Assignment 1: Critique
You guys, this is where we ended up today with chilies and marriott and mr coffee and callaway. So we just wanted tio bree critique on how he did. And really now you guys are seeing this in a printed context. And what you would usually see on a crit wall is you have different perspective now, so let's, just go clockwise around to see what you guys seeing. Ah, offer up ideas on maybe some alterations and how to improve. So what, chiles? What do you see real? That you would you didn't see on screen that you might, um we talked about it reformed a little bit, um, before we started back and just that the e the the bar and this is looks a little thick, visually, even though, like I tried to make it the same with as this I over here. So at this point, I would go back and adjust this and make this a little, like, give the space in the little more space. Maybe so the counter news to open up a little bit over the counter needs to open up technically, and then, perhaps consider how much spaces i...
n between that's an open counter there so that the u s so if you're looking at, I know I'm all technical. So some of the indications of this space might be the openness of this s or you know, something around here or even the thickness of the stem itself. Sometimes I use that as a gauge to get an idea on how open that needs to be. So um so howbout marriott um I had a lot of difficulty with this one, seeing as I had to create two new letters um I went with the double storey g because there's an existing double story, eh? I think looking at it now, um I could have gone with a single story, jeanne. That way, this stem of a single strategy would match the road a cattle, the existing vertical reality of the double team marriott I think that's what's throwing me off like looking at it printed out is that I see this kind of curvy spine um not meshing with thestreet lines. That's a very good this that's a very good observation. I'm no, I'm just happy that you're on honestly, because that you could see the rhythm of all the vertical strokes and marriott, right? Not all attributes too. The actual recognition of that mark. Yeah, so even even though I poured a lot of love into making that gene is beautiful, I would go back and alter it excellent. How about mr coffee here? I think looking at it now I would probably make the eye little skinnier um it's gonna throw me off to from here and then I was having difficulties um tracing over my drawing with the end um I think the curves kind of went off a little bit and I would probably go back and fix that so that thai fish you know is telling her before it is ah uh based on optimum and if have you ever drawn optimum before no no can you do it with a straight edge? Probably not. You know, if you really look it off to my right it's very, very subtle everything kind of tapers it's really beautifully designed and uh but it's it's very difficult to eke my students get optimistic uh uh you know but yeah, the most difficult thing I see here to deal with this the kerney right? I mean, it's uh mr cobb is like, really close the curtain so that was that was kind of a challenge there I can see. So how about kellaway? Yeah. So, um I think some of the fen eels that's the appropriate term that I put in the h and k I had pulled from the l but I'm not sure that's right now that I'm looking at they feel kind of silly, goofy looking, talking about these here yeah or the the bottom ones how they're sort of pointy where is the way the d close is going a little cleaner maybe that's more how the pen would have worked instead of having that extra piece that jets out um I think that general shape of the s works we had talked about like how did structure it and but it feels a little thick baby I'm in comparison to the other letters yeah that's a tough one and uh to see to um looks like, uh you know, the the arm portion of it looks like it looks like it needs a different kind of terminal maybe I'm not even actually grabbed the top of this a and moved it over and see if that helped because it looks like it needs to be a little bit more curved based on that stroke since it's in that is kind of in the same spot, right, um I I believe the way I see is drawn is you started this pointing to come down and around and then you come back here I believe I could be wrong but, um you could kind of flick up like the capital city yeah, yeah, because it looks a little ah straight I mean it's hard with with black letters because the initial capture the capitals or uh quite different from the lower case so it's to me personally, I probably would, you know, think a couple times before taking something from a capital for black letter because they're kind of on their own. But the thing about black there is is has a consistent stroke kind of design, right? The thick and thin is very repetitious. So in looking for that in this case, in in a black player like this that's, why I'm looking for the same position on the character in the same spot and I would try to take it from there, you know, and that's, why I would like for my first is he's just today could the top of it and put it here and see how that works since it's a similar stroke. So but these are these are very good for me, it's, like I'm saying before it on amazon, this jews out of whack because these you can obviously see these air too sharp here. And then the g, the top of the gene needs work like they did on them in and here, because this is too close down. So there's quite a bit of work. I mean, just overall, slightly that she looks heavier than everything else, because I think of everything clogging together, but it's really minute, um, other than that these air is a really good. And I really like this exercise because you really are looking at, uh, some really detailed refinement here. And that is it's. Good practice. So