax down and did the work it turned out our assets had us sittin' pretty. Imagine my shock! my entire outlook changed, my beliefs were able to shift and i've been able to make grand changes in the way i deal with money in even the smallest of ways since then. i found that piece to be so phenomenally empowering habits i thought i'd never break are totally conscious decisions now, before i reach in my wallet i ACTUALLY THINK do i WANT to spend this on that right now? or would i rather SAVE it for later. I don't even have to have a goal in mind. the image of our assest growing is a serious turn on! Robyn's light hearted approach really brought my guard down, she gave me facts and knowledge first, when i was handed that 150 page book, i said to myself, "self i said, knowledge, cool." then she walked on stage with her sense and humor and i said, "AND Robyn's funny- BONUS! i'm definitely learning something, let's go!" and learn i did. I'm thrilled at the follow up and i'd say to anyone considering if they should invest in this course, it's unorthodox in the least, and if you're open and willing to do the work, it can, as i am living witness, be absolutely transformative. personally and triangularly- that being between you, your hunny & your money. take it if you dare to break free of whatever bonds are holding you from living with your love in your highest purpose, calling, and love light! If i could gift one thing on this earth this moment to everyone i love it would be taking this course with Robyn. (holdin the space, prayin n holdin the space...)

holisticmint
 

I absolutely LOVE Robyn Crane. What a great teacher. My man agreed to go through the video course and complete the workbook with me based on a clip he saw one clip of the course. We've gone through half the manual workbook and have been able to communicate better outside of the work, already. I am feeling better about talking with my spouse about money than ever, and we're both learning more about each other's ideas about money and our beliefs. Wow. That's an eye opening experience, I thought I knew what he thought about money and goals but I was surprised a lot at the answers he wrote in the workbook. Sharing with eachother is key-- I'm so pleased with the results and we're not even half way done! That you Robyn and thank you Creative Live!