How's everybody doing out there that was really depressing focuses nine am how you guys doing? Good how's, internet world doing people write how people in the cubicles doing make some noise, I used to work it until I know how that goes. Um, so, you know, I'm chief symbol obscene dot com number fourteen mint dot com number thirty eight facebook I've had a lot of failures, and I've had a lot of successes and for some reason that's what people always want to hear about their like, man, I tell me about the things that suck about your life and all the failures you had, and and I think it makes people feel better so that I can actually start accomplishing what they one realize that it is very common to have fear. S o this presentation, I've been avoiding it for about giving I think about three, four months now is when we started talking about doing this and I spent the past three months and three weeks avoiding it that sound familiar to anybody else, not kevin, the trump controllers fearless...
on and so I you know, I spent I literally aboard, I did anything else I could to not be doing this presentation, so, uh, I grew a beard, right? I mowed the lawn uh, what else? Iphone rolled? I vacuumed anything else I could but actually talk about fear because I was afraid of it. And then last night I'm having sushi with my buddy anton and he's like, how you feeling about tomorrow and right now, he's? Like how you how you feel about I was like, I'm nervous, man, I'm nervous, right? Because we all face here and fear for me is doing this presentation and every time that I've gone and face to fear and gone through that uncomfortable heartbeat because I know what I'm talking about afterwards I was like, well, that wasn't so bad, right? You know, anything you like all I could do presentations in front of internet or the studio audience here, it's only eight people. I like pigs. That's not prices, right? So, you know, actually, even one of the funny things I went to therapy for two weeks just to talk about this, right? That cost me almost four hundred dollars, just to prepare how to talk about fear. Uh, and so we spend. I think one of the biggest takeaways is we spend so much more time resisting the things first, just doing him, and when you finally stepped the plate, you do it. You realize it's, not that bad, and obviously that sounds so easy or you just but it's those moments that you kind of embraced that and you and you fight it, like a few months ago, I'm very uncomfortable being naked. I'm not gonna get naked, and I think that's what they said, no, no, be naked on stage, but I am uncomfortable. I've always been that's why, starring boxers in junior high school and, uh and so I decided to do naked yoga. You guys all from here with us? You were there, bro? No, um, you held my hand was nice, so, you know, I'm outside this place, I've never done it, and I walk inside clothes and everybody knows each other, all looking at each other, and I was just, like, take her clothes off, right? And so I was the only clothes guy doing naked yoga. No, I'm joking and s o I take my clothes off and I'm still scared and, you know, you start doing poses and then at the end, we did partner poses if you can imagine what a partner posing naked yoga is like. And, you know, after all said and done like, I'm much more comfortable being naked and so it was kind of a realization that experience and other experiences like the more that you kind of embrace that that nervousness and go into it and see how you feel you realize you're still alive and you could do a lot more you can actually see what things I really want to accomplish so if you guys are already when a clap on the count of three and just get it on today guys already internet world ready clapping your cubicles in your home and your boxes wherever you are one two three you know camera all right let's do that one where to meet up near come on girl and I was like one two three okay one two, three that was you we have a guy named chat in the office I won't pick on him but he uh he needs to work on his clapping as well and so let's just get started I want to start embracing some fears so who here in the audience is afraid of public speaking no one no fear you're afraid of public yeah come on stage so what I need you to do so there's only what? How many people are live watching this? Many? Many many isn't like thousands of five hundred my mom is watching in me mom mom what gosh that's a lot of people grow no pressure so there's a lot of people watching this is going to recorded showing to probably been more than thousands, so if you mess up it's fine, uh then why? Why you scared of public speaking? Attend to check out what you're looking at, look at the audience, talk to them, you know, you took up alive, I think, and I'll start thinking, you know, a couple of ways down the track get a bit taught math, right? And you start to feel a bit hook. Yeah, and so I kind of have you practice it if you don't like public speaking. Yes, I've done some presentations and what I've found is recording myself doing it and then watching it back and trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong, okay? And then fixing that for next time is anyone really scared of it? I don't think you're super scared, betsy no one here scared needa, no audio loving and I want I want tears, betsy betsy, that looks a little more to me than you do a really tough guy that's come on, stage get little he's too he's not intimidate of anything betsy said she's she's fearless I'm gonna bring her on stage. I think it's got a little interesting, okay, um, I'm assume a teacher, so I don't know I'm not I mean pallotti's but soon buds the news I guess you like the bar thing anyone so that's that's hearing those thousand people watching enough to see if you can read that out and face your minor non fear of public speaking about that was the way you live you know, having planned as much you know they're watching oh, I know I'm just reading like you just want me to read green ok hello thousands of people watching live I'm scared of public speaking and overcoming a fear right now noah says that this is bad and this is good and he's going to cancel the show I know it's different no it says that this is bad he's going to get that you're speaking is bad we're gonna cancel the show ok? Noah says if this is bad is going to cancel this show wait scratch that is that this is your handwriting isn't hard to read screw that I'm a bad ass all right thank you that you could keep it a secret I don't buy that was horrible all right the rest of the day will be live orange alright let's let's make it let's let's kick it up a notch who's afraid of heights everybody's afraid of heights? No one's afraid of public speaking? How afraid of heights for you uh I won't take an elevator I won't go to the edge of the building coming on saying tio every public speaking but I'm you work in air traffic control, bro I tell her all day all right, so tell me tell us a little bit the fear of heights I won't walk to the edge of anything not like this is doing no that's fine but I'm talking I won't look anything over if the fall will kill me I won't look over it okay so how high is that? Uh let's call it twenty feet I wantto up a letter how do you feel it is it like make people nervous? Yeah, yeah it's pulse up false elevated yeah, I can feel it. So this bill how tall is this building? Fifty feet. This building? Yes, these buildings at least fifty feet high and so we've been able to do is get them to set up a bungee jump you know won't happen. You sure about that? I'm one hundred percent positive way. All right, so we don't have any height we actually don't have a bunch of but I want to say it's a job thank you so there's no heights but it was just a thing there's different fears and I think that's the one thing I want to talk to you guys about the fear starting a business is one thing but there's other fears just in your daily life and we'll talk about that later that also hold you back so it's the overall practicing of overcoming your fears like even getting on stage and feeling a little nervous and realizing ok, I did it I can do that again like I'm sure you guys will be more you'd be more comfortable but once you actually go into maybe ten feet bungee jump or you do a little bit like all right now starting the business which I'm not as familiar with practice last one so who's important to someone here and you haven't told them how much they mean to you take a second you guys can think about this online in the chat room who in your life have you who's meant a lot to you and you haven't told him that no one wants to weigh up to four oh, I was my actually my dad come on stage so we're saying my parents similar okay? Um uh yes. What is it about that? Oh, um just felt by history with me and my dad. So it's it's very difficult to be vulnerable with him. So it's it's hard to say those touchy feely things with him? Like what kind of thing would you want to say? Like, just even tell him I love you? I mean we don't you don't say that you went out um I think it's just ah, habit really that we've developed over time that we just don't break we just don't know and so if you would let's say he's outside the store here what would you want to tell him? Um I would I would just say you know I love you and um you don't know how much I appreciate your presence in my life your encouragement, your constant support I mean, I know that you don't say I love you but I know that you do love me so I was saying on what's been holding you back from telling that um I don't know I just can't get past um the I guess the relationship that we've had has been so it's been so non was been actually kind of combative for most of our life so um I guess that's why? You know we usually don't see eye to eye and we usually but head so how would you feel about calling him now facing it? Um that is a very I don't know, right? I mean, yeah, not everyone has to be on stage, but if this is the same for the people in the chat rooms or myself, people realize that way haven't told him maybe not being my father passed away two years ago uh so we don't get the chance to tell them my mom did certainly that too, but you have your phone here yeah yeah I do yes I do want to get your phone okay it's in my pocket because of brian resonated with a lot of people there's a lot of people here saying that parents and particularly people his parents have passed and they didn't get the chance does so you get a lot of people on your side you find other people cheering cheering yeah yeah that says I want to hug her right now so the people are with kevin everybody we'll do it your way do live everyone in washington which is no pressure obviously you want a chair mmmm no thank you if anything leave a voicemail maybe to start I could do that but let's not hope no no text messaging I miss you a lot of internet great hugging happening right now. Thank you. Hi is the other ok my brother is getting him I have no idea what I'm going to say ciccolo probably first good idea. Oh, he left okay. Okay. Thank you. Bye. Put it together. She called together during the break you mccollum maybe we can come back and check that out if you feel comfortable. Yes. So yeah before you kind of go hold on how did you feel like you're not doing the call? I felt I felt nervous about it but I also felt like a relieved that I was going to get it do it yeah all right, put it the other one more time. Everybody online on what's your what's your twitter handle with the twitter handle games what your twitter handle oh it's r e s h a n gray already message and this or billy b I a lie like that? Yes. All right, everyone follow her online, give her props, get some love she faced a challenge. It's really, really hard that's got to be especially for something you haven't done a long time ever, so no, I would just love to give you some additional feedback that government from the internet. First of all, everyone was definitely on the edge of their ceo fighting, but I really love what seems comment who says is, um says that you've already said what you have needed to say just by making the phone call. Um and that also was that there was another one it that you've already just making that call is it is a step huge step. Thank you for doing that is all, you know, it's interesting it's inspirational for everybody to see that I know for a lot of two thousand twelve I was very depressed and I can share all sort of those things a little bit later in this segment, but one of the best things that started happening was just freeing myself and facing those kind of challenges of people I didn't really want to be around work I don't want to be doing the body in the life I was I was living and every time I started kind of like cutting the court of different things I was just a little bit lighter and a little more free and then you start realizing, wow, I could do a lot more things and there's a lot more things I want to do um and so the legal team would not allow me to dance on stage if you want to go watch me dancing so this is a fear that I have faced being naked and being a dancer all I can ever do is slow dancing that's my specialty in junior high school is that all I did on dso one weekend a few months ago I went and faced my fear legal team said I'm too good of a dancer can't show it to you but you get a bit lee slash no dash dancing and it's yeah it's bad it's about it's like one things where I don't want to watch myself and overall I think the key takeaway that I want you guys to really get from just doing the the's experiences right in this moment is that when you start practicing the fears you start getting a little uncomfortable you start freeing yourself some things that have just been holding you back right and then you actually realize like wow I can do a lot more and so think about it like going to the gym you go to the gym or you do the same activity you're not going to get any results it's when you start changing things up you start mixing things up and trying something new they like oh wow I can go a lot further so here's what's gonna here's what's gonna go down today a lot the whole thing is overcoming your fear to get what you want and I know if you saw the original site but it's me trying to jump and get a taco that's what I really want taco del uh it's not about fear no one wakes up it is like oh, I'm excited for fear today no one buys things because they want to be afraid maybe during halloween we dio uh the key thing is about what do you really want and asking yourself that question and exploring that question aa lot of times in my life you know it's a lot of the ego I think I want this but it's probably more what other people expect of you and we'll explore some of those scenarios but it continually asked I literally pay god two hundred bucks a week and all I do is asking what I want and then he just listens to me till I just tell him what I want and then he repeats it back and I just give you twenty bucks that's a little weird next I think I just recorded get an iphone app um well the point is is that we're not it's not necessarily about fear today that I really want to encourage you guys to be focusing on it's what do you really want and then what's holding you back from getting that is it a relationship is it your health is it like you have an expertise in one specific thing but trying something it was a little bit different right and it's not perfect you're not the expert and so how do I start on a small scale to actually feel comfortable doing those things um so here's the way it's going to be breaking down today we're talking about living fearlessly doing some exercises like we did today we're talking about self wealth and love basically what I've realized is that your life is kind of a triangle and it's your health that's important which is yourself it's your love which is a relationship in your work and if any one of those pieces is out of whack everything comes down like if you got a negative nancy around you it's going to be really hard to feel good at work and not be distracted and I went through this all last year I'll show you specific things I did and how I overcame them thirty psychology of business just how is it? How do you get in the right mind set where you're not afraid we're not a want open your where you don't use limiting words and then fourth we're going to start some businesses today, so a lot of this is going to be helping people start businesses in the psychology to get you in the right mindset so specifically stories, tactics, meat I like meat and action and that's really what I want to get out of today for you what? Your eyes watching and in the live studio audience. So wear your ass for somebody from where the farthest unique is person where you got you guys are all from, like most of california new orleans where the coolest places that people in the chat room are from. Well, tell us again earlier we had italy. I've had nairobi nairobi talk. Someone is up at midnight in bangkok. Uh, we have belgium. We had belgium. Ok, cool. Nairobi, nairobi, nairobi. Uh, um so you know, we're gonna have crack out now they're coming to krakow, poland, rotterdam, the netherlands do the inter webs everywhere. A mia is asia, israel, israel. Okay, we have marion who's from austin, texas, represent, but she moved to bucharest good enough, so we'll take her on so what we're gonna do I just talked about the life framework this is copied from a buddy of mine named neville and everything is a copy he's a copywriter and so I want everyone it's in your resource section somewhere on the web screen and then you guys have in your clipboard let's get it out uh and so this called the life framework and basically when you start actually what I've what I've really found really powerful is becoming aware of where I am in these three pieces helps me focus and improve whatever is holding me back and so the three pieces or your wealth health and your love your wealth is your job your health is yourself and your love is your relationships and basically I want everyone now will take some time for each one just right where you think you are in your life with each of these different categories so if your health is if you like on the man on the woman uh five if it's you know I'm fat I'm tired I'm lazy one if your wealth is you work in a cubicle maybe work like me at intel and you hate it to uh and you know maybe love like do you have great relationships with your significant other with your friends? Are they making you better there making the same and they making you worse all right? Maybe now they're like twenty seconds this'll I've things like right on on your sheet you have a cz well what's one thing you could do so look at the different ratings if you're five on it done right but if anything is like one or three focus on that and see what what is one thing you could do today or this week that would help you improve that so take some time to write that out and then we'll actually go through some of the audiences ourselves mine and as well as the studio audience youtube did you already know all five no and if you don't have it, just get a piece of paper out right? Well, health love and then write yourself where you where you are right now and then we'll do below it is what is one thing you could do to improve that so the key thing why actually you know it's like guys getting all emotional with us already? Um it's not about being hippy dippy not be emotional. A lot of this is tied to like living a better life and living a full life that's what I found for myself and you know I'm going to get a little more in the story, but when any of those pieces down they dragged the other two with it, so if your work sucks, I'm guaranteeing your personal you're like yourself and your relations were going bad when you have a significant other that's really kind of a nag um, it's going to hurt your business, you're going to go to work and be distracted. So let's go through, um, you know, let's, go through some of the audience who here is that a one or three on wealth? Damn what's going on? I'm at a number one. Yeah, I'm in pretty rough shape. Just let it looks like three dollars and fifty cents in my bank account. Yeah, it's, pretty bad and it's been that way for a few months now. I got out of a relationship three months ago with a woman I've been with for three years, and it was a co dependent relationship, and we kind of ran each other into the ground. And so it's kind of one of situations where I'm just slowly trying to rebuild. So yeah. So that's in your love no that's in well, what's I thought you said wealth. Yeah, well, so you're well, this low you finally break free from our relationship? Um, well, it was kind of a mutual decision is very different problem most difficult things I've ever done. Um, we both decided that it was just we couldn't take it any further, we're both gonna end up god knows so I just got on a plane, took two bags and ended up in the bay area, staying with friends. I've literally have two bags of stuff a computer here we have free food and buy, you know, not much, so yeah, it was it was pretty, pretty dramatic and ridiculous, but yeah, so I think for everyone watching online as well for myself. So how did you make the decision? How did you make the decision to actually say I need a break free from this relation? Well, you know, my entire adult life has been a struggle with self worth having the ability to tell myself I'm worth being unhappy situations very been it's been very difficult, but I came to a point where I was just very unhappy and I realized that crossed a threshold that I'd never crossed before, so that when that instant when I realized that threshold been crossed, it was like the whole I couldn't see the world the same way I just knew I had tio we had to part ways we had to stop what we're doing, and it was just it was it was intuitive, it was just I looked at my life and I was just not happy with where things were going, it was just I felt I'm better than this and had to get so bad to get to that point, it just shows how little I valued myself most of the time, but it was just I did reach a threshold and it was just couldn't take it anymore. Gotcha! Yeah, when it would have you felt really good about yourself? When did you feel really self worthy? Well, again that's been something I've struggled with, ah group with a piece of father and he ah, at a very young age, those programs do not really believe that I was going to ever do anything with myself or have any kind of a life hey certainly didn't, and he was he died young, he actually died when I was nineteen, so it was just I was deeply affected by the those that programming that I received, and I've never really felt that awesome about myself the best what I feel the best about myself when I'm serving people might my I wanted to join the military to serve I love being in families I love helping out. I'm actually staying with friends in helping with their nine month old right now because it brings me the most joy, like when I'm making myself useful that's when I feel the best about myself, I actually made a living as a private chef for awhile I love cooking for people, some of my favorite things to do um so yeah, whenever I'm serving whenever I'm kind of stepping out of my own bullshit and talking to people and understanding that everybody has a life and they need to be taken care of him I'm very good at loving people it makes you feel very good so that's that's that's about hit like turning that backup myself has been the hardest thing in my life yeah, very easy to give it for me but it's very, very hard to accept help it's very, very hard to um it's that that's it I mean it's just very hard toe look in the mirror and like what I see every day and it's not the physical stuff it's just all these meant this mental chatter that has been accumulating over the years, so that was a long answer, so it was really good and now you could say that was it was intense stirred so yeah there's ah there's books we're going give away during it one of them so you know, a lot of us feel the same and I think one thing that I've realized for myself you know, there's a lot of hymns that because other people feel it too it helps me feel better and I think is there anyone here on the charm that's never that never that's always felt perfect that's never had a question of their self worth anyone no, not finding anyone online right the way through the show back to wei feel like we might be saying this a lot. But props to you people online are just really saying how helpful it is for teo teo here, somebody opening up like that. People are giving you a standing ovation way standing ovations actually have a let's see something interesting. How many people is enemy here? Live in san francisco? Two three, anybody? The charms of francisco. Do you have a job? I'm working on a business right now and I'd like to talk to you about it today. Let's do that. But what we do right now now, does anybody here like to eat? Yeah. Would anyone like to pay dan to cook for them as he is a private chef that likes to cook food? We kind of food. Do you cook? So I cook my own stuff. And it's, highly influenced by northern spanish cooking half my family's from spain. And I also refuse it with a lot of indian spicing. So it's kind of it's kind of my own thing. And it's always worked for people. People always tell me that it's great stuff. So it is it healthier that spent you said, a spanish cuisine, spanish cuisine and you know I love you cooking with butter but I also love cooking healthy stuff as well spanish cuisine is actually traditionally very healthy a lot of olive oil are wonderful things present agree how much would you pay for like a private part how much of a car so private party for so when I used to cook on long island it was cooking on the north shore of long on it on the gold coast so that was hard to come back yeah like a party for what I'm trying to do right now is get someone to pay you to cook him dinner and someone that would be awesome how much would you charge for dinner for four dinner for four so food got this is a hard one I can't embedded this so a dinner for four here I don't know it's hard to say right now but definitely you'd cover food okay a couple hundred bucks of awesome and would you come to their place prepared tell every time I would cook in your kitchen you could play along if you want I'll show you everything that I'm doing I'll talk you through it if you wanted to be an experienced or if you wanted it to be something where you're just so suddenly have offer one of them okay to start that you're one of the common problem and people starting businesses that they get overwhelmed with all the future problems which we'll talk about and then the cost, and they get just distracted by things. So why don't we offer one person two hundred dollars? Party four? You're going to learn how to cook, you get the guy's famous on tv. Now, come to your house is not going to sleep over hey doesn't need a place to live. So I just like to know what your paypal, um, building at going up social going up? Yeah, I like it dot com. So only one though, does anyone here one of dinner in her life? Yeah, some your online people think that two hundred for party of four is a bargain. Yeah, so I get it will come back and announce. I mean, I actually did it. They were here when a dinner you don't have to. I don't want you to do unless you want to. You do? Yeah, you're paying right now for as part of his kind of a part of a creative life meeting will hire youto cook for us for the way you've got. You got one with someone with a private dinner and then to you got the creative live normally we don't always have the option have a live show for your businesses I know, but we'll figure it all out don't worry about that um you know, one of the things in business and I don't wanna get sidetracked is that most people neglect the people they have around them and I'm sure dan already has friends in san francisco he knows people that are working in san francisco he could go do this cooking now within his own network right and do something that he enjoys and he's good at it he could serve people um you know and I think a lot of time back to self worth a lot of times when I feel you know businesses and going well or I'm not good at things I just try to start to go backto one I go back and just help one person and even kind of talking about this presentation I'm like can I see the effort for the frick m I uh that's that words okay? Right? Fun creek my mom and you are watching so I try to be mildly vulgar um and when I when I question my worth or like yesterday night, I'm nervous or this morning woke up at five a m in like I had a fear I'm afraid right now like and I just try to come back to like I'm going to share my story and work with you guys and things you do and try to have a good time right and then when you start facing it then I'm like creative live not let's do like the stadium's right let's do concerts um so you got some cooking yes please I just wanna make sure in addition to this email address people online are asking where where they can find you with the best like what's your twitter handle at dan hamid o d a n g a m I t o g a m yes and so if you're out there wanting to start a business or question yourself worth how do you go on just do one thing that would make you feel better and start small obviously like a two dollar dinner and you're not going to live on credit live but to start small gold make one friend dinner does it and ask that friend hey I'd love to have a party can you invite ten people over charging fifteen dollars that's it and that's where it all starts somewhere the thing so I guess on your well thing you probably have dinner here and then you gotta you gotta go talk with brian to set up a cooking for here as well yeah that's also I don't even know to say that we would be so thrilled how you feeling how do I feel right now uh like on a scale from one to ten from what I felt twelve seconds ago like a ten I'm just so thrilled like the beginning any feedback from the audience at all or just the fact you just did that is so awesome you did that I just wrote it down yeah well ok, well you're good at writing yeah um and so I think a few things just for people in the audience online as well as here on we'll talk about this a little bit more as we progress but one notice the words you're using this is something I've read it like the art of happiness there's a book called the talking cure which will give away on as well as a book called women who love too much and one of things that have taken away from those reading materials and living that I'm living my own life is that when I noticed the words I'm using like I can't or have been loved and I keep repeating it it's self fulfilling or if you read any ladies here read eat, pray love you talk about when she is in india right there ladies like stop going in a downward spiral stop saying negative things to yourself and even though you know it stuck with me and so it's just being aware of how you're using your words that will empower you to feel better about yourself a swells with your wealth kind of connected to your love section like who do you have in your life that makes you feel better and so what I mean specifically about that uh is that those people in my life that I've generally seen it in three ways binary there's no negative one so every time I hang out with them I'm like like, damn I'm dog you're like a downer, right? Like I feel worse now after hanging out to you or like a zero they're the same you see them last year that you're old friends, they have done crap same everytime or plus one right plus one is someone you like to this guy is making things happen now I want to go make things happen and I think about that when I go running right when I've gone running and I have run with you were faster than me I'm like ok and my time is a lot fast just like I did with my buddy chris from whisky a dot com we ran in use like we're new six minute miles I was like, no, we're not I'm an eight minute mile guy bro I don't know what to say, bro, but it's a joke and I went running with him and at that moment I was able to do a thing we did around six thirty or six twenty and so when you hang out at studio who do you have in your life that that makes you better makes you stronger that gives you I actually very fortunate I put a five in the love because I have accumulated some amazing friends over the years through my travels and everything and I've got to say the people I'm staying with right now brad and denise they've helped me so much and denise is one of my oldest friends and their kid he's nine months old and he's like I love him like he's my own and it's just if I don't know where I'd be without him so I've got to say those two definitely on them you know my mother I was a strange from her for over ten years she disappeared when I was nine and then we re appeared about two years ago and we started talking and I really I really enjoyed the time that we spent together and enjoy that I have a relationship with her now um there's just yeah, I feel very fortunate to have those people it's also maybe told him I tell him every day I'm one of those kind of people I'm very affectionate I'm always calling people and telling them I love them and and I've had a lot of loss in my life but I uh I also am very grateful for what I do have and the people that's, where I that's. Why I am where I am today, able to be here, because I love people and people love me. And I love it from roger here. Thank you.