Final Q&A and Homework
So my friends let's just take a pause it's a lot of information take a moment to give a little stretch on before I tell you the homework then which is pretty simple and if you are watching or listening if you join and you get the workbook the homework will be in there um but I can tell you what it is but you can't do it without the workbook because it involves certain links on youtube so what do you think are are you are you like obliterated with information or do you have any sense is your confusion greater isn't lesser what intrigues you? Where are you? You know because it's a lot of information um just like when I start a new job I allow myself six weeks before I'd even comment think that's hard to believe myself if I said anything before then I think that's super smart you know it's like I don't know but this is a lot of seems to be a lot of uh useful tools and possibilities and uh for further understanding and I'm happy you know I appreciate you saying that e think that's useful f...
or everybody to hear I think it's wise and I think at a certain point when there's so much information it's sort of that's all you can do it just let it sort of settle which is what we're gonna do until our next session yes and then yes there's a few of them I hope you could just tease apart again. So on the first set in the intuitive I believe there was the surrender and then union. So the difference between those two and then this there's the strength and beauty, and then I think earlier there was the ideal male and female, you know, and then third, um, how chain you had mentioned burn a brown. I'm just curious, like how that whole idea of shame, I guess more fits in overall, well, strength and beauty and ideal male and female, they're kind of the same and they're both corps types. The three is the core of the emotional triad, and excuse me, the six is the core of the mental triad, but there's a one is ah, heart type and the others ahead type. So though they may be both trying to be some sort of an ideal in the world of male and female, they have a different kind of energy. They come from a different place the ideal male and female you I have a sort of heart energy, I mean, for lack of a better way to say it. And the six strength and beauty has more of a kind of nervous energy and anxiety connected to them, because, as you may recall with thea, thea response to stress for the mental types is sort of paranoia anxiety so that has a kind of ah vibration to it that sort of oscillators at a higher frequency than someone who tends to get depressed or even hysterical the emotions go out of whack like a three wood so even though they're similar in the sense that they're trying to find an ideal of gender they have a different felt sense that's the best I can offer and it's the same with eight and seven like you were talking about I believe social aid which is called family first that surrender in the union so you had that thing that was so sexual one is called nine is called union and sexual eight is called possession surrender right? So the nine is looking for someone to merge into like give me an agenda for my life so I don't have to think about it and the eight is looking for someone they can surrender their power to like not so that you will take over my life and acted out for me but so that I can have like dispelled have some relief from having to be the one that's always in control always in charge and then when I can surrender to you I will be sort of replenished and I could go back out into my normal life of controlling everything with a sense of sort of balance little more balance maybe they're fine distinctions was there a third one over the third was about shame just in a general kind of like that's related to all of them in bernie brown and vulnerability I think shame is lads burn a brown points out kind of epidemic and you can merge it into other things like self criticism self doubt we are in an epidemic of those things and so we all experience shame I would say about who we are for this particular subtype for on the previous screen it's like where they live it's like there's no gap in it for the rest of us sometimes there could be a gap we don't see the world necessarily through a lens of shame all the time but that person does so we all experience shame just like we all experienced doubt we all experience lust we all experience all of these things but it's not always our primary lens types will make the person very difficult to be in a relationship romantic or not I mean, I'm not just talking about romantic relationships but you know, as a parent, if you have if you have a child off a certain type or you know boss employee are romantic, certain people can be difficult in sir concerning circumstances and it's best to avoid them so form room thinking is that if you are say in an intimate relationship with someone who was a fascination trickster oh tricky very tricky because a tremendous amount of pain yeah like how long can you go on entertaining somebody right? Well you can you should have got to go even one second entertaining somebody but if you fall in love with someone who has this as part of their nature and they fall in love with you too and there's that genuine piece in there and they're uh sort of uh vulnerability this fascination it's something for you both to be aware of that you can't control who you fall in love with you can't say I only want to fall in love with a castle five because I want to be in a castle to you just fall in love with who you fall in love with and then you develop some self awareness and some awareness of them and then you just try to work with your personal neurosis in their neurosis and that actually is not a bad definition of love not saying love is all about helping people with their neuroses but somehow meeting people where they're vulnerable first we have to get over our fear of their cirrhosis which is not easy but then we could try to be kind anything else I think people deep in thought morning yes students I know fact that's our final slightly you know what? What type am I we're looking at? You know a little about marinating a marinated amore so that's a great place to sort of draw this draw the point of our day of our time together and then I want to tell you, I ask you, uh, to do a little bit of homework in our gap between our sessions and this is what I suggest as you a way for you to begin to find your type and then you can think about the types of others, but first think about your own first try to figure out which triad you belong to, the emotional, the mental for the instinctive that's, the place, the first question second question, what is my subtype? Not what is my type go from triad to subtype and my self preservation and my social, or in my intimate triad subtype? Am I an introvert or an extra word? Because some of the types tend to be more introverted and some tend to be more extroverted? Then figure out, do you move toward against away because some of the types and we didn't go into this and we're not going to, because it's, just way too much information, are more prone to move toward someone were prone to move away, someone were prone to move against, try to figure out which one you are take all the tests someone said are there quizzes and yes and no, I mean there are tests but none of them are good they're all fine but none of them are definitive but if you take all of them if you take like five tests and the number three comes up three of the five times well that's good information for you and if the number two comes up second most then that's also good information so start just weighing that in the mix then just try to figure out okay I think I may be a three that's the one that came up most on the tests and I think I am a social subtype don't read about three read about social three go right to the subtype because that's where the flavor comes across the most strongly and the most particularly marinate like willow was saying just let it marinate don't make any big to still make any decisions don't say this is it just let it marinate think about it hold the information contemplate pay attention and then marinate some more uh until you are able tto one day I promise you something bill will go off when you go that's me and maybe tonight and maybe in a week maybe in a month but at some point it will happen interesting line of dialogue chiluba um wants to know how often people can change in there subtypes they feel like they more they've been morphing over the years and curio so um also says something similar which is that um sort of viewing themselves as a bouquet a supposed to a single flower now now we're just examining who we are in this moment right now is that the approach? No okay but that's a good question so of course you are a bouquet and we all have self preservation instincts and social and so on we all think we all feel well sense and you may not need to go further than that this may not be your cup of tea but if you do want to go further and I highly recommend it look one of those is primary and as we get older and more mature and more experienced what was primary for us when we were kids or teenagers or young adults sort of starts to blend in as we develop our other strengths but there's something at your essence theres something at your core that is unchanging that is your personality and I don't mean I mean that in the deepest sense and discovering what that is has tremendous application for your relationships for your ability to communicate without knowing that if for no other reason it's good to know it because it can help you understand your communication style in the communication styles of others and then you can connect and have relationships I'm not asking anyone to say to deny that they're able to be all of these things but I am asking us to look at who we really are and what informs the way we treat others the way we think about ourselves and what we expect of ourselves in the world and that that is useful information. Thank you for clarifying fantastic. Now, those of you who've already downloaded the workbook that comes as a bonus when you purchased the course will know that there's some really fantastic homework in there on susan, I know you're going to share that with us now describe some of them so in the workbook that you have, uh, there I have listed, I think it was eight youtube clips of different scenes from eight different movies, and your homework is to watch as many of them as you can and see if you can type the main character based on what you've learned today. And when we get back together in our next session, we will see I mean, they don't have I have my guesses, but I'll tell you what I think my guesses are and you tell me what I'll tell you what my guesses are, and then you tell me what you think and we'll talk about how do you start to type someone? And this is a good way to do it. Is just sort of look at video, look att different movies and go. I get the flavor of that. I get the flavor of this, so I chose movie clips. They're not none of them more than five minutes long. I don't think maybe eight minutes that I think really exemplify a type very clearly, and I want you, tio, watch them and see if you, if anything, strikes, you know, when we get back together, we'll talk about it. And the interesting thing is that throughout the day, the conversation has been building around. Oh, so and so is this, and I think my mom is this, but this is really an inquiry into who we are, that's, a really important distinction, okay, absolutely.