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End Your Financial Self-Sabotage

Lesson 6 of 7

Set Your Financial Goals

Tonya Rapley

End Your Financial Self-Sabotage

Tonya Rapley

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Lesson Info

6. Set Your Financial Goals


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1 Introduction to Workshop Duration:06:23
3 Decoding Your Financial DNA Duration:08:03
4 What Do You Value? Duration:06:19
6 Set Your Financial Goals Duration:14:19

Lesson Info

Set Your Financial Goals

Let's go into Is This Your Life? Because now that we have clarity on the reflection of your current mindset and your values, so who's impacted our money, what I value, those are two things that are really important to ending financial sabotage because once you know who's impacted why you spend, and then what drives why you spend, you can begin to think about, okay, how can I spend my money in things that interest me or support my goals? So, we wanna establish parameters for guiding your spending going forward. So, now we feel like, okay, I have a better understanding but how do I gain control of my spending and how am I creating limits in myself? So, I call this Is This Your Life? Because I want you to list three to five personal and financial goals. And those are goals that you have right now. So, what are financial goals that you have right now or personal goals that you have right now? Not necessarily things that you, we're gonna get into kind of digging deeper into that and if they...

really are yours, but like, right now. For example, for me, one of mine is owning a multifamily unit building. Personal goal, to get a PhD. That's one of my goals. Name three to five of your personal and financial goals. It could be travel related, it could be family related. I mean, now, to be a good parent to my child but what are your three to five of your personal goals? Laura, what about you? What's one of your goals? I'm at the transition, potentially, in life of owning a property. So, it's trying to make that decision and living, filming here in San Francisco, which is probably the worst place to buy property in the whole of the world. (laughing) So, there's that aspect of trying to navigate securing somewhere and also not being lured into ridiculous, unmanageable amounts of mortgage and things like that. Oh, got you. Yeah, yeah similar in Los Angeles. Not as expensive as San Francisco but I did move from New York, which I just had to leave. (laughing) Okay, so I would love for everyone in the audience to share at least one of their goals and then we'll get some from the online audience. For financial, to pay off some credit card debt and then, for personal, to travel to Paris. Mine's to own a dog, which is both personal and financial, like I feel like I need to be financially stable enough to be able to like, take care of a pet, and that's just been a personal goal of mine for... It's a child. Like, forever. (laughing) Yeah, a dog is a child. (laughing) A dog is like another, yes, it's a family member. Absolutely, though. To aggressively save more for retirement. Okay. Mine is to be debt free and then finish yoga teacher training. Mine is to move into my own place and tithe a thousand dollars, monthly. Okay, okay wonderful. Okay, so we have our goals. What about online? What are some of the goals that people shared? Let's have a look. Kim says make a feature film, so there's a creative project that she's wanting to work on. Also, buy a property and Cindy said, save 5K before the end of the year. Julie says, financial freedom or to live debt free in the long term, being able to enjoy life without feeling stuck in my job. Shaniqua says, go to Dubai by February, and Arie says to put a book out in October. So, there are a few kind of projects and creative projects that people have. They're either making, writing books or creating films, and things like that, and they want to be able to put them out, and not, financially, be concerned about that. Exactly. Or having these experiences and so forth. There's quite a few experiences, there. So, now that we have those goals, I want you to close your eyes, and I want to give you permission to daydream because I think that, as an adult, we are told that we shouldn't daydream. I want you to close your eyes and I want you to go on a journey with me. And on this journey, we're... In year 2020. So, we're two years from now and I want you to think about what you're doing. You're waking up out of bed. What does your place look like? Are you next to anyone? Do you have any puppies running up to you? Have any children, any little feet pit-pattering around? Where are you going after you wake up? Are you waking up and preparing for the day at the office? Are you waking up and preparing for a vacation, a relaxing time with your family? How are you getting to where you're going? What does your house look like as you prepare? Or your living quarters look like as your prepare? How do people refer to you during your commute? So, whether you're on public transportation or when you walk into the store, how do people feel about you when you walk into that place? And then, you're getting into your vehicle. What kind of vehicle are you driving? I want you to think about that. If you're driving, you might be riding a bike. Do you live in the city? What kind of city do you live in? What type of traffic is there? What type of environment is it? And then, where are you heading? And how do you feel when you get to where you're heading? Are you heading into the office, are you heading into an appointment, are you heading into your own business? How do you feel when you get there? And the day is concluding, and it's time for you to wrap your day of wherever you were at. How are you feeling? Are you feeling relieved? Are you looking forward to doing it again? What are you planning for and what are you looking forward to, at this point? This is 2020, what are you looking forward to happening after you leave? What are you looking forward to in the longterm? And so, I want you to open your eyes, now. Bring you back from your daydream. Felt good, didn't it? (audience laughing) (Tonya laughing) That's actually something I do regularly, I allow myself to get into the position of what my ideal life will be. I do a lot of visioning because, for me, money mindset is really putting myself, and one of the books that transformed my experience was called Feel It Real! Feel It Real!, I think her name's Denise Coates and it was putting myself in the place of the feeling that I wanted to have. And that feeling drove the creation of my goals. So, now I want you to think about the feeling that you had when you were doing your daydream and were there any things that you did not write down for your financial goals or your personal goals that were not a part of your daydream? Not part of that experience. Would anybody like to share their daydream, like how their day started, where they were going? Would anyone like to share? I'm from Houston but I travel to LA frequently. But I was based at home in Houston, I had my own place, in love, made some coffee, worked out, got dressed, hopped on a private flight to LA for a meeting, and made it back home for dinner. I like that daydream. (laughing) So, yeah. That was my daydream. Got you, got you. So, yours is like professional and is that private flight yours or is it a client's flight? I don't know. It's a mode of transport, though. So, you know, I just got there. I didn't have to go through TSA, I just, you know. Hopped on the flight, took care of business, and made it back home for dinner. (clapping) Yes, anybody else wanna share their daydream? I can share. So, for mine, I woke up and I was at the beach, and so I had a nice ocean view, a very slow start. I did yoga, I had some tea, I met with someone, had like an online call, and then I spent the rest of the day with my friends. We went to the beach, had a bonfire. Drank a lot of wine. (laughing) And then, it was just joy, was the feeling that I had the entire time, just like radiating joy. You eased into your day. And that's important, too, because, precious. Yours was more, so like, it was more active lifestyle but like, that's the lifestyle that's for you. Whereas, yours is like more, you know, the day was kind of just flow, you're kinda in the flow of the day, and not saying if it's active, you're not in the flow but it is a few more moving parts and a few more different locations. (audience laughing) Different time zones. That wasn't on my list, because I'm like, because that could actually happen. That could possibly happen with the lifestyle that I live. Any of this could happen, I mean we say a daydream but any of it could happen and when I started to do mine, I realized that the financial goals that I had were, and the reason I asked you to do this, and I call it Is This Your Life? Is because I want you to look at the financial goals that you wrote down to see if those are financial goals that are really important to you, or how someone told you that you should live your life and what you should want out of life because, I know you said you wanted to save money for retirement, but what does retirement even look like? You know, for you. Does retirement mean that you're not ever gonna work again or does retirement mean that you, you know, you're consulting on the side and you're still bringing in income in other ways, and that you're not just waiting at home for your retirement check to hit your bank account. You know, so like what does it, but that's, for other people, that's their ideal retirement. Like, my mom, that is her retirement. Like (laughing) she does not side hustle, she does not do anything, her check hits her account and she's good, but we have to think about what life is for us, and I think that that was the biggest challenge for me, and that's why so many people fail when it comes to their financial goals is because they don't have goals that are what I consider, they're personally exciting goals. They're living their life based on other people's expectations of what they should have, instead of what they want to have and what's part of their dream. And so, I would love to hear, what were some of the realizations from online? Sabrina says, mine is so close to where I already am. I woke up with my husband and my kids at home. I went to the gym, and spent the day at the beach, and came in, and felt relaxed. So, it's that peace of mind, perhaps. It's almost that subtle, it's not that you wanna change your surrounding into something completely different. It's just that peace of mind. But Cindy had said, in the daydream, that she'd woken up single, which she kind of found funny, like. (laughing) I didn't see a person but I do own my own place, I got a promotion at my job, and I bought a car. Kim said, I woke up at my beach house, went to the beach for a swim, came back, had a protein shake. Took my bike to work, coffee shop, and I wrote my next project, had a, you know, a kind of healthy lunch, and had meetings for my next project. So, yeah. Just pulling out a few of those things from those. So, thinking about setting a personally exciting goal, we'll get into the methodology that I use for setting mine and I'll actually share one of my goals. For Sabrina, she said she was waking up with, she felt like she was already kind of living her daydream, essentially, but, you know, one of the things is like, how do I sustain this? How do I ensure that this daydream experience continues and does not become something of the past, and remains my future, so that would be, you know, whether you need to implement certain financial goals that allow you stay there, or, you know, bring in certain income streams, and so forth, that allow you to remain in that position. So, just because we're living our dreams doesn't mean that we're done because sometimes we need to do things to sustain that dream. And then the last one, no, another one that came up. She said, I woke up single. I just, you know, I'd mentioned that I'm very active on Twitter and yesterday, I just tweeted that do not allow anyone to make you feel bad for wanting marriage or not wanting marriage, wanting kids, not wanting kids. Because it's all about living the life that you want. If you woke up single and you were happy waking up single because I'm married, and some days, I'm like oh, I'm glad my husband's not here, today. (laughing) You know, some days, you know, you just want to be in your own space. So, there's nothing wrong with that. I commend her and then the last one, that person was... Woke up at the beach house, went for a swim, and it's actually funny because there's a lot of beach houses coming up. (audience laughing) We all need to move to the coast because another one just said, yeah, I woke up at my house overlooking a beautiful beach. And with those beach connections to a lot of them, it seems like activity. So, cycling to work, or walking to work, like being able to easily access. Yeah and with that beach house, I wonder if people who mention the beach house have a financial goal of saving for a down payment of that or if you currently have a home in the city, or that it's not a beachfront property, what is your exit plan, what is your strategy for relocating to a beach property? Whether that's a temporary place or you're going to rent out your current home, like what is that because that needs to be one of your financial goals. That you're gonna find someone who can rent your place or you're gonna sell your place, or whatever it may be so that you can have this beach experience, or if you're gonna design your life where you can spend three months at a time at a beach house. So, you know, you could say I'm taking, listen, I look forward to the day when I say, I'm gonna take off, you know, April to June and you'll just find me, I'll be at my beach home for those months and so forth. But it can be done, but it does take planning, it does take setting that goal forward. So, as you set your financial goal, as you set your previous financial goals, look and see if the financial goals that you identified initially contribute to your daydream, and help you achieve the experience of your daydream.

Class Description

Do you have excessive money concerns? Are you unable to control your spending? Is saving money for the things you want impossible? Many people with money issues think their problems arise from not having enough of it. But more often than not, the trouble isn’t with your budget, it’s with your mindset.

Most of our financial behaviors are established through observation, coping mechanisms or familial expectations. So in order to understand your money-related issues, you need to first understand the root of your relationship with money.

Author, consultant and millennial money expert Tonya Rapley will help you identify the thoughts and habits that contribute to your financial insecurities and create new behaviors that help you achieve your financial goals, whether that be traveling to faraway places or having the security to weather tough times.

In this class, you’ll learn how to:

  • Discover the obvious and subconscious money beliefs that contribute to your money story.
  • Explore your financial history by creating a financial family tree.
  • Identify your money personality and conduct a values assessment.
  • Examine how your beliefs have affected your spending.
  • Figure out if your financial goals are authentically yours or inherited from others.
  • Set Your P.E.G or Personally Exciting Goal.


a Creativelive Student

Watching this again after taking it LIVE from online (almost forgot I attended until I kept hearing my name...haha). This information is timeless and I've really come a long way since making my plan. My life partner and I moved in together since then and have drastically reduced our total rent. He is improving his credit step by step and I have made career shifts so that I get paid more per hour but work less. Feeling proud because that frees me up to build the online business I've always dreamed of. Thank you for your support and advice, Tonya! PS - Tanya is my older sister's name. She always has been great with money ;)


Great class. Very straightforward with good exercises anyone can easily do (including kids - this would be a great family project). I look forward to taking her next class.

Sharon Phillip

This was a very informative class. She didn't present things in a way that went over everyone's head like other classes I have attended. She was very straightforward and engaging. I learned a lot about my personal financial habits and now have a clear understanding of what I need to do moving forward for financial success. I would definitely recommend this class to my friends and fellow graduates.