The Power of Negotiation


Lesson Info

During the Negotiation - Money Chasers

Last step here. Okay, you've just given a number. What do you chase it with? You know when you were in college and you had to do a shot of alcohol and you had a chaser? Anyone have that experience? So I like to think about this as a money chaser, right. Someone's just gotten a really strong hit of alcohol. What sweet goodness do you chase it with after that? So after I say a number or after a number is given, I will almost immediately chase it. This is a big mistake. Most people will say their number and then just leave it. Like, "7,500!" (laughing) Right, like what's gonna happen now? What's gonna happen in the room? So I always have a money chaser ready to go, right, right ready to go right afterwards. That also can help you have confidence. It's not just a number. You have more coming after it. Here's what you always chase your offer with. Ah, yes, of course, I love this money quote. "Explain the value and justify the cost. "People don't mind paying; they just don't like to overpay.

" They don't mind paying, right? People know they're paying for good work. So the chaser is about making sure that are justifying that cost. One, the best money chaser is incredible proof, and we've already talked about proof. I like to be ready with an arsenal. That's why I gave you swords. I am ready for that justification, that proof right after I say a money. This could be numerical proof. So, we charge 7,500. Remember that our colleagues at BMW saw a 28% increase in their sales. And we have a 75% improvement in PQ Score immediately after people take this workshop. I've chased that hard number with a couple really good numbers, like, oh, I'm gonna earn that back, right? So numerical proof, data, graphs, social proof, immediately talking about other case studies. We charge 15,000, or I charge $100 a month, and we've had 15 people already go through this program in the first month and they've had amazing results. They're right here, right? So, social proof, case studies and testimonials. Physical proof, demos and templates, saying a number and then giving something or saying, "Let me show you how this software works," or "Let me show you an example of my work." Character proof, so promises or creating psychological safety. So this is only for some of you who are doing more maybe coaching work or more emotional purchases. The other aspect of spending money is there has to be a way of having safety. The way that I like to do this is I like to prevent gotcha moments. You know gotcha moments? These are those moments in negotiation in meetings where someone has this thing that they is a weakness and then they bring it up and they're like, "Gotcha!" (laughing) I like to prevent gotcha moments, so sometimes to create psychological safety I will bring up the issues or pain points or problems that I know are there, that I know that they're probably gonna bring up or they're thinking. This is a way to create psychological safety, 'cause you're saying, "Look, you can trust me. "I'm putting this all on the table." Here are some problems we might run into. So, answering questions before they ask. "If you're wondering about liability, we have this covered," or "We don't have this covered, "but we've only had this incident in .02% of cases." Right, so offering that immediately. Preventing hesitations. "I know timing is a concern for you. "Here's our plan to tackle that." So price, plus immediately addressing a hesitation. And bringing up objections for them. So, "You may not have the authority "to give me a reduction in my cable bill, "but may I speak to someone who does?" Right, so that can even happen earlier than bringing up your number or saying on the phone, negotiations with a cable company, always a fun one, great way to practice. Right, you call and you're like, "I know that I should not be paying more than $120 a month "for cable and internet. "I know this. "My neighbors are paying it. "I don't know if you can do that for me. "I'm not sure if you have the authority "to reduce this on my cable bill, "but that's the number I wanna pay. "Who do I have to talk to to get that reduced?" Right, I list a number that I want and bring up a potential hesitation, to which they say, "Oh, I don't have the authority, "miss, to do that." You can say, "I already asked you "for talking to someone up above." So I want you to think about it. I'm not gonna actually have us do it. I want you, in your workbook, to think about what is your best money chaser? Is it social proof? Is it a testimonial? Is it a number justification? And remember, this isn't a thing that you're bringing up kinda last minute. You're prepared to give your number as well as your chaser, right? You prepare both. All of this, gotcha money moments, swipe files, examples are in your workbook. That's why I'm not going very much on them 'cause we're running low on time. You also wanna create psychological safety, so making your partner feel safe talking about money with you. If you see that shame moment, you know that money could be hard for them to talk about. Morris Altman, "People have a strong preference "for certainty, and are willing to sacrifice income "to achieve more certainty." So any certainty that you can provide as a money chaser is one of the best ways for people to feel safety around that number. So that could be installment plans. That could be refund options. That could be guarantees. That could be phases or processes saying, "Why don't we pay this in installments? "First one now, we review, and check in later." So any way that you can create that certainty is better. We know that psychological safety works. Negotiation wins and losses are beyond financial. In fact, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that there are 20 categories of wins. We're not just talking about financial wins. Psychological safety is a win. Having a good negotiation experience is a win. So having this chaser is also a way to make them feel better about the negotiation as well. All these things that I mentioned, guarantees, refunds, continued customer support. Right, so maybe you offer a high number and it's for one good item. You can say, "I'm gonna give you my personal cellphone." Has never had that, "I'm gonna give you my personal cellphone "so you can call me if you have any problems." That makes me feel pretty good about spending a lot of money with the person 'cause it makes me trust them and I could call them if I need to. So that could be an option. Social proof, payment plans. "I can pay in cash. "I can buy right now. "I have great credit," for if you wanna buy, right? That's another way you can create psychological safety for a seller so that if they're gonna give a big discount on their car or on the lease or on the house, you can say, "Hey, I have all these things." It will make it really on the other end of the process. "I can pay in cash in right now," or "I have really great credit." I also want you to think how you can create more certainly. So maybe this is a money chaser, maybe it's not. But if you're getting that catch, that back and forth, having those certainty elements on hand is really important. I know that we all feel like we're begin aggressive or assertive asking for what you want, but you are not being as aggressive as you think. In fact, during negotiations most people believe they come across as being too aggressive. In fact, their counterparts saw them as being appropriately assertive. And 57% were actually seen as under-assertive. So we often not only think we're being too aggressive when actually it's quite appropriate, but we might even be undervaluing ourselves, which is a huge mistake that we make. "People expect you to ask for what you want. "When you don't, it's worse than neutral." And that's the biggest thing here, is asking for what you want is good business. That is part of delivering high quality work. Lastly, I mentioned money chasing. That does not mean money apologizing. A chaser is not an apology. So it's not backtracking. It's not "I hate to ask this," or "I'm sorry to bother you. "I know this is a lot." No, it is not apologizing. A chaser is offering proof for your quality. It's creating safety. So I just wanted to make a point there that it's not about apologizing. A money chaser is not an apology. It is a safety net for them. Last one. The last thing you wanna do is sometimes they're gonna say yes to your number. Yay, great. You might also be playing catch, and that's a good thing, the kind of back and forth. So there's this idea of they say, you say. They say, you say. You get to this part of the negotiation. Do not dread it. You actually learn a lot about someone during this phase. You can often get a lot of value in this phase. They say, "It's too much money. "Does it include? "What if?" You say all of the research that you have already prepped. That is what this is for. This sheet is for your time of playing catch. So every time they say this, you are going back to your alternatives, you're going back to your guarantees, you're going back toy our assets, you're going back to your creative problem-solving. So it's waiting for you there just in case that part happens. Playing catch means they care. So a lot of the times people say to me, "I know, but then he pushed back on my number." I'm like, "Good. "He's thinking about his budget. "He really wants to work with you. "He wants to make sure "that he's getting all the value he wants." Playing catch is a good thing. It's not a bad thing. Use your cheat sheet for all of this on pain points, assets, and commonalities. Also, if you're getting into that phase where you're like, "Uh-oh, I don't know where we are," go back to the yes ladder. Look, you can actually say, "Look, let's go back to where we agree. "So, we agree on timeline. "We're good on that? "Cool. "So we agree on the deliverables. "You're happy with all these deliverables? "Oh, this one deliverable isn't needed. "You know what, taking that one deliverable out "is gonna save me a lot of time. "Let's revisit this price." So often going back to the yes ladder can help you figure out where maybe there's some wiggle room there on either end. In your workbook I have scripts for you. They say, you say, they say, you say. You could actually open the workbook during the next negotiation and actually read off. If they say, "I can't afford this right now," you say. I actually have the they says and you says that commonly come up that I've used. Don't forget to let them throw it back. Don't negotiate with yourself. Okay, right? (laughing) You've shared a number. You've chased it. Let them throw it back to you. Right, let them tell you what works for them and what doesn't. Don't undercut yourself before they say anything. Helping them be right. So one thing in this when we talk about winning is making sure that you're not making them wrong, which is why we're talking about agreement. So if they get something wrong or they misunderstood something about your assets or your pain points, you can say, "Oh my goodness, "I've misunderstood this." Helping them be right can also be a win. It's one of the 20 categories of wins. Don't forget to address emotions. Sometimes if there's shame or fear there, that can be another hangup for you. Hopefully you're here. Your goal is accepted or your BATNA is accepted. Yay. What happens if not? That waiting process. So if you don't win, it's not a loss. It's a wait. Maybe you both need to go do more research. "You know what, let me go back, let me talk to my team, "let me look at my schedule, let me look at my budget, "and I'll get back to you." That's okay. That is not the end of a negotiation. That is not a loss. You also might want time to process, especially if you feel yourself getting those butterflies, that feeling of fear that you're not logically thinking. Sometimes the wait is actually better for you. Right, it gives you time to step back and think about it. If you get a no or a wait, here are a couple of things you can think about. We're gonna talk about this in our bonus sections. You might wanna go back and redo your negotiation cheat sheet. Say, "You know what, we're gonna take some time. "Let's reconvene, "and we'll do another call later in the week." Start from scratch. Redo it. What did you learn in that negotiation, and what changed? What was taken off the sheet? What was added onto the sheet? Follow-up in a new medium. Maybe it didn't work on the phone. Maybe it's gonna be better on email. Maybe it didn't work on email, maybe it's better on the phone. Sometimes changing up the medium can really help shake it up. Bring in a new person. Bring in an expert. Bring in a strength person. Bring in a supporter. They can also change the factors in the room. Find more BATNAs. Bake a bigger pie so there's more value to offer, more flexibility. And then also use our deadlock strategies. Audience, I would love to hear from you. What aha moment did you have in this section that really kinda got things going for you? I was one of the people who in the beginning felt like negotiation was the dentist's chair and a lot of anxiety, and so I really appreciate that you've given us the practical tools to make it a game of catch and play. So I appreciate that, thank you. And also every time you do it, we're gonna talk about practice a little bit, you're gonna get better and better at climbing up this yes ladder. So yes, it is like catch. You get better and better as you do it. One more aha moment from the audience. Oh, yes. So I'm in salary negotiations right now, literally through email right now. So I'm feeling really nervous about do I say a number, do they, and so this is really helpful to know that I can chill for right now. Right, okay, good. So you know exactly where you're supposed to be. And that framework works. Whatever negotiation you're in, you can just check and be like, "Yep, I'm the one to say the number first," or "Nope, I shouldn't." How about at home, what do we got? So I'll read one here from Sheena who says, "I was recently asked by a recruiter "how much I'm seeking for the position I applied for." And she had a range in her head, and she basically says the aha moment after watching this video, she realizes that she's been undervaluing herself. And now that she's watching this video, she's gonna go back and ask for much more than that low range that she's been accustomed to. Great, and remember that even asking for something unreasonable. Now, I don't want you to ask for something unreasonable. Those people who asked for 100,000 in a salary negotiation, they got a lot more just because it anchored them better. So, yes, ask for more.

Do you get uncomfortable asking for what you want? 

Do you worry about how much you are worth? 

Do you have a hard time saying “no” and standing up for yourself? Do you feel like you are always getting the short end of the stick? It’s time for you to learn the science of negotiation. No longer lose clients, not get that raise you deserve, and finally, stop being the underdog. 

Join Vanessa Van Edwards, published author and behavioral investigator, who has been featured on NPR, Forbes, CNN and USA Today, who will teach you her never-been-taught-before personal negotiation strategies. 

We negotiate all the time -- from job interviews to client meetings to mattress buying to getting your spouse to the do the dishes. Everyone needs to understand the dynamics of powerful negotiations. 

This class is for you if you: 
  • Agonize about claiming your worth 
  • Have a fear of saying no because you think you might offend someone. 
  • Worry about negotiations because you are afraid they might turn into confrontations 
  • Have a lack of confidence when standing up for what you want. 
  • Are uneasy because you know you could be making more money in your job or business, but you don’t know how to ask. 
Learn Vanessa's new research, get word-for-word swipe files, scripts, and Vanessa’s personal formula for negotiation that she has never given out before.

In this class you will: 
  • Learn the science behind negotiation so you can take more control over your negotiations. 
  • Know and prove your worth so you can ask for what you need. 
  • How to predict a "no" coming on and how to pivot to turn it into a faster "yes". 
  • How to identify boss or client's reservations so you can prepare your pitch or conversation. 
This could be a day long class, but instead, it has been designed to be short, dense and digestible and something you can always go back to before heading into a negotiation. 

Our goal is for you to watch and rewatch this course anytime you are about to step into a negotiation room.



  • Vanessa is such a life changer. I feel so priveledged to have discovered all the wisdom that she shares. My dream is to be able to afford an in person training course with her. In the meantime, I watch the courses and purchasing them so that I can listen over and over. Wish my mom, who is now on life support would have been healthy and alert to have listened with me since my mother is my inspiration to seek how teachings from people like Vanessa. Mom, hoping that you know that I am continuing in your footsteps. Thank you Vanessa and hoping one day to learn from you in person.
  • What a valuable course! I appreciated Vanessa Van Edwards turning negotiation into a learnable skill. She lays out, step by step: * how to prepare for a negotiation, including a comprehensive worksheet, * what to say (and what not to say) during the negotiations, and * how to follow-up in the most effective manner. I learned skills applicable to complex work situations as well as getting my kids to do more chores. She teaches you how to turn an adversarial negotiation into a "partnership" which not just sounds good, but it is good and she gives you detailed, insightful guidance for how to do this. The 116 page workbook is crammed with practical insights. The 3 hour class and bonus materials are jam-packed with information I can use right now. So worth the investment.
  • This was the perfect course at the perfect time for me. I have a lot going on right now and I know these skills are going to help me out every step of the way. They are transferable to so many situations! I can't believe how much awesome stuff there is in the workbook. Every question I have is answered, and there are so many examples, it's insane! Everyone should do this course.