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End Your Financial Self-Sabotage

Lesson 3 of 7

Decoding Your Financial DNA


End Your Financial Self-Sabotage

Lesson 3 of 7

Decoding Your Financial DNA


Lesson Info

Decoding Your Financial DNA

Let's move into lesson two, which is decoding your financial DNA. Because just as your DNA makes up your appearance and susceptibility to certain illnesses, your financial DNA makes up the appearance of your financial picture in your wallet. So we discussed our financial history, now let's get into how that history is woven into the way we manage money, and that mostly appears in our money personalities. So as I said, a lot of people said they are the miser, the person who saves saves saves, or the nester, or the hoarder, that was the person that they noticed. So we all have different money personalities, but we can all be different money personalities at the same time, and different stages in our lives. So the first one is the miser. That's the person who just doesn't spend money at all, that's a hoarder, you walk into their house, they have not invested in any improvements in their place, but you know that, you're like, but you make money, I don't understand where your money is going...

. And they're just afraid to spend money, they're extreme when it comes to saving. Then there's the nester. That person saves money and they sit on it and then they spend it. So that's the person who saves to spend. They might be good at saving money but they're saving money only for the purpose of a down payment on a car, or a vacation they wanna take, and that's the only time that they really save money. So they're not necessarily the miser, but they're really good at saving money but they spend the money, they only save to spend. Then there's the spender. Who just, they don't save money at all. The spender is like, as soon as it hits my bank account, as soon as it hits my wallet, it's out into the world for everyone else to enjoy but me. And so that's the one who, you know, they just get joy out of spending. There are some people, and as I reprogrammed my money mindset, I got more joy out of doing things that made me financially successful and what I said I'd do with my money than buying things. And there has to be this balance. Sometimes buying things is what makes me, you know, sometimes, I buy things. My brand is called My Fab Finance for a reason. I don't believe in not spending money, I don't think I work to not spend money. But there is that balance between saving and spending but the spender doesn't have any balance at all. Then the speculator. That person is the person who's always looking for the next come up. That is a person who they're always in on this opportunity that is going to be the next million dollar business, or is gonna be the next thing that's gonna change your life, every multilevel marketing company that comes out, they're like the first person that you know who's selling essential oils or diffusers or legal advice, whatever it may be. Or vitamin supplements, whatever it may be, but that person is a speculator, and they're always looking for a way to get rich quick. And then the avoider. That is a person, and some of us may be avoiders, where we don't open up our bank statements. We don't check our bank account balance, out of fear of what might be there. We don't even call the finance companies or we haven't checked our credit maybe in a year, two years, 'cause we're afraid of what we'll find there. And we just avoid it altogether and think that our finances will auto correct. Which, they won't. And then there's the status chaser. And that is a person who most likely is constantly in competition, where they make money, they're pretty good at saving money, but they equate their status in life to the amount of money that they have. And so does anybody feel like they're one or a combination of these money personalities? At home, I want you guys, or online, I want you guys to type in what money personality that you feel like you're embodying right now, or the qualities that you feel like you're embodying, and then inside the audience I would love to find out if there's any one that sticks out to you and you're like, that's definitely me. It's a mixture. Of the nester, of the spender, I'm not so much of an avoider as I used to be, but I'm a mixture of all of those. A mixture, yeah. So I started out as a spender and an avoider, and then as I've started my journey to get better at money, I'm a little bit of a nester and a miser. A nester and a miser, you moved to the other extreme, okay. Fear will do that. Fear of not having enough will do that. Anybody else? Yeah. Definitely resonated with what both of you just said, and in the past I've really been like a spender, and avoider, and have kind of done less of the avoiding, still some of the spending, but also the nesting. Yeah, and you know, sometimes, it's different phases, right? The thing about our money is like, we experience different phases in our life. At different phases you'll be a different type of person. So, I'm currently expecting my first child. And I definitely have moved into more of a nester. And more of a miser, even though I do enjoy spending money, I realize I'm not just earning and spending money for me now, I'm earning and spending money for someone else. So my life has required me to shift. And sometimes we might have a job that doesn't allow us to spend money. And when I was living in New York City, I was making, my first job they started me out at $13,000 a year, and then gave me a raise to $28,000 a year, which I was like, oh my gosh, I'm balling. But I wasn't. $28,000 actually wasn't, but it was a lot more, and I, you know, at that point I still was kind of a nester because I couldn't afford to enjoy myself. And then I went and got a job and it was a $60,000 raise for me, and that was like, oh my gosh, I can be a spender. And my spending issues started to pop back up. So sometimes we may think we have our finances under control but it's really our situation has us under control. And then our money personalities begin to shift as our finances begin to loosen up and that's the danger zone when it comes to managing your money. Because you're able to expand the waistband a little bit and then once you expand it something happens and you've gotten accustomed to the spending lifestyle and you've moved out of being a miser or a nester, and now you're spending and you have this lifestyle that you can't afford, and your things start to own you, because you haven't been properly saving, because you've been responsive to your life, not necessarily to your bank account. So do we have any other? Yeah, we've got a lot of spenders. (laughter) We've got a lot of spenders online. Spenders and avoiders, it seems like the two go together. 'Cause it's that feeling of you know, as you say, you know you're spending, you don't really wanna check. Yeah, it does. You don't wanna look, and just you know, know how bad, know how much you are spending. But yeah, avoider, nester, spender, spender, and also some hoarders as well, some people who like to nest and yeah. And Monique says that she is a spender and avoider, yeah. So lots of that going online. Yeah, and the tip and a challenge for those avoiders, I challenge you to check your bank account balance every day. It's one of those things, it's one of those practices that's like, oh gosh, but I really believe that knowing your numbers is really important, knowing what you have and are able to spend. And sometimes that can curb that spending when you realize, oh, I don't have as much as I thought I had, instead of going to the counter like, is it gonna clear? Is it gonna get approved? Oh, yes, it got approved. You know, so I definitely challenge the avoiders to go ahead and challenge themselves to check their bank account balance every day. But I hope that in this exercise people see that they're not alone when it comes to their money behaviors and their money personalities, because a lot of times we feel like we're the only person or the only one we know that have money issues, or that are spenders, or avoiders, and there's a lot more people suffering in silence when it comes to their financial situation, which is why I commend everybody for attending this class, and I commend the spenders who decided to invest and attend this class for free, kudos to you for not spending and attending this class for free, because that's just one thing that will help you improve your life, an investment in your life that you're not necessarily spending on right now.

Class Description

Do you have excessive money concerns? Are you unable to control your spending? Is saving money for the things you want impossible? Many people with money issues think their problems arise from not having enough of it. But more often than not, the trouble isn’t with your budget, it’s with your mindset.

Most of our financial behaviors are established through observation, coping mechanisms or familial expectations. So in order to understand your money-related issues, you need to first understand the root of your relationship with money.

Author, consultant and millennial money expert Tonya Rapley will help you identify the thoughts and habits that contribute to your financial insecurities and create new behaviors that help you achieve your financial goals, whether that be traveling to faraway places or having the security to weather tough times.

In this class, you’ll learn how to:

  • Discover the obvious and subconscious money beliefs that contribute to your money story.
  • Explore your financial history by creating a financial family tree.
  • Identify your money personality and conduct a values assessment.
  • Examine how your beliefs have affected your spending.
  • Figure out if your financial goals are authentically yours or inherited from others.
  • Set Your P.E.G or Personally Exciting Goal.


a Creativelive Student

Watching this again after taking it LIVE from online (almost forgot I attended until I kept hearing my name...haha). This information is timeless and I've really come a long way since making my plan. My life partner and I moved in together since then and have drastically reduced our total rent. He is improving his credit step by step and I have made career shifts so that I get paid more per hour but work less. Feeling proud because that frees me up to build the online business I've always dreamed of. Thank you for your support and advice, Tonya! PS - Tanya is my older sister's name. She always has been great with money ;)


Great class. Very straightforward with good exercises anyone can easily do (including kids - this would be a great family project). I look forward to taking her next class.


Awesome class! Tanya gave a number of nuggets of wisdom to really get me thinking about my financial improvement journey.