Become a Better Communicator

Lesson 4 of 21

3 Centers of Intelligence

 

Become a Better Communicator

Lesson 4 of 21

3 Centers of Intelligence

 

Lesson Info

3 Centers of Intelligence

Well, let's, talk about the three centers of intelligence which you all possess you or possess. We all possess all three of these forms of intelligence and a way to start to trot the place to begin and figuring out your personal style of the nine is to identify which of these styles of intelligence which of these centers of intelligence is primary for you and again, you possess all three so let's look at them. As I mentioned earlier, we each possess it intuitive intelligence, emotional intelligence and rational or intellectual or mental intelligence. And yeah, okay, michael, you okay? Emotional intelligence means you understand how people are feeling and mental intelligence means you can explain things well or no, none of that the way to start actually identifying which one is yours. It sometimes turns people off because it means you have to look a tte a negative behavior of yours. But the reason I suggest starting there is because we all are more familiar, usually with our negative qu...

alities than we are with our genius, and we find it easier to come across with what's wrong with us then what's awesome about us. So the intuitive communicators are the people who walk through the world with this sense of I don't know how I knew it, I just knew it and they wait until that inner knowing sparks it's nothing to do with thinking things through is nothing to do with pros and cons has nothing to do with feeling the truth of the situation is just something that comes from nowhere it seems like it's just that's it that's the right idea that's the right decision that's the person I should do this with this is wrong I'm not going there that kind of thing it's like a gun feeling and if you are one of these people or say you I'm sure you've had this experience you're like that's what I want to go I just know it and you start heading in that direction and something cuts you off like what do you imagine your responses pardon with treasure don't you get angry it's like don't stop me let go so one way to start thinking is this your type is are you the kind of person who tends to get angry when things are difficult and maybe other people think that of you and you don't think it of yourself or vice versa but are you the kind of person that when confronted with difficulty your ah this has got to stop now there's further complications in this that I'm not going to go into those right now so the second center of intelligence is emotional intelligence and it doesn't just mean knowing how people feel it means in order for you to move through this world if this is your center, you have to feel a connection. You have to feel the truth you have to know is this make me happy. Does this make me sad? What are my emotions around this? What does this make me feel? Is a question that people for whom this center is primary asked themselves the other people don't. So when these people who for whom the emotional intelligence is primary, when things don't go their way, they don't necessarily get angry, although everyone gets angry but instead the emotions get unbalanced so they can become depressed or hysterical. I don't need to act out hysteria, but just like blah oh, I just acted out again, but anyway, the emotions get wonky so that's one way of that is that to you think about it the people for whom the centre of intelligence is in the mental processes. This is the kind of person that in order to move forward, it has to make sense doesn't matter so much how they feel. Although that's interesting, it doesn't matter. The gut is like going boom boom go here we go here we go here but the mental a person has to think, well, what are the implications, what does this mean, what is the pattern? What is the strategy here? What if I do this step then what's the next step and they have it has to make sense logically these are the kind of people that are always saying to you that's not logical and for them logic has a kind of meat it means something for me I'm on emotional intelligence person the logic is like, oh, whatever doesn't have like juice anyway so when the people who like to think about things and understand them when things don't go their way their defence default defenses when the thinking starts to go haywire get paranoid anxious when you think about this some more what if I did this and what if she said that? What if that meant this and where I go over here and the thinking just starts to speed up speed up speed up and so that looks like anxiety or paranoia? So, um again I know these aren't like they all have very potent positive qualities too, but this is sort of a way to begin placing yourself because the nine types aren't divided into three triads the emotional the intellectual triad which are types eight, nine and one the emotional triad which had types two, three and four and the mental try and which are types five, six and seven and after a break we're going to explore each one of those in great detail but as it stands right now which one does what sounds like you two you or someone in your life did any light bulbs go off for you? Me? I'm more for intruder on emotion but uh they are the kind of leader intellect follows the lead into what is intuitive and emotion leads but then intellect follows a hundred for me so you definitely possess all three we all do? Yeah. Um but would you say intellect and, uh, intuition and emotion are equal or just want their equal? I think in terms ofthe intuition emotion first and after that and eventually the intellect comes into the picture how would you describe the difference between intuition and an emotion? Uh I mean something that I'm observing and I feel that this could be right this could be wrong and about that if it's not in that way. So what are my emotions means I'm happy about it that it is that way. Uh, I'm a sad of order and I want to change it, so I mean, first of all, I thank me so, uh what is, uh my good feelings thing got feeling in an observation are different. Yeah. Which one are you talking about? Uh things ah, I was talking about the good feeling and does it come from observation? Uh, yeah, virginia, exactly interesting, anybody else I think I'm more intuitive and I fall back on intellect so it's funny because I find that communication skills are hard for me to learn because I'm not my intuition isn't worth very well in those aspects I have people tell me it's like what you think you want to say just know not to say it that's not the right answer oh so they're like you're you're missing the social cues, that kind of thing maybe, uh butt into like it's hard because it's not something that I was able to learn from books right? Because clearly my intuition is failing me so maybe someone else knows and I haven't found the step by step plan for that. How about these anger or depression or anxiety? Which one do you I think I should I get anxious I mean I picked a meditation been doing a semi regularly since december and one of the main reasons was just that just to like us control my anxiety a little bit for what it's worth everything you're describing and what you have been describing uh since we got here is intellect so I just invite you to think about that as we go through the rest of our time together start there not saying that's where you end up or should end up with just start there because that's the flavor of what you're saying in my mind what's coming through my lens so I definitely see all of them and they fluctuate keep going up and down but and so it's hard to say oh I see that part I see this part I have anxiety I go through depression I get very angry you know have all of them but I think for me I would have to say into it intuition is probably the one that stays higher but you know, I I can make a pros and cons list and analyse it with the best of him with all of them and then that's where my mindfulness and kind of meditation practice comes of let it go I do all of that I let it go and then when the fog clears it's what my gut tells me to do is the answer and you're so I use I've learned over time I guess I don't know use all of them recognize them um but when it comes down to it it is a gut feeling that probably prevails interesting so you wait for that and it it doesn't all I mean doesn't always happen sure, yeah I mean sometimes I mean I was a lot of my friends and family would say I'm very emotional um so I definitely see all of them but I how do you how do you know when you're using like so we're using these intelligent this knowing this information so that we know ourselves and how to communicate to the nine different personality types and that's where we're going exactly so you could know about yourself what your style is and also what the other person style is, because after a while, when you learn this, you can sort of tell, and the longer you know someone, the more likely it is, even if you can't say, oh, this person is the fourth style you can say in an interaction with them. Oh, that meaning thing is coming up so that flavor of foreignness is here doesn't mean therefore your four just means that flavours here okay, let me acknowledge that. Bring that into the way I express myself. Um, how about anger, depression, paranoia? I know I'm sure you do all of them, I do all of them, but one of them is, like, immediate. Probably hard to say. It is hard to say, because just in the last week I've gone through all of them, um it's less of the paranoia, but just my life situation right now, anxiety is very high, which lead it's too depressed states and I can recognize when I'm there, so they are not there. Uh, as often anger's, not there is often, but then I feel very intuitive, so I don't know howto school connect to them. No problem we got we got a ways to go so just that's good you're checking out all of you going I could see that I could see that I could see that as we go deeper into our time together start to see one may start to pull ahead like a racehorse and another would fall behind and then it will change and it could take a while to figure out but in the end there is one that is you're that's more predominant there's one that is predominant. Okay, yeah exactly what you're saying tricia for coming from the chat room because sue is asking can you change your style or will it evolve? And raj is asking something similar, saying I'm not able to recognise my behavior pattern it all is that normal not to be able to identify your own behaviour excellent questions um well to sue I would say uh of course it's always possible to evolve and there's a low side it's safe your emotional communicator there's a low side to it too being hysterical and depressed and so on but when when you can find a way to sort of relax with your own style instead of trying to beat it up or get rid of it each style has at the other end of the spectrum a positive manifestation of the same quality buddhists call it poison to medicine every medicine I think I'm not a doctor but if used it to the wrong dosage becomes a poison so it's the same thing with these qualities in the right dosage in the right way the right time with the right finesse it's a it's a medicine but when you use it incorrectly the same exact thing is a poison so you can you know evolve it khun definitely evolve so the end that's a long way saying yes it can evolve but I think also maybe what's in your question is can I change mine? I'm an intuitive communicator but I'd rather be an emotional communicator can I change and the answer is no I'm sorry to say one of them is you you have an essence you have a constitution you have ah unique quality you have ah presence that is lasting and this communication style is embedded in that presence so yeah, you can become more adept at all of it but your nature your essence is always there and then raja's questions can't find himself I will say repeat this because it bears repeating that just be patient we have a lot of information to cover this is the very broad strokes so it makes sense that anybody would here and go yeah yeah I did that yesterday I did the other one two days ago wait, listen to all the types try to let all the information marinate and then at a certain point, and I believe that that point will come after we talk about what is called the subtypes, which is the fourth and final step, which we'll get to today. I mean now, in this session, um, then that's, when it's more likely that up. I get it now, but maybe not. But don't worry, it's. Okay, it's. What? One of the most profound and powerful things about this information is that, like it or not, it shines a spotlight on your blind spot and that's. What makes it so powerful? And you don't know what your blind spot is, because you can't see it, so it could take a while to sort of get oriented with this information. So please be patient with yourself and me and each other, and, um, we'll keep going through the nine types, and then the three subtypes within each type.

Class Description

Ready to build your ability to connect, communicate, and create? Join Susan Piver for an introduction to the communication and mindfulness skills every successful professional needs to know.

You’ll learn about the three styles of communication: instinctual, emotional, and rational. Susan will guide you through discovering and taking advantage of your own style. You’ll also learn about how to understand colleagues’ and clients’ communication styles, to make each interaction the best it can be. Susan will also cover the importance of mindfulness as a tool to cultivate effective communication.

By the end of this course, you’ll have a deeper understanding of who you are as a communicator and an easy-to-implement mindfulness routine that will help you speak, listen, and respond more effectively.

Reviews

Aliah Husain
 

I loved this class. I was not expecting it to be a full on enneagram tutorial, but with that said, the content of Susan's class was life changing. I grew up in a very conservative household where open conversations were not welcome and therefore, never knew how to communicate my thoughts and feelings without becoming emotional and feeling misunderstood. By taking this course, and afterward reading The Wisdom of the Enneagram, I was able to learn my personality/communication type, the styles of those around me, and how to bridge the gap to be understood in any message. The coursework has also helped me to better understand the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of my loved ones. Again, truly life changing course work. Highly recommend to anyone looking to make sense of themselves and their surroundings, and apply this knowledge in a practical sense, both personally and professionally. THANK YOU, SUSAN!!!