Reading the Audience
Let's switch gears now into how do you read the audience using a little bit this so I'm gonna have each of you come up and you're going to a quick one minute just talk about his hopping and I'm gonna let you pick the topic anything you want work related something you want to promote the charity you care about anything and in that one minute I'm gonna have everybody in the audience including the host and online actually have the online people feed the emotions to the host so I want you to see how well you can read it for example everybody give me face and body language that says you're really confused give me really confused, exaggerated, exaggerated good so if you type in online confused in russ gets it he has to act confused the speaker's job is to assess that and react to that so if I'm presenting point a point you give me your confused a point b wait let me go back over a point a again because I saw that you're confused and I adjusted go back over that if I get one or two people who...
are doing something different so show me with your body language you really agree with what I'm saying all right so we got agreement here we can move on all right give me some of you don't agree at all all right? So a couple people don't agree with that let me tell you let's hear from you why that's not true so we're gonna play a game as you do your quick one minute not everybody will look at a few people to do it you're gonna make up any emotions you want but I want completely exaggerated emotions like characters like a cartoon and online you're going to feed them and russ and john are gonna pick one and they have to act it out so when you're here you have to guess what they are and react to them everybody understand the challenge who wants to go first? All right, jack, come on up when a medical device manufacturer wants to get their device approved, they can't go directly to the fda and say please approve our devices so when you so it looks like we have a bunch of people here confused let me go back and say part off in the united states what's going on is you have to get regulatory approval the government has to say you can manufacture your device before you can paul is right there let's make us even more interesting. You guys are going to pick a word from the online you're going to feed a runner you're gonna tell that person they're going to come up here and write the word up here but the speaker cannot see it so if the word was this confused everybody in the audience acts confused and see if he guesses it, right? I understand the challenge. All right? We're gonna pick up where you started before and richard, you're gonna be the first runner, all right, feed him his word. So as I was saying in the united states, that requires the u s government approval to be able to manufacture a medical device, but the u s government doesn't have all of the experts of all the different devices available, so part of what a company has to do in order to get their device proved is to, uh so I'm getting a whole bunch of reactions here, which I would guess where I'm not sure what people are doing, I'm really not itself one I'm sorry I couldn't I had people, I had a lot of people that I thought were laughing and all right suppose people handle embarrassed with laughter sometimes, okay? All right, good. I want everybody get a turn so brave applause for jacking up who wants to get back now, this time we're going to make it a little interesting is that you're going to get the word fed to you about halfway through, so you're going to your normal presentation, they'll feed a runner, jean, maybe the runner this time. And once you get up there everybody will start to do it and we'll feed it and this time we'll get the word that might have something to do with the presentation. All right, who wants to go next? Come on, richard. Ready? Begin. We have backyard chickens in our backyard and my six year old daughter at the time tiny daughter big guys called cute upsets or sometimes people call acute she goes in the back yard and all of a sudden the rooster starts chasing after her and I go the back door and I see her running through the backyard and the roosters chasing her and roosters chasing her. And when I get the rooster and I put it back in its place and I know it's scary because the rooster is chasing her next give one or two more next let's give a try all right? And then gary, you be the runner ready and begin talking about little kids and my god daughter she was about five and I totally love her she saw appeared and she likes to try new things and she likes to move on she's so sweet and so I thought for she's always thinking about the other person on the other kids if I take them out and I tell them you know you have a treat she'll think about everybody else before she thinks of herself she was about four and she was you know, just doing her thing and I decided to you know it's just anything you don't like my my little e I have no idea what he's pretty close pretty close oh yeah I just didn't feel so how would you handle that let's say you figured out it was doubt or something close to doubt that's a tough one but what would you do with the context he didn't yeah this is all about jiu jitsu you want to take their emotion and use it to your advantage so how would you do if you knew that what would you say wow is with the context is you have to so she always thinks about everybody she's a little kid and she always thinks about everybody else first yeah right give a story about you give a very short parable about where she thought of somebody before herself yeah so no proof point is great but even before then save validate and pivot say that with me validates and pivot use your feet holiday and pivot so I validate the doubt we'll come on kid that always thinking about somebody else come on well I didn't think so either but I saw this example boom you validate what they're feeling then you've got a stronger hold on them so when you pivot you there with you if you don't validate them under we tend to shut down if you tell us we're wrong no audience and no person ever likes to hear they're wrong so you validate doesn't mean you agree but you validate makes sense be worley says I know it sounds unbelievable but or what was the one that was always dream life is saying you look like you're doubting me to ask that but then explain what actually is happening and noodle on it I couldn't believe it myself exactly so these air really good ways to validate now what happens if you have an audience where some people are thinking something's and some others so for example everybody but gary and richard act like you agree you to act like you don't agree so a lot of us agree with that statement a couple of us hey maybe not so sure at all I've validated everybody you validate the group is best you can't there's no perfect way to do it but you're trying to pull everybody in so everybody has the concept of how to read the audience did you have to actively be getting their eye contact trying to figure out what they're thinking and you do this one on one with people all the time but it's using that x ray vision with a group the more you practice that the easier it gets all right thank you lori wanna pause here for questions before we go to our last section think at it speak I want to policy okay all these questions there's lots of other kinds of questions we can ask people online I'm sure we have a lot of experts people communication where all experts were all learners what kind of questions help to diagnose her read a situation to read a person or an audience? What kind of questions do you find really worked best anybody I like how do you feel because that inspires other people to talk about their feeling and not about the situation very good a lot of people who are kind of questioning how well this works in real life to be to be blunt like clara barra what if you start to get snarky answers to your open questions so what isn't going to listen? It elicited a good reaction for me it's going to make me think the askar is being obtuse to make me jump through hoops good one of things is intent cannot be faked I can say all right? Well so what it what's the problem with that or I could say so what either when we can't really fake what we're feeling so in real business to deal with big companies and big dollars they do this stuff all the time what you all pissed off about today? Yeah well they just have a different way to do it you know, what's the problem here so what? I don't care we're just in fact more honest at these things given example, I was in a board meeting and a bunch of big shots on the board I don't know why they let me on the board and one of the staff were coming in to present a summer program for kids and they presented this plan of what they're going to for the summer and one of our board members was famously grumpy no names said this is boring and the rest of us are like man, even for you that's that's rude and we have got into a bit of a fight with him and we recused the staff member we talked about it and we all finally realize the program it was boring and even though we thought the way he handled it all wrong, the staff came back and they came up with a much better idea which much better program so was he right to say he was that it was boring or not right really he was right nearby way to say it, but he was right sometimes breakthroughs follow breakdowns when we're mohr honest with our emotions with leads to more breakthroughs when we pretend to feel things we don't really feel you can stay in the state that you don't necessarily want to stay in was that have to do anything I don't know I just think it's interesting our life way we've scrolled past it so far that I can't read oh, here does jam photo I have a master's in psychiatric counseling and this is literally the exact same things we're taught to do in a counseling session. It really is people want to be heard and valued and I think that what you said about uh you know if you want to make people think you care about them actually care about them totally applies to this you're you're right, you can't fake that you just have to really do it and think that thought that my angela is that great quote doesn't matter what you say doesn't matter what you do, what matters is how you make people feel classic example I made breakfast and I like to read the sports section at breakfast and my wife's talking to me and she said you're not listening to me and I repeat back word for word exactly what she said but I still get in trouble why? Because you're not showing but I proved that I was listening I repeated word for word why would I still be in the doghouse? Because she wants your attention, which is that the newspaper the test is whether they feel heard those two words you were you were taping the words but you weren't listening to the words even better analysis it doesn't matter what you say doesn't matter what you do repairs is one of the best I know he makes people feel valued makes people feel heard and that's a skill superpower we can all have but you can't fake it that's some of the properties actually sharing with us another thing is how you make them feel perception is their reality all right last reality let's do one of the most powerful techniques called think at it speak I'd like who has not been on stage recently all right, we test come on out bring your questions with you and gary why don't you come with protests this time? I want whoever's birthday is closest to today of the two of you will go first so you guys partner up richard wants you come over here with shauna and you guys have a seat whose birthday is closest to today raise your hand. Whose birthday's closest today raise your hand of the two of you whose birthday's closest today, june what are you okay? Okay, birthday children, you're gonna ask the question so you have the cards in your hand right now. Right now I want a normal conversation and you asked the question to answer and you're practicing all of your good techniques ready begin. So what business skill? Have you mastered skill of bringing products to market and why? Why is that important? Well, if you're not bringing products to market and selling them there you don't make any money money that's. Correct money. Uh, I understand that the purpose ofthe any, uh, private organization for profit organization is to me. Okay, that stop. Freeze there.