The Art of Persuasion

 

Lesson Info

C3 Leadership

We're gonna talk about what Aristotle thought is the most powerful tool of persuasion. I personally think framing is pretty powerful. We're gonna talk about you now. In particular, we're gonna talk about leadership, and how to gain those qualities of leadership, whether you're in a room, or you're speaking to a group of people. C3 Leadership. So the C-words, I mentioned them before but now we're gonna spend some time on them. Caring, craft, and cause. I'm gonna throw some Greek at you just to show this comes from someplace. Aristotle called them eunoia, phonesis, and arete. You do not have to write this down. I translated it for you as caring, craft and cause. So let's talk specifically about what they are. I did have a reason to mention the Greek part. Because they have to do with something a little bit different from the way we describe these three words. That's why I'm going to spend some time on them. Let's talk about caring. Caring, really eunoia in Greek, has to do with disintere...

st. We are so alien to this term, or the term is so alien to us, that we don't even translate disinterest right. In fact, your computer dictionary will tell you that disinterest and uninterest are the same things. If you're disinterested it means you're apathetic. Right? The original purpose of the word disinterest was to be free of special interests. In other words, independent enough that you could carry out the interest of other people. So you think, Mother Theresa was one of the most disinterested people who ever lived. She was a saint. Now, was she uninterested in her patients? No, she was concerned about their interest instead of her own. She was disinterested. She was caring. That's what eunoia means, disinterest. Really, really important here because it's not just a matter of being disinterested, it's convincing your audience that you have their best interests at heart. So if I said to you, I don't really have to do this. I'm doing this because I know how important it is for you to learn these skills of rhetoric. Because I know you are good people, and I want you to make the world a better place. I'm being disinterested, right? I personally benefit from this because I enjoy it and it helps sell books. So I'm really not that disinterested. But I'm going to try to convince you, or I would if I were trying to convince you, that I have your interests at heart instead of my own. Meanwhile, you're thinking, is he really disinterested? Keep going. That has to do with self-sacrifice, right? How much I'm willing to sacrifice for you. Back in the bright days when parents spanked their children, the classic thing to say was, This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you. Greatest lie in history. (laughs) That is, I'm sacrificing myself here. Because it's really hard for a parent to spank the kid, I'm gonna do it anyway. That is disinterest. This is the expression of disinterest. We're gonna keep going with some of this. It takes a while to get used to this. So the next thing is to show your disinterest by talking about what the other person's problem is, not your own. One of the ways you do not do this, especially if you are a man, is to say to another person, You know what your problem is? (laughs) By the way, when I simply want to annoy my wife I'll do it out of the blue. You know what your problem is? She'll smack me. If I ever want to be smacked, I just do that. So what you wanna do is to simply understand what the problem is, and listen, and then say, This is what I'm hearing. That's a great thing to do, not just in a meeting, but in a relationship. And then say, I think I may have some ways for you to work on this, and let me help you. I'm here for you. That's basically but caring is. I am here for you. And that's about showing deep understanding, and a way to respond to that understanding. That's caring, one of the three Cs. Eunoia, caring. Craft is a little bit easier for people to understand. We're gonna talk a little bit later about how to do kind of a C3 analysis of your resume or your website. How are you going to portray yourself in these C3 terms? In terms of craft, that's generally what a resume does. What is craft? Phonesis is translated from the Greek as practical wisdom. So this has to do with street smarts, but also it has to do with book learning at the same time. So imagine it like a neurosurgeon, brain surgeon, has lots and lots of book learning. Had to read a lot of stuff, study anatomy, and all of that sort of thing. All the learning in the world, and you think who has really the best medical education is probably the most recent one. On the other hand, would you want the youngest, least experienced neurosurgeon to operate on your parent's brain? That's where it's not just your book learning. It's your street smarts, your experience and knowledge, and how it applies to specific situations. I am old enough to have studied Biology in high school in a time where you dissected frogs. You guys didn't do that. Some of you did? Really? Well maybe, okay. Some of you are pretty young to have dissected frogs. Anyway, one of the things that you learn from dissecting a frog, is that no two frogs are alike. It seems like every frog, and I dissected more than one, every frog I ever dissected had organs in all the wrong places. And you know what? Surgeons will tell you that. Humans never have organs in the right place. My daughter is a nurse and she says this. Nobody's parts are where they should be. You know it's funny when you think about this. We're not just talking medicine here. We're talking about life. Every situation is going to be unique. If you apply the same rule book to everything you're gonna screw it up. I learned this the hard way, in having kids. We had the first kid. I learned how to be a parent from the first kid, experimenting on that kid. Then I thought I knew how to be a parent. Second kid comes along, throw out the rule book. Nothing I did that worked for the first kid applied to the second. It's life, that's life, right? So practical wisdom is not just a matter of being able to apply your knowledge and your street smarts and your education to specific situations. It is convincing your audience that you can. So here we're back in the dark art of persuasion, of rhetoric here, which is not so much what the reality is, as what your audience perceives of that reality. So what we're talking about here is tools to convince people you know what you're doing. Not necessarily to know it. Again, it's up to you to use it wisely. Powerful tools. Applying to a particular problem is really important. Because what you can say, whenever you hear a problem, if you are doing a really good practical wisdom thing, the greatest answer that you can give to any problem is, that depends. One of the greatest ways to convince people that you have great practical wisdom, drives people crazy sometimes, but in the long run it works much better, is to say, that depends. So if somebody says, what is the perfect website to use to promote my photography practice? Your answer is gonna be, well that depends. It depends on your audience, right? It depends on the kind of photography. Are you talking about fine art here, are you taking pictures of machinery? It depends. Let me ask more questions for you. Let me be your audience for a little bit until I found out exactly what your problem is. Then I'm going to say, okay I get it. I understand you now. I'm a caring person, so let me talk about the solution to your particular problem. You've gone from caring now to craft. Okay? So one of the ways that you advertise how well you know what you're doing, is you have case studies and endorsements. When we get in, in a little bit, into websites, and promoting yourself, we'll talk a little bit about how to do that. I'd love to be that kind of interactive, because I know that you guys are in this space. Many of you. Then there's cause. Cause is the really tricky one. But again, it can be the most powerful. What do I mean by that? It's interesting because Aristotle's term for it was arete. You ever heard that expression? If you went to study the Christian church or Bible when you were a kid, arete was referred to, and it means virtue. If you look at the old movies of Roman soldiers, they were always shouting, strength and honor. Actually they weren't shouting strength and honor. Their motto was virtue and honor, not strength. Because virtue, vertus, was considered a manly thing. So it's funny, the women acquired virtue around Victorian times and men just completely lost it. (laughs) Don't ask me why. So virtue has to do with understanding certain values, and sharing the same values as your audience. Not only that, but your audience has to believe that you embody those values, that you carry them out. If you look at, there are many politicians, especially these days, in Congress say, who will be very much in support of women's rights and very feminist in their politics, who turn out to be total jerks in their private life. They lose virtue, right? So in one context they may be awesome, in another context they may be unvirtuous. So they've lost their cause. We'll get into cause a little bit more. The other thing that you do, and we talked about this a little bit earlier with framing, you wanna stand for something larger. Going back to GE again, we don't just make widgets, we don't just make things that allow newborns to breathe, we stand for something larger than that, which is the ability for parents to enjoy their children and bring them home, or whatever. Or humanity, whatever your big cause is. This is something that you can do with any kind of website or resume, or even talking to people, is say, Look, I love my work, it's why I do it. But I also hope that what I do does something larger than just simply taking pictures, or doing things on social media, or helping sell stuff. Whatever you do for a living. I want to do something even better. I really believe that when I do my best, it leads to this thing. And the question is, what is that? So you think about what I do for a living. I teach clients how to manipulate people. But at the same time, I deeply believe that the tools I teach of rhetoric actually can help bring groups together, make the world a better place, and save America. And Europe, while we're at it. Maybe China, I don't know. That's my cause. Now, do I really believe in that cause? Am I actually making the world a better place? The point is whether my audience believes it. That's the dark art of rhetoric. I'm going to be talking increasingly about the ethics of this. I want to hear you challenge me now. Some of you look really uncomfortable, and I love that when I start talking about the manipulative parts, because this is a dark art. Standing for something larger means, we bring good things to life. I bring good things to the world because of whatever I happen to be doing. Now if you're in a job interview, it's kind of awesome. We're gonna talk a little bit about this, but I'm going to introduce it right now. Toward the end of your interview, what's great is when the person says, Do you have any more questions or anything? You can get a little emotional and say, Hey, I just want to say this is really important to me. I don't think this job is just about whatever I'm supposed to be doing. But honestly, if I do my best at this job I really believe that this can help me do what your company is doing. Or something, you know, bring in a cause. Get a little emotional. This is really important to me, because it's about something bigger than just this job. We're talking about framing, aren't we? So your cause is a reframe of whatever you're doing. Caring, craft and cause. Let's look at your resume, or your website. But let's talk resumes. Do you guys still, do you have resumes? You all do? Okay, good. One of the great things to do with your resume is to audit it. Do a C3 audit. Look at your craft. That's probably what's gonna be stronger. Now look at what's weakest. And you think about this. Do you have a line at the top saying what you want? Like, seeking whatever you're seeking? Do you want to talk about that? You guys want to say what your resumes try to do, or do you want me to keep going? Okay, we'll keep going but think about your own resume, and bring up a question or something. Start thinking really carefully about what you're trying to do. One of the things you might want to do at the top is not to be too hyperbolic about it. Don't exaggerate and don't sound like P.T. Barnum. What you want to do is not just photography in a specific area, or creating websites in a particular way. But you wanna create websites or photography that change people's visions of whatever field you're in. You take, through your technical practice, through your expertise, that's your craft, you really want to help people see things differently. That's one way to establish your cause. But probably, your cause is missing. The thing is, you don't want to lead people too far here, because they're gonna think you're just getting a little carried away with yourself poetically. So then there's the caring part. Notice I said help people? You can combine the two. So at the very top of your resume you can say, I help people, or I'm looking for a place that let's me help people, or I have this particular service or consulting practice, that allows me to help people to whatever that is. It can't just be fix their toilets. You think about it. So let's get specific here. Let's talk about a resume for a plumber. I'm doing this deliberately because people don't respect plumbers a lot, and they should. Look how much they make. Clearly, we value them. For good reason, because think what we would do without plumbing. All right, so let's talk about the craft part of it. The craft is, I have fixed this many problems. Hundreds, let's say. I have worked for 20 years. I have been trained in these things. I can practice in these particular kinds of plumbing things in various industries and in people's homes. Whatever, that's craft. But the caring part is, I help people not think about plumbing. Wouldn't that be a great top line? (laughs) So that's caring. I help people. The cause is plumbing should be invisible. Don't people get that right away? That's your cause. That's your plumbing resume. Now go out there and be plumbers. We don't have enough in this country. All right, beyond that. Do you want to bring up your particular work, and can we talk about your resume? Are you willing to put yourself on the spot? Let's do it. You are, I know what you are. I'm a pastry chef. You're a pastry chef, which is awesome. Yes, it's amazing. Do you have a resume? Yes I do, but eventually right now I'm working on building up my portfolio on Instagram. I'm hoping that one day that will replace my resume. So instead of telling people what I can do, I can actually show them the pictures, and say this is what I can do. Show, don't tell. Very important in convincing people who you are. That's awesome. You're talking about photography now. Yes, I'm also a little bit into photography. But I'm not trying to be a photographer, I'm trying to have that supplement my other job. To be able to show people better what I can do. Okay, so let's get specific though. What is it that you want to show them you can do? What is it? My skills. Your skills in what? In baking and pastry. Okay, so you're really selling yourself as a baker. Yes. Okay, that's a really hard thing, isn't it? Pastry baking? Yes. Yes, yes and no. I'm telling you yes. I can't do it, so therefore. (laughing) I'll take your word for it. Let's talk about this. What's great is that you are showing examples. That's where, essentially a picture of a beautifully baked, delicious-looking pastry ... Sorry, my mouth's watering, picturing it. Is a case study, isn't it? It's more worthy than a thousand words. It is, but what if you turned this into storytelling? I like it. Okay, what is a story when it comes to pastry? It's a process, isn't it? And it's overcoming certain difficulties. So the typical case study consists of two parts, a problem and a solution. So what's the biggest problem in pastry baking? Biggest problem for me, or biggest problem for you as a client? Good question. Let's talk about, only we're in the craft part of it right now, and you're proving your craft, which we're getting into. So really it's what problems do you face and overcome in simply baking. Never mind the client right now. I'm not sure. Is it accuracy? Well yeah, accuracy, knowing exactly what are doing, and having the time to do it, and having the time to do it properly. So not having to-- Sorry to interrupt you, but you just described everyone's job, right? (laughing) I had no idea I was a pastry chef. Do that again, say that again. What were those three things? So accuracy, not making mistakes, and having the time. Yeah, that's pretty good, right? Okay, especially with a pastry chef, the accuracy is really important. Essential. When you think about accountants, consultants dealing with data, people producing a website where they have to code stuff. And having the time is really interesting. So what do you mean by having the time? Well pastry is the kind of thing that you can't rush, so you have to allow certain things to bake all the way through, and you can't pull it out when it's half-baked because essentially you're going to have to start all over. Your pastry will collapse onto itself. It's not going to be good enough. If you rush the chilling process, again, the same thing's gonna happen. You're not going to get the product off the highest quality that you're looking for. If you don't allow the gelatin to set all the way, again, your pastry, your jelly, is gonna be runny and you don't want it and you have to restart all over. You should teach a Creative Live course in baking. I'm thinking, (laughs) let's keep going. I wanna learn how to do this. You know, what's interesting is that this is so analoguous with so much else that we do. The question is, how do you prove to people that you can do it? You've described some things, very specific problems having to do with your craft. Now one of the things that you can do, if you're talking about a case study, and you can do this visually, on Instagram, which is kind of awesome. Show when things go wrong. A little bit of a caption with each one. You can say, here is what happens when-- I messed up, there it is. Yeah, well you don't have to say you messed up, because you're just teaching. You could deliberately do this. Here's what happens if your timing is off here, or here are the critical ingredients, like if you don't add enough water, or flour, shows you how much-- Flour, water, anything off the proper ratio and it's messed up. And that's just awesome. So one of the greatest ways to prove your craft, and at the same time show what a caring person you are, is to teach. So I really didn't realize this. I'm a little slow on this, but I wrote a rhetoric book, just for myself and for my wife, who wanted me to get this out of my system. I didn't realize that by teaching it people would think I must know this stuff and would hire me to help them with their persuasion problems. What if I had done that in reverse? Like I wanted to be a consultant? I didn't grow up wanting to be a consultant. Very few kids say that. But you know what's interesting. By teaching, people thought that I knew enough to be able to help them. So in terms of being a pastry chef, or a photographer, or someone who builds websites, or works in social media, or in almost any kind of industry or work. It's really good to show your craft by teaching. So you've got your resume. You look at what your weaknesses in your resume are. Probably your weaknesses are going to be in portraying what a caring person you are, how much you want to help people. You can use language to do that. Especially at the very top. You can talk about what your cause is, again, at the very top. I help people to, is a really great thing to put at the top of a resume. But then, you could, with other media such as Instagram, teach. Here is how I do what I do. At least you can understand it better. Of course, the implication is, you'll never be as good as me. (laughs) And I know I will never be the pastry chef you are. Probably don't need to. I don't need to, because there's you! Now, how are you going to tell the story? A case study is problem and solution. A story is a process, it's a series of steps. You tell a story that's called The Hero's Journey. Have you ever heard of this, The Hero's Journey? Okay, I'll be brief about it. Basically, it comes down to the hero leaves her comfort zone, faces obstacles, brings together allies or expertise, and solves the problem, and comes away with some knowledge to share with other people. You think about that. That totally applies to pastry baking, right? So okay, here you've been making the same kind of profiterole. That's a thing, right? Yes it is. You're used to doing this, but you encountered this particular problem and realized a lot of people encounter this. That is, you've got a serious ratio problem going on here. So then, you end up thinking a little bit differently about how to apply ratios, and here's a little technique that everybody can use in their own kitchen, that you applied. You can do that in pictures, you can do that with a little story on a website. And think about this. Of course we're not just talking about pastry. We're talking everybody's life. I love the way what you're talking about is so analogous. What you can do is either talk about a case study, problem, solution, boom, boom. Paragraph, paragraph, even one sentence, one sentence. Or you do it as a series of pictures. I had this problem. I was used to doing it this way. I encountered this problem, I realized other people have that problem. I solved the problem, you can too. Does this make sense? I can see you thinking, it's totally great. The gears are moving. How you are going to do this in your own work. I think that's wonderful. Okay, caring, craft, and cause. Caring shows you really care. By teaching something, you're showing that you're sacrificing your time and effort to make other people better. That's such a caring thing for you to do, thank you. But at the same time, you're showing your craft and making people believe you know what you're doing. And then it shows that you have kind of a higher cause, and sometimes you have to express that. You're bringing good profiteroles to life.

Each day, in every aspect of our lives, we’re confronted with situations where we need to persuade. How do we persuade our kids to clean up their room? How do we persuade a coworker to complete a project? How do we persuade a Facebook friend that their position is misguided?

Some of us choose not to persuade and instead resort to inpatient quips or angry rants. Many of us choose silence, then leave the room frustrated and brooding about what we should have said to win the argument.

Best-selling author and consultant Jay Heinrichs will teach you the basic tools of persuasion so you can avoid bitter confrontations and instead come to satisfying agreements. You’ll discover how being more articulate, using logic and controlling your emotions can create better, stronger, happier relationships.

In this course, you’ll learn how to:

  • Set goals for yourself when it comes to arguments.
  • Parent your children better through persuasion techniques.
  • Bring people together and build more cohesive teams.
  • Get people to like you with caring, craft and cause.
  • Avoid being manipulated.
  • Know what to say in awkward situations.
  • Be more articulate in the heat of the moment.

 
 
 
 

Reviews

  • I read Jay's book, Thank You For Arguing, a couple years ago, and it was life-changing! The course is terrific too and absolutely worth taking to learn how to communicate more effectively with other people, particularly anyone who may not understand or agree with your perspective or whose support you may need for something but don't know how to ask for or get it. Like in his book, the advice, ideas, and strategies Jay shares in this course will help you become a more confident communicator and also have more successful and happier interactions and relationships as a result. Highly recommend!
  • Excellent course for those who want to learn how to argue efficiently and respectfully. I've read Jay Heinrich's two books and was thrilled to see he had a course on here. It helped me consolidate the extensive knowledge I gained from his "Thank you for Arguing" (great book!). Unlike some, I loved his quirky presentation style! But then, as a huge fan, I'm biased!
  • I really enjoyed this class. It was chock full of information that I will be chewing on for awhile. I love hearing the examples after learning the process. It helped with the understanding of what we had just gone over. I would recommend this class for everyone, whether it be for your job or your life in general. We all need these skills in our arsenal. Jay Heinrichs does a terrific job in his instruction of these rhetoric concepts.