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Money Management for Couples

Lesson 30 of 33

Revisit, Revise, & Recommit

 

Money Management for Couples

Lesson 30 of 33

Revisit, Revise, & Recommit

 

Lesson Info

Revisit, Revise, & Recommit

commit to a vision. What do you want? Really, really simple way to do this. We commit to blank by blank so we can blank Blank totally blank. So for us, my husband especially he wants to have what he says to do what he wants, whatever he wants, whenever he wants it, no matter the cost. That's the ultimate vision. We commit to doing what we want, whatever we want, whenever we want, no matter what the cost. Ultimately, ultimately, that's what we really want. He thought of it. I'm like I like that out more than anything like flexibility and quality of life. That's all I really need, already have most of it. A few little things help more people. Main thing. Another goal we have. We commit to winning the money game. You don't have just one vision money as you want. What's winning the money game? When you're passive, income exceeds your expenses. The money game, you're playing a game. It's just a game. Have fun by when we said we commit toe Winning the money game by December 11th likes two th...

ings on his birthday 2019 so we can help more people so we can. What's most important is helping more people be so easy to win the money game. We're just helping more people. By the way. I'm reading. Do you notice? I'm reading here. I'm reading my notes. Do you know why we revisited this last night column? Every night. Calm every break. What can I do? Better God help more people. Oh, that's good. That's good. I'll do that. Okay. Good, good, good. Awesome. I talked to him because where I was like Okay, we're going. I'm going doing this. I see. What should I change? Here's all this amazing feedback. He pretty much has done this whole course. You just don't know it, but we wanted to revisit it and revise it because we're always changing in. Well, I can't. That's what we want. Toe win the money game. Great example. Tell him that, you know, awesome. Commit to a plan. By the way, this is in your manual vision is on 1 26 It gives you two two parts, right? Just due to 22 drafts. You want to keep making it better commit to the plan. Um, Arvid, do you have the You have paid 1 27 open by chance do now on the top. It says to a plan. Can you read for May, please? Nice and slowly so everyone at home can hear you. What does that say under to a plan? Revisit, Revise, Recommit. Oh, great advice. So you have reminders in here and I keep telling you that because if you're anything like me like to make things perfect, do it perfectly and you don't have Teoh. You just have to do it. Don't let perfect get in the way of possible get it done. What does it say here? It's important for you to develop habits and rituals that will help you constantly improve and grow. Grow your money and your relationship. I'll read that again. Since I've loved it is important for you to develop habits and rituals that will help you constantly and constantly improve and grow your money and your relationship without the proper revisiting, revising and recommitting both your money and your relationship could suffer. That's just a possibility. So check it out. In this section. We will schedule actions for you to take on a regular basis. Get ready to schedule if you have your counter. Take it out if you don't write on a piece of paper's. I know you're not allowed to bring phones in here and let's revisit. Revise me. Commit to these daily rituals. Intentions. Does anyone remember it's on your sheet? What are the three use? Unconditional, uh, unconditional love will accept unconditional acceptance and understanding in understanding. I'm asking you now to plan this. Hey, can you commit to doing that? So what needs toe happen to make sure that you do it? This is the key because it's you might say, Well, I'm not sure how to schedule something that happens every day. Maybe you need to have a reminder that pops up every morning when your alarm goes off and it says intentions, rules, questions. Or maybe one day it says unconditional of unconditional acceptance understanding just to remind you. And then you just commit you say today. Don't worry about Tara. Today I will be unconditionally loving Today. I will be unconditionally accepting today I will be understanding. Get through the day. Just have those intentions. Cool. What are the rules? Thank you. Who has, um take out your map. Check it out. Nurture. Don't mag. Admit your mistakes. Don't fix your partner. Know, judging. No blaming, no excuses. Awesome. If you don't like those rules, make up your own. Do what you need to do so that you are successful has to resonate with you. You don't like my rules? Use different rules. I don't care. But the real kicker here, What you're scheduling, you have to figure out how am I gonna make sure that that happens? What is my success? Formula? It's your personal success formula, Erica. What do you think would be a good success formula for you to remember? The intentions rules, and I'll teach you the questions in the site. So success formula like you explain that for the intentions is being in the morning. You say that? Is that that's an option? Yes. Yes, you are correct. Um, I like maybe having this in a little frame by the front door. Perfect. That's a great idea. And how hard is that? Super easy. So print it out, frame it. You can do it on a map. But you could probably just, you know, make a little like you know, those cute things where you just have words on um, you know, it looks kind of a nice little Sure. That's how you doing it. Yeah. And it's just, like, you know, unconditional love. Unconditional acceptance, understanding. That's perfect. So then what you need to schedule is making that happen. So I'm gonna put my schedule by next Friday. I'm gonna make sure that's printed out and in. Ah, you know, in a nice frame or something like that. That makes sense. Cool. Let's take a look at the map. What did we just do? First, you need to be committed to whom you commit to each other, right? Then commit to a vision. Okay. So what did you give me A vow? Someone who has Ah. One handy. Anyone already set him. But let's put on the map. Committed to total transparency. Total transparency. Okay, so you can write it, however you want to write it. I'm doing shorthand here. Total transparency of finances. You can write. I've out have whatever. Whatever works for you. Okay. Did you have a vision? The two of you? Do you have a vision? Good job writing it down, Michelle, I'm gonna let you write, and I'm gonna move over to Erica because I want you to write it down. I'm very proud of you for using a pen girl. Talked about even my favorite pen, which is really on even. This is really a struggle for me. Good. This is your having breakthroughs. I think you told us that during a break, right? Yeah. Okay. Let me share with you. So you know the joke back home. So Michelle was saying that she has, like, she really doesn't like to write in books, especially with a pen. And when she went home that day to talk to our bit about the course and how awesome it is and told him all these vulnerable things he grabbed the book and grabbed a pen and started to write. And she was like, No. And she goes any wrote with a pen, he didn't even use a pencil. And he's scratching things out. And what did she dio zipped it right? Shouldn't say anything for like the first time. You just didn't say anything. It would be like, you know, she accepted that should unconditional love. Amazing little things, right? Okay. Vision. Who wants to give me a vision? I stole you. I stole your great. That's fine. They're totally You are allowed to steal of winning the money game. Yeah, it's a good one, right? It is to win the money game by Wen July 4th by July 4 19 Perfect. So you can what? Make the world a better place? Make world. You wrote it down, right? Yep. Daily. What did we just do? Intentions, rules, questions. I'm gonna tell you the questions in just a minute. I think it's after the map. Let me double check. Yeah. Oh, that's intense. Here we go. Intentions, rules to remind you and questions. Let me go to questions that Okay, you already have that. That's just a review. Just want to make sure you saw it. So I just All I did was just go through intentions, which, you know, they use the rules. Go back just to say the rules. Nurture, Don't nag, Admit your mistakes. Don't fix your partner. No judging, no blaming, no excuses for me. That's in my daily maybe for you, like maybe you have a pattern, just a pattern of running, that you are blaming a lot and maybe it's just it's it's not something you're ready to commit to on a daily basis. Do you have to put it under daily anyone? No, no, it's not my money Map money mastery map. It's yours so you can put these wherever you want. It doesn't have to be these. I just want to make sure you have a plan. So here's your plan. And if you if you want to do different, plan to different plan, but make sure you schedule it, so we're scheduling it. So this is daily. So those things that intentions in the rules, that just to something you need to be conscious of you need to be aware of so that you take action. So you have success. What's the A. Abundance and success? Great. Awesome. Hear the questions as I mentioned my husband. I have done this for the last three years. Since 2011. Every single night when we were out of town, we texted or we do it over the phone. Sometimes email. We make sure we do it. It's just this is just a commitment that we decided to make, and we believe that if we say this every night doesn't have to be night but that's what we do. If we say this every night of our lives together, we will always be together. We will always be a focused on what's important. What do you grateful for? You know, I said, I'm grateful to have opportunity to speak it. Creative life. I'm grateful that the people in the audience are awesome and they're so open and honest. The people in home get to learn from them. I'm grateful that my husband doesn't ever stop helping me and grateful that my daughter's coming on Friday. My husband, We're going to camp family camp. It's really fun. We do three things. Sometimes we have more. But typically it's just boom, boom, boom now It was at times when we first started doing this. This conversation would go to like 2030 minutes when he first started. Or sometimes we just have a lot to share. Or it sparks another conversation with what are we grateful for? Creative Live? And then I start talking about how awesome it was, how much fun I had. Can't believe it's already over. Almost right. Whatever it is, it's like now we're focused on being grateful. Sometimes it's longer and then typically, it's very short. Boom, boom, boom. What grateful for? I'm grateful. Those three things I just said. My husband says, I'm grateful for this, this and this. And I said, And what are your accomplishments or what did you accomplish today? Three things. What, three things. And you accomplished the Erica. Well, I think at the end of the day, I'll be able to say I have my money map. Awesome. So let's just say what you already accomplished today. Right now, since tonight you'll be able to say that now you accomplish starting the most money mastery map, right? You accomplish filling out those parts. That's something to celebrate. That's a baby step. You did it especially cause I made you. What else? Um, I have vows. Money vows. I now have money vows. That's a huge accomplishment. How many people in this world have money vows? Probably Plus my husband. That's six. And anyone else has taken this course or learn from you about money about. No one knows the money. Bows are made it up. Now you have money. That's how cool is that. What's an accomplishment? Arvid? Making it here today. I was gonna say you're here. Give him a hand again. So amusing. Made it here. Like what? How amazing is that? So here's what's cool. If you ever get stuck in your like you're so used to not not noticing and not focusing on your own accomplishments. And maybe this is awkward for you and you have toe right now Talk about yourself and what you're grateful for, by the way I'm grateful to be alive would be just fine. I'm grateful I have two arms and none of them have been amputated. Even though I keep using that analogy, What did you accomplish today? I got up. I came in front of the room in front of thousands of people and spoke the truth. Open my heart. I was supportive. I mean, there's a ton. They don't have to be huge. I made my wife a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. That's an accomplishment. Whatever it waas an accomplishment arena. I was honest or I am being honest about myself and my my beliefs and where I have discovered I have fallen short in my self talk and in my conversations and discovering what's holding me back and really, what you've discovered. Not that you've really falled short. You have fallen short, but that you could be even better. I'm just catching you on those things. I do it all the time. That's how I know it so well and so good at beating myself up like Master that. So just cool to start using new language, because when you start catching yourself like you'll start doing it everywhere, business, even when you talk to your clients and your really focused on on even the positive. Okay, great or shell. I think I missed you so far. I was socially responsible, which is something that I'm really trying to be super proactive on. I was socially responsible when my alarm clock didn't go off this morning and I was an hour and 1/2 late and I called Kate to say We're running late, but will be there as fast as we can. And we still got here on time and I didn't get flustered. That's what I accomplished. I didn't get heard. That's huge because I'm guessing from the way you said it that you usually do get flustered. Yes, and I wrote with pen in a book? Yeah, it is of the deceleration. Great. So can you see? I mean, I don't think I have to ask, but can you see how if every night or every day, you say three things that you're grateful for and you say three things of three things that you did to what you accomplished today? Yes. How that could help you and your partner have a better relationship If you're not in a relationship. If you did it to see how that would help your life The let's focus on what's awesome, not what sucks number three. What makes you feel loved? Just one thing here. Just a reminder. And we repeat things. Did I mention makes me feel love when he played with my hair? Okay, so I'm still here. I you remember? He said, man, it seems so contrived. If he tells me what I should do to make him feel love just doesn't feel is good. Well, it's not about you. It's about him. Find out if he told you every single night a new thing that makes him feel love. Do you have something new to do tomorrow? Awesome. And what do you love about me. Hey, don't forget about me a rear. We don't always ask the question. We just say I feel loved when you tell me you love me. Let's say and then I say And I love that you're always willing to help. I love that you're so creative. You don't have to ask that last one. You just kind of say it cause it feels it does feel a little weird to be like you say what makes you feel love? And then if he sometimes forgets to say what he loves about me that I'm like And what do you love about me? Remember, honey? The last part. Great. Will that help your life? Just just asking one more time. Okay. Cool. Do you like him? Yeah, a lot. I mean, you can change him. You can totally change him. But it would be It's just worked for us. Okay. What do you do weekly? Just to remind you the one chow weekly format. So easy. 15 minutes. 15 minutes to just say these things. Great. What? What? Give them a compliment to give her a compliment. How I can raise myself to a higher standard. Me how I can raise myself to a higher standard. What I can do just this week. One thing. Just one thing. It's the one chat weekly format. One action item. You can do him as in many as many things as you want. But I want you just to commit to your partner during this one chat about the one thing, and she can hold you accountable. He can hold you accountable. Hey, you said you're gonna do that not to judge you and get mad. Hey, you didn't do that thing cause there's no blaming or not coming next week. Oh, I told you I was going to do this thing and I didn't do it because that's excuses. Well, those are the rules, right? If you don't do it, fine. Maybe you'll have the same action step next week. Don't make yourself wrong. You just say it plain and true. I didn't do it. I said I wouldn't. I didn't. And hey, why don't you throw another rule in admit your mistakes? I didn't do it, but I'm committed to doing it this week. I'm sorry, didn't get it done. And no one's, you know, yelling down your throat about it. Truth? What are you afraid to say? What don't you want to say? Say that. What do you do, monthly Now? I'm just reviewing, right. You know this stuff? It's all in your manual. Everything we've gone over has four tabs. Really simple goals. Now, we just you revisited goals and you're gonna do it again. And then you can go put those goals on your monthly spread. She your Kim Jim net worth money, mask action. You know, this stuff? Just remind you after you do your money days don't forget. Do something. If you really like, it could be anything. Maybe it's going out. The ice cream. Maybe it's putting ice cream on your honey. I don't know. Reward yourself. Money day. Most people don't do but guess who does do it? Wealthy people. They don't call it a Kim Jin money date. Okay, that's my stuff. But they look at their money regularly. What do you do? Quarterly. We just did this. Awesome. You just did your vows. Every quarter, you gotta mark your calendar, so schedule it. So let's take it out. I forgot to make you schedule it. Jeez. All right. Ready schedule your weekly money. One chat. Sorry. Schedule your one shot weekly format. You already did this, right? You decide a date, right? A day of the week. Best time. Write that down. You can always reschedule it monthly. I think you probably already did this. I'm just reminding you. Schedule it. Well, let's do it. The fifth of the month doesn't have to be the same every time, but scheduled the next one on August 5th. We're gonna meet, have our money date. Maybe you're not gonna have everything done yet. You still need to gather stuff. That's okay. We're gonna meet on January 10th. I don't care to schedule it. Got it. Quarterly. So you got to go through your calendar and be like, OK, this day, And then three months later, make sure you always schedule at least the next one, right? Because once you've done it, then you schedule the next one. You've done it. Schedule the next when you don't have to schedule all at once. But make sure you scheduled do the next one. All you need to do this could take five minutes. This could take two hours. It's up to you. Go over your money vows and my cool with these vows. So I want to change him at all. Maybe I feel like, you know, I wasn't able to do that. I want to feel like I'm totally committed. And so you just change him. I vowed all we talked about money. Make it easy. You can change him. And if you don't change them, say them to your partner at a minimum quarterly, because maybe you live it. But wouldn't it be nice to hear those vows? What if you exchange your your actual vows every single every single quarter? We don't say that very much anymore. Right? Vision. You can always be changing it. But even if you don't change it, make sure that you look at it. Oh, yeah, We want him in the money game. The vision is we will win the money game by july 4th, 2019 so we can make the world a better place. All you have to do is just keep this as a reminder. Easy plan. Just look at this. This is my plan. Whatever your plan is, whatever you decide, whatever you committed to is this still my plan and maybe the dates that you gave just it didn't work or you need toe. Revisit that. You need to change it, change it. Great opportunity to do that quarterly. And the last part is your annual review every year. Schedule it. Maybe you want to do it on your birthday? I don't know. Maybe you want to do it January 1st. Doesn't matter. What do you gonna dio? You're gonna just have an annual review. Now if you're doing I didn't talk about financial planning, but if you have a financial plan, how much you're saving towards what? Your investments, all that bring that into your annual review so that you look at it now, you should look at that stuff every month, like your investments and things like that. Why? Because that's on the money day, Kim Jim System. It reminds you what to look at. You don't really have to remember. You just have to fill it out, All right, But annually make sure you like, look at the big picture. You see it as a big picture and make sure you on track you're doing what you want to do for what's most important to you. revisit your your money values. At least talk about him, Remember? Oh, yeah, we did this. Maybe I want to redo it. Maybe I just want to look at it. And then you measure an improved measure and improved as Aaron improved. Do you know that if you want to fly from California to New York, deal the entire time like 99% of the time? They're off Course. You know that when flying, I think is the same with votes to you're off course, you are gonna be off course 99% of the time. All you gotta dio t make little changes. Just keep adjusting. Keep adjusting. Keep adjusting. Measuring. Improve, measured, improved. That's what they're doing. Measuring improve as they fly. Right. Okay, now I have a question for you. Here we are. Session three. You've been through a lot. Has anything changed? Hasn't everything changed? I need to change that. Has everything changed? Well, your clothes have. That's good. I want you to notice things because if you go through this process and assuming you do go through this process, you're gonna notice things have changed. It's obvious you can look back at the beginning and see the difference on these people's faces. You notice a change, but you can specifically look at your money and emotions. So let's do it. 1 33 in the manual. Okay. These are your money beliefs. Do I have the emotions? The emotions are 1 35 1 35 You haven't a new sheet, the same sheet you've seen before. Now do it again. Circle the emotions you now experience most when dealing with her thinking about money. Really quickly circle those emotions. You're thinking about money. Trickle those emotions we're shell. What have you circled? Excited, happy, confident, hopeful. And I was gonna write down. Thrilled. Thrilled. Good. Right down. Now do you remember from the beginning or can he turn back? I don't know. If you wrote in your manual way back then you wrote in your notes. OK? We'll come back to that. We know. What about you? Calm, excited, confident and peaceful. Okay. And would you right? In the beginning, I circled all of the negative ones. I don't even need to look Okay, so this is really awesome. So and by the way, you might be circling the exact same ones maybe, especially if you haven't gone through this whole process, you might be experiencing the exact same emotions. Or maybe just one emotion has changed. But Farina, you experienced at the beginning of this course, you experience it at the beginning, I experience so the negative emotions that I would experience in dealing or thinking about money where anger, fear, guilt, shame, sadness, dress, worry, anxiety and embarrassment. And now and now I feel well, I want also shared that to like some of the things that I had put a star by of ways that I wanted to be, that I didn't crude Lee that I hadn't gotten to yet were confident, joyful and peaceful. And I had circled, excited, content and hopeful. So now I have calm, excited, confident and peaceful. So I'm mostly there that is so also, and by the way, that's exactly what always happens with my clients. Remember, I said, awareness plus action equals abundance. And I said, Even though I am not pregnant, I still feel abundance. It's like you became aware you took action and now you have this abundance, So new emotions. And even though the money hasn't changed or changed much that happens all the time. It's not like they have that much more money a day later or two weeks later, even if three months later, since I was not that much more money but their their foundation, the way they look at my, the way they feel about money, the way they think about money, what they do about money completely, completely unrecognisable, toe how they were before. I think the biggest part of it, too, is to actually have a plan which I never, ever ever had before. Because people, you know, people don't grow up talking about money. I know you. It's not part of our culture, is not part of our schooling is not part of our formal education. I mean, you go Teoh economics class, which I got a d. And I think I did. I think I seriously did. And but to have this plan now so valuable and so thank you for that. Thank you for filling it out and taking action. Awesome, Herschelle, Just to come back to you. What? What emotions did you have circled before? I had to make up my own? I wrote insecure, lacking failure, tenuous and frightened. Is this transformation or what? Holy cow. All right, identifying your beliefs. What? I'd like you to dio. This is in your manual on page 1 33 Your money believes it says retake the quiz to find out if your beliefs have changed. Do these questions again. Don't look at your old answers. Do these questions again and identify your beliefs.

Class Description

Strong financial management skills are a must-have for a thriving, healthy relationship — but conversations about money can trigger feelings of guilt and anxiety. Simple financial discussions don't have to turn into emotional minefields. Join Robyn Crane and CreativeLive to learn the skills you need to manage your money as a couple, without letting your finances get in the way of your relationship.

This course will teach you everything you and your partner need to know to manage your finances effectively – without stress, guilt, or conflict. You’ll learn concrete tools for communicating about finances openly and honestly. You’ll also build strategies for recognizing and correcting flawed beliefs about financial management. You’ll explore why money issues are among the most common reasons for break-ups and divorce, and learn how to safeguard your relationship against the friction financial disagreements can cause. You’ll also create a concrete, easy-to-implement system that allows you to achieve financial health by playing to your and your partner’s strengths.

You’ll leave this course with strong personal finance skills and an understanding of how to collaborate with your partner to work toward a thriving financial future.

Reviews

shellilouwho
 

as a participant in the course, and now a week later, going back thru watching the videos, following along with the book, doing the homework again, i have to say i am still 1000% overjoyed that i put my business launch on hold to attend Robyn's course and Attend to my Life and my Relationship and put them first for the first time in my adult life. i went into this with an open mind, believing whatever i got out of it would be greater than what i came into it with and by the end of the first day i felt like i had won the lottery! i was terrified to sit down and figure out our net worth, believing we were Billions of dollars in the red. but lo and behold, when i just put the battle ax down and did the work it turned out our assets had us sittin' pretty. Imagine my shock! my entire outlook changed, my beliefs were able to shift and i've been able to make grand changes in the way i deal with money in even the smallest of ways since then. i found that piece to be so phenomenally empowering habits i thought i'd never break are totally conscious decisions now, before i reach in my wallet i ACTUALLY THINK do i WANT to spend this on that right now? or would i rather SAVE it for later. I don't even have to have a goal in mind. the image of our assest growing is a serious turn on! Robyn's light hearted approach really brought my guard down, she gave me facts and knowledge first, when i was handed that 150 page book, i said to myself, "self i said, knowledge, cool." then she walked on stage with her sense and humor and i said, "AND Robyn's funny- BONUS! i'm definitely learning something, let's go!" and learn i did. I'm thrilled at the follow up and i'd say to anyone considering if they should invest in this course, it's unorthodox in the least, and if you're open and willing to do the work, it can, as i am living witness, be absolutely transformative. personally and triangularly- that being between you, your hunny & your money. take it if you dare to break free of whatever bonds are holding you from living with your love in your highest purpose, calling, and love light! If i could gift one thing on this earth this moment to everyone i love it would be taking this course with Robyn. (holdin the space, prayin n holdin the space...)

holisticmint
 

I absolutely LOVE Robyn Crane. What a great teacher. My man agreed to go through the video course and complete the workbook with me based on a clip he saw one clip of the course. We've gone through half the manual workbook and have been able to communicate better outside of the work, already. I am feeling better about talking with my spouse about money than ever, and we're both learning more about each other's ideas about money and our beliefs. Wow. That's an eye opening experience, I thought I knew what he thought about money and goals but I was surprised a lot at the answers he wrote in the workbook. Sharing with eachother is key-- I'm so pleased with the results and we're not even half way done! That you Robyn and thank you Creative Live!